The Stepmother: An Everland Ever After Tale (6 page)

“What for?”

“For…” She looked up and met his eyes again, not sure what emotion she saw behind them. “You must miss her very much. Your wife. I’m sorry that she’s gone.”

A shrug, like her words—or his dead wife?—didn’t matter. “What’s it matter to you?”

If she’d been smart, she would’ve left it alone. But in the three days she’d known him, this was the most he’d spoken—or at least listened—about his past. She swallowed. “I’d like to know about her, if you’re willing to share.”

“Why?” It wouldn’t be wrong to call it a bark, and her shoulders straightened unconsciously.

“Because I want to know. So that one day, when Zelle asks me about her real mother, I can tell her.”

It wasn’t until his chin whipped up fast enough to cause his hair to swing in his eyes that she realized what she’d said.
One day…her real mother
. Was she considering staying here, to be Zelle’s mother? Well, why not? She’d come here for that reason; just because he hadn’t planned it, didn’t mean her desires had changed. If he wanted her—she lifted her chin and tried to calm her suddenly pounding heart—she’d still marry him.

What was it that she saw in his eyes? Hope, or fear? “You still want to be my princess’s mother?”

A deep breath, then a nod. “If you’d want to get married.” It was pretty obvious from the conversations of the last days that he’d had no thought, no desire, to get re-married. So she knew it was a long shot. But, glancing down at Zelle’s sweet head, bent over the table now, close enough to lick the flour, Meri knew that she was willing. She wanted to spend every morning baking with this little girl, and her evenings getting to know the wary stranger standing on the other side of the room. And in the between-time, she’d keep house for her new family and help the women of this town.

She could be happy here. Safe. Even if Jack Carpenter wasn’t who she thought he was; even if he wasn’t quiet and bookish, but instead had Bernard’s height and muscles…she wasn’t afraid of him. She could live with him, marry him. Maybe one day love him?

He was staring at her again, eyes wide like he wasn’t quite sure what to do with her. He looked like he might bolt at any second, and she held her breath, wondering if she’d offended him. Finally, he shook himself—shook himself completely, like a giant shiver passed through him—and turned away towards the hooks by the front door. Pulling down his thick winter coat, he shoved his arms through the sleeves, and said without turning, “We need supplies. The weather’s cleared, so I’ll head into town.”

He obviously didn’t want to talk about her confessed decision, and in some ways, that was a relief. But, grabbing a wet cloth and wiping up the flour before Zelle could lick any more of it, Meri panicked a little at the thought of him leaving. So maybe her voice was a little higher when she blurted, “Do you want me to stay here with Zelle? Or can we both come? I’d love to meet the townspeople and pick up some supplies.” If he decided not to marry her, after all, she’d need to find someplace else to live in Everland.

He was already reaching for a little red jacket hanging beside his. It looked too big for Zelle, but maybe he’d purchased it for her to grow into. It was obvious that most of the things they owned were store-bought, which proved her assumption about his wife dying a long time ago. Jack shrugged as he turned. “There are two sets of snowshoes leftover from the last owners. You’re welcome to come along with us.” It sounded like he’d been planning on taking his daughter, anyhow.

With a quick nod, she hurried towards her trunk, which was shoved in the back corner under his shelves of how-to books. Pulling out her coat, she rummaged for her hat and gloves as well. It was hard to keep the excitement out of her heart as she watched him try to coax his daughter into preparing for their adventure, so she didn’t bother. She was going to leave the house, to see Everland in the daylight.

“No! No
no
nonono
!” She’d learned it was one of Zelle’s favorite words, but this was the first time she’d heard a genuine tantrum from the girl. Jack managed to look patient and exasperated all at once, as he stood over her with her coat.

“What’s wrong, Princess?”

“No!” She screamed, slapping her hands against the table. “No go!”

“Why not? Why don’t you want to go to town with me and Meri?”

The little girl said something, but Meri couldn’t make it out. When Jack met her eyes across the table, she knew he hadn’t understood either. “What, Princess?”

This time, the little girl exhaled loudly, and repeated something that sounded very much like “B’cuts”, her
new
favorite word. The two adults looked at one another, and then burst into laughter. They’d been so wrapped up in their own thoughts of the future, and desire for a change of scenery, that they’d forgotten breakfast.

As Jack cuddled with his daughter, and praised her for her memory, Meri pulled the hot pan from the oven. Sitting down with this intriguing doctor and his delightful daughter, she relished the feeling of belonging and peace their smiles and thanks brought her.

She could be very happy here, if this were her family.

They unlaced their snowshoes while standing on the front porch of Matthews’ Dry Goods. Jack had to admit that he’d been impressed by Meri’s willingness to hike through the snow into town; she’d only fallen over once, and had come up laughing. Her skirts were heavy enough to keep her warm, luckily, but didn’t seem to get in her way too much, either. When he’d complimented her, she’d waved it off, saying that she’d snowshoed as a child. He couldn’t help imagining a little dark-haired girl with twinkly brown eyes, tromping through the woods in her native Ohio.

She’d been open about her childhood, over the last few days, and her years at the medical school in Philadelphia. He understood why she wanted to become a doctor, understood her drive to help people. It was what he and Osbourne had tried to do, for so many years in the hell that was Sing Sing, and he’d admired the old man for it. So yeah, he admired
her
for it.

But listening to her stories, her passion, had been hard too. He couldn’t share any of his past; not only didn’t want to, but knew it would be dangerous for her if she found out. So instead, he just listened to her stories about her small hometown, and the little schoolhouse she’d attended, and her memories of her mother. Most of it sounded idyllic, to a man who’d grown up on the streets of New York, and then further still in prison.

Even now, she was laughing as she tried to figure out the snowshoes. He removed his own, set down his empty sacks, and then kneeled to help her untie hers. He’d knelt before her earlier, helping her lace
on
her snowshoes, and he’d done a good job of not admiring how dainty her boots—her ankles—were. This time, though, with Zelle strapped in front of him and still jabbering away, he had to make sure he didn’t lose his balance and make them all fall off of Matthews’ porch. So he closed one gloved hand around her ankle, to hold it steady.

And that would’ve been the end of that, except he heard her suck in a breath the moment his fingers closed around her stocking. He thought maybe he’d surprised her, but when he glanced up, her expression was...terrified, almost. Then, a blink, and she looked like she was suppressing a shudder, and she offered him a weak smile. Too weak.

Bending back over his task, trying not to let his princess’s head get in the way of his vision, he wondered why she’d reacted that way to his touch. She hadn’t been repulsed, but frightened. Did it have something to do with why she’d come all the way out to Everland to marry a doctor, rather than marrying one in a big city out east? That was one part of her past that she hadn’t shared with him.

Making short work of untying her snowshoes, and trying not to let his hands linger on her ankle, he hoisted himself back up. He held the door for her, and noticed the blush that had colored her entire neck and cheeks. She didn’t look at him as she hurried inside, but murmured her thanks. He wondered if it was his touch, or himself, that had embarrassed her so much.

Zelle was squirming to get down, so he unhooked her sling as soon as they were in the cozy little store, and let her run towards the back counter. Mrs. Matthews always had a piece of peppermint candy for her when they visited, and it was the sort of thing a girl her age didn’t forget. He smiled to see her trying to pull herself up on the counter, to see if her “friend” was back there.

And he was still smiling when he caught Meri’s eye. She was looking at him with the most bemused expression, that he felt it in his stomach. She’d been so open about her past with him—despite his reticence—but there was still something she wasn’t telling him. And despite his own need to keep secrets, he wanted to know hers. Wanted—and this was what surprised him—to make things right.

Without thinking, he held out his hand. To his surprise, she placed hers in it. They’d both removed their gloves, and the shock of their skin touching sent a wave of heat up Jack’s arm. He set his jaw, and tried to tell himself that it had nothing to do with
this
woman; he was just aching for
any
release. He’d just been stuck with her for too long.

But a part of him, not too deep down, knew the truth. This woman was honest and good and wholesome and sweet—everything he’d ever wanted. Everything he might’ve once deserved. Everything that he’d tarnish, now.

Still, as he led her through the aisles, getting her opinion on what supplies to pack into his bags, he couldn’t help but feel…whole. Like this was normal. Here, buying supplies for their home. Together.

And that feeling lasted until they turned a corner into the fabric section of Matthews’ tight store, and came face-to-face with an older woman he’d never seen before. She was stooped and gray-haired, with a sharp nose and rheumy eyes behind her spectacles, and even though he logically knew that she wasn’t a threat, a part of him still wanted to pull Meri backwards, away. More than a year of running, of peering into shadows and keeping his hat pulled down low to block his face, of distrusting any and all strangers that he met, meant that he had a right to feel skittish around newcomers. There was no telling who was reporting back to Witcher. And besides, the reason he’d chosen Everland to settle down in—at least for a little while—was because it was so small. Who’d expect a stranger to show up in the middle of winter?

“Hello, Miss Gertie!” Jack’s gaze slipped to Meri in disbelief. She
knew
this old woman? She’d only been here a few… That’s when he remembered that she’d mentioned a woman named Gertie that very first day. He’d been too busy trying to figure out
what
she was doing in his house to figure out who “Gertie” might’ve been, but looks like he was about to find out.

The old woman smiled, revealing about six teeth. “Hello, Mrs. Carpenter! How lovely to see you again so soon.” Her smile for Jack was so wide he could see that those six were the only teeth she had left. “And you too, Doctor. A fine day to escort your wife around town, eh?” She winked at him, and he had the distinct impression she would’ve elbowed him in the ribs, if she could get away with it.

He felt Meri withdrawing her hand from his, and he caught her flustered expression. “Oh, I’m sorry, Miss Gertie, for the confusion. Jack and I aren’t married.” Was it his imagination, or was there an unspoken ”yet” tacked on the end of her sentence? Was that just wishful thinking, wondering if she could honestly want to marry someone like him enough to announce it to the world?

But to his surprise, the old woman cackled with laughter. “Well, no, of course not. But this isn’t Philadelphia, my dear!” How’d she’d known where Meri was from? “We don’t have ready access to a preacher at all times! He’ll be back by in a few months, when this snow clears, and he can marry you up official-like then.” She laughed again, and reached over to take Meri’s hand. Jack noticed that she didn’t flinch or pull away, like he would’ve. He didn’t mind touching, but didn’t like to
be
touched. “You came here to marry Doctor Carpenter, and now you’re living together. That’s good enough for folks around these parts. You’re married!”

That last statement finally sunk in, and Jack
did
take a step back, then, glancing at Meri to see how she was taking it. Her head was cocked to one side. The hand that had just recently been holding his was on her hip, and she was staring at the old woman thoughtfully. Finally, she said “Everyone thinks we’re married already?” The old woman grinned and nodded, and Jack had to force his heart to slow its beating. What did it matter what everyone thought? He didn’t want to know these people. Didn’t care what they thought of him.

So when Meri turned to him, he forced the carefully blank expression that had gotten him through the corporal whippings he’d been required to watch. It was a little disturbing how easily it came back to him; eyes blank, face neutral. Maintain eye contact, but let his brain go…somewhere else. Anywhere else.

So he wasn’t giving her an ounce of help… And didn’t he feel like a complete cad, when he watched her expression fall slightly? Was that hurt he saw in her eyes? But dammit, he didn’t
want
to be married to her, did he? He didn’t need to be married to anyone. He and Zelle were fine on their own, and it’d be foolish to drag another person into the trouble that was following him.

But the longer he watched her watching him, the more he felt his pretended indifference waver. He was a few heartbeats away from giving in, taking her hand again, and telling her that he’d do whatever she wanted to make the townspeople stop talking about them, when the door to the store burst open.

As they turned, he heard Zelle squeal at the cold wind, and Mrs. Matthews greet the newcomer. Meri was already hurrying for the counter—and his princess—when Jack glanced back at the old woman. Or rather, where the old woman had been. She’d disappeared.

Figuring she’d headed towards the commotion at the front of the store, Jack followed Meri. Standing in front of the counter, his hat in his hand, Mr. Spratt was arguing with Mrs. Matthews. He was a tiny man, his hair already going to gray, who ran the town’s only eatery. Zelle had picked up on their tension, and was pressed against the pickle barrel, trying to hide. Meri scooped her up, and his princess buried her face in the shoulder of the woman who wanted to be her mother.

“I don’t know a thing about birthing babies, Yacob!”

“But you are a woman, and pregn—” Mr. Spratt’s thick accent was harder to understand when he was agitated.

“This is my first!” Mrs. Matthews was agitated, and Jack watched Meri’s eyes widen in alarm. He figured she was about a breath away from telling the woman to calm down, when Mr. Spratt turned.

“Doctor! Oh,
gutte neshome!
” The man looked downright relieved to see him. “My wife, she is with Mrs. Miller, and sent me here. It is her—Mrs. Miller’s—time.”

Jack tried to remember Mrs. Miller. There’d been a timid woman, big with child, along with a Mr. Miller and some little girls, at one of the prayer meetings. He nodded, figuring that Mrs. Spratt—who had a daughter of her own—was probably one of the best to tend to her.

“But,
biteh
, doctor, my wife says this is a hard one. She says she will need help.”

Suddenly, the pleading in the other man’s eyes made sense. He wanted
Jack
to be the one to help. But Jack was already shaking his head as he backed up. He might be able to set broken bones and clean wounds, but he absolutely wasn’t qualified to help a woman in childbirth. He’d never even
seen
a woman in childbirth. There weren’t a lot of them in Sing Sing.

Maybe the others could sense his refusal, although he still hadn’t figured out a way to explain that no matter how hard this birth was, he wasn’t going to help. Mr. Spratt began twisted his hat desperately in his grip, and Mrs. Matthews had pressed herself back against the shelves, maybe in the hopes that they’d forget about her. But then Meri stepped forward, still carrying Zelle.

“We’ll go, sir.”

And that’s when he remembered that there
was
someone more qualified than Mrs. Spratt to help with a difficult birth: his new houseguest, his… Not his
wife
, but someone he’d very much want for his wife, were he a different man.

“Who are you?” The question came from Mrs. Matthews, but Meri answered Mr. Spratt.

“I’m Doctor Carpenter’s…assistant. I have extensive experience with difficult births, and would be happy to help him with Mrs. Miller.”

Mr. Spratt turned his hopeful gaze on Jack again, who sighed. What were the odds that he could just send Meri out there by herself? She sensed his hesitation, and smiled brightly at Mrs. Matthews, setting Zelle back down on her own feet. “Perhaps we could leave Zelle here with you? She seems to be quite friendly with you.”

“
Yo
, I have brought my Zosia with me as well.” The older man turned and called for his daughter, who sidled out from behind a display of shovels. She wasn’t too much older than his princess, and they’d played together a few times after the weekly prayer meetings. “I could leave her here as well, maybe,
yo
?”

Mrs. Matthews pushed herself forward eagerly. “I’d be happy to watch both little ones for a few hours. As long as I don’t have to go out to the Miller place to help, I mean!”

As nonchalantly as he could manage, Jack reached out and snagged Meri’s hand. “Can I talk with you a minute?” He began to pull her backwards. Once they were around the next aisle—but still able to see Zelle, because he knew she wouldn’t like it if he disappeared—Jack twisted so that he was standing in front of Meri. “What do you think you’re doing?”