The Surrogate (53 page)

“
Too late, you’re already ruined,” Jaime said, straight-faced. Nikolas poked his tongue out at him.

“
Well, if we have three days, let’s make the most of it,” Seve declared, kissing Nikolas’ forehead. “Come back to bed, Nikolas—I have a use for you.”

“
Why, most certainly, my lord Severin. Your wish is my command,” he said, tipping a sly wink at Jaime, who only smiled.

They would make this a
very
memorable three days, he vowed to himself.

~~~~~~~~

They had their three days, and crammed them full of affection and laughter and love-making—and Jaime, who had once thought he’d had his fill of sex, rediscovered his appetite and his enjoyment, as did Seve. The greatest gift Nikolas could give them was the freedom to enjoy their own bodies again, and not to feel ashamed or embarrassed at them or what had been done to them. Nikolas too, said that he had regained confidence, though it would be some time before he could consider sex with men other than them. Jaime silently hoped he would never need to, but they had no right to make demands of celibacy on him. There were compromises they all had to make, and that was one of them.

The day he left, Seve came to Hamer and met Jaime at the academy. Together they walked to Jaap Ekinze’s shop, and found Nikolas waiting, his pack neat and ready, while he was dressed in the bright blue and yellow livery of the Master of Hamer, whom he would represent on this journey.

The colours suited him, Jaime had to admit. “You look very fine,” Seve said, his voice cracking a little.

Nikolas nodded, and then, regardless of his father’s disapproving stare, he put his arms around Seve and kissed him, before doing the same to Jaime. “Four months,” he said quietly. “Not so long.”

“
Not four years, at least,” Jaime said, trying to sound nonchalant.

“
No. Father, we should go.”

In honour of the occasion, Jaap had arranged his little cart, and drove them all down to the docks in it. There a magnificent vessel, sent by the Master of Jiotiq to collect his son’s bride and her entourage, lay moored. Sailors and stevedores swarmed all over it, and it seemed a terrible confusion, though Jaime, from his one experience of sea travel, knew it was not.

“
Where’s Benot?” Jaap grumbled as Nikolas and the others climbed down. “He swore he’d be on the hour.” The main square clock had struck five as they had driven through.

“
There, Father. Benot! Over here!” Nikolas called.

A portly gentleman of Jaap’s age waddled over. “Oh, I thought you weren’t coming,” he said, wiping his florid face. “I was getting worried.”

“
You’re the one who’s late, Benot,” Jaap pointed out in a less than gracious manner. “Niko, you’d better hurry up and make sure this blessed thing is squared away.” The ship wouldn’t sail until it was full dark, four hours later, but Nikolas and Benot had to make sure all was well and properly working before Benot left the ship.

“
Yes. So I’ll say my farewell, Father.”

Jaap nodded. “Just behave, Nikolas. You’re representing the house of Ekinze, not just that of Guider.”

“
I will.”

The two men stared awkwardly at each other, then Nikolas quickly climbed up into the driving seat and embraced his father. Jaap’s arms seemed about to crush his son, but then he set him free, waved him off, then wiped quickly at his eyes. “Er...well, then...safe journey, Niko.”

“
With your blessing, Father?”

Jaap reached out and put his hand on Nikolas’ curly blond head, and murmured something too quietly for Jaime to hear. A brief moment for Nikolas to appreciate his father’s gesture, then a pat and a shove. “Go. Say goodbye to this pair, you know you need to.”

Nikolas climbed down, sent one quick smile at his father, then turned to Seve and Jaime, taking their hands in his. “I’ll come back.”

“
We’ll be waiting,” Seve said, his voice thick, and his eyes a little red.

“
And your blessings too?” Nikolas whispered. Seve just threw his arms around him and hugged him tight.

Jaime waited until Seve was done, and then held out his hand. “Come home to us,” he said. “For it will always be that.”

“
Aye,” Nikolas said, and then hugged him too. “Look after him as he’ll look after you,” he murmured in Jaime’s ear. “You’re both precious to me.”

A little longer in his arms, and then Jaime pushed him away. “Go play with your toy,” he said.

Nikolas grinned for show’s sake, pulled his pack out of the back of the cart, and then clapped an impatient Benot on the shoulder. “Let’s go, Master Benot,” he said cheerfully and the two men walked off together without a backwards glance.

Jaime, Seve and Jaap watched them go. There was an uncomfortable silence for a few moments, then Jaap cleared his throat. “Would you...like to have a drink with me?”

Jaime blinked. “Yes, sir,” he said politely. Seve smiled nervously. Jaime knew how he felt, but not for anything would he offend Nikolas’ father.

It wasn’t as difficult as Jaime thought it might be. All Jaap intended, after he’d stabled the pony and put the cart away, was for them to share a small glass of krir together in his small sitting room. He held himself very stiffly, as if he regretted the invitation, but he held his glass up. “To my son, and his safe return.”

“
To Nikolas,” Jaime said, lifting his own drink.

“
May he never leave again,” Seve murmured.

“
Aye,” Jaap said heavily. “This be the second time I’ve bid farewell to my boy. The first, he came back broken. He better not this time, or I’ll be looking for blood.”

“
Then why did you make the offer?” Seve asked, setting his glass down.

Jaap set his mouth hard, then swallowed more of his drink. “Because I can’t tie him to my shirttails, and neither can you. This is an opportunity for my boy. He could make a name for himself. My other sons, they’re steady and successful, but Nikolas was always unsettled. I think...he’s starting to settle down now. He’s found what can give him happiness. I want him to find what can give him a livelihood, if I can’t give him the other.” He knocked back the rest of the krir. “You two aren’t what his mother and I hoped for him.”

“
No, sir,” Jaime acknowledged. “But we won’t hold him back.”

“
You could.”

“
But we won’t,” Seve said. “However much we want to.”

Jaap nodded. “I’ll remind you of that, sirrah. Now, drink up and I can give you a lift home. Or would you rather walk?”

“
Walking’s fine, sir,” Jaime said. There was still plenty of light left, and it would put the man to the trouble of reharnessing his pony. He doubted Jaap wanted to prolong their company.

“
As you wish. I’ll uh...let you know if I have word from him.”

“
Our thanks, then. Seve, come on.”

They bought meat pasties for their supper in the city, and ate them as they walked slowly home. “He thinks we’re bad for Nikolas,” Seve said as they were passed by a small pony trap, racing along the dusty road.

“
We were. We’ll have to prove to him we’re not in the future. We may never convince him he’s wrong, but it would be easy to make him right.”

Seve handed him the water bottle after taking him a swig. “Then we won’t.”

The house seemed very quiet and sad without Nikolas. Seve spent a whole day just sitting in the garden, staring into space. Jaime was worried, but there wasn’t much to be done. Nikolas had gone. He promised to return. That was all they could count on.

But Seve didn’t let Nikolas’ departure send him back into depression, and even while he was still mourning the loss of Nikolas’ company, he was still able to respond to Jaime, and make love with him. After that first day had passed, it was as if he had suddenly pulled himself back together. He began to work in the garden again, and attend to the house, and when Jaime came back in the evenings, he found his lover calm and welcoming. Jaime was pleased that the good work Nikolas had done with Seve hadn’t been unravelled by his leaving.

It was a long, hot summer, and Jaime’s teaching duties (and pay, of course) were reduced while his students went back to work on family farms and businesses. He spent the extra free time not on his researches, but with Seve, learning the basics of the garden, and what he intended for the recovered plots. Together they spoke to Gerde, and Seve made plans to give over some of the ground to herbs for her supply. There was some discussion about expanding that next year. Seve at least didn’t reject the idea.

And in the evenings, after supper, Seve slowly rediscovered some of his love of books, and of learning. For the first time since they left the temple, he took the time to read through the papers Jaime had written during their captivity, and allowed Jaime to explain his current interests, and what was involved in his teaching. Discussions grew lively, and Jaime was quietly thrilled to see Seve’s fine mind once again being put to what it was so manifestly suited for. Seve even agreed that he would like to visit the academy library once the weather turned too cold for gardening. He was already walking to Hamer every week or so, and the journey became so ordinary, Jaime ceased to worry about how his lover would cope. Things weren’t the same as they had been before Seve had been chosen as the god incarnate—in so many ways, they were better than either of them had ever dreamed. Seve might never be a scholar again—but he would be happy, content and free to live as he chose. That was a far greater achievement.

They heard nothing from Nikolas, though as Jaap Ekinze gruffly told them, no news was probably good news, because if disaster had struck such an important group of travellers, the word would have got back to them speedily. Jaime got into the habit of dropping into the elder Ekinze’s shop every few days or so, sometimes with Seve bringing fresh produce from their garden, sometimes on his own. Jaap was never going to be a man of many words, and his suspicion of the evil Gidinians lingered, but he seemed to appreciate the connection with part of his son’s life, however painful or confusing, and Jaime welcomed the chance to learn more of Nikolas’ past as well.

Summer ended quietly, days cooling slightly, shortening gradually. Jaime’s students returned and he was once again back to five days a week teaching. Seve was busy preserving, drying and storing the produce from the garden and bartered meat, cheese and grain from the farm. Together with Jaap and his older sons, they attended a harvest feast in Hamer, and stayed overnight at Jaap’s house, sleeping in Nikolas’ bed. And every day was one day closer to Nikolas’ return, though no one was sure exactly when that would be.

Mid-autumn, and the weather began to get a lot colder and wetter, and Jaime, who hadn’t been in Hamer for this season, began to wish they lived closer to town, or at least owned a horse. It was Seve who suggested without prompting, that Jaime should spend wet evenings in town, and it was Jaap who offered a place for him to do just that. Jaime worried about leaving Seve alone in the house for too long, but it turned out, unnecessarily—because Seve’s growing friendship with Gerde and her family, meant he could turn up uninvited at the farm anytime he wanted, for supper, for company, and if he wanted, a bed for the night. As it happened, as often as not, he was content to stay in the house—he was no longer terrified of his own company. Jaime was very proud of how far he’d come in such a short space of time, but Seve had always been the stronger of the two of them.

For now, the weather was the greatest trial he had in his life. “Will this blasted rain ever stop?” Jaime muttered as he shook off his oilcloth cloak in the foyer.

Seve took it from him to hang up to dry—at least Jaime wouldn’t need it for the next two days, and the weather meant he could look forward to some quiet time with Seve in the warm, reading...and perhaps other things. “Good for the garden,” his lover said.

“
You
always
say that. What about what’s good for the people?”

Seve kissed his forehead and grinned. “Well, what’s good for the garden
is
good for the people. I’ve made that soup you like so much.”

“
With the herbed dumplings?”

“
With the herbed dumplings,” Seve assured him. “
And
apple cobbler with the rest of the cream. That’ll warm you up.”

Indeed it would, and though it had been thoroughly unpleasant and cold walking back from town, the thought of Seve’s hearty cooking was something to look forward to. Just walking in his own front door, being hit by savoury scented warmth, seeing Seve smiling and happy, made it all worth it. Every day, the sense of
home
only grew stronger, and Jaime had to wonder how he could have ever thought to leave this place—or Seve. Now that would never happen.