The Straight Crimes (37 page)

“I can’t do that,” she insisted.

“Yeah, I know you can. Take him some place he’ll love. I couldn’t make him happy while he was alive, so this is the least I can do for him now. Please, do this for me. More importantly, do this for Nik.”

Overwhelmed, Harper nodded her head. “I’ll take care of him. I know exactly where he’ll wanna go.”

The breathtaking sunset rippled across the immense lake and shimmered against the steady waves. The crispness of the air was cleansing. It felt cathartic to Harper as she walked across the desolate beach, cradling Nik’s urn in her unsteady arms.

She stopped briefly beside the towering lighthouse, at the very spot she held him during his final moments. Its haunting magnetism pulled Harper to her knees in devastation. The immeasurable emptiness ran through her soul, making his absence incredibly real.

The beach was alive with memories, as if it was the fabric of Nik’s essence. His energy was intertwined in the elements.

“The service was real nice, Nik. Everyone in town was there, at least everyone I could remember. Along with your obituary, the Silver Shores Chronicle ran a big article about our story in the paper. They even called you their future intern, which was real neat. I thought you’d like to know that. We’ve been quite the buzz around town ever since, which is why I wasn’t surprised by the turnout. The response was overwhelmin’, but you deserved that respect. God, I can’t do this!” she screamed.

Harper squeezed her lips tenderly and stared off into the blazing sunset to gather her strength and collect herself. “It reminded me of a vision I had—and no I ain’t sayin’ I’m one of those psychics ‘cause I know you don’t believe in that junk,” she laughed through her cleansing tears. “Remember the night of Traci’s party, when I came to stay with you? Before all that, I was hidin’ in the balcony and watchin’ all the couples linkin’ arms. At that moment, I had this daydream of you and me, surrounded in a room of strangers. It was filled with light, and for the first time in our lives, we were truly accepted. No one was whisperin’ about us. We were just Nik and Harper, and that was enough. Nothin’ else mattered. Ever since that night, I’ve wondered if that could ever happen, but today that moment finally came true for us. We were together in that church and nobody cared. No one made us feel like we were less than them. We were just 
us
.”

Harper tightened her grip around Nik’s urn. “I wanted to tell you that ‘cause it reminded me of somethin’ I read in your journal. Now don’t go gettin’ mad at me—your daddy let me see it. Believe it or not, he’s even lettin’ me stay in your room for however long I need. I can tell he’s real sorry for everything.”

The cool breeze sent chills over her body as she thoughtfully gathered her words. “Anyway, I’ve read your entry over and over again. It makes me feel close to you, like you’re here. I can still see you sittin’ across from me on the beach, lost in thought with that damn pencil movin’ as fast as it could. I loved watchin’ you sit there, writin’, but I always wondered what was goin’ on inside your head. And now, I finally know...”

Harper pulled out Nik’s brown suede journal and read his last entry aloud:

“'Through the early morning light, I'm awoken to the sweetest sight. She’s tangled in my embrace, and she’s all mine. She's eloquent in her simplicity. She's the air I breathe and the life I've been missing. She's the reason I wake and the reason I sleep, so I can dream of her. And in these dreams…we are acknowledged. I can only pray that one day the world will dignify our love.

Sometimes I envision a life where man and woman could be together without fear of scorn. However, if someone loved any differently, they wouldn't be condemned for whom they are. It shouldn’t matter who you love, but just that you’re able to love.

No matter what happens, our world won’t change until we harness the capacity to show compassion and embrace our differences. That seems difficult to imagine during these times. Perhaps we can look at our progress, reflect on where we came from, and renounce our ignorance. If by opening our minds we were receptive to at least one awakening, then we would already be better than the people we've been. We would embody the true essence of humanity and create a world shielded from discrimination and hate.

Until that time, I won’t let anyone tell me I can’t love Harper. It doesn't matter who stands in my way, no one will keep us apart. My heart and soul burn for her. My body aches for her. I could make love to her a thousand times, but I’d never feel we’re close enough. I'd always want more and will always fight for her…with all of me.’”

“Nik, I didn't know how to cope with all of this, but I learned somethin’ so important. I realized what you’ve been tryin’ to get me to figure out all along—what we learn about ourselves is sometimes more important than the actual things we accomplish. I’m grateful for what you did. It was real brave. No one will ever do somethin’ more important as long as I live. To be honest, it made me feel guilty. Everyone’s sayin’ I can’t think like that, and I know you’d say the same thing. So instead, I need to look at the person I've become. After we met, I found out I wasn’t so tough. ‘Cause of you, I'm able to be open and honest with everyone, includin’ myself, about who I am. I ain’t afraid of what others think of me anymore. Now I know how to be confident and proud…and humble. None of that would have happened if we hadn’t met.”

Harper exhaled, struggling to maintain composure through her tears. "Thank you, babe, for showin’ me that it's okay to be myself, and that I was actually worthy of someone like you. It inspired me to write a lil’ somethin’. I know you’re probably laughin’, thinkin’ what in the hell could I 
possibly
 write.”

Harper dried her eyes and walked to the damp shoreline, cradling Nik’s urn in her arms. A shiver enveloped her body as the frozen touch of the tide tickled her ankles.

Then, she recited from memory, "This is our place. Through the harsh waves, the lighthouse stands strong and guides the wanderers safely home. Like many others, who may be lost and fightin’ for everything, we search for the promise of its glow. The beach meant everything to us. That’s why you belong here. Every time I come back, I want it to be alive with your memory. So if you ever need me, just call and I’ll come runnin’. I mean it, any ole’ time you ever need me, just look up for that lonely beacon and I'll be waitin’ here for you. When I see the waves crashin’ against the shore, I’ll know that it’s you reachin’ out, lettin’ me know that you're always here, always comin’ back to me…always comin’ home."

In that instance, all the time she’d spent with Nik flooded back. Images of his handsome face replayed along with everything they’d endured, including their highs and their lows.

Most importantly, she felt his tenderness, everything from Nik’s gentle nature, to the romantic evening at the marina, and to their passionate escapade inside the lighthouse. Those sweet moments were etched in her memory like a scrapbook. They were all she had left, but she’d never let them go for anything.

Overwhelmed with emotion, Harper carefully opened the urn and walked to the water’s edge. After letting out a long breath, she carefully scattered Nik’s ashes into the gentle waves.

One by one, they glimmered and sparkled against the water, fading into the brilliant sunset.

Uncontrollably sobbing, Harper fell to her knees. She ran her fingers through the cold water and whispered, “I’ll see you soon.”

As the calm waves crashed against her body, she closed her tear-soaked eyes. Harper felt reprieve deep in her heart, a reassurance that it was Nik reaching back for her. She knew that he’d be there whenever she needed him, just as he promised he always would. And even though she couldn’t see him, their love would live forever…neither of them would ever let that die.

THE END

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Rockton, Illinois native Matt Juhl has been storytelling from an early age. Growing up the youngest of five children, he was always looking for a way to assert himself.
 Discovering a passion for writing, Matt penned his first piece at the age of twelve. He went on to create more works, including several plays, short stories, and poems. 

In the summer of 2010, while visiting the breathtaking coastline of Western Michigan, the picturesque surroundings of the desolate beaches breathed life into one of Matt's stories, culminating in the creation of his first novel,
 
The Straight Crimes.
 
Matt resides in Fort Worth, Texas. He's currently working on his next novel.

Facebook:
www.facebook.com/writemattjuhl

Twitter:
@writemattjuhl

Website:
www.mattjuhl.net

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