The Suicide Project (Rebirth Book 1) (15 page)

Without waiting for me to respond, Kyrie bounded out the door and was gone in the blink of an eye. She was such a sweetheart. A chipper, perky, brim-full-of-infinite-energy-first-thing-in-the-morning sweetheart. I groaned to myself as I noticed that the pink wall clock on Kyrie’s side of the room read that it was only 9am. This was so
not
my idea of sleeping in. Kyrie’s excitement and enthusiasm was contagious though, and I started pondering what other surprises this day would bring. Bemused, I went into my closet and grabbed a pair of jeans and a funky grey, asymmetrical top.
God, how I missed my jeans!
As an afterthought, I snagged a pair of black, 3 inch-heeled ankle boots to complete my outfit.

No doubt my ensemble was too dressy for a place like this, but I missed my old clothes too much to care. I had been living in sweatpants and tank tops for the last six months, and hadn’t realized until that moment how much I yearned for more feminine apparel. Shrugging, I reasoned that if any of the military staff had a problem with my outfit, I could always dart back in here and change clothes real quick. I didn’t really know what was expected of me today anyways. Stopping beside the dresser, I grabbed a fresh set of underthings. Caressing my black silk bra, I confessed to myself how much I missed the simple luxury of wearing a
real
bra instead of sports bras.
It’s such a little thing, but I can’t believe how much I missed normal underwear!

My duffel bag was still on the floor beside my bed where I had left it the night before, and I snagged my cherry almond shampoo and the rest of my toiletries. After I quickly made my bed, I took my shower and true to her word, when I came out of the bathroom Kyrie was back. Jamie was with her, and I greeted her good morning as I inspected the breakfast tray that Kyrie brought me. Veggie omelet, bacon, hash browns made with sweet potatoes, and some fresh melon with berries. She had even remembered how I make my coffee; two sugars and one creamer. Smiling at Kyrie in thanks, I remarked, “You really do know what I like. Thanks so much for bringing me breakfast. I’m not much use to anyone on an empty stomach and I get
really
cranky when I’m hungry.

“We know,” Jamie and Kyrie said in unison before grinning at each other in amusement. I sat on the edge of my bed and started tackling my food with a happy sigh. Glancing at Jamie, I noticed that she had her “human eye” contacts back in place. As I chewed my food I noticed that she was quietly inspecting me from head to toe, and I suddenly felt guilty at what I was wearing. I quickly swallowed the mouthful of omelet I was scarfing down and said defensively, “I know this is a little too much, but I missed my old clothes, not to mention all of my shoes. I like dressing like a woman. I hope you guys don’t mind?”

Shaking her head, she commented, “I guess you missed your cosmetics too, eh?” I felt my cheeks warm a little as Jamie obviously noticed my primping. In the bathroom, I had discovered my cosmetics bag and couldn’t resist a little powder and blush. Before I knew it, I had gone overboard and lightly applied eye-shadow, before brushing mascara on my lashes. I came across my favorite cherry lip gloss and applied that as well. It had been a long time since I had worn makeup and I started to feel a little self-conscious as Jamie kept staring at me. I didn’t know what she was thinking.

Kyrie on the other hand, was very vocal as she inspected me. “Wow!! Gorgeous! You look like a fashion model!”

Winking at me, Jamie said, “You know how we were teasing Gideon about how he’s famous around here for his abs?” I nodded my head. “Well, that’s
nothing
compared to how some of the guys feel about you. You’re going to break some hearts in this place, I just know it. Just try to let them down easy okay?” I snorted into my food, sure that Jamie was just making it up or taking a page from Sam’s book and being overly dramatic. Jamie just raised both of her eyebrows at me and said, “Seriously. I’m not kidding.”

Setting aside my empty tray, I grabbed my ice water and thirstily downed the whole glass before setting it aside with a sigh of contentment. The moment I finished breakfast, Kyrie popped to her feet and shifted from foot to foot as she beamed at me. “I have to go meet up with my unit now. I’ll see you later Teagan!” Rushing towards me as I sat perched on the end of my bed, she suddenly embraced me in a tight hug before whispering, “I’m glad you’re here.” Releasing me, she flashed me another dimpled smile before saying goodbye to Jamie. Grabbing my empty tray on the bed, she darted out the door so fast I didn’t get a chance to say, “See you later!”

The second the door closed, I stared at Jamie before I burst out laughing. “Okay, what is she? 4’11”? She’s so small and cute, but she has SO much energy for someone so tiny. I might start thinking of her as my little pet since she’s so eager to please me. I just want to pick her up, put her in my pocket, and carry her around everywhere I go.” Another laugh escaped as I shook my head at the situation. “And what’s up with the hug? I didn’t mind it, but I only met her like…half an hour ago.”

Jamie shared a laugh with me before explaining, “Well, like we said last night, Kyrie really is your biggest fan. You’re basically a celebrity in her eyes, and here you are in the flesh. In her room! You’re all she talks about. You’re her idol and she wants to be just like you. When she arrived to these barracks after Boot Camp, Kyrie was scared, depressed and withdrawn. She didn’t want to interact with anyone in her unit. She was afraid to trust anybody and it was a long time before she was finally able to smile.” A sad, distant look was on Jamie’s face as she reminisced on Kyrie’s arrival. Glancing at me, Jamie’s grin returned as she said, “Can you guess who brought Kyrie out of her shell?”

Scoffing at the notion that I somehow could’ve had anything to do with any positive changes in Kyrie, I played along and asked, “Who brought Kyrie around?”

“YOU did, goofy! You know Teagan, I have to admit that your humble quality is one of the things I like best about you. I’m not joking around when I tell you that you
did
have a profound impact on Kyrie in a positive way. One day we were sitting in the Mess Hall watching you on live cam, and it was the first time you stared right at the camera and waved at it. Kyrie giggled and said you were spunky. She began watching you closely after that, and commented to me that you never cried, or yelled, or argued back to Sergeant Ramsey. She knew, just like we did, how special you are. Sam and Gideon turned out the way they did because of
you
! Your unit is strong because of
you
! You’re different from everybody else in the project. Whether you’re aware of it or not, you are a natural leader. The other test subjects aren’t the only ones who have taken an interest in you; the other doctors, scientists, and nurses all like and admire you as well. You have the full respect of all the military staff here. With that said, don’t be alarmed or surprised if one of the staff approaches you for your opinion on something. We all value your input.”

Geez! Even though we were the only two in the room and there were no cameras inside the room, I still felt highly uncomfortable having Jamie singing my praises. I wasn’t really much of a blusher, but I felt my cheeks starting to heat up in embarrassment. Personally I still thought that she was over-exaggerating. Not wanting to seem ungrateful, I thanked her for her compliments and offered my help in any way I could.

“Just continue to be yourself Teagan, that’s all we want from you for now.”

I smiled crookedly at Jamie’s cryptic words.
Be myself.
Well
that
I could definitely do because that’s all I had ever done since I had arrived on the military base. As I sat there and fiddled with my ruby ring, I suddenly remembered that I meant to ask how they had gotten ahold of all my old belongings from Washington. Holding up my hand and pointing to my ring I demanded, “How is this possible? How did all my stuff end up here?”

“Aaahh, that’s due to Sergeant Ramsey’s quick thinking. It was easier to get ahold of the personal belongings of the test subjects who already lived independently away from their families. We fabricated a fake Will and Testament on your behalf, stating that you chose to donate all of your possessions to various charities. The government sold your car, and the money from that sale is being held here in a private account under your name. All of your savings from your old bank account, including the funds you received after you sold your parents’ house have all been transferred here to your new account. There’s a little over $245k in your savings. Your money is completely at your disposal. If you want new sneakers or exercise gear, go ahead. You’ve earned the right to buy whatever you want with your money.”

Jamie’s smile matched mine as I started daydreaming about things that might make my life here more comfortable. I gasped loudly as a thrill of excitement came over me. Bouncing a little on my bed, I clasped both hands tightly beneath my chin as if I were praying while I stared at Jamie with hope. Chuckling at me she asked, “Okay, what do you want?” I was glad in that instant that she could read my facial expressions so well. Still, I was afraid to ask for what I really wanted for fear of getting denied.

Hesitantly I asked, “Can I have a puppy? Please, please, please?” I pooched out my lower lip in a pout while blinking my eyes at her in my best puppy-dog expression. I even threw in a couple of whimpers and whines for good measure. It was kind of hard maintaining that expression on my face, but I gave it my best shot. The urge to laugh was strong. I truly wanted to have a
real
pet back in my life though. As great as Kyrie was, she just wouldn’t do. The last family dog we had passed away a year after the passing of my last grandfather. Ace was a German Shepard and he had been a
great
dog. I missed having a furry, four-legged buddy to snuggle with. Ace was also a great companion when I went jogging, although I didn’t really have a choice because my parents insisted he be present for my protection. In the Pacific Northwest it tended to get dark around 4-5pm during the winter months, and I did feel comforted having Ace with me when I was out after sunset.

The look on Jamie’s face was comical; half amused and half surprised, and her mouth was hanging open on a slant as she stared hard at me. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out
what
that look meant. Disappointed, I asked, “You didn’t answer me yet. Does that mean it’s a “no”?”

“No, it’s not a “no”. You just always take me by surprise Teagan. That was the last thing I expected you to ask for. I was expecting you to ask if you could use your money to buy Sam and Gideon new wardrobes or something along that line.”

“Well that would be nice too. I’d love to help the guys out in that department. I already helped with their hair so the makeovers wouldn’t be complete without new clothes and shoes. That would actually be pretty fun.” I brightened over the concept of helping the guys buy new wardrobes.

“You may help them with their clothes shopping but you don’t need to worry about using your own money. Sam’s parents spent $10k on his funeral, so that money went straight into his military spending account. The funeral home that Sam’s family chose is actually owned by a guy who’s retired ex-military. Sergeant Ramsey approached him and explained the situation, and once he heard
why
Sam tried to kill himself, he was very sympathetic and agreed to waive all fees. He was also enraged over the type of treatment that Sam had to suffer both at school and at home.” Hmm… it was interesting to hear the various ways the government found to siphon money here and there, into our private accounts.
Sneaky!

“Gideon is better off financially than Sam. In most states, the legal age for creating a Will and Testament is 18 years old. Since Gideon is 19, we were able to retrieve all of his funds and redirect it here to his private account. Apparently, Gideon had a grandmother who left him over $600k when she died last year. At the time, Gideon was already 18 so it was deposited directly into his savings account. I believe that having the money in his possession was stressful for him, because he was the
only
member of his family to receive an inheritance. Apparently, the grandmother favored Gideon and only him. You’ll hear his story when he’s ready to talk about it, but we were able to uncover bits and pieces of his past life. There were problems within his family. Anyhow, Sergeant Ramsey created a falsified Will and Testament on Gideon’s behalf so that his family could not access his money. I’m sure Gideon will be shocked when he finds out he has full possession of his money. None of his former clothes fit him any longer, but we were able to save a few of his prized possessions. We delivered his old comic book collection to his room, along with his guitar and his sketch pads and colored pencils.”

“Wow! Gideon’s stinkin’ rich!” I laughed happily. “I think it’s
so
awesome that you seized our personal belongings. You have no idea how much it means to me to have all of my jewelry back. All these precious gemstones are real, and they have a lot of sentimental value since each piece came from either my grandmothers or my mom. A few of the necklaces have been passed down three generations to me. For that alone, I consider them priceless. I never thought I’d see them again.” Impulsively, I stood up and leaned over to give Jamie a big hug of gratitude. “I can’t even begin to tell you how gratifying it is being in a good pair of jeans again. I missed all of my old clothes. I’m definitely going to buy new exercise gear. The sweatpants I’ve been wearing do absolutely nothing for my figure,” I teased.

Jamie sighed as she said, “That means Kyrie will be buying new workout wear too then. I did point out that you’re her idol. Didn’t you notice what she was wearing earlier?” I laughed ruefully as I realized that she was dressed like a miniature version of me; sweatpants and tank top. I didn’t think of it at the time though. I just assumed what I wore was what all the girls here wore.

Smoothing out the fabric of my grey top, I asked, “Are you sure that I’m okay wearing these clothes for today? Am I expected to put in gym time today with the others?”