The Storm Inside (17 page)

I hated the silence.

His hand followed the water, gliding down my belly and between my legs. He worked his magic until I came apart, shattering into a soft, but spectacular orgasm.

I was little bit relieved it happened quickly. I had a feeling Jake would have kept me nailed to the shower wall until I gave him what he wanted.

His lips found mine again, but he still wasn’t right. “Let’s get you clean,” he murmured, the sadness still in his eyes.

I washed my hair while he dried off. When I was dry too, I found him sitting up in our bed with a pair of black pajama pants on. I grabbed a soft t-shirt and panties before joining him and I sat down carefully, unsure of how to handle him.

“Tell me about him,” he said softly.

Knowing how well I’d taken Ashley and Jake’s many others, I really, really didn’t want to tell him about mine. I didn’t want to relive the days or weeks of distance between us. I didn’t want to see him run.

But we would always be tied to the past until things like this were out of the way. “His name was Sebastian Monroe.” I said quietly. “He’s two years older than us, he has blonde hair and blue eyes. He is six-foot-one, probably one-seventy-five.”

Jake shook his head, his eyes shining as they watched me, “I don’t care about what the fucker looked like. Tell me about
him.
”

I couldn’t read the emotions on Jake’s face, but I knew they were powerful… and directed at me. “He was a good man and he took very good care of me.”

His eyes darkened and the muscle in his neck flexed, “Keep going.”

It was like torture.

“Sebastian was kind and loving, stable and had a good job. He’s a lead architect for a big firm.” Jake was watching me so intently it felt like he had me tied down. “We were happy together but I never loved him… I was content. He was someone to spend my days with and keep the loneliness from crushing me.”

I could have sworn Jake was trembling. “How long?”

This was where logic ceased to exist. It didn’t matter that I’d waited seven years before I took another relationship seriously or that I was simply trying to move on with my life. That wasn’t what Jake was going to hear when I spoke. Instead he would hear I tried to love someone other than him, and that reality would hurt like hell.

“Sebastian and I were together for a year. He moved in here for the last six months we were together,” Jake closed his eyes and lowered his head when I spread out my hands indicating Sebastian and I lived in this same room. “He would have proposed if I hadn’t broken it off.”

“Why
did
you?”

I sighed and closed my eyes, wishing he could really hear me, not all the fear and regret that was clouding everything around us. “I didn’t love him, Jake. I
liked
him, nothing more.”

“Did he make you come?”

The question was so abrupt and vulgar it threw me off. It was probably the last thing I expected him to ask me right now. “Ummm… yes?”

Jake took a deep breath but didn’t pull his eyes off me, “Did he make you come like I do? Every time? Or did he leave you wanting?”

Jake’s question was ludicrous. He’d clearly bypassed upset, gone right past angry, and nose-dived into jealous rage. “He wasn’t an idiot, Jake. Of course he got me off. Just like
Ashley
got you off.” I knew bringing
her
up was a low blow, but I got the response I wanted, Jake flinched.

How did I make him understand that regardless of everything, Sebastian had never been Jake? “Did he make me tremble from across the room the way you do when you look at me? No. No man has ever made me feel like you do.”

Jake was breathing hard, the bow of his shoulders accentuating the chiseled muscles beneath. When he looked up his eyes were intense in a way that said he wanted to possess me. “I want to erase Sebastian from your mind,” he growled.

Jake looked like he was going to claim me and protect me from any other man who came near me.

And for some reason that raw animalistic possession was everything I’d ever wanted. It said he loved me and only me in a way that was worth killing and fighting for. It may have come later than I’d wanted, but at least it was here.

“So come make me forget his name…”

He moved fast, pulling my legs out from underneath me and sending me flat onto my back. Then he grabbed me by the ankles and yanked me across the bed until I was underneath him. It was an adrenaline rush. “I hate him.” His voice was so gruff, I wished there was some way I could reach inside his heart and make the pain go away.

“I never loved him, Jake.”

He stilled, “Doesn’t matter.”

Then he buried his head in my neck as his hands ran over the thin cotton of my t-shirt. My nipples immediately tingled for more attention and Jake responded by sitting up on his knees and yanking my shirt up over my head.

He suckled and tugged, the sensations causing slick, hot, heat between my legs that ached for its own attention. “I want you,” I gasped. I wanted him inside me where we could both feel a connection. That special connection that comes between two people when they are locked together in orgasm.

Jake responded by yanking down his pants and pulling my panties aside, slamming into me as hard and fast as I hoped he would. The sensation of being filled with him was so satisfying I sighed with relief.

“Oh no you don’t…” he purred, running his nose up the sensitive flesh of my throat to my ear, then tugged at my lobe with his teeth.

It sent another jolt of electricity straight to my sex and I moaned out loudly, “Oh yes…”

“More?” he asked.

I nodded vehemently and he complied, teasing my ear with his tongue while his thumb ran over my nipple, and his cock pumped into me over and over. I was quite literally screwed, being teased from every accessible pleasure point simultaneously.

I knew I was being loud but I didn’t care. I wanted Jake to hear how insane he was making me. My muscles were winding up, contracting with anticipation of my coming release. But it wasn’t quick. The buildup was deliciously slow. My body rising and tightening as Jake worked me until I felt like a live wire pulled incredibly tight.

I snapped.

I called out Jake’s name, I made sure of it, as I dug my nails into his flesh, marking him with evidence of my complete and utter satisfaction.

Jake pushed harder, pumping into me faster until I finally felt his own spasms of release. When he was satisfied, Jake rested his forehead against my shoulder, “You ok?”

I took his face into my hands, forcing him to look at me for the first time since he’d entered me. When his eyes locked onto mine I told him the only thing in my mind, “You make me scream, you make me see stars. When
you
make me come the whole universe stops while I fall apart. You do that. Only you.”

He dipped his head down to brush a soft kiss against my lips. “There is a vast difference between getting a release and being pleasured beyond your wildest dreams, isn’t there?” He kissed me again. “I know, because that’s what you do to me.”

I nodded slowly. “There is no one but you.”

He swallowed, “Good. I want to be the only one you think of, the only one you turn to. I want to take care of you and I’ll kill anyone who comes near you.”

I realized there was a much deeper meaning to his words. They weren’t just some possessive male power play, they were an intense need to protect something he loved and treasured from the evils he knew all to well. When Jake promised to kill anyone who came near me he wasn’t thinking of the guys who might flirt with me one day, or even the Sebastian’s in my life. He was talking about real danger. The kind of danger he knew as a child—the kind that would truly hurt me. I had no doubt in my mind Jake would protect from anything and everything. But I also knew deep down inside he was still worried.

“You will.”

He nodded and kissed me hard, “You’re damn right I will.”

Chapter 12

We weren’t the same after Jake got all the sordid details about Sebastian, especially once he realized my former lover was still loosely connected to my life. While I hadn’t seen Sebastian in the last year and hadn’t had any conversations with him, I knew he was doing well. I knew that because he and Jennie still regularly chatted. Not to mention Sebastian and Ricardo were pretty good friends. The two met up for golf and Buc’s games on a regular basis.

Then there was the fact that Sebastian was still friendly with my family—with June in particular. He chatted with her on Facebook and kept up with Cassandra. Hell, he even met up with my dad from time to time.

It had pushed Jake away from me and I knew why. It had as much to do with what Sebastian stood for as anything. Sebastian had been the stable, loving man at my side when Jake couldn’t. Because Jake had been on the other side of the world, Sebastian had been part of my life, part of my family.

It didn’t matter that Jake was here now. It didn’t matter that I never loved Sebastian. It was the idea of it all; it was eating away at Jake.

He was distant. Some days it was as if he wasn’t there with me at all. When we made love it was functional, mechanical. I was satisfied physically, but not mentally. He’d started sleeping on his side of the bed again, only holding me for the first five minutes of the night before kissing my head and rolling away.

But then it was if he’d suddenly wake up and realize how many days had passed with him in a stupor. He’d try to make up for being so absent by overwhelming me, showing up for lunch unannounced, bringing my favorite foods, buying me music, and fucking me senseless.

I felt like I was on an emotional rollercoaster, never knowing which Jake would show up. I felt like I was starting to lose my mind. I was crying for no reason, avoiding Jake, staying at work later than I had to. The baseball season was winding down so it wasn’t a complete lie, but I also didn’t need to be there as much as I was.

I didn’t know how I was going to deal with Jake if the Ray’s didn’t make the playoffs.

I was starting to get worried. All of this was exactly what I was worried about. If a former ex-boyfriend I didn’t even love could push Jake so far away from me, what would he do with a real problem? Maybe love still wasn’t enough.

The realization was terrifying and it was making me edgy.

It all came to a head over dinner one night. I met him at Estela’s Mexican restaurant down the street from home. In my search for comfort I’d asked for a giant burrito. Jake was brooding over something, paying more attention to the messages he was getting on his phone than he was to me.

“Babe, if you have a problem at work, please go. I can get myself home just fine.”

He set down his phone and glared across the table at me. “Don’t be ridiculous. I’m off the clock.”

How was I the ridiculous one? “Then can you put your phone away until we get home? I feel like you and your phone are on a date, not you and me.”

Jake’s brooding quickly became anger. It pissed me off he that was angry at me.

“I am not on my phone that much.”

I snorted, “You believe your own bullshit if you want to, but I don’t have to.”

“Excuse me? Maybe we
should
go home if you are in such a bitchy mood.”

That was it. I was done, that was the final straw. I slammed down my napkin and pushed back from the table, grabbing my purse, “How about this, Jake. You go to your apartment and I’ll go to my house. Call me when you decide you actually want to be with me again… or better yet, don’t. I’m tired of waiting for you.”

His anger boiled over, fire burning in his eyes. “How dare you say something like that to me? You don’t throw around shit like that.
Ever.
”

The problem was Jake didn’t understand I wasn’t throwing it around for fun. It wasn’t a game. I really was sick of his bullshit. I understood how badly he hurt, it hadn’t been a picnic to know about Ashley. But it was reality. There was an Ashley and there was a Sebastian. If he couldn’t deal with that, if Jake was going to let it change the way he felt about me, I didn’t want to be with him. I’d already waited too long for him as it was.

“Jake Spencer, pull your shit together or don’t ever call me again. I’m done.”

I stood up and stormed out of the restaurant before Jake and everyone else saw me cry. I was going to cry and it was going to be seriously ugly.

I heard Jake’s footfalls behind me so I started to run. I wasn’t that far from my car and I had a head start, if I hurried I could escape from him before he caught me.

But as I reached for my handle, Jake’s hand closed around my arm just above the elbow, “Eve, wait.” He spun me away from the handle and pushed my back against the car.

“Let go of me right now Jake.”

He glowered at me, equal parts angry and terrified. “Not if you are going to run away from me.”

“Let go of me right now Jake.” I repeated through clenched teeth.