The Sun Will Shine Tomorrow (22 page)

Sylvia was speaking. ‘But we like any dance hall, Mrs Neill. They’re usually aye packed with eligible men and there’s a lot of Polish men about.’

I could see Granny was regretting her earlier enthusiasm for my night out but I had no option but to make my way towards Lochee Road and the Locarno Dance Hall. I tried hard to match Sylvia and Amy’s high spirits but I felt I had more in common with Edith who was always the quiet one in this trio.

Amy laughed as we headed along the road. ‘We’ll find you a click tonight, Ann. The place will be heaving with servicemen. You’ll be able to take your pick.’

Wonderful, I thought sourly, but I smiled at her. After all, they were only trying to make me enjoy my life more. No doubt they had heard about Greg and I breaking up – not that it was common knowledge but young girls like themselves usually heard all the news through the local gossips.

We soon reached the Locarno and I was a bit disappointed by its outward appearance. There was nothing flashy about it but then we still had the blackout restrictions which meant all buildings looked the same in the dark. Inside, however, was another matter. The interior was full of people, the noise was deafening and there was the acrid smell of cigarette smoke.

Amy laughed. ‘I see some folk have managed to get cigarettes, Sylvia. Maybe we can cadge some from the soldiers.’

She saw the look on my face and laughed. ‘Just kidding, Ann.’

Edith whispered in my ear, ‘That’s what she says.’

We deposited our coats and scarves in the cloakroom. Amy took out her small powder compact and put a thick layer of creamy-coloured powder all over her face. She had good skin and I felt this addition was unnecessary but it made her feel grown up, she said. Pleased with this adornment she then dabbed some Californian Poppy scent behind her ears and handed the small bottle to Sylvia who did the same.

They then handed the bottle to me. ‘Try some of this, Ann. It’s supposed to make you irresistible to men. They seemingly love its smell.’

Amy laughed loudly and inspected her face in the mirror. She took out a small case of black mascara and spat on the strip of black. She then began to lather it on to her lashes. I dreaded her giving me some of this but she snapped it shut and placed it in her handbag. I could only think she was almost out of her mascara and wanted to keep it for as long as possible.

With both girls now pleased with their faces, we emerged into the dance hall. The cigarette smoke was really thick in there and blue spirals of smoke danced upwards towards the ceiling, looking slightly fluorescent in the coloured lights.

The band was loud and the floor was crowded. Sylvia gripped my arm and Edith followed. ‘Come on, let’s stand over there.’ She indicated a part of the floor that seemed to hold a hundred dancers.

I felt myself being propelled by the throng of humanity. There was a strange mixture of smells – talcum powder, cheap scent and carbolic soap all vying to be chief aroma.

I tried to get into the spirit of the evening but there were just too many people in this small arena and the smoke was making my eyes sting. I knew I had to escape but how? Then I saw two ruddy-cheeked men coming towards us and Sylvia and Amy gave a squeal of delight.

‘It’s Vlad and Slav,’ said Amy, turning towards me. ‘That’s not their names but that’s what we call them. They’re Polish and such a good laugh.’

Looking at their round, ruddy-cheeked faces, I didn’t doubt it but a good laugh was a million miles away from my thoughts and I wondered if I would ever laugh again.

As the two girls went off to dance with their Polish friends, I squeezed through the crowd and went to the cloakroom. As I retrieved my coat, the attendant gave me a puzzled look but said nothing.

Outside, I took in large breaths of cold fresh air. Suddenly I was aware that someone was standing beside me and a feeling of panic gripped me. I felt my throat constrict like someone had grabbed me in a throttle-hold. Was it one of the ruddy-faced men? To my relief, I saw it was Edith. She was wearing her coat as well.

‘Oh, Edith, there’s no need to come outside with me. It was just the smoke – I couldn’t stand it.’

She tucked her arm in mine. ‘It’s not just that, Ann, is it? You still miss your friend, Greg.’

I thought how perceptive she was. ‘Yes, I do, Edith. It’s not that I’ve anything against the dance hall and maybe, in a few months when I get over him, I’ll enjoy coming here – but not tonight.’

She laughed. ‘Och, I don’t think so, Ann. I’ve never enjoyed coming here – ever! It’s just that Sylvia and Amy enjoy it so much that I come along with them. But they’re both sociable girls and they love to laugh and dance and sing and, to be honest, I envy them but it’s not me. I don’t think I’ll be coming back either and I’ve told them. They did say they understood but Vlad and Slav hurried them on to the dance floor again so they’ve probably forgotten all about us …’ She smiled. ‘With a bit of luck!’

We walked back in companionable silence until we reached the tram stop in Tay Street. I stood with Edith until we saw the tram coming around the curve from Westport.

‘We’ll be a couple of old maids at this rate, Edith, if we don’t go out and enjoy ourselves. Granny always said no one ever got a man by sitting at the fire knitting.’

‘At least we’re true to our natures, Ann – you and me. And what’s wrong with knitting? I love to knit.’

She waved from the misted-up windows and I slowly retraced my steps to the Overgate. Then I thought of all the explanations I would have to give Granny and Lily if I went home at this time so I set off for Roseangle.

It was a crisp, clear night but very cold. The stars were so bright that I felt I could reach up and touch them. It wasn’t as dark as I first thought. Some subdued lights were now being allowed on the tramcars, now that the threat of invasion was over. The entrance to the close, however, was in total darkness. I was halfway up the stairs when a dark shape loomed down on me.

Without thinking, I gave a muffled scream and a deep masculine voice said, ‘Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten to you, lass. I’m looking for Wullie Burnett’s house. Do you know where he lives?’

My voice came out in a terrified squeak which made me feel ashamed of myself. ‘No, I don’t know him – sorry.’

‘I’ll try the next close and sorry again for frightening you.’ Then he was gone.

I reached the flat but didn’t pull the curtains. The river glinted like a silver ribbon and the silence was therapeutic after the clamorous noises of the Locarno and the terror of the last few moments.

This was Ma Ryan’s fault, I thought grimly. Her warning of danger had made me terrified of every little fright – her insistence to watch my step. Then I began to worry again. Where had the man come from? Had he shone a torch on all the nameplates in order to search for his friend? Or was his mission a criminal one? A burglar or worse?

I hurried to the door but the lock was fully in place. I glanced out of the window and saw him walking up the street with another man. I breathed a sigh of relief. He had found Wullie Burnett by the look of it.

My heart stopped thudding and I sat looking at the river, my mind reviewing the night’s events. Why was I such a strange and lonely person? Most women would have given a lot to have a good night out with their friends. For months, I had tried so hard to put all thoughts of Greg from my mind but, on this beautiful cold night, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. He was probably married by now and good luck to him, I thought bitterly.

Memories from past years invaded my mind and I recalled how happy I had been. But had he been happy? Obviously not. Although, I knew now that it couldn’t have been easy for him to try and inhabit my crowded and worried world. A wave of self-pity engulfed me and I burst into a flood of tears, laying my head in my arms and completely shutting out the view of the river.

Much later, I made my way back to the Overgate. I had bathed my red puffy eyes in cold water before leaving the flat but although Granny noticed them she didn’t say a word.

‘Oh, my eyes are all red from the smoke at the dancing, Granny, but I really enjoyed myself. What a good laugh we all had.’

Granny smiled and said nothing but I knew she didn’t believe me. She wasn’t daft.

The war was almost over. Joe kept us informed every day, much to Connie’s amusement. ‘That man thinks we never read the newspapers,’ she said one day.

‘Aye, the turning point was beating the Jerries at the Battle of the Bulge. Now the Allies have crossed the Rhine and are almost in Berlin. But the Russians are hoping to take the city before the Allies.’

This was wonderful news and we all rejoiced in it. Peace was at last being predicted for the not-so-distant future. Maddie was almost beside herself with joy at the thought of Danny’s home-coming and we were all looking forward to welcoming him home again after all these years.

One worry lay on my horizon – the house at Roseangle. Now that the war was almost over, I knew Maddie and Danny would resume their life in their own home which meant Lily and I had some serious house-hunting to do. It wasn’t an easy task as there seemed to be no empty houses in the city. Granny said we could stay with her and, although I had mentally rejected this offer, it now looked as if we would have to move to the Overgate.

Even Connie, who was often a great source of help on lots of things, couldn’t help on this big issue. ‘It must be because of all the folk that have been bombed out of their houses in other parts of the country, Ann. I heard it could be as much as a million homes that have been damaged or destroyed and maybe they’ve all moved to places with little damage.’

This was disheartening news and it didn’t bode well for the future – not only for us but for all the poor people with no homes left. In fact, the carnage all over Europe was devastating and it seemed as if the entire world had been destroyed. Pictures of people with young children pouring out of bombed cities made my heart ache and I had to stop looking at them.

Then Mussolini along with his mistress, Clara Petacci, was shot by the Italian partisans. Both were hung up by their heels in front of a jeering crowd.

Joe was beside himself with this story. ‘I see Mussolini has been shot. It’s the best thing that could have happened to him, the heel-clicking bugger.’ He stopped and gazed at Connie. ‘Mind you, they didn’t have to kill his mistress.’

To be honest, we were all becoming inured to all the horrors unfolding before our eyes but, a few days later, Joe almost fell into the shop.

‘Hitler’s shot himself in his bunker in Berlin.’ Joe seemed to know all about it – almost as if he had been a fly on that same bunker wall. ‘Aye, Eva Braun took poison but Hitler shot himself. Good riddance to him I say.’ He stopped to light his cigarette. ‘And all the poor wee Goebbels kids were also poisoned by their parents. What a dreadful thing to do.’

Joe had tears in his eyes when he said this and Connie and I were almost crying as well. What other horrors lay ahead of the Allied world? I wondered.

Then it was all over – at least in Europe. The Far Eastern forces were still fighting the Japanese forces but, here at home, we had peace at last.

Joe, as usual, was still talking about the carnage. ‘Did you see yon awfy pictures of the concentration camps, Connie? Auschwitz and Belsen?’ He shook his head in dismay. ‘How anybody could do that to another human being is beyond me. The papers are saying that millions of Jews and other folk have been killed in the gas chambers.’ He wiped his eyes and looked so sad. ‘I saw some awfy sights in the trenches during the Great War but this is something far more evil.’

Connie and I agreed with him. We had both been shocked, as had countless others, by the revelations about the concentration camps and, in fact, there were quite a lot of nights when I couldn’t go to sleep with the images of these atrocities still fresh in my mind.

Lily and I spent the first week of peacetime unwrapping Maddie and Danny’s wedding gifts from their dark imprisonment in the large trunk which had resided in the lobby cupboard for almost five years. We then spent an energetic couple of hours cleaning the flat and it now shone with all the hard work and furniture polish. We then placed all the ornaments in their original positions and put all the crystal glasses and expensive figurines back into the display cabinet.

I remade the bed with Maddie’s own bedclothes, gathered all the bed linen and towels and stuffed them into the wicker basket, all ready for the wash-house in the morning. Our small pram lay at the end of the close, in preparation for its job of holding the basket on its way to the wash-house.

For the last time, Lily and I gazed out the window. The river was bathed in sunshine. Lights glinted from its dappled surface and I knew it was a scene I would never forget, no matter where I lived – now or in the future.

Lily was quiet as she stood beside me and when I looked at her I was dismayed to see her crying. I put an arm around her shoulder and realised with a pang that she was almost as tall as myself. ‘We’ll come back and see Maddie and Danny. We can aye look at the river then.’

She wiped her face. ‘But it’ll not be the same, Ann. It’ll not be like when we were living here and had the river all to ourselves. It’ll not be the same.’

I knew what she meant but it wasn’t our house. Maddie had been very generous in letting us stay so long, especially as it was rent-free but it was now time for her and Danny to return.

‘Come on, Lily – time to say cheerio to it.’

Although I had tried to be practical, I also had a lump in my throat at the thought of saying goodbye to this lovely flat.

Lily wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and gazed wistfully at the room. She whispered, ‘Cheerio, Roseangle. Cheerio, River. I’ll aye remember you.’

On that sad note we carried the washing downstairs and placed it on our pram. Lily pushed it up the slight slope to the Perth Road and we made our way to the Overgate in silence.

Granny had made our tea and Lily cheered up. The wireless was playing lively music interspersed with good news.