The Suitor List (21 page)

But it was impossible.

Richard?

How could Augusta have fallen in love with Richard
Wilbanks? He was to marry Olivia Skeffington.

How utterly stupid she was. How could this have
happened?

She had never wanted to fall in love with him. Richard
had never attempted to engage her feelings. He probably
thought no more of her than his own sister.

Augusta's breath caught in her throat as the rush of
emotions threatened to overtake her. Tears of sorrow
stung at her eyes.

What was she going to do? Augusta had to attend the
dinner tonight with both of them present. How could
she face him knowing what she knew now, feeling
what she now knew was love for her dear, dear friend
Richard?

Augusta swiped the tears from her eyes and drew in a
steadying breath. She had to bury her feelings and wish
him well, both him and Miss Skeffington.

"Gusta?"

Augusta spun around at the sound of Richard's voice.

"Are you all right?" Standing under the ivied arch, he
stared at her.

Why was he here? His gaze felt uncomfortable and intrusive. She did not want him near her, and above all,
she did not want him to know she'd been crying.

"I was concerned about you," he said timidly.

"Concerned?" Had he known she'd just turned Sir
Samuel down? Did he come to roast her about being
unmarried, after all those gentlemen who had come
from Town to court her? "Go ahead and laugh."

"Why should I laugh?"

"I've sent off most of the suitors and I'm destined to
be alone." She felt contrary and especially did not want
him feeling sorry for her. Augusta did not need his pity.
"I shan't have anyone"

"I'm still here" He stared at her and she gazed back
at him.

Something in his demeanor was decidedly different.
Had she imagined it? Augusta felt unable to hang on to
the resentment of her situation. She had so chided herself before he'd arrived.

"Thank you, Richard. I, too, value your friendship." It
really did not matter if he married Miss Skeffington.
Augusta knew he would always be her cherished friend.
Nothing would change that. Not age, time, distance, nor
marital status.

"I take it you've refused Sir Samuel"

"Yes, I did." Augusta raised her chin a bit higher and
did not want to cry in front of him. Why did she think
she always had to appear brave? "And I expect it will
not be long before he takes his leave"

"I am glad they've all gone," he confessed. "I was
certain from the start that you'd have none of them"

"Do not think you can-" Her reply died in her throat.
"How could you-? All of them are gone?" Augusta blinked twice before regarding him with her eyes
wide.

"I see that I have caught you by surprise for once"
He smiled at her confusion. "Livy has handed me the
mitten."

"Olivia Skeffington's cried off?" Augusta gasped.
"What on Earth have you done to-"

"Now that's the Gusta I know, blaming me right off,
before any of the facts are known."

"Well, she's done so for some reason, and if you
haven't given her cause to rid herself of you, then what?"

"Lord William Felgate"

Augusta stared at him absolutely stunned and quite
speechless.

I don't mind really, ours was an arranged affair. She's
all right. Livy, that is." He glanced down at the stone
bench and continued. "We suited well enough, but now
that she's fallen in love with Lord William, she's much
better off. Surely you must see?"

Richard sounded so calm, not as if his heart had been
shattered at all. Augusta thought, however, that it must
have been. He had always been a very sensitive boy, who
had grown into a sensitive man. Could he stand there and
tell her that his broken engagement did not matter to
him?

"Our fathers won't be completely disappointed, mind
you. They wanted our families connected, and Emily and
Lawrence seem to have worked the whole thing behind our backs. They're to be married."

"Yes, Em and Mr. Skeffington" Come to think of it,
Augusta hadn't ever remembered them dancing together.
How they had managed to find one another she did not know. "Em told me herself. But what of Miss Skeffington? How could she form an attachment with someone
else while she was engaged to you?"

"Apparently she felt my affection had been in question. She felt completely justified in diverting her interest from me."

"You?" Augusta could not imagine. Honest, faithful
Richard would not look at any other woman while betrothed to Miss Skeffington. If Miss Skeffington had noticed his roving eyes, why hadn't Augusta? "Who is she?"

She might have been able to accept his marriage
arrangement. It had existed for years, and he was to be
wed to someone he did not truly love. But to now hear
of someone new that Richard had been attracted to,
when all along she felt ...

Augusta was almost afraid to hear the truth. She did
not wish to hear that Richard could have true affection
for some other female, other than his fiancee, other than
herself.

"To be honest. ." Richard cleared his throat, and the
corner of his mouth lifted in a half-smile. "Livy did not
like the way you and I laughed when we were together."

"That is very strange. We have known one another
forever. I do not see how she could object"

"She did not like how comfortable we were when we
spoke or the way we looked at one another" The closer
he moved to Augusta, the softer his voice became. "Livy
said we stared at one another as if there was longing."

"I certainly did not long for you," Augusta objected
most wholeheartedly. At least she did not think she had
previously, not before she realized she'd harbored an
unexpected affection for him.

"Apparently you did, according to her." Richard
stared at Augusta without blinking, without smiling. "I
must confess, I did, secretly, long for you. I had no idea
it was obvious."

Augusta's "oh" escaped on a sigh.

"So tell me, Gusta, can what Miss Skeffington said
be true?" He stepped close and drew her near with one
arm. "Is it possible that you could love me?"

Augusta stared into his eyes. If she said the wrong
thing, it might drive Richard away. Above all, she did
not wish to lose him.

It wasn't because she did not want to be alone or he
might be her last chance to have a husband. Augusta did
not wish to lose Richard because she truly loved him
completely. She somehow must have always known,
deep inside, they should be together.

"I do love you, Richard," Augusta confessed, fearing
those might be the words that would cause him to flee.
"I only realized it moments before you arrived. I feel so
foolish. How could I not have known?"

"You could not be a bigger simpleton than I. I had no
idea until Miss Skeffington so kindly informed me of
the depth of my affection." Richard's smile grew across
his face, beaming with the joy Augusta felt emerging
from her soul. "What manner of dolt am I not to realize
I have been in love for all these many months, nay, years
perhaps?"

"Now what are we to do?" Augusta could do nothing
else but smile at him.

"I will seek out your father and ask if I will be allowed to pay my addresses. I only hope he will not turn
me away"

"I should not think so" Augusta thought of how
much he had changed. He did not resemble the neighboring landowner's son, as he now looked the part of a
proper suitor in his tailored jacket, breeches, and top
boots. "I believe he will approve and place you at my
mercy for the final decision."

"How can you be so sure?" Richard tugged at his
vest and smoothed the crease in his sleeve as if nervous. "If my fate lies in your hands, I need not worry.
You are as devoted to me as I am to you."

"You might be a bit overconfident of my affection.
You have not even tried to kiss me yet." She played at
seeming aloof and could not stop herself from teasing him. "How should I know that you truly care for
me?"

"I've only just discovered I'd been in love with you. I
had not even thought about kissing you yet," he remarked
in near shock, but made to move toward her. Augusta
hoped it was for the kiss she desperately desired.

"If you do not, you may lose me," she told him, hoping it would encourage him to act.

"I shan't want that to happen, not after everything
we've just gone through" Richard hesitated. Perhaps he
felt a bit nervous, unsure of how he should proceed.

"Take my hand" Augusta reached out for him, as she
had so many times, but found something concealed in
his fist. "What is this you have?"

Richard opened his hand, revealing crumpled paper.
"Moo's list of your suitors." He unfolded and smoothed
it as best he could.

Augusta glimpsed a column of names with a line
through all but one. She felt not exactly guilty, but saddened that she had found that many gentlemen unsuitable.

"It was a silly idea, especially since I was right here
all along." Richard proceeded to tear it in half and in
half again, continuing until only tiny bits remained.

He drew Augusta nearer and whispered her name ever
so softly. She gazed into his eyes and knew what was to
come next. Eager to share their first intimate embrace,
Augusta drew in a breath and waited. This was everything she had wished for: the familiarity, the warm affection, the closeness.

"We won't be needing this." With a single motion, he
threw the handful of small pieces straight into the air.

Little white pieces, turning in the sunlight, looking
very much like snow, hovered above their heads. Augusta
giggled and Richard laughed.

Somehow it felt quite liberating, as if those gentlemen
had been set free while she stood here with the only man
she'd ever loved ... Richard.

Richard pressed his lips to hers in a delicate, soft,
loving manner, kissing her among the pieces of paper
fluttering down around them. Augusta leaned into him,
savoring their first kiss, and looked forward to the many
they would share in the years to come when they would
finally be man and wife.