He ruffled Darren’s beanie as the boy pushed past him through the door of the tent.
‘Where are you going?’ he asked. ‘It’s freezing out there.’
‘I can hear someone coming.’ Darren leaned outside. ‘It’s Mr Jensen.’
Mrs Jensen leapt up and bustled out of the tent. Lex looked outside too and saw Denis Jensen hobbling towards the tent with Mrs B.
‘Good Lord, man!’ Mrs Jensen cried. ‘Have you been sitting up there all day? Of all the silly things to do! I thought you’d have driven home after you dropped me off.’
Lex joined her in helping them into the tent and onto folding chairs. He saw Beryl leap up, flustered, to start making cups of tea. He noticed she was dodging Mrs B’s sharp eyes.
‘You silly man,’ Mrs Jensen said. ‘I could have taken a lift home with someone else. And now poor Mrs B has to bring you down here, when she can hardly make the distance herself.’
‘I can manage well enough,’ Mrs B said in her gravelly old voice. She glanced at Lex and took in his fatigue. With a curt nod, she accepted a cup of tea from Mrs Jensen.
‘I was out at the Point all morning just knowing something was going on,’ she said. ‘I should have listened to my intuition, shouldn’t I? But when you get to my age, you’re never sure whether it’s your intuition or insanity talking.’
She leaned forward on her walking stick and examined them all with fierce eyes.
‘Looks like insanity’s closer to the truth,’ she snapped. ‘What’s been going on down here? Is this supposed to be some sort of rescue?’ She glared at them all. ‘I went to town early this afternoon and there wasn’t a soul to be seen. The whole of Merrigan is down here, it appears. I had to take myself up to the church to find out what was going on. The minister was the only living soul around.’ She nodded at him, still sitting with Helen.
‘It’s happened before around here, you know. A stranding. Years ago. But not like this.’ She waved her arms in the air expressively. ‘They blew the last one up. The army did it. And a damned sight more humane it was than what’s going on here. Denis and I have been watching it all from on the hill. The poor damned thing being dragged into the water. You should all be ashamed, the lot of you, for being involved in it.’
No one spoke.
‘Now,’ she said, poking at the sand with her walking stick. ‘Where’s Jimmy Wallace? If anyone can explain this to me, it’ll be him. The Wallaces know more about whales than anyone else around here.’
‘He’s down at the water’s edge,’ Lex said.
‘Take me,’ she said.
Lex took the old lady’s elbow and they walked down towards the water where they found Jimmy and Callista together. Jimmy sensed their approach and turned to Mrs B, his eyes meshing silently with hers for several long moments. Not a word was spoken.
‘I see,’ she said, taking the large rough hand he held out to her.
The old woman’s shoulders sagged and the anger passed. Somehow in that wordless exchange, Jimmy had communicated everything Mrs B needed to know. He put an arm around her shoulders and they stood staring silently out to sea for a long while.
Lex left them and scuffed away along the sand until he was alone. He sat down in the congealing dusk, aware of his heart thumping anxiously and goose bumps prickling along his arms. Uncertainty chilled him. He looked along the beach. Everyone else must be feeling the same way. Most people were clustering quietly around the shoreline. They couldn’t see much in the late afternoon light. Just the dark shapes of the boats far out, merging with the horizon.
Lex hung his head between his knees and closed his eyes. He could still see the mistiness of the morning as he and Callista had walked down the beach together, pushing into the wind. There had been hope between them then, possibilities, the suggestion of a future. But today had sealed the lid on everything, again, for the last time. In a way, their disagreement over the whale was symbolic of their struggle to find common ground. It surprised him that on the beach today he had been the level one, the steady one, who had seen no sense in continued suffering to fulfil an entirely human will for rescue. He had wanted to find a peaceful end for the whale. But Callista, always so broadminded and practical when it came to emotive issues like modern whaling, she had been the one caught up in the mindless race to rescue, the life-at-all-costs approach. It wasn’t what he had expected of her. And it had brought them to loggerheads again. He felt the shock of the entire day tumbling inside him.
He was vaguely aware of Taylor’s voice scratching out over the loudspeaker again, and then the sudden note of excitement caught his attention. He leapt to his feet and tried to see out into the deepening murkiness of early evening. There was a long pause as Taylor waited for information to dribble in via his two-way radio.
‘There’s some unexpected activity going on out there,’ he said. ‘Apparently, the whale’s rolling from side to side in the water as if he’s testing himself out . . . He’s lifted a pectoral fin on each side. Given them a slap . . . Tim says his breathing’s fairly regular . . . maybe a bit laboured . . . but he’s moving around some more . . . They think he might be preparing to dive . . . They’re staying in behind him to keep him pointed in the right direction . . .’
Lex hoped the whale would dive soon. Get the hell out of there, with dark coming on. He imagined the whale rolling down beneath the rising swell, the dorsal fin peaking just before the flukes rose out of the water and then slipped under. He hoped the whale would do it spectacularly and wave those flukes high on the way down. It would be a victory for the whale then, departing like that.
He glanced along the beach to where everyone was waiting. In the gloom, he could see the flare of an occasional cigarette being lit down by the water’s edge. There was a dull murmuring of voices and the constant sound of the waves breaking and scuttling into shore. He felt strangely detached. And the sand was getting colder. With everything happening so far offshore, there was a lack of tangibility, a lack of reality. But it was best they couldn’t see what was going on out there. Then they could imagine the finale as they wished. The reality would probably be far less liberating.
He thought of Callista and felt resignation settle. A flush of loneliness, knowing he was on his own again. The momentary ache of not knowing where to go. Then Taylor crackled over the loudspeaker.
‘We’re a bit unsure why the whale’s still hanging around. They thought he was going to dive, but he’s stopped still again at the surface . . . They’re going to take the Zodiac up close to encourage him to head out to sea . . .’
Lex’s heart began to gallop. His resignation fled and hope surfaced, intermingled with fear. Taylor’s voice came over the speaker, tight and guarded.
‘They’re up alongside the whale now. They’ve got the lights on him because it’s getting dark out there. Tim’s leaning out from the Zodiac to stir him up a little . . . That’s good. Apparently, he’s responding . . . They say he’s moving. Maybe having a bit of a look around . . . Looks like he might swim. . . . They’re shifting in to keep him facing out to sea . . . He’s moving out, they’re telling me, swimming along a bit . . . they’re having to follow him . . . It looks like he might dive . . . Yes. There it is. He’s done the up-flukes. And he’s gone. That’s it!’
Lex touched his cheeks with his fingertips and was surprised to find tears there.
The boats followed the whale further offshore, but the crowd was finished with it now. They had the ending they wanted and so the day was over. Everyone milled around under the sudden glare of the floodlights, shaking hands and patting each other on the back. It was a quiet celebration. Now that everything was over, there was a mood of exhausted elation and a weary lack of direction.
Taylor wandered around quietly, shaking hands and saying little. Jarrah slapped him on the back with enthusiastic jubilance and Taylor took his hand, but offered only a small smile. Callista was surprised Taylor wasn’t more animated. Maybe he was too tired and had done this sort of thing too often. With the excitement over, nausea swamped her. She couldn’t remember ever being so exhausted. She merged with the shadows on the edge of the camp to look for her father. The Parks staff had already started packing away. He would be helping with that.
Jimmy was down near the water’s edge, deflating mattresses and looping ropes in large coils on the sand. In the shadows, he looked gaunt and haggard. His motions were mechanical; the deliberate slow movements of a tired, ageing man.
‘Dad,’ she called. ‘Isn’t it great!’
Jimmy looked up. His eyes were hollow.
‘The whale,’ Callista said. ‘Aren’t you pleased about it?’
Jimmy threw another coil of rope. ‘The whale isn’t going to make it, Callie. Taylor couldn’t tell the crowd, but the poor bugger hasn’t a hope in hell. Started bleeding from the blowhole. Erratic breathing. And he couldn’t float straight. Kept wallowing onto his side and trying to correct in time for the next breath.’
‘There’s a chance though, isn’t there?’
Jimmy cast another coil of the heavy rope. He stood up a moment with his hands supporting the small of his back and stretched, studying Callista. ‘You look awful, girl.’
‘I feel terrible.’
He gestured out to sea. ‘They’ll follow him out another kilometre or so then they’ll turn back. When they drop the vet off, I’m going to send you out to the boat in the Zodiac. Jordi’ll take you home. I’ll be here for hours yet. Have to pack away.’
He finished coiling the rope. ‘Is Lex still around?’ he asked.
‘Somewhere.’
‘Good, we’ll need his muscles. The crowd will disperse pretty quick now. Nothing to hold them here. Packing up isn’t half as romantic as rescue.’
‘There’s nothing romantic about whale rescue.’
‘You learned something.’
‘You’ve left me with nothing positive to take home.’
‘Would you have believed me if I put on a smile?’
It was eerie riding the Zodiac out to Jordi in the dark. As they left the floodlit shore, the Zodiac operator gave Callista a spotlight to help him navigate through the incoming waves. Then he asked her to extinguish it and they used the soft light emanating from the boat to find their way over the swell towards it. Jordi hauled her aboard, and waved to the operator who pulled away and zipped off to the shark-cat.
Jordi said nothing, of course. In his brief glance she saw he had knowledge he didn’t want to share and she let him keep it. What Jimmy had told her had been enough. Jordi waved her to a seat but she walked past it to the bow and stood there as he swung the boat seawards and set a course to take them out around the headland. Way out there she could see the periodic blinking of the beacon to guide them out from the rocks. For a while she looked down into the water and followed the rhythmic surge of white froth as the bow ploughed through the swell, slicing the black water.
Some distance out a squall closed in. Rain sluiced across Callista’s face and Jordi called her to cover, but still she stayed out there. Somehow the punishment of the weather seemed fitting and she wanted to ride through it, even though it was irrational. Her face chilled and the cold rain was like needles on her skin. Jordi called again. But this pain was something that she needed. She couldn’t explain why. She stayed out there, feeling the rain run under her hood and down inside her coat.
The squall ended as quickly as it began. Suddenly she was in clear night again, watching the dim beams of the boat illuminating the water beyond the bow. She realised she had lost the beacon in the squall, because suddenly there it was, blinking out of the blackness. It was like life really. The truth was always there, only you lost it sometimes in the murk of your private storms. It took major events for you to catch sight of it again. And then there were moments of vivid clarity when the path seemed so obvious you wondered how you had lost your way.
It was the barriers she didn’t understand—when you thought you knew where you were going and then a roadblock appeared, so enormous you couldn’t see a way over it. That was how it was with Lex. She needed him to show her where the right footholds were so she could reach him safely. But he was always looking the other way.
Lex returned to the tea tent to a group of weary faces. He had planned to help pack up, but there was another job to do first. This group needed shepherding back to their cars. He’d have to borrow a spotlight from one of the rangers to lead them up the beach. Mrs and Mr Jensen looked overwhelmed by the whole experience. Helen was quiet and subdued, with Darren clamped to her hand, his face white and tired. Beryl was pale and bedraggled, despite the lipstick and the henna, and Mrs B sat stiffly turned away from her on a foldout chair with one hand on her stick, ready to go at first call. Her mouth was a tight line and her old blue eyes flashed into his. She was angry about the rescue. And about the proximity of Beryl. Sue and John Watson were still packing away in the food tent. They would make their own way back. The minister had left earlier, just before dark.
Before taking the Merrigan crew up the beach, Lex tracked down Jimmy. He was dismantling the volunteer tent with two other men.
‘I hoped you’d find me,’ Jimmy said, setting down a bunch of tent pegs so he could shake Lex’s hand. ‘We need all the help we can get.’
‘I have to take some of the locals back to their cars first. There’s a few of them looking pretty weary.’
‘We’ll be here a while.’ Jimmy regarded Lex for a lengthy moment.
‘No good, eh?’ Lex said quietly.
Jimmy shook his head.
‘Does she know?’
‘I sent her home with Jordi.’
‘Good. Best to get her off the beach.’
Jimmy grasped his shoulder. ‘We’ll see you soon.’
It was a long march down the beach in the dark. The beam of the spotlight lit a bright circle outside of which everything was cast in the deepest black. Lex instructed Darren to lead the way with the spotlight and he walked just behind, supporting Mrs B and Mr Jensen. Beryl and Helen assisted Mrs Jensen, who was stiff after standing all day in the cold. It was eerie following the bright blaze of the beam with the night slick and black around them.