The Sweet Potato Queens' First Big-Ass Novel (20 page)

He didn't answer but instead picked up the phone.

“Yes?” he said in an abrupt voice. His face grew stony as he listened to whoever was on the line. After a moment, he hung up without ever saying a word.

“I have to leave,” he said. His voice was unusually cold. “There's something I need to deal with right away.”

“Can I come?” I asked, following after him. We hadn't been apart in days. The idea of being left alone was unsettling.

“No,” he said, opening the front door, not even looking back. “Just stay here. I'll call you later.”

“Where are you going?” I shouted, but he didn't reply, just headed determinedly to his Mercedes. “Ross, please tell me. You're scaring me,” I said.

He ignored my pleas. And before I knew it, he was gone.

I stood in the yard for a couple of minutes, befuddled. What the hell was going on?

I went back inside and started picking up the dirty dishes from the table. The doorbell chimed, nearly scaring the crap out of me. Ross never had any visitors.

“Jill, are you in there?” yelled a voice from outside.

Was that Gerald?

“Jill! Open the door!”

It was Patsy's voice. No mistaking it.

I cracked the door, and both Gerald and Patsy stood on my porch.

“Thank God,” Gerald said, grabbing me and hugging me tight.

“What are y'all doing here?”

“No time to talk,” Patsy said. “We've got to go to Tammy's house. One of the Queens is in deep trouble.”

“Who?” I said, cocking my head in confusion.

“We'll explain everything when we get there,” Gerald said. “There's not much time.”

“All right, I'm coming,” I said, caught up in their urgency. As soon as I took a step outside I froze. “Wait a minute. I can't go. Ross had to leave suddenly, and he'll pitch a fit if he comes home and I'm not here.”

“Call him from Tammy's,” Gerald said, putting an arm around my waist and gently pushing me toward the car.

“You don't understand. Ross is very protective of me. I just can't—”

“Jill!” Patsy shouted. Her eyes were blurry with tears. “We need you! This is a matter of life and death.”

I'd never heard Patsy raise her voice before. Her outburst stunned me into compliance. They led me to Gerald's car parked in our circular drive.

“What the hell's going on?” I said, my heart booming in my ears. I was terrified about what might be wrong and equally upset about Ross's likely reaction to my being gone.

“We're almost there!” Gerald said from the front seat. “Hang tight for a minute.”

A dozen horrible scenarios flashed in my mind. Who was in trouble, Mary Bennett or Tammy? I thought of Tammy's suicide attempt. Had she tried again?

Gerald lurched into Tammy's driveway, and as soon as the car came to a stop, we all rushed inside the house. Mary Bennett was standing in the kitchen, talking to a tall, dark-haired woman I didn't recognize. Obviously, the trouble was with Tammy—Bob must've finally caught her in the act. She was nowhere in sight.

“There's Jill. Hey, hunny,” she said very calmly, as she gave me a hug. “Jill, I want you to meet someone,” she said, indicating the brunette.

“What's happened to Tammy?” I demanded, ignoring her.

“Nothing's happened to Tammy,” Mary Bennett said. “She's perfectly fine.”

“Where is she? What's the big emergency then?” I glanced at Patsy and Gerald. “I thought you said Tammy was in trouble.”

“I said
one
of the Queens is in terrible trouble,” Gerald said. “I didn't say it was Tammy.”

Just then Tammy strode into the kitchen from the back of the house. She looked completely normal, not a hair out of place.

“There she is,” she said with a relieved sigh. “Have you told her yet?”

“Told me what?” I asked. “What the fuck's going on?!”

An almost imperceptible exchange went on between the four Queens.

“Haven't you guessed?” Mary Bennett said. “It's you. You're the one in trouble.”

“Are all of you fuckin' crazy? There's nothing wrong with me!” I turned to the phone on the wall. “I need to call Ross, then one of you assholes needs to take me back home.”

“Don't worry about him right now,” Mary Bennett said. “He won't be coming back home anytime soon.”

“You were the one who just called?” I said, feeling queasy.

Mary Bennett nodded. The Queens were all staring at me in an extremely peculiar way. “Take me home now! You don't understand Ross. He's—”

“I understand him very well, Jill,” said the brunette. “I was engaged to him myself just a few months ago.”

“What?” I said, sinking into a kitchen chair. “Who the hell are you?”

“My name's Hillary Gray. I'm from New Orleans. Your friends asked me to come up. They were afraid for you. And with good reason.”

“Why? What the hell are y'all talkin' about?!” I demanded, giving the Queens an incredulous look. “Everything's perfect. I've never been happier.” I waved my hand in front of them. “Look! I'm engaged.”

No one seemed at all happy with my news.

Hillary surveyed me with calm brown eyes. “I understand you haven't been going to work, and that you no longer write a column that you truly enjoyed. Whose idea was that, yours or Ross's?”

“Mine,” I said in a defensive voice. “Ross was naturally concerned that I was putting in so many hours, but he—”

“Did he discourage you from seeing your friends?” Hillary asked. “Did he isolate you from other people?”

“It's perfectly natural for two people to cocoon at the beginning of a relationship,” I said, directing my comment to the Queens. “Good God, when Tammy and Bob first got married, they didn't come up for air for weeks, and Patsy—”

Hillary didn't blink. “Has he ever lost his temper with you? Grabbed you? Hit you?” she asked.

The air in the room seemed to get thinner. The Queens tensed at the questions. Everyone's eyes were trained on me.

“He threw a drink at me,” I said, involuntarily touching my jaw. “It was an accident, and it didn't even hurt.”

“Good God! I can't believe what I'm hearing,” Mary Bennett said with a wince.

“It's nothing,” I said. “People lose their tempers all the time. He apologized his head off and promised he'd never do it again. I believe him.”

“Will you fuckin' listen to yourself, Jill?” Tammy said in a firm voice.

“It
was
an accident, I tell you,” I said.

“What in the hell has happened to you?” Tammy said, shaking her head in disbelief. “First you practically drop off the face of the earth. You stop working. You ignore your nearest and dearest, and now you're defending this asshole who tried to hurt you. I feel like I'm talking to a stranger.”

“There's something y'all don't understand,” Hillary interrupted. “Jill
isn't
herself. She's been in the nonstop company of a master manipulator for several weeks. Ross occasionally loses his temper, when he doesn't immediately get what he wants, but that's not his biggest problem. I just hope we aren't too late.”

“What do you mean?” I said, searching her face. “Will you
pleeeze
just tell me what's going on?”

Hillary took a deep breath. “Has Ross offered to help you manage your money yet?”

“What? How did you—?”

“Does he have any access to your bank accounts?” she asked, in a strident voice.

“No,” I said, desperately trying to make sense of what was going on. “But what would be so terrible about that? That's what he does. He's—”

“Oh, Jill,” Gerald said softly.

“Y'all've got it all wrong!” I said. “Ross didn't offer. I asked him! He didn't even know I
had
any.”

“Yes, Jill, he did,” Hillary said. “He's known from the beginning. That's why he picked
you
to prey on.”

“Excuse me?”

“You filled out a request card for an investment kit, didn't you?” Hillary asked. “Those cards go to Ross's P.O. box.”

My head felt as if it could float away from my neck, except there was no air in the room. “This doesn't make sense,” I said. “Ross has so much money of his own.”

Hillary crouched down so her face was level with mine. “I'm sure he told you he inherited millions, but that's a lie. The only money he has is what's he bilked from women like us.”

“But his car—”

“Leased,” she said.

“My ring?” I said, protectively rubbing the oversized diamond.

“Cubic zirconium.”

“His Rolex Presidential?”

“It's a fake,” Tammy said. “That's how I knew he was lying. I know my tickers. The minute hand was jerky instead of smooth.”

“He took me to the Bahamas!” I said.

“Ross took me there, too,” Hillary said. “He considers the trip an investment. He makes many grand gestures to gain your trust. It's also a way for him to insinuate himself into your life without anyone around.
Every
thing he does is just a step to get closer to your money.”

“I can't believe this…,” I said.

“He'll stop at
nothing
to make a woman fall in love with him. I'm sure you know
exactly
what I'm talking about.”

I thought of Ross's expert moves in the bedroom. “I think I'm gonna puke.”

“When you filled out that card, it asked how much money you wanted to invest,” Hillary continued. “That's how Ross decides if you're worth his while. He visits women at their jobs to see if he's interested in them, as marks. After three intense weeks of dating, he proposes. By then he's done his job so well that when the time comes to steal her money, the woman is practically begging him to take it.”

The room was deadly silent.

“Oh my God,” I finally said in a whisper. “That's exactly what he did to me.”

“Ross took me for two hundred thousand dollars,” Hillary said, standing. “You're very lucky. You have wonderful friends who recognized early that you were in trouble. I wish I'd been so blessed.”

I glanced up at the Queens. I'd never seen them look so serious before.

“How did y'all know?” I asked.

“When Tammy told me about the Rolex and how you'd practically given up your life for this guy, I didn't like the sound of it one bit,” Mary Bennett said. “I hired a private dick to check things out. He led me to Hillary, who at first didn't want to say anything about Ross.”

“I was humiliated,” Hillary admitted. “I didn't want anyone to know what he did to me. I never even went to the police.”

“I could tell she was hiding something, so I played the fame card. I said this is Mary Bennett Manning and you better damn well tell me what's wrong with Ross or I'll open up a big ol' can of whoop-ass on you.”

“I'm a huge fan of
Eagle's Cove,
” Hillary said with a slight smile. “When Electra Frostman tells you to do something, you just do it! Plus, when I learned Ross was involved with a new woman, I knew I had to stop him from cheating someone else.”

“So, I brought her up here,” Mary Bennett said, stirring cream into her coffee. “Tammy found Ross's address and phone number at the leasing company, and we planned our little intervention.”

“How did you get Ross out of the house?” I asked.

“I told him Hillary was finally sending the cops after him. I'll bet he took off outta there like a spotted-ass ape,” Mary Bennett said.

“I've never felt so fuckin' stupid in my life,” I said. “To think y'all had to go to such lengths—” Then I remembered. “The Emmys! They were tonight! You're not supposed to be here,” I said, covering my face with my hands. “You were nominated for best actress. You're missing out because of me.”

“Don't sweat it,” Mary Bennett said, drawing me into a hug. “Who needs the excitement and drama of the Emmys when I can get more than that right here at home?”

C
ould we go somewhere for a tall one?” Tammy said. She was trying to play it cool, but I could tell she was as agitated as a shook-up soda can. She had shown up unexpectedly at the gym just as I'd showered and changed into my street clothes.

“Sounds like a plan,” I said. I'd been so busy putting my life back in order after my run-in with Ross, I'd scarcely seen Tammy for the last couple of weeks.

We went to a dark, dingy sports bar—Tammy's choice—and sat in a back booth pulling on frosty mugs of Bud draft and listening to the steady click of balls from a pool game a few feet away.

“You know how much I love you and the Queens,” Tammy said, quaffing her third beer. “I'd do anything for y'all.”

“You definitely saved
my
ass.”

“And I'd never do anything to hurt you.”

Whatever it was that Tammy had stuck in her craw, she'd been skirting around it for the last hour. At this rate, I'd be shit-faced before she finally came out with it.

“Go ahead and say what's on your mind,” I said. “I promise not to bite.”

Even in the gloom of the bar, Tammy's face was easier to read than a mood ring. She may as well have had “guilty as sin” stamped on her forehead.

She took a big breath. “I'm finally leaving Bob.”

“I take that back,” I said, plunking my mug down on the table. “Maybe I will bite you after all.”

“I haven't been happy for a long time,” Tammy said. “I tried, but it's not working. This isn't a snap decision.”

“Who is he?” I said, bracing myself for the whole catastrophe. On some level I'd expected this breakup for a very long time—I just always expected it would come from Bob—but I still wasn't quite prepared for it to be happening.

“You're not going to believe it,” Tammy said, excitement washing away the guilt on her face. “His name is James and he's a lord. He has his
own
manor house in England. Do you know what that means? He's real live
royalty
, just like Princess Diana.”

All of the Queens were bewitched by the Princess Diana frenzy (we'd stayed up all night to watch the wedding) and we were downright covetous of her genuine tiaras. However, leaving your darling husband to have a dalliance with a B-list Prince Charles was taking it too bloody far.

“
Have
a liaison with Lord Lover Boy if you must,” I said. “But that's no reason to break up your marriage.”

Tammy shook her head. “James wants me to come to England and live with him. I'm leaving tomorrow.”

“What?” I said, banging my head against the back of the booth. “Are you out of your fuckin' mind? You don't even have a passport.”

Tammy slid a small blue book across the table. “All set. Remember when Bob and I went to Paris?”

I'd forgotten. Bob scrimped and saved for months to surprise Tammy with that trip for their fifth anniversary.

“How long have you been planning this?”

Tammy stared into her empty mug, then held it up for the barkeep to see. “Since just before you met Ross. James gave me the diamond tennis bracelet you caught me wearing.”

“Why haven't you told me?”

“I couldn't. You weren't around or available. Besides, I was afraid you'd
do
something.”

“Like stage an intervention with the rest of the Queens the way y'all did me?”

“Something like that,” she said, stuffing the passport back into her purse.

“I
do
want to stop you. I think you're making the worst mistake of your life.”

“Come on, Jill,” Tammy said. “He's a
lord
! His money is so old, it dates back to before the earth cooled. Not like these North Jackson bitches, with their tacky new money.”

“Like Marcy Stevens?”

“Yes, like her. Imagine if James and I got married; I'd be Lady Tammy. People like Marcy Stevens Whatever-the-fuck's-her-last-name-now would have to curtsy to me.”

I shot her an appalled look. “Marcyfucking Stevens—Tammy, good God, hunny—will you EVER let that go? You are gonna fuck up your life on the off chance that it might give you some kind of warped upper hand with some bitch from HIGH SCHOOL? What is it gonna take for you to get over that bullshit?”

“I'm also madly, deeply in love with James,” she added quickly, obviously realizing how shallow she sounded but ignoring my rant.

“And you've known him
how
long?”

“Long enough. He was here visiting a cousin for a month. We went out almost every night while Bob studied at the library. He's back in England waiting for me to come.” She happily hugged herself. “He's sent me a love letter every day since he got back.”

“Didn't you learn one thing from my mistakes?
Never
rush into things with a man.”

“I'm not that gullible! Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say
you
were gullible. I just meant—”

“The savviest woman in the world can be gullible if she thinks only with her heart instead of her head. I learned that the hard way.” I paused. “But it sounds to me like you're thinking with your pocketbook and your fucked-up inner Social Register.”

“Not true. I'm crazy about James. It's just a happy coincidence he's loaded.”

“When did ya tell Bob?”

Tammy twisted her beer mug back and forth. “I haven't. I'm leaving him a note.”

“Un-fuckin'-believable! Very classy.”

“I know it's chickenshit…but I can't bear to see his face,” she said. “He's a wonderful man. He's just not the one for me.”

Bob would be completely devastated. At that very moment, he was working himself to a nub for his supervision degree just to be a better provider for Tammy.

I took a deep breath. “Tammy, I love you, but you're doing a horrendous thing and for fucked-up reasons. How many times are you gonna do this? There is no ‘society' for you to ‘arrive' in—people are just PEOPLE, no matter where you go. If you won't learn from MY mistakes, at least learn from your OWN! I wish to God you'd give this more thought.”

“Believe me, Jill, this is the best thing that ever happened to me.” Tammy chugged the rest of her beer. “You'll see. One day, all the Queens can come visit me in my castle. Don't you think for once in my life I deserve to be happy?”