The Sunfire (40 page)

Both men fell silent for a moment in mutually shared grief.

“However it is not their duty I call into question,” the
Emperor continued on sharply.

Jon took a deep breath, knowing what was about to come. He
had been preparing for this argument for years, but even now his excuses
sounded weak to him, pitiful.

“Did you not swear the same oath? Did you not swear you
would protect my daughter and I above all else? Did you not promise to always
stand at our side? To protect us, even if it cost you your very life.”

“I did, my Lord,” Jon replied truthfully.

“Then why do I find that you, my best, my most loyal of
subjects, has abandoned his oath? Has so easily discarded your duty, your most
sacred of responsibilities,” the Emperors voice grew in volume, and anger. “I
spent five years on that accursed planet, incarcerated, tortured, fighting to
keep my sanity. Yet the only thing that kept me sane was the knowledge my
daughter was safe. That you, my greatest warrior, would always be by her side.
Defending her and protecting her. Keeping her safe. For I knew whatever they
did to me, they could not truly hurt me, as what was most precious to me was
safe.”

“My Lord
—
” Jon tried to explain.

“I have not finished,” the Emperor roared, interrupting him.
“Then can you imagine my surprise, my shock, when my daughter, that which is
most important to me, is cast down at my feet. In the grasp of my mortal enemy,
the very person who imprisoned me, who tortured me. Imagine my disbelief, at
hearing from my very own daughter how you deserted her. How you abandoned your
duty for the arms of another woman.”

“I never abandoned her,” Jon refuted, his voice also
increasing in pitch. “I went looking for Harkov. I spent years crisscrossing
the Imperium, following up every sighting, every rumour. I avenged you, my
Lord. I repaid him for his treason, his ultimate betrayal. He finally paid for
it with his life.”

“But that was not your duty!” Marcus yelled, his finger
pointed accusingly at him. “Your duty was clear and my orders were explicit.
You were to stay with my daughter, to protect her and nothing more. You failed
me, but worse than that you failed in your duty. You betrayed everything my
Praetorians stood for. You did not honour their sacrifice but instead disgraced
it. They died protecting you and my daughter so you could carry on their duty.
So you could protect her in their absence, and what did you do? You betrayed
their trust.”

Jon meanwhile was trembling, still on his knees. Shaking
like a leaf. White-faced as each one of the Emperor’s barbs lashed out at him,
flaying him. What was even worse was that Jon believed him. For Jon had
tormented himself with each one of his accusations a hundred times before. Yet
at the same time, Jon could feel his own anger chipping away at the
self-control inside him. The pain he had buried deep inside, so long ago,
slowly started to bubble to the surface.

He
had betrayed his fellow Praetorians?
What about Marcus? Marcus had betrayed them in a far, far worse way.

As if in slow motion, Jon slowly drew the sword at his
waist. After all these years it had finally come down to this. By following
through with this action Jon knew he and Sofia would never be together, but
there was no other way. Marcus would not accept any other price for his
actions. Therefore looking up at Marcus, with the sword firmly in his hand, Jon
prepared himself for what he was going to do next. Knowing that there was no
return, no turning back...

He reversed the sword, offering the hilt of the blade to his
master. “If I have failed you, then I accept whatever punishment you determine
is due.”

Marcus looked at the sword. Surprised, he reached forward
and grasping the hilt to draw the blade into his hands. Inspecting the
faultless blade, he turned back to Jon, still kneeling at his feet, head bowed,
accepting whatever punishment Marcus deemed suitable.

Even death.

“Why?” Marcus demanded angrily. “I need to know why before I
can decide your fate. Why did you hurt my daughter so? Why did you betray her
in the arms of another woman? Why did you abandon her? Look me in the eyes, my
Praetorian, for I will have the truth from you.” Marcus insisted, lowering the
blade of the sword underneath Jon’s jaw and using the flat side to force his
head up and look him in the eyes.

Jon looked up into the angry green eyes of a man he had come
to think of as a father. The same colour eyes he dreamed about every night. The
breath caught in his throat. How to explain his actions, when he did not even
understand them himself? How to explain all the hurt and pain? How could he
describe leaving Sofia had in many ways killed him. That for the past five
years he had not really been alive, but just passing time.
How to explain?

“I love her,” Jon replied earnestly. “I love your daughter
more than life itself. She is the first thing I think of when I wake and my
last thought before I fall asleep. She is my world, my very existence.” For a
moment Jon thought he heard a startled gasp, but when he looked closer it was
only into the Emperor’s astonished gaze.

Looking down upon this man, Marcus wondered what power he
had over him to completely disarm him so. For he had ordered Kings and Queens,
Senators, Warlords and Admirals with ease. Yet this man, unarmed and totally
defenceless in front of him seemed to constantly surprise him. For looking into
his eyes he could clearly see the truth of his words and his own expression
reflected back at him whenever he thought of his departed wife. “Why?” He
asked, no longer angry, only confused. “If you love her so, how could you have
done those things? To betray her in such a manner and then to abandon her?”

“I have never, ever betrayed your daughter,” Jon vowed
earnestly. “I would take that sword and plunge it through my own heart before I
could do such a thing. I swear it on my life,” Jon insisted. Catching the blade
from under his chin, grasping it firmly until he could feel blood seeping from
the palm of his hand. He pushed the sword lower, resting it over his chest,
next to his heart. “If you doubt the truth of my words then take my life.”

For the second time in the space of a few minutes Marcus was
dumbfounded, for again he saw the truth in Jon’s eyes. Yet what his daughter
had told him, she had seen with her own eyes. Marcus struggled to reconcile the
two stories, to not look aside for confirmation.

“My daughter saw you, she saw it with her own eyes. She told
me. She would not lie in this regard.” Marcus had seen the desolation in his
daughter’s face when she had told him, he knew she told the truth, but he could
also see the truth in Jon’s eyes. What was going on here? How could they both
be correct? He was determined to find out the truth once and for all.

“Your daughter saw exactly what I wanted her to see. She
would never have turned her back on me, never. Not if she had even the
slightest hint I still loved her. For your daughter is the most loyal, honest
and trusting person I have ever known. Therefore I showed her the one thing I
knew would erase any doubt, which would ensure she hated and despised me
forever. I made her think that I betrayed her with another woman.”

“But you didn’t?” Marcus pressed.

“Never.”

“But why? Why all the deceit and all of the lies?” Marcus
asked, confused.

“Because of you.” Jon finally looked up into the face of his
Emperor and allowed some of the pain and anger inside to leak into his
expression.

The Emperor took a few steps back in shock at the seething
anger that he felt directed at him.

“Because you poisoned what we had, with all your plans and
lies,” Jon laughed, but there was no humour in his voice, only hurt and pain.
“All your schemes to force us together, and in the end they did the complete
opposite. As while I loved Sofia more than life itself, I would not, could not,
destroy her memory of you. It was all she had left to remind herself of you.
Therefore I could never know her true feelings in this matter. Were they her
own? Her love freely given or was it just your lies and deceit that had so
ensnared her for so long she had come to believe it as the truth? The not
knowing would have destroyed us. It would have poisoned our love and torn us
apart. We could never be together with those lies hanging over us… and I
couldn’t stay.”

“Why not?” Marcus interrupted, already having an inkling of
the answer. “It was your duty to stay and protect her.”

Finally lowering his head in shame, Jon whispered quietly,
“I did everything in my power to protect her and make her safe, but I couldn’t
stay.”

“Why not?”

“Because I could not bear the pain of one day looking into
her eyes and seeing the love she once had for me directed at another. To watch
somebody else touch her in the way I dreamed, yet not being able to. To listen
to somebody else whispering the words of love into her ear I longed to speak.
To look upon her distended belly, round with somebody else’s child, knowing it
could never be mine.”

Tears were now running down his cheeks, the pain in his
words beyond anything any mortal should bear. “I couldn’t do that
.
I was just not strong enough. I would have killed anybody who even tried
to touch her. What sort of life would that have been for her? To be constantly
alone because the one person who loved her could never have her. So I protected
her as best as I could and left. I fled to the most distant place in the
Imperium from her I could find. Then I spent the rest of my years, every waking
moment imagining her lying in the arms of another, while every minute I closed
my eyes I held her in my arms.”

Taking a deep shuddering breath, Jon once again looked up
and in a firm voice concluded. “Compared to that pain your threats are
meaningless to me. There is nothing you could do to me or say to me that could
possibly come close. Take my life for betraying you and your daughter. It would
be a blessing, to put me out of this agony.”

“Please,” Jon begged him. “I couldn’t do it before, not with
my sworn oath to you. I swore I would protect you and your daughter with my
life, for as long as I live. But I cannot do this anymore, I cannot continue
living like this. Release me from my oath so I can escape this torment, that I
can end this purgatory.”

Marcus’s heart went out to the young man, who had sacrificed
so much for his family, only for Marcus’ own plans, his only real wish in life,
for his daughter to be safe and happy, to have caused so much anguish.
Therefore it was only reluctantly he shook his head, taking a step backwards.
“I am sorry Commander but it’s beyond my power to grant you that wish.”

Jon just lowered his head and sobbed helplessly.

“For you did not give that oath to me, but another.
Therefore it’s up to her to decide your fate,” Marcus said, finally looking
aside.

Confused at what he was talking about Jon looked up once
again. Then it came to him. He had sworn that oath, on his very life, almost a
decade ago
—
to Sofia. Jon stared in complete shock as she
stepped out of the shadows of the room. Like him she had tears streaming down
her cheeks. Her eyes were red and puffy but Jon didn’t think he had ever seen
her look more beautiful. “Sofia?” He asked hesitantly, looking between father
and daughter. “How long have you been standing there?”

“Since you arrived,” Sofia cried. “Jon, why didn’t you say
anything to me? Why this
—
” She waved her hands around,
unable to find a word to describe the mess they had made of their lives.

“Charade?” Jon finished for her.

Sofia just nodded.

“I had no way to tell you,” Jon explained in despair. “If I
had tried to explain, you would have insisted on knowing why we could never be
together. You are so tenacious,” Jon laughed. “It’s one of the things I love
about you, but eventually you would have realised the truth.” Looking up at her
standing in front of him, next to her father he explained. “I could never let
you find out the truth. After your mother, your father was all that you had
left. I couldn’t take that away from you. I’m so sorry,” he cried.

“Anyway,” Marcus interrupted. “I think my job here is almost
done. Honestly you two, how did you ever manage without me?” He laughed. “Oh, I
almost forgot,” he added, passing the sword to Sofia. “I think this belongs to
you. As I seem to remember Jon swore an oath on his life to you that he would
keep you safe. I just got whatever was left of his time. Anyway I’ll leave it
up to you to decide his fate now.” Looking thoughtfully between the two of them
he added. “Perhaps it’s now time for you two to exchange a different set of
vows.” With that cryptic remark he departed into another room, leaving them
alone, together.

Looking down at the blade in her hand, standing over the
broken man she had spent years agonising over, wondering if he returned her
feelings, and now she finally knew the truth. Sofia was at a loss what to say
next.

“There has never been anybody else,” she whispered to him,
unable to meet his gaze, instead running it along the length of his blade. “I
never wanted anybody else, only you. I will admit I went on some dates, mostly
to spite you, but they never went anywhere. I compared every person I ever met
to you, and found them all lacking. I never wanted anybody else.”

Jon opened his mouth to say something, but Sofia quickly
stepped forward, placing a finger on his lips to silence him.

“No, please let me finish; you have said enough, now it’s my
turn. I didn’t know what my father had done until Sejanus forced him to admit
it on Tartarus. I couldn’t believe he would ever do such a thing. That is
something he and I will need to work out in the years to come, but as for you.
I am sure of my feelings about you,” she said firmly.