the STRUGGLE (15 page)

Esther chuckled. “Just don’t eat too many or you’ll spoil your appetite for supper.”

He wiggled his eyebrows playfully. “After that snowball battle, not a chance.”

When Timothy left the room, Esther turned to Samuel and said, “I doubt that one of my cookies will help Hannah. I think she’ll be down in the dumps tonight and tomorrow as well.”

“You’re probably right.” Samuel, his hair still wet from the snow, moved to stand beside Esther. “I’ve been thinking about something,” he said, slipping his arm around her waist.

“What’s that?” Esther asked as Samuel wiped a drip of water that had splashed from his hair onto her cheek.

“I was wondering how you’d feel about us getting married right after the first of the year.”

Esther drew in a sharp breath. The thought of marrying Samuel so soon made her feel giddy. “Oh Samuel, I’d love to marry you as soon as possible, but Timothy and Hannah haven’t found a home of their own yet.”

“I realize that, but I was hoping we could get married anyway.”

“You mean two families living under the same roof?”

He nodded.

“I don’t think it would work, Samuel. Hannah and I do things so differently—especially concerning the kinner. It’s been hard enough for us to get along with me here just a few hours each day. If I was here all the time, I’m afraid Hannah would resent me even more than she does already. Sometimes things are fine, and other times I can feel the tension between us. It’s uncomfortable being constantly on edge.”

Samuel nuzzled her cheek with his nose, where the drip of snow had just been. “So would you prefer to wait to get married till after Timothy and Hannah find a place of their own?”

Esther’s heart fluttered at his touch. “Jah. As difficult as it will be to wait even longer, I think that would be best.”

Hannah had just finished putting the quilt back on the guest bed when Timothy entered the room. “What’s that you have behind your back?” she asked, blowing a strand of hair out of her eyes.

Timothy held up the cookie. “Thought you’d like to try one of Esther’s pumpkin kichlin. They’re sure good.” He smacked his lips and handed her the treat.

As much as Hannah disliked hearing her husband rave about Esther’s cookies, her stomach growled at the prospect of eating one. The whole house smelled like pumpkin, and she had to admit when she bit into the cookie that it was really good.

“You should have seen the snowball battle Samuel and I just had with Leon. Foolin’ around in the snow like that made me feel like a kid again.” Timothy grinned and kicked off his boots. “Remember when we first got married, how we enjoyed doing things like that?”

“I did see you three down there in the yard,” she said, ignoring his comment. “I was watching out the window and thinking how nice it would be if you spent more time with Mindy and played games with her like you did with Leon.” Hannah tromped across the room and picked up Timothy’s boots. “You should have taken these off downstairs. I hope you didn’t track water all the way up the stairs,” she grumbled. “Now please take them over to our room and put them on the throw rug. I just got this room all nice and clean for your parents, and now you’re dripping water all over the floor.”

Hannah watched as Timothy picked up his boots and did as she asked, not saying a word as he walked across the hall to their room. She knew his good mood had evaporated once she’d started lecturing him. But it irritated her to see Timothy have fun with Samuel’s son instead of their own daughter. And couldn’t he see that the room for his parents was all nice and clean?

“I guess not,” Hannah muttered. “Timothy and I just don’t see things the same way anymore. Maybe we never did, but it seems like it’s gotten worse since we moved to Kentucky.”

Nashville, Tennessee

“It sure is good to see you,” Bonnie said as she and her dad left the airport terminal and headed for her car.

He grinned and squeezed her hand. “It’s good to see you, too, and I appreciate you coming all this way to pick me up.”

“It’s not that far, Dad. Besides, this is the closest airport to where I live. I just wish you could stay longer than a few days,” she said, opening her trunk so he could put his suitcase inside.

“I do, too, but I need to be back at work by next Monday.”

“I’d hoped you might have put in for a few more days’ vacation than that.”

“Maybe I can come and stay longer sometime this spring or summer.” He climbed into the passenger’s side and buckled his seat belt.

As they drove toward Kentucky, they got caught up with one another’s lives. “I’m really anxious to show you all the changes that have been made to your folks’ old house,” Bonnie said. “I think Grandma and Grandpa’s place makes the perfect bed-and-breakfast. “

He smiled. “I’m looking forward to seeing it, too.”

As they neared Clarksville, it began to snow, so Bonnie turned on the windshield wipers and slowed down a bit. “It started snowing in Pembroke last night,” she said. “And when I left to come to the airport, it was still snowing, but as I got closer to Nashville, it quit.”

“I sure didn’t expect to see snow on this trip,” Dad said. “We haven’t had any in Oregon yet.”

Bonnie frowned as she stared out the front window. If the snow kept coming down like it was right now, by this evening it could be a lot worse. She hoped Samuel’s folks would make it safely and said a mental prayer for everyone who might be driving in the snow throughout the day.

C
HAPTER
19

O
ut of politeness, Hannah stood on the front porch, watching as Timothy and Samuel greeted their parents. From the joyous expressions on the brothers’ faces, she knew they were happy to see their folks. Fannie and Abraham were equally delighted to be here.

Hannah couldn’t deny them that pleasure, but it was hard to be joyful when she missed her own parents so much. Her chin quivered just thinking that at this very moment she could have been greeting her parents as well. She looked away, trying to regain her composure and knowing she’d have to put on a happy face. She’d make every attempt to do it, if for no other reason than for Mindy’s sake, because she wanted her daughter to have a nice Christmas with at least one set of grandparents. But she’d only be going through the motions, because inside she was absolutely miserable.

When Fannie finished greeting her sons, she turned to Hannah and gave her a hug. “Wie geht’s?” she asked.

“I’m doing okay. How about you?”

Fannie smiled. “I’m real good now that we’re here safe and sound.”

“That’s right,” Abraham said, nodding. “The roads on this side of Kentucky are terrible, and we saw several accidents. Fortunately, none of ’em appeared to be serious.”

“Let’s go inside where it’s warmer.” Samuel opened the door for his parents. Everyone followed, including Fannie and Abraham’s driver, who said he could really use a cup of coffee before heading to his friend’s house on the other side of Hopkinsville.

Esther greeted Fannie and Abraham as soon as they entered the kitchen; then she and Hannah served everyone steaming cups of coffee.

“I made plenty of cookies for our dessert tonight, so we may as well have some of them now.” Esther smiled as she placed a plate of pumpkin cookies on the table.

“Those look
appenditlich
,” Fannie said, reaching for one.

“You’re gonna enjoy ’em.” Timothy grinned at his mother. “I already sampled a few, and they are delicious.”

“I can vouch for that,” Samuel agreed.” ‘Course, everything Esther bakes is really good.” He smiled at Esther, and the look of adoration on his face put a lump in Hannah’s throat. It had been such a long time since Timothy had looked at her that way or complimented her on her baking.

Maybe he doesn’t love me anymore
, she thought.
If he did, then why’d he force me to move here?
Hannah’s mood couldn’t get much lower.
Just listen to them. Everybody loves Esther’s cookies
. It made her want to escape upstairs to her room. They’d probably be enjoying that Kentucky chocolate chip pie she’d volunteered to make if she hadn’t changed her mind about it. But her heart just wasn’t in it. Without her parents coming to celebrate Christmas with them, Hannah wasn’t in the mood for much of anything. She might try making the pie some other time. Maybe after she and Timothy had a place of their own. If she baked something Timothy really liked, he might compliment her for a change.

Hannah’s thoughts were quickly pushed aside when five young children darted into the room. With smiling faces, Fannie and Abraham set their coffee cups down and gathered the children into their arms.

“Ach, my!” said Fannie, eyes glistening. “We’ve missed you all so much.”

“We’ve missed you, too,” Marla said, hugging her grandma around the neck. The other children nodded in agreement.

After all the hugs and kisses had been given out, the children found seats at the table, and Esther gave them each a glass of milk and two cookies.

“That’s plenty for Mindy,” Hannah said. “If she eats too many kichlin, it’ll spoil her supper.”

“We won’t be eating the evening meal for a few hours yet,” Timothy said. “So I don’t think a couple more cookies will hurt her any.”

Hannah, though irritated, said nothing, preferring not to argue with her husband in front of his parents.

“I’m sorry your folks weren’t able to make it.” Fannie offered Hannah a sympathetic smile. “We stopped by their place before we left town to pick up the gifts they asked us to bring, and your daed seemed to be in a lot of pain.”

“That’s what Mom said when I spoke with her on the phone this morning.” Hannah blinked against the tears pricking the back of her eyes. Not only was she sad about her folks being unable to come, but she still felt bad that Dad had injured his back, and she wished she could be there to help Mom take care of him.

“I know your mamm was really looking forward to coming here,” Fannie said, “but I’m sure they’ll make the trip as soon as your daed is feeling better.”

“It probably won’t be until spring,” Hannah said, her mood plummeting even lower. “I’m sure they won’t travel when the roads are bad, and I wouldn’t want them to.”

“Speaking of the roads,” their driver, Andy, spoke up, “I’d better head to my friend’s house now, before this weather gets any worse.”

Timothy and Samuel both jumped up from the table. “We’ll get Mom and Dad’s stuff out of your van so you can be on your way,” Timothy said.

“I’ll come with you.” Abraham pushed his chair aside and stood.

After the men went outside, the children headed back upstairs to play. “I think I’ll go out to the phone shanty and call Bonnie,” Esther said. “Her dad is supposed to arrive today, so I want to see if he made it okay.” She slipped on her jacket and hurried out the door.

Thinking this might be the only time she’d have to speak with Fannie alone, as soon as everyone else had left, Hannah moved over to sit next to her mother-in-law.

“I know how close you’ve always been to your twins,” she said, carefully choosing her words, “and I’m sure having them both move to Kentucky has been really hard for you.”

Fannie nodded slowly. “I never thought any of our kinner would leave Pennsylvania.”

“I didn’t think they would either—especially not Timothy. I thought he enjoyed painting for Zach and farming with his daed.”

“I believe he did,” Fannie said, “but Timothy wanted a new start, as did Samuel and Titus.”

“I don’t like it here,” Hannah blurted out, wanting to get her point across. “I want to go back to Pennsylvania, and I was hoping you might talk Timothy into moving back home.”

Fannie sat quietly, staring at her cup of coffee. With tears shimmering in her eyes, she said, “I can’t do that, Hannah. I’ve already expressed the way I feel to Timothy, and if I say anything more, it would probably make him even more determined to stay in Kentucky. It could drive a wedge between us that might never be repaired.”

Hannah lowered her gaze, struggling not to cry. “Then I guess I’ll have to spend the rest of my life being miserable.”