The Switch (6 page)

She knew it was stupid and forced the thought away for the time being.

“I’m sorry. It must have been horrible for you.” He watched her, studying her reaction, but didn’t move closer—which she appreciated.

She nodded, unable to form words about how difficult it had been to finish her pregnancy with Tristi after burying her husband. Danny didn’t need to know everything, anyway. “It wasn’t exactly a high point in my life.”

“If you ever want to talk about it . . . ” He left it open ended, obviously sensing that she didn’t want to at the moment.

“Thanks. I’ll remember that.”
I won’t talk to you about it, though
. How could she? She decided to change the subject. “You’re welcome to join us for dinner. I’m testing out a new pasta dish tonight.”

“But with no pine nuts, I’d guess,” he teased.

“Right,” she nodded. “There are no pine nuts in this house. Peanut butter on the other hand—we go through tons of that. But not tonight.”

“Sounds great. Could you use an extra pair of hands in the kitchen?”

Tia released the tension in her shoulders and put him to work. Everything was going to be okay.

It was so not okay. She had already swabbed her own cheeks and gotten her father to do the same. Now she waited impatiently for her mother to show up and do the test. In the morning Tia would send the test kit back and within a week she could have an answer to everyone’s questions.

If her mother would show up.

Mona had insisted she would come over to do the test, there was no reason for Tia to make the drive, and besides, it would give her a chance to spend time with her grandbabies. Of course she hadn’t had time to stop and chat when she arrived to get the girls.

Tia appreciated her mother’s willingness to take Samantha and Tristi out for a couple of hours. It was amazing how much she’d managed to get done without the constant distractions, but it was long past time for her mother to get back so Tia could tuck the girls into bed. What was keeping them?

She stalked across the living room again and tried not to look at the clock—it would only irritate her. Had they been in an accident? Tia wanted to call, but last time her mother had taken the girls, she’d thrown a fit about Tia checking up on them. A glance at the clock urged Tia to pull out her cell phone anyway. She waited impatiently for the ringing, then gritted her teeth when it went to voice mail.

What was going on? Tia sighed in relief as the doorbell rang, then nearly growled when she opened the door to find Nichole standing there instead of Mona.

“Wow, what’s wrong?” Nichole asked.

“My mom has the girls. Still. And she should have been home half an hour ago. And she isn’t answering her phone.” She led Nichole into the room and they sat on the sofa.

“Odd.”

“Not for my mother, it isn’t.”

“Yet you’re still upset.”

“Irritated, yes.” It finally occurred to her to wonder what Nichole was doing there so late. “Sorry. What’s going on?”

“I could see you pacing and thought maybe you could use a sympathetic ear.”

Nichole lived across the street, and when both had their drapes open, they could look right into each other’s homes.

“Thanks. She was supposed to do the DNA swab tonight, then offered to make it grandma time, and she rushed the girls out so fast we didn’t get the swab done. Now she’s late coming back and it feels like she’s dragging her feet. I want this over and done with. I wish she’d come last night instead. Then they’d already be in the mail.” The tension of not knowing made a hard ball of worry tighten in her stomach.

“Yes, but then she would have given you the third degree about Danny stopping by for dinner.” Nichole’s eyes twinkled at her.

“How did you know?” A ridiculous hint of embarrassment slid into her, even as she felt herself blush with the memory of their time together. She liked Danny more every time she spoke with him.

“I live across the street, remember? Besides, Casey mentioned Samantha went on and on about it.”

Tia blushed. “He came to ask me to judge a chili-cook off his department is holding for a fund-raiser. He didn’t come with the intention of joining us for dinner.”

“Sure he didn’t.” Nichole chuckled. “That’s why he waited until nearly six to pop by. He had the whole day off, you’d been home for hours . . . ”

“You’re delusional if you think I’m going to get involved with a guy right now when everything else is up in the air.” She only had so much room for change in her life before she went on overload.

Nichole sent her a piercing stare. “It’s been nearly two years since Lee died. You deserve to be involved with a nice guy who cares about you. It would be a shame to miss out because you’re scared.”

The words made Tia’s throat ache. She was about to change the subject when there was another knock at the door. “That better be my mom, or she’s so dead.”

Samantha’s excited voice from the other side of the door put Tia at ease before she got close enough to unlock it. There was a flurry of excited hugs and chatter as the girls told her about what they’d done, and Mona made small talk with Nichole.

As Tia took her yawning toddler from her mother’s arms, she looked at Nichole and mouthed, “Don’t let her get away.”

Nichole nodded and gave her the thumbs up signal.

Glad for the backup, Tia made her excuses and whisked the girls off to put them into pajamas. The bedtime routine lasted longer than usual; Samantha couldn’t keep the toothbrush in her mouth for more than five seconds without thinking of something else she wanted to say.

Finally Tia tucked them into bed and returned to the living room. Nichole stood firmly in front of the door, talking about something that had happened at a school activity. Mona looked mutinous at the blockade. “I really do have to go,” she said.

“Oh, but here’s Tia. Now you can say a proper goodbye.” Nichole peeked over Mona’s shoulder. “It was good chatting with you again, Tia. Play date tomorrow afternoon?”

“Yes, thanks.” Tia hoped her smile conveyed her appreciation as she took her mother by the elbow and led her to the sofa. “Don’t you have a few minutes, Mom? We need to talk.”

“It’s pretty late, much later than I’d planned on staying,” Mona protested.

“Well this won’t take long.” Tia heard the front door close behind Nichole and was grateful again she’d popped by. If Mona had gotten away tonight without swabbing her cheeks, Tia would have had to chase her down the next day and she didn’t need the aggravation.

“I’m already running behind.”

“That’s because you stayed out late. Don’t worry. The swabs don’t hurt and it’ll be done in a few minutes.” Tia grabbed the package with the swabs and pulled it open.

“Sweetheart, are you sure about this? I mean, there’s no real reason to have me tested. I know my own daughter!”

“Mom, I thought we already covered this. It’s just for form’s sake. Besides, the test kit came with swabs for both parents, and it’s better to clear away any questions before they arise, don’t you think?” She handed the first cotton swab to her mom. “Now, rub this pretty firmly against the inside of your cheek, remembering to get along the gumline as well. It has to get skin cells in it, not just saliva, so twist it as you go to ensure plenty of skin cells are all over it.”

“But honey—”

Tia wanted to scream. Couldn’t anything about this be easy? “Mom, please do it for me, okay? Please? This is such a simple thing and Dad’s already paid for the test kit.”

Her comment seemed to have the desired effect because Mona started swabbing like mad. “I could have paid for the kit. I’m perfectly capable on my own. I don’t know why you insist on letting him pay for everything.”

Tia held back a smile and timed her mom, then switched swabs and put the used one in the provided pouch.

“This is so unnecessary,” Mona said as she handed the second swab back after finishing with it.

“Thanks for humoring me.” Tia passed over the final test and sighed in relief as her mother took care of it.

“I don’t understand why you’re making such a big deal about this,” Mona protested.

“You’re the one making a big production out of it.” Tia took the final specimen and sealed it in the package. “If everything comes back on this like you expect, then there’s no harm done. The only reason you should be upset is if you believe the results will be negative.” She eyed her mother, wondering again if there was more going on than she would admit. But if Mona had suspected something, she would never have opened this can of worms by insisting the blood type was wrong.

“My heavens, a mother knows her own baby! The problem is you don’t trust me. If you did, you wouldn’t have put us through this ordeal.”

Tia decided it was too late to argue now. She was tired and had another full day ahead of her. “Thanks for taking the girls tonight, Mom. They had fun and I appreciated the break. I got a lot done.”

“I remember what it was like to have young ones at home and how hard it was to get anything accomplished.” Mona kissed her cheek. “Take care, and make sure you let me know when the results get back.”

“I will.” Tia was grateful for the momentary reprieve from hostility. All she could do now was wait for the results.

The next week passed entirely too slowly. Tia had spoken with Danny on the phone a couple of times about the chili cook-off, and they had submitted info about the event to her supervisor at work. The station manager thought it a great publicity opportunity for Tia and the station, as well as good for the charity. Samantha was still poking at her to go to the fire shed to see Danny and the ambulance, and Mona had started calling, asking about updates on the DNA test before the envelope could have even arrived at the company that would run the tests.

The days seemed to stretch, lasting far longer than they should have. Finally Tia sat at the computer, logged onto the website and checked her results.

She stared at the screen for a long moment, stunned.

There was no biological relationship between her and
either
of her parents. Though she’d had a niggling thought about this, she hadn’t really believed it. How could it be possible? She couldn’t have been adopted, or her parents would’ve told her when all of this came up—beside that, she had pictures of her mom, dad, uncle, and grandmother all holding her in the hospital, and she had her bracelet from her birth tucked into a scrapbook. Hers and her mother’s hospital bracelets, in fact.

Tia stood and walked away from the computer, then turned and paced back again. Emotions roiled in her: worry, loss, sadness, and concern for the future. Tears poured down her face as she tried to understand everything. Hadn’t she been through enough with Lee dying? Did this have to happen too?

Now she had the answers she’d looked for, she didn’t know what to do about it. She had to tell her parents, of course, but she could already see the recriminations, hard feelings, and finger pointing—and that was just her mother. Samantha ran into the apartment with Casey hot on her heels. “Mom, can we go see Danny now? Pleeeease? We’re bored!”

Tia’s first instinct was to say no, then retreat to her room to curl up in the fetal position. She followed her second instinct, which was to avoid thinking about it entirely. She dabbed at her eyes, trying to keep Samantha from seeing her face clearly. “What a great idea, honey. I’ll call Nichole to see if Casey can go with us.”

She grabbed her cell phone and headed for the bathroom to check her makeup. She had no idea if Danny was working that day or not—his schedule seemed sporadic and she hadn’t asked about it. Once she had permission from Nichole, she stared at the phone, then called Danny to see if now was a good time.

“Hi, Tia,” he answered before she could introduce herself. “How are you doing?”

“I’m well.”
Not
. “Hey, Samantha wondered if now would be a good time for us to swing by the fire station for the ambulance tour you mentioned. If it’s not, we can arrange another time.”

“Now would be great. We’re all cleaned up from the last run. With any luck we’ll have a break before the pagers go off again.”

“We’ll see you in a bit.” She ended the call and touched up her makeup, though she had to pause for a moment to get her emotions back under control. “Nothing has changed. Everything’s exactly the same as it was an hour ago. You just know about it now,” she reminded herself. She didn’t really believe it. Everything seemed different.

* * *

Danny looked forward to seeing Tia and the girls again. He’d been tempted to swing by and visit them during the week, but decided he’d need to take things a little more slowly with Tia. She was a bit skittish.

He’d had his hands full with preparations for the chili cook-off, anyway. Most of the other guys at the station had families or second jobs, so he’d taken on the lion’s share of the planning and organizing—which was fine by him since it kept his mind off other things.

The sound of little voices wafted through the open garage door and Danny saw Samantha and Casey enter with Tia following behind, Tristi in her arms.

“Don’t touch anything unless Danny says it’s okay, all right?” Tia told them.

“We won’t.” Samantha’s voice carried across the ambulance bay and she waved wildly when she saw him. “Hi, Danny. We’ve come to see you!”

“So I see.” He leaned over and hugged her, then set a hand on Casey’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. He could sense Casey was still trying to make up her mind about him, and he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable by hugging her. Then he looked into Tia’s eyes, his smile widening. “I’m glad you finally brought them.” He noticed the strain around her mouth, and the slight redness in her eyes, but decided not to comment on it.

“Thanks for being willing to see us on such short notice.”

“Anytime.” Feeling the distance she projected, he turned back to the girls and began talking about the ambulance and the kinds of calls they went out on. He took them into the ambulance and pointed out the supplies and equipment and explained what they were all used for. Samantha’s fascination seemed to increase the longer they talked. Casey was not quite as enthusiastic, though she didn’t appear bored, either.

Next he took them through the building and showed them the bedroom and exercise equipment, then back through the kitchen, introducing them to everyone they passed. Tia hardly spoke a word the whole time, and though he thought she was interested in what he was saying, there were times when her attention wandered and she appeared upset.

When they finished the tour, he sat the girls at the kitchen table with some popsicles he’d dug out of the freezer—he had no idea where they’d come from, but they’d been there long enough no one would miss them. “Hey, James, can you keep an eye on these ladies for a few minutes while I talk with Tia?”

James was doing a crossword puzzle and smiled up at him. “Sure. No problem.” He winked and Danny hoped Tia hadn’t seen. The man seriously had no subtlety.

“It’s okay, I don’t want them to be a burden,” Tia protested.

“It’s really all right. They’ll take a few minutes with the popsicles anyway,” James insisted.

“Come on,” Danny grabbed her wrist and gave it a gentle tug. She sent one more worried look at the girls, then followed him out. “Don’t worry about them,” Danny said. “James has a couple kids of his own. He’s great with children.”

“What did you want to talk about? If it’s about the chili cook-off we could have talked as easily in front of the girls.” She kept her arms crossed over her stomach and didn’t meet his gaze.

“It’s not.” He stopped her in sight of the kitchen doorway so she’d be comfortable about leaving the girls there, but far enough away to have a private conversation. He looked her in the face. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she denied without hesitation.

“Tia. I can see something’s bothering you. You’re distracted and upset.” He reached out and set a hand on her shoulder. It was as far as he dared go. “Tell me.”

Tears started to fall and she wiped at them, looking mortified, but she seemed unable to speak.

Danny sighed. He’d had a girl for a best friend, so tears were nothing new to him. He didn’t have to like them much, though. He felt an ache of empathy in his chest and pulled her close, tucking her head against him and wrapping one arm around her back. “Hey, let it all out.”

“This is so embarrassing,” she stuttered between hiccups. “I’ll get makeup on your shirt.”

“Don’t worry about it. My shirt will wash and I have a spare.” He ran a hand along the silky strands of her hair, giving her a moment to weep before asking again, “What’s going on? Is there anything I can do?”

She shook her head against his shoulder. “Stupid of me. Not important.” But her renewed sobbing contradicted her words.

Danny glanced back at the kitchen in time to see James come to the door and look out. Danny waved to him, then maneuvered Tia further away so she wouldn’t upset the girls. Another minute passed and she started to calm. He tried again. “Okay, can you tell me what’s got you so worked up?”

She took a deep, hitching breath, and let it out, then pulled away from him. He released her with some reluctance. Her lashes sparkled slightly with dampness and mascara was smeared on her cheeks and his shoulder, but he didn’t care.

Tia took one more slow, deep breath, this time much calmer than before. “I told you I recently found out my mom had cheated on my dad and that’s why they divorced? It all came out because of an argument over blood types and my mom finding out I was the wrong type, which had my dad thinking she’d been cheating on him when I was conceived. It escalated into this big mess where we had DNA tests.”

“I’m sure it was hard, but the peace of mind will be worth it.” He pressed her hair back from her face. “Did you get the results?”

“Yeah. Turns out neither of them are my biological parents.” She stumbled over the last few words, barely getting them out.

That must have been a shock
. He thought she would start sobbing again, but soon she seemed to get it back under control. When he was sure she could answer him, he asked, “Were you adopted?”

“Don’t you think they would’ve told me if I was adopted?” She hit him in the chest with her fist, but if she was trying to hurt him, it was a pretty lame attempt. “Wouldn’t they have stopped and explained before we sent in cheek swabs?” she continued.

“Hey, I’m only eliminating the most obvious possibilities.” She was right, of course they would have told her. He just hated seeing her torn apart like this. “I’m sorry. I can understand why you’re so upset. It must be overwhelming.” He took her hand and gave it a squeeze. “What did your parents say?”

She sniffed. “I haven’t told them yet. I found out just before I called you. My mom will have a come-apart. The worst thing is I don’t know what to do. Do I try to find out what happened? Where do I look? Is it going to open a can of worms that will mess up a lot more lives?”

A couple more tears fell, but she didn’t dissolve into sobs again, so Danny figured it was a step in the right direction. He picked up a lock of her curly hair and played with it. He loved the way it curled around his finger, so soft and shiny. “Don’t think you have to have the answers all right now. You just found out. Give it a day or two to settle before you decide anything.” He settled his hands on her shoulders and pressed a kiss to her forehead. Her skin was soft and her hair held a light floral scent that went straight to his gut.

“Mom, where are you?” Samantha’s voice rang through the building.

Tia furiously wiped at her face, smearing the makeup worse. “I’m a mess.”

“Here, let me show you the bathroom. You can clean up there.” Danny took her around the corner to the bathroom and then walked back to Samantha. “Hey there, girlie. Your mom had to take a pit stop. Are you about ready to go home?” He hated the thought of sending Tia home upset, but it was almost dinnertime and he knew she’d want to get away. She was probably kicking herself for telling him anything in the first place.

“Yeah, unless you’ll let me ride on the ambulance with you.” She looked hopeful.

“Sorry, squirt. You’re a little too short, yet. Maybe when you get a bit bigger.” He ruffled her hair and smiled. He loved the hero-worship in her eyes when she looked at him and never wanted it to fade away. She was such an open book, so friendly and trusting, so excited about the world around her. It was refreshing.

“I’m always too little. I don’t get to do anything.” Her bottom lip popped out as she pouted.

Danny held in a laugh, remembering Laura taking a similar stance many times over the years. He felt a sharp ache in his chest when he thought of his friend, but swallowed it back, pushed it away. The loss was there all the time, but now was not the time to think about it.

He could hear Tristi fussing before he reached the kitchen door, so his first move was to swing her into his arms and tickle and tease her back into a good mood. It was no mean feat considering what she really wanted was her mom. Danny had the feeling Tia was going to be a few minutes, though, so he took the girls over to one of the fire trucks and boosted them in, explaining what all of the knobs and buttons were for.

When Tia re-emerged, she looked quite a bit better, definitely more in control. “Girls, are you ready to go?”

Tristi immediately stretched out her arms and slid into her mother’s embrace. She began babbling. Danny only understood a few words, but Tia seemed to catch far more of her chatter.

“Mom, can we come back some time?” Samantha asked.

Tia met Danny’s gaze and her mouth curved slightly. “I’m sure we’ll be back sometime. In fact, I’m judging a chili cook-off in the parking lot next door in a couple of weeks.”

“Yay!” Samantha jumped up and down. Casey looked pleased, but wasn’t as enthusiastic.

It only took a few minutes for Tia to herd the kids back out to the car and get them buckled in. Before she opened her own door, she looked back at Danny. “Thanks for putting up with my tears. I appreciate it. I guess I really needed to get all of it off my chest.”

“I have broad shoulders. Feel free anytime.” When he realized his eyes had strayed to her mouth, and he was wondering what it would be like to kiss her, he stepped back and shoved his hands in his pockets. This was not the right time. Not yet. “I’ll be in touch.”

“I’m sure you will.” She smiled weakly, then got in the car.

He watched her pull out of the parking lot, then turned and walked back into the station, determined to keep in touch—and he intended that literally.