The Steward (53 page)

Mitch
smiled
ear-to-ear when they drove past us. No one would have to hear the conversation to know what was
said. Mitch
twirled
his hands
as a signal for
Dad to peel out, and Dad
nodded
his head
while pointing
up the hill. Mom and I were very quiet—we were listening. It was completely peaceful this morning,
and
you could hear every little sound in the Weald. So even from the highway, the gutteral snarl of the revving engine and the high pitched scream of spinning tires echoed through the motionless trees to where we stood. Mom shook her head and rolled her eyes. I laughed.

I had won. I turned down a mountain of money to
keep
the Weald
intact
. I figured out a way to convince
Dad
to stay here and be happy about it, and my family felt normal again. Still, I wrestled with
the decision
over the next several hours.

After dinner, around ten o’clock, Sara disappeared and Billy took her place. I was exhausted so I said goodnight
and
went to my room. As I turned out the light, I heard the familiar growl of the Maserati coming down the driveway. With a sharp breath, I sat up and looked out my window to see it stop at the front gate. I was happy to see Sara get out, but disappointed it wasn’t Gavin. I knew better, of course, but this was the first time since that day that I had seen his car.

She moved lithely through the garden, half dancing—half walking, toward the front door. I reached the top of the stairs in time to hear Mom say, “I’m sorry, Sara
Ann
, but she has gone to bed already.”

“It’s okay
,
M
om, I’m still up.”

Mom exhaled loudly, and allowed her in.

Sara sat on my bed, but I noticed she didn’t embrace a pillow. It was odd. She seemed serious but not upset.

“Why the car? I didn’t even know you could drive.”

Her head tilted to the side and she looked at me like I was an idiot. “I can create hurricanes, Maggie, driving is not much of a challenge. I drove because I wanted to give you this,” she said. She held a Christmas package. “It’s a little too cumbersome for a Blue Jay, and I flatly refuse to transform into a crow.”
She win
k
ed and smiled, joking with me.

I took the box and began to open it.

“But I didn’t get you anything. I didn’t think...”

“Open it,” she insisted, not waiting for me to finish. “I think you’re ready. What you did today for your father did more good than two months of my healing. You deserve a little healing yourself.”

I didn’t know what to say, so I finished opening it. Inside was a necklace. A thin, beautiful gold chain with a small golden bird attached. It reminded me of the story Gavin told me.

“It’s beautiful.” I held it under the lamp light to get a better look. “It reminds me of Caorann. You shouldn’t have.”

“I didn’t,” she said uncomfortably. “I’m just delivering it.”

“But...” was all I managed before I looked into the box. There was a card inside, with only one thing on it.

G

“G!” A sharp breath caught in my throat. “Oh my god, is this from...”

She
nodded.
“He asked me to give this to you.”

Happiness, excitment, shock, they
all
hit me in the chest, and once again I had tears welling in my eyes.

“When did you see ... is he...”

“I’m sorry Maggie, he isn’t here, if that’s what you’re wondering. He found me before I returned from Europe. I have debated giving it to you sooner, but with all that you were going through, I...”

I interupted her. “No, don’t apologize. This means so much to ... I can’t think of what to say. Except thank you.” After a few moments, the smile on my face disappeared when I stared at the little bird and thought about Gavin—hiding somewhere, eternally an outcast. Guilt again. A frown formed on my face—Sara seemed puzzled.

“Maggie, are you angry?”

I tried to smile, to act grateful. But I could only think about my idiotic, impulsive kiss
,
and what it had cost Gavin. “I’m not angry with you. I’m ... I’m totally pissed at myself. I caused this
.
”
M
y voice
was surprisingly
calm and even. “If Chalen hadn’t seen me kiss him in the car, that car,”
I said, pointing
out the window
,
“Gavin would still be here. If I could do it all over again, Sara, I wouldn’t be so selfish and stupid ... and I’d ... I’d be more careful. He would be safe right now.”

“That’s not the case, Maggie
. T
he Council didn’t make its decision based on Chalen’s evidence alone.”

I felt cross when she said it.

“Then what evidence did they base it on?” I snapped. I immediatelty considered the possibility that they’d peered into my mind at the Fire trial, or watched my dreams.

“Maggie, the Council asked Gavin whether the allegations were true.”

“What? That we are in love? Good grief! That he loved me? Whatever...” I shook my head and rolled my eyes.

She had a pained look on her face, and she seemed ... emotional. I was stunned to silence by her stare.

“This cannot continue—I have to tell you. Maggie—they did ask him that—both questions. He said yes.”

THIRTY
-
ONE

DECISIONS

Everything had changed. I woke up from my first full night of sleep since Christmas, and stared at the ceiling of my room. I still couldn’t completely grasp what Sara had told me about Gavin, and I tried to keep a check on every emotion conceivable. With the images of Gavin’s face flashing in my mind, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do about it, but I had made one decision: I would stay in the Weald.

Part of my decision was due to the message Gavin relayed through Sara. He felt it was essential that I stay here. He believed, as did Sara and Billy, that my role was much more important than merely being the Steward of the Weald. He was right, of course, and if he thought it was important enough to leave so that I could stay, I wouldn’t disappoint him. Deep down at my core, I knew that he would find a way back to me, even if that seemed impossible under the current circumstances.

I was also more worried about Gavin than before—when he
only
faced a death sentence. As foreign and improbable as it sounded, he loved me and it meant our separation made him miserable. It also meant that, eventually, he would be dragged into an unthinkably dark place when I die. My eyes misted at the thought of him in pain and my chest heaved with every breath. His love was the gift I had dreamt of from the moment I first saw him, but now it was the one thing I wished I could give back.
The price he will pay will be too high—and all for what, a silly school-girl fantasy?
I stared at the gold bird, the beautiful, ironic little reminder of what love had meant for Caorann, and choked back a sob.

Stumbling out of bed, still groggy, I tried to settle my nerves with a long bath. Soaking in the bubbles, I tried to figure out what I would do if Gavin did make it back. My mind refused to work—I had nothing. In all honesty I knew I was just being silly. He couldn’t come back, right? It was that simple. Even if he didn’t make it back, I had no idea what I needed to do about Doug, who kept pressuring me for a date. While I had thought about it—a lot recently—there was no way I could now. Even if loving Gavin was like chasing smoke, my heart belonged to him and him alone.

Those weren’t the only problems I wrestled with—I was torn over what my decision tonight would mean for my family—today was New Year’s Eve. We were happy right now. Even though I had been sleep-deprived for several days, I still enjoyed seeing everything back, it seemed, to normal.

Last night Mitch had gone for another ride with Dad in the Mustang—they hadn’t missed a day yet. When they got home, Mitch came upstairs in his Razorback pajamas and climbed into Dad’s lap. Until Mitch fell asleep, they talked about the bowl game Arkansas prepared to play after the first of the year. Mom suggested putting Mitch to bed at ten o’clock, but Dad politely refused. Dad held him until he too fell asleep at midnight.

The bigger picture filled my mind—I couldn’t escape thinking about it now. It seemed inevitable. I would be the Maebown Steward, and the fate of the Maebowns of the past haunted me. Could I be as brave? Could I avert some hidden crisis?
How do I do that? I can’t even decide what I want to study in college.
I didn’t know the answer to those questions, but I did know I would risk a lot by meeting Chalen at the
Seoladán tonight
. Even
if I
survive
that, my prospects
didn’t
appear to get much brighter. Deep down, I realized I would not live to be my grandmother’s age, and very likely, not my mother’s either. For weeks, Billy and Sara
have
tried to tell me otherwise, but no amount of Fae comforting could erase what I felt was my fate. Yes, I learned to believe in fate.

* * *

I finished updating my journal, got dressed and went downstairs to help Mom get the house cleaned up. Several weeks ago I had talked to Sara and Billy about today. We debated the best way to protect everyone on New Year’s Eve. Since Seelie guards were posted around the garden, Billy and Sara thought I should have everyone here. It would be easier, they reasoned, to keep everyone safe under one roof. I agreed.

So I talked my family into hosting a New Year’s Eve party—a big one. I didn’t want to leave any of the people I cared about at risk, so they would all be here tonight. Billy saw to it that no one refused this invitation.

* * *

It’s time
.

Sara, who stayed hidden from view all evening, agreed to remain with my family at the Cottage to look after everyone celebrating the New Year. I hugged Doug, and made up an excuse that I was going to drive to Sara’s house and pick her up. I promised to be right back.

Doug smiled, and started to get up. “I’ll go with you.”

“Oh, sorry, two-seater.” I said.

“Then I’ll drive,” he offered. Doug shot me a mischievous look—I knew he saw this as a chance to finally make-out.

I smiled at him, gently grabbing the hair behind his left ear, twirling it in my fingers. “Doug, they say distance makes the heart grow fonder.”
Oh yak, he couldn’t possibly buy that line, could he?
“I’ll be right back, don’t worry. Besides, I need a few minutes of girl talk with Sara.”

Ronnie leaned over, smiling. “Oh, you’d better let her go. I insisted on listening to girl talk, just once, and look what happened to me.”

Doug smiled broadly and started laughing. He threw his arm around Ronnie’s shoulder and winked at me. Wrinkling his nose, he said, “Well, if that’s the case, I think I’ll just wait here.”

He looked back at Ronnie. “Kick your butt at some pool?”

“Wow, pretty, very pretty,” Ronnie said, slowly shaking his head, “but not very smart. Sure, prepare to be owned.” He feigned a yawn and popped his knuckles, sending Doug into laughter.

Doug followed Ronnie downstairs. I felt a bit of emptiness when I lost eye contact with them. I would have given anything to stay with them, knowing they would laugh non-stop for the next hour. But that wasn’t an option for me. After telling Mom and Dad
the story
about where I was going, I smiled at the top of the fireplace where Sara hid. I walked past the Seelie in the garden and got in my car. Billy materialized in the passenger seat, startling me, when I drove past the first bend.

“One would think you’d be accustomed to that by now.” He didn’t try to mask the humor in his voice.

“One would think.”

“Don’t be nervous. We’ll go up, and you’ll give him your answer. We’ll come right back down, just like we discussed, in and out, no more.”

“I know. And Billy … thanks for going with me.”

“Eh, it’s nothing. This will be easy. When we get back, Sara will have the Council here just after midnight and we can tell them the truth—you’ll finally be able to give them your answer and you can stop pretending. They won’t permit anything to happen to you, even if some of them are put out by the news. Having a Maebown and an Aetherfae on their side—it’s a good thing, Maggie.”