The Sweetest Revenge (8 page)

“
What about jewelry?” Rudolf
asked.

I had already decided to sell my
most expensive pieces, including my engagement ring, which sat in the
jewelry box now, at a reputable jeweler on consignment. But I had
other less expensive pieces Jim had bought me over the years that
could go on the block. I showed those pieces to Rudolf.

“
We can definitely sell those,”
he said.

I showed him the set of Lenox
fine china Jim and I had received as wedding gifts and added to over
the years. White with a fine gold trim around the edges, beautiful in
it’s simplicity. I showed him the crystal glasses. I had rarely
used the china and crystal, but it had been nice to have when I
wanted a more formal setting, such as that Thanksgiving eight years
ago when my parents visited. The Chantilly silver set had belonged to
my grandmother and would not be part of the sale. Rudolf took photos
of everything.

When we were finished going
through the house, Rudolf said, “You’ve got some great pieces
here that I’m sure will sell. Did you say you’re moving?”

“
No, I’m not moving,” I
said. “Just cleaning house.”

We made arrangements to have the
sale a week from Saturday. That would give Estate Sales, Inc. ample
time to properly advertise it. That gave me time to move items I
didn’t want to sell into the spare bedroom. Not a place I wanted to
go, but it was necessary.

Over the next week, I threw
myself into moving things into the spare room. After the sale, I
would need a new couch, so I went to Fine Southern Furniture on the
edge of campus and looked at their selection. They got their
furniture from Hickory, North Carolina, so I knew it was well made. I
wandered through their shop, which was located in a historic home on
a shady street. Each room in the house was set up like rooms in real
houses, so you could get a feel of what the furniture really looked
like.

I wandered through the front of
the house, looking at the couches. There were mostly floral prints
and not what I was looking for.

“
We can order you any fabric
you want,” the saleswoman said. “I’ve got all the fabric
samples in the back.”

As I was following her through
the last decorated room I noticed a couch against the left wall. I
walked over to it. It was a slate blue color, just like the couch in
my dream. It had a chaise on one end and the other end was a
recliner. The middle seat was stationary. I sat in the recliner and
pulled the lever on the side. I sat back and settled in the seat. It
was comfortable. I pulled the recliner back down and sat on the
middle section before I moved to the chaise part. I could envision
Midnight on the chaise, enjoying an afternoon nap. The fabric was
micro fiber, so it would be very durable and stain resistant.

“
Someone ordered that and then
backed out,” the saleswoman said. “I can give you a good deal on
it.”

“
How much?” I asked, though I
already knew I’d be buying it.

“
Eighteen hundred dollars,”
she said.

“
Can you deliver it Saturday
afternoon around four?”

“
I’m sure we can arrange
that,” she said.

“
I need something to put my
television on,” I told her. “Do you have something you can show
me?”

The saleswoman, Ruth, I had
learned by that point, showed me several pieces, all made in Hickory.
I chose a large cherry wood cabinet that had sliding doors to hide
the television—not something I envisioned doing much—with
cabinets below it and shelves on either side. It looked like it would
fit in the space where the TV currently stood in its primitive
cupboard.

I had to remove everything from
dressers and other pieces of furniture that would be in the estate
sale. That took a lot of effort. By the end of the week, my foot was
aching. I took a painkiller leftover from the early days of my injury
and fell asleep.

When Rudolf arrived with an
assistant, Nancy, on Saturday morning, I was ready.

“
I’m not selling the
television,” I said. “Can you help me move it to the spare room?”

With some effort, Rudolf moved
the flat screen up the stairs and into the room. He was sweating and
huffing when he came back downstairs.

Then it was time for me to leave.
I grabbed my jewelry box and put it in my trunk. I wasn’t sure
where I was going to go for four hours, but I couldn’t hang around
and watch people paw through my belongings. I went to the library and
thumbed through magazines for a while. Then I browsed the shelves and
chose a few novels, which I doubted I would ever read. Only two hours
had passed. It was time to see The Lone Ranger.

I thought the movie was good,
though it was hard to see Johnny Depp’s incredible looks through
all the make-up and with a dead crow on his head. But it was an
exciting movie and a good distraction for me, though my mind did
wander sometimes, envisioning people in my house, buying my precious
belongings.

I returned to my house at
two-thirty. The buyers were gone and Rudolf and Nancy were
straightening up inside. The house was practically empty, like
someone had moved in the middle of the night. Tears sprang to my eyes
when I walked into the empty dining room with the silver tea set
sitting on the hardwood floors, no longer with a home in the china
cabinet. In the den, the mantle had been removed and the fireplace
looked naked without it. A table in the corner still had a few pieces
on top—ceramic bowls and vases mostly that Jim and I had found at
flea markets. My wedding china had been sold along with the crystal.

I burst into tears. My former
life didn’t exist anymore and it hit me harder than I thought it
would.

“
Are you all right, Mrs.
Sullivan,” Rudolf asked. The concern in his voice was genuine.

“
I just didn’t think it would
hit me like this,” I said.

“
I know,” he said soothingly.
“I’ve seen this lots of times. It might make you feel better to
know we made nearly twenty-five thousand today. After our twenty
percent commission, you’ll be getting nearly twenty-one thousand
dollars.”

My tears started to dry. That did
make me feel better.

Rudolf handed me a check and I
said goodbye. It wouldn’t be long before my new furniture, the
beginning of my new life, would arrive. I got Midnight out of the cat
carrier in the spare room, where she had been since I left the house.
She followed me through the rooms, meowing her displeasure. There
wasn’t anywhere to sit but the floor!

The couch and console arrived at
four fifteen. The cherry console barely fit in the area next to the
fireplace. The delivery guys got my TV from the spare room and set it
back up. After they left, I sank onto the chaise of the new couch.
Midnight jumped up and rubbed her face all over my stomach. Poor
girl. She was traumatized.

And that’s how it was for
several days. I had no furniture and I had no food to speak of. I ate
my last can of tuna and Midnight ate her last can of Fancy Feast,
soufflé with wild salmon, on Monday night. I wasn’t sure who was
getting the better meal. I had an appointment with Janice the next
day and vowed a major trip to the grocery store after that.

The next afternoon, I sat in
Janice’s well-appointed office and gave her all the details of my
employment and my ultimate termination. She took notes on a legal
pad. When we were finished, she said, “We’ll start working on the
complaint for this. It should be ready next week. My fee is three
hundred dollars an hours.”

I forced myself not to flinch.
“Okay,” I said getting up to leave.

“
I’ll be in touch,” Janice
said.

And then I really had nothing to
do but wait.

Chapter
Eleven

I slept on my new couch for
several days before I dragged myself out to buy a new bed. I got a
queen-sized plush top bed that was delivered the same day I bought
it. I ordered expensive new sheets and a light down-alternative
comforter, like the one in my dream, from the Company Store on the
Internet.

My clothes were in piles on the
floor, so I stopped by the furniture store and bought a dresser for
my bedroom. Ruth was happy to see me.

I re-hung the paintings that I
kept in the empty dining room, the sitting room, and the den. I moved
the few knick-knacks I still had to the shelves of my new console. I
placed my cherished books on the shelves. A lot of Jim’s books had
sold in the estate sale, and I had thrown the rest of them away.

I called a painter I found on the
Internet. Over the course of two weeks, he and his crew repainted
every single room in the house. I even had them paint the cream
cabinets in the kitchen a medium gray color and refit the doors with
new hardware. I told Jerry, the head painter and owner of the
company, that I wanted to paint the outside soon. A nice pewter gray,
I said.

The rest of the furniture would
have to evolve over time. I had a couch to sit on, a TV to watch, a
bed to sleep in, a place to put my clothes. It was enough for the
moment.

Carly called me once. “They
told me I’m not allowed to contact you,” she said. “But I
needed to see how you’re doing. I worry about you.”

“
Carly,” I said. “You are
so sweet to call me. I don’t want you to compromise yourself or
your job by talking to me.”

“
I know,” she said. “I just
need to know you’re okay.”

“
I’m okay. I appreciate your
calling more than I can say. Thank you.”

I cried a little after I hung up
from Carly. She had really taken a big risk to call me. I realized
that someone in that town gave a damn about me.

A month later, my limp was gone
and I was wearing my size twelves that I had hung onto. But even they
were beginning to droop on me. I had no idea how much weight I had
lost and I refused to weigh on the cruel scales. In fact, I picked
them up one morning and threw them in the garbage. I hated those
digital scales that had haunted me for years. Hated them.

Wearing my Levi’s and a
turquoise top I found in the inner sanctum of my closet, I decided to
go to the garden center and buy some flowers. It was late September
and the weather was beginning to cool and the feel of fall was in the
air. I was wandering through the aisles of the garden center, putting
chrysanthemums in my basket, when I saw him. Or them, I should say.

Jim and Kimberly were at the end
of the aisle I was on, looking at some fruit trees. I knew she was
still a visiting professor until the end of the fall semester. Where
she would go after that, I had no idea. I had relished the thought of
her leaving Jim behind while she pursued her art and academic career.
The thought of him being left alone after giving everything up with
me had gotten me through many a night.

I turned my head so they wouldn’t
see me. But I couldn’t resist glancing over at them every few
seconds. Why were they looking at fruit trees? That was the kind of
item you bought when you were putting down roots, not a temporary
kind of plant at all. Was Kimberly going to stay in town? That made
me heartsick.

And then Jim looked my way. I saw
the look of surprise on his face. His smile quivered, then dropped
until his lips were in a straight line. I turned my head again. I
left my basket of flowers and walked all the way through the store
and out the other side before circling back around to my car.

I sat in my car and cried. I had
imagined Jim with Kimberly many times, had tortured myself with
visions of their life, their lovemaking. But seeing them together in
person was worse than any of those visions. In person, they were a
real couple, out buying things together. For their house.

Like Jim and I used to do.

After I had collected myself, I
drove to the grocery store and went down the aisles in a frenzy,
buying food like I had when Jim was still there. I hauled the grocery
bags inside and started making lasagna before I even put the
groceries up. Hours later, when the lasagna was bubbling and the
fresh mozzarella was oozing on top, I cut a piece. I ate the entire
piece ravenously, like I hadn’t eaten in a week.

It was too much for me. I was so
full after I ate, that I threw up. I guess I had just needed to know
that I could still do it, that I was still a good cook even if there
was no one to cook for anymore. I cut the rest of the lasagna into
individual pieces and froze them for later. I didn’t know when I’d
be able to eat it again.

I checked my email before
settling in for the night. I don’t know why I still bothered to do
that. I rarely got email, except from my parents. But that evening,
there was an email from Jim.

“
Was that you I saw at the
garden center today?” he wrote. “I barely recognized you. You’ve
lost so much weight, it took me back in time.”

Bastard. I didn’t respond to
him.

I was beginning to realize that
there was no reason for me to stay in Marshall. I no longer had a job
or a husband. Or any friends. My parents had left five years earlier.
My prospects for another job were limited since the university was
the main provider in Marshall, and they had fired me. I wished I had
been clear-headed enough earlier on to realize this. Back when I had
the house on the market. With the alimony money, plus the
investments, plus the money from the sale of the house, I really
could live anywhere I wanted to. Even if it meant uprooting Midnight.
I could find a place that would allow her to be outdoors, once we
were settled.