The Swarm Trilogy (52 page)

“I won’t,” Chase whispered back. His lips were close to my ear, too close. Our relationship was changing fast, but every time I thought of Bryden I found myself drifting away from Chase. I knew in my heart that mingling with the living was healthier than obsessing about the dead, but it didn’t make it easier to put my memories of Bryden to rest so soon.

Chase sauntered away. His back muscles rippled, even through the cape. I could see every inch of his strong body. A year ago, I would have found him irresistible. Now, well, now things were too complicated.

I spun on my heel, facing the opposite direction. Before I could take even one step toward the first cottage, a door opened. My mother walked out. Just like the last time, she was the first.

“Hello, Mary.” I stumbled a bit over her new name. I had never called her by her real name, but Mary seemed even stranger.

Her eyes narrowed. It was the same look she’d given me as I left a few days ago. She was suspicious of me.

“Hello.” She folded her arms in front of her chest. “We had a delivery yesterday. We were questioned about a visitor. I told them nothing. No one did. We want to know why you’re here.”

I was left speechless. I hadn’t expected her to be so blunt. In my mind, I’d pictured many visits before I trusted her enough to ask her questions. But now she thrust it all in front of me.

“We want to know how to get out of here too.” She grabbed my wrist. Her nails dug into my skin, leaving marks that wouldn’t fade quickly.

I winced as I twisted my wrist and yanked my arm to the side. Her grasp broken, I rubbed my tender skin, flashing her a dirty look. “If you want to get away so bad, why don’t you just walk into the forest and see what’s on the other side?”

Her arms hung slack at her sides. “We can’t. We’ve tried. But the closer we get to the edge of the clearing, our heads hurt. It’s like a hammering that won’t stop. One woman nearly died, but we pulled her back to the center. She fell into a coma and the messenger came and took her away. We never saw her again.”

I was incredulous. I knew their reasons for keeping these people here. It all made a lot of sense. But in some ways, it was worse than a dungeon because they had no idea what they’d done wrong. Being punished for something you couldn’t remember seemed beyond cruel.

If Eloh wanted me to seek out my mother, the person whose mind is clear, then maybe she didn’t agree with what had been done here. If Johna told the truth, and Reychel was the only one who communed with Eloh, then maybe Reychel knew more than she was willing to let on. Maybe she was taking her anger at her own situation out on these people.

I glanced to the edge of the clearing. Chase’s cape billowed in the breeze as he searched for any clues that would help us understand this place better. My mother’s eyes followed mine, but there wasn’t even a spark of recognition when they passed over Chase. She couldn’t see him and she probably thought I was only looking out toward the edge she’d just told me about.

“Who are you?” she asked. Her eyes bored into mine.

I said the first thing that came to my mind.

“I’m your daughter.”

Chapter Sixteen

My mother reached out, placing her hand on my shoulder. She pulled me into her embrace, giving me a hug. In the small time I’d known her, she hadn’t shown me one bit of affection, not even when she was still pretending she cared about me. Up until the moment she kidnapped me, I believed she held herself at a distance for the same reason I did – it was too soon.

The woman before me couldn’t wait to embrace her daughter, even though she didn’t know me. Against my better judgment, my heart swelled. So few people had ever cared about me. I’d always wondered what it would have been like to have a mother who loved me instead of an adoptive mother who wanted me to disappear.

“Will you come inside with me? We can talk more. I’d really like that.” She smiled. It seemed uncharacteristic, given everything I knew about her. Maybe severing did change her root personality. Or maybe she’d turned to evil because of a bad upbringing. With her memories gone, I’d never know. I could only judge what I saw in front of me now.

I glanced toward Chase. He had stopped walking the perimeter and was now staring at me. With my mother’s arm around my shoulder, I motioned with my head toward the cottage. It was subtle, but enough so Chase understood. He raised a hand in the air, palm facing me. I nodded slightly as I looked back at my mother.

He knew where I was going. He could help me if I needed it. But looking in her eyes, so wide and innocent, I couldn’t believe for one moment that she meant me any harm. It wasn’t like before when I’d been suspicious of her from the start.

She seemed different now. I couldn’t put my finger on exactly what it was, but I knew she wasn’t the same woman.

My mother removed her arm, guiding me with her hand on my back to the door of the cottage she’d emerged from. “Let’s sit down in here. We can talk.”

I walked in first. I would have been disappointed if I’d expected much. Two tiny beds, a crib, and a table and chairs were the only major pieces of furniture. A short three-shelf bookcase stood in the corner, a few books scattered across the shelves. A small jug and pitcher sat on the table, next to a stack of two plates.

Mags, who now went by Anne, sat on one of the beds, Trevin on her lap. Charles. I was never going to get used to these new names. I wasn’t sure I wanted to. But if the severing had been successful, none of them would know their old names. I had to keep up the ruse, no matter how much I was beginning to detest it.

“Please, sit.” My mother pointed to one of the chairs at the table. I sat, scooting the chair over so I could see both my mother and Mags. “You remember, Anne, yes?”

I nodded. “Yes, and her son, Charles.” It felt so strange to call them names that didn’t belong to them.

Mags nodded and Trevin cooed, holding his arms out to me.

“Do you mind if I hold him?” I asked.

Mags nodded. “Of course. It’s fine. He seems to have taken a liking to you.”

I reached out, scooping up Trevin under his armpits, and snuggling him close to my chest. Resting my nose on his head, I took in a deep breath. The scent of baby powder mingled with the sharp pine of the forest. It was at once familiar and disconcerting. He reached up and smacked me on the lips with his palm.

“Charles!” Mags squealed. “Be nice to the girl, now.”

“It’s okay,” I said, followed by a quick giggle. “He’s just a baby.”

Trevin cooed and spit up all over my leather vest. His name may have changed, but his gastric habits certainly hadn’t.

“I am so, so sorry.” Mags reached for a cloth, then dabbed my clothes.

I took the cloth from her with my free hand. “It’s okay. Really, it is. I don’t mind.” I didn’t. In fact, I loved it. Nothing said home to me like Trevin’s spittle. If I set him down on the floor, I wondered if he’d start crawling, or pulling up on the furniture. He’d already grown and changed so much.

“She says she’s my daughter.” I glanced up at my mother. She didn’t waste any time getting to the point.

Mags’ eyes widened. “Really? This is wonderful! Do you know me?” She glanced at Trevin on my lap. “Do you know Charles? Is that why he’s so comfortable with you? He won’t let anyone other than me hold him, but you walk in here and he’s so happy to see you.”

I kissed Trevin on the head. “I do. I know all three of you.”

“Did you recognize anyone else in the village?” my mother asked. She took a seat next to me at the table.

I shook my head. “I didn’t, sorry.”

“They don’t have much to do with us,” Mags said. “One morning, I woke up and I was in this cottage with Mary. Charles was sleeping in the crib with a note attached to the side of it.”

Mags scooted to the edge of the bed, pulled a small crate from under the bed, and opened it. Inside lay a few odds and ends, but she grabbed the note and handed it to me.

You are Anne. This is your son Charles. Welcome to your new home.

“I thought perhaps Mary had written it,” Mags continued. “But she said she’d woken up in a similar way days before. We’ve been trying to figure out who we are and where we came from, but no one here knows any more than we do.”

“You will tell us, won’t you?” my mother asked. Mags looked at me, her eyes silently pleading. Trevin squiggled on my lap, as if he had an opinion too. Though by his easy acceptance of me, I believed they had done nothing to him. Why would they? He was only a baby. No one remembered anything from that young.

So I told them. I sat for an indeterminable amount of time, explaining to Mags. To spare her pain, I left out the story of Trevin’s father. If I was right, it was the reason she’d asked to be severed in the first place. I had no intention of revisiting that pain with her now. I let her believe Trevin was the former king’s son. She gasped when she realized that meant she had been a queen. Her shoulders squared and she unconsciously reached up to smooth out her hair. The woman I’d known, the woman who was my best friend, was slowly coming back to me.

When I finished, she took Trevin from my lap, holding him close to her chest. Then she stretched out her arms, looking him square in the eyes. “You have two older brothers. Daniel and Michael. We will not forget them again, will we?”

Trevin’s answer was to spit up all over his shirt. “I think that means he agrees with me,” Mags said with a laugh. “I need to feed him now, so I’ll head over to the kitchen and get something soft for him. He doesn’t have many teeth yet, but I have a feeling they’re coming soon with the way he’s been sleeping. Do you want me to bring back anything for you, Mary?” My mother shook her head. Then Mags looked to me again. “I just realized, you haven’t told us your name yet.”

I hadn’t on purpose. “Not yet,” I said with a smile. Mags looked a little confused, but she shrugged her shoulders and left with Trevin.

The door closed softly behind her, leaving my mother and I alone. I glanced at her expressionless face. I tried not to shudder. Other than the day I’d stumbled upon the camp, the last time I’d seen her she had just killed Bryden. It was an accident, of course. She’d really been trying to kill me.

“I have a feeling we didn’t have the best relationship,” my mother said. Her voice chilled me, sending waves of ice through my veins.

I attempted to focus on the woman in front of me. Tried to remind myself that she wasn’t the same person who’d tried to kill me. All of that had been erased. She was starting over and I could afford her the courtesy of a second chance.

“We only met recently. You gave me up for adoption as a baby.” Where I’d been so willing to give Mags her life back, I wasn’t sure what to tell my mother. Even if she was the one who’s mind was clear, what was her role in it? I didn’t know what to do.

Panicked, I wished Chase had come in the cottage with me and stood invisible in the corner. My breath quickened as my heart pounded even harder. The magic inside me sparked to life, but I fought to keep it contained. There was no magic here and I couldn’t let her know about it.

“Your hair color is so unusual.” She reached out for my hair, wrapping one finger around a lock of it.

Out of instinct, I slapped her hand away. I didn’t want her to touch me. I stumbled up and out of the chair, knocking it over.

“I’m sorry,” I stammered.

“You act as if I killed someone you loved and you’re expecting me to do it to you.”

My jaw dropped. How could she know? How could she hit on the one thing that was true?

“I have to leave,” I said, making my way toward the door.

“Anne will miss you,” my mother said, her voice reminding me more of a snake trying to hypnotize me with its gaze than a caring mother. “Come back soon.”

With my hand shaking, I fumbled for the doorknob. It clicked and the door swung open. I was surprised to find Chase standing not far outside the door, pacing. He stopped abruptly and ran to me. I wanted to jump into his waiting arms, but I couldn’t. It would look even stranger to my mother, who peeked out the window next to the door, if I embraced the empty air.

“We’re out of here,” I whispered to him.

Chase nodded and put his hand on my back. I wanted to grab his hand and use it to calm the shaking in my hands, but I couldn’t. Not yet. Not until we were safely away from her.

We ran around the back of another building. Only when Chase was sure she couldn’t see us anymore did I open a portal directly into my chambers. Chase and I jumped through and I closed it behind me. I fell into his arms, breaking out in tears.

“What did she say to you?” Chase stroked my hair and rested his chin on top of my head. I snuggled deeper into his embrace, afraid if I let go for only a second I’d spiral out of control.

“Nothing.” I mumbled it into his chest.

Chase pulled away from me.

“Don’t,” I begged. I pushed toward him, but his strong arms held me back.

“I need to know what she said to you and I need to know it right now.” I looked up through my tears. His face was like stone, his eyes blazing with anger. “If she threatened you, I’m going back there right now to kill her.”

I looked away. “She didn’t threaten me.” My hands shook as I pushed my hair back from my face. “It was me. I was projecting things on her. Actions, emotions, words, it’s like I was expecting her to reveal that the severing hadn’t worked.”