I listened to a rich, deep rumble of laughter come from the old dude as he spoke on. “It wasn't easy to get along with Snap. I tell you that. A man knows when another man is after something that he had laid claim to; but beautiful Claudette insisted that he'd learn everything, so he complied. She asked me not to do and say certain things around him because it angered him. I respected her so I kept my mouth closed. I was rewarded behind closed doors.”
The old man moved away from my side and walked to the large panel windows overlooking the city. “We took over the city. I wined and dined her. In our prior years of friendship, it was a simple thing to do. We spoke of when we first met, which was in Vegas where it was her smart thinking that got King to the top of the food chain of the Syndicate and me in line to run the Commission.”
As he spoke, I sat back amazed at the brilliance of Mama and ingenuity she had to make a business deal no matter the cost. Which led back to the debt business, as the day turned into night and we both sat back full off of seafood, Italian pastas, and wine.
“There was a property in Queens that I was showing your mother the ins and out off, when I was ambushed by several of my rivals. Before that, in my limo, your mother and I . . . engaged ourselves in the act of coitus. It was during that when I learned that she was with child. Had I known prior that that day would have been the day of all days that I was to be tested and challenged for my life, I wouldn't have ever brought her to Queens. On my word.”
A pained expression appeared on his face. It made the old man furrow his brow and close his eyes at the memories as he spoke.
“There was blood everywhere, too much to be normal.” The old man's voice softened and he shook his head. “She ran right out in front of me like a gazelle. Pushing me back into the limo, using her body to shield me, as bullets peppered the limo and our bodies.”
From the way he cleared his throat, I could sense that he was holding back tears. “It was a simple acquisition of property. I was go to in, collect my money from the family who was running the butcher shop. Only, the Ajello family was adamant about ending me and everyone associated with me that day. Alas.” He flipped his hand then pressed it against his eyes. “She lay in my arms bleeding everywhere. Do you understand what I'm saying?”
“She lost the child?” I quietly asked, feeling a sharp pain in my heart.
The old man was eerily quiet before he finally answered me, which had me thinking. Especially when I heard Lucky's laughter nearby.
“Indeed,” he finally said. “She was in shock. Calling out to the father of that child, Raphael. I listened to her telling him that she was sorry for failing him and their bambino. I didn't realize until we escorted her to the hospital and put her in protection just how much she loved the man. Rightfully so, he hates me for her being shot and I hate him for the loyalty and love he was able to win from her. However, I owe him as well, which is why I never told him that she was carrying his child. Your mother bound me by my word to not tell the truth of the situation. She never told him either. By the time he got to the hospital, they had her stable and all she told him was that she had been shot.”
When the old man looked at me, it was if he was being shot at again. The pain was exceedingly raw and it hurt to my soul to know that I knew what it was to lose a child too.
“I killed every last member of that family, Javon. Personally washed in their blood. Made them experience pain and loss that I did, the day they decided to overthrow me. This is what you must do as you rise in power, Javon. Never let your enemies know your fear!”
Again, a subtle silence fell between us. I sat in shock at everything that was shared with me. When a man loses all he loves, if you don't kill him, then he will rise like a demon and take all that you cherish, so I learned. Never leave your enemy breathing.
The old man cleared throat again, then shifted back in his chair. “So, this debt is lifelong, generational, because it was almost your mother's death, then it was death of the unborn child. It also includes the thievery of her ability to have any more children after.”
Folding his hands in front of him, the Old Italian stared at me in assessment. “In totality, that has put the responsibly on my shoulders to answer any call that Claudette or her children may have. Which is why I allowed you to speak so disrespectfully and why I omitted some information with my council. They didn't need the details; you did. So, now we continue this negotiation and I will use my power to help you in any way, son.”
After handling business in New York, I came back home. Everything during my trip fell how it was supposed to. I guess that was Mama guiding me in her lessons again. I ended up having everything negotiated it to a T. What I did in meeting the Old Italian had been a major gamble. But, in the end, I learned a lot and knew that if I didn't have Mama's notes, and her explicit messages that if I ever needed to pull an ace these were the people who you start with, then I would had been signing my own death certificate. Mama had been clear in making a big note about that in her journal.
So, in addition to being aware of all of that, I personally needed to recognize that my rash plan could end me. I had to have that understanding that if my attempt to personally kill every Irish that I could get my hands on would ever go south, then I needed to be aware that the family would be left to their own devices, and Mama's plans and dreams would be nowhere. So that was why I made sure to add one more clause to the debt I'd collected from the old man. Mama's plans were birthed with ill intent. I had to be the living embodiment of Mama's contingency plan. I now had to man up and follow through with everything.
Chapter 23
Javon
This was the quiet before the storm. The moment when old secrets could either shake up our foundation, or help educate us. Checking out the woman of my life, my “before all else,” who had held me down through everything, I studied how Shanelle sat in the middle of the bed after debriefing her. She was beautiful how she was positioned in the middle of the bed surrounded by pillows, and turned-down bed linens.
I was fresh out of the shower, skin still slightly moist even after oiling my skin. I had on drawstring pants and a towel around my neck. Shanelle was baffled. That was apparent in how her head was tilted to the side, and how she stared up at me and blinked slowly in disbelief.
Honestly, I was the same way when the Old Italian told me about Mama's secrets. It was wild to even think of Mama having such an experience, but she did. So, I wasn't sure where to go with expressing that to Shanelle. So, I walked her way in concern, my bare feet feeling the familiar knots and dents in the wooden floor under me.
“So, why can't you tell Uncle Snap?” she asked speaking low just in case we were being listened to.
When I dropped down beside Shanelle in Mama's bed, the bed creaked and the comforting softness pressed in my hands. I couldn't help but remember the times I used to come in here as a child to wake Mama up or help her clean. Now, her room was ours, along with her secrets; and I missed her deeply.
“Because, it would break Uncle Snap's heart,” I heard myself explain while still in my thoughts.
I shared the rest of my trip with Shanelle. Explaining where I went and who I met and why. When it came to Mama's secrets, I did my best in relaying everything.
“I don't understand,” Shanelle said taking my hand and shifting in the bed to lay her head against my shoulder.
Honestly, I wasn't sure how I could explain it, but I chose my words to the best of my ability. “With seeking out those old heads, I had to pull up a lot of old history. Old things between Mama and the Old Italian up North.” I worded it like that because, as I spoke, I was rehashing everything again. “Mama always told Uncle Snap that she wouldn't give him a kid, but she did; at least, she was carrying when she went to NYC to do work for the old man up North.”
Taking my time, I tossed my towel away from me. I then locked eyes with Shanelle while we spoke. “While she was working with the old man, she saved his life by taking a bullet for the dude. It wasn't on purpose, she had said in her journal. She wrote that it just fell that way. But, according to the old man, it was on purpose because they had been ambushed by a rival family. He said there was a lot of blood. Too much blood, baby.”
Frowning, I knew what I was sharing about Mama would bring up my similar history with Shanelle. Emotion shimmered behind her eyes. I knew that she was putting the pieces together. My hands wrapped around Shanelle's legs; then I pulled her to me, so that I could lay a kiss on her temple, wrap her legs around me, and hold her close as I knew she enjoyed.
“She lost that baby in the middle of the battle. Blood everywhere. The Old Italian witnessed it and it broke his heart. His life was spared by her risking her own life, and sacrificing her child, and her ability to create life again. That started the life debt. I didn't know the full story of it all when I presented to him that I was cashing in on that debt but, in the end, it worked out for us, baby. We talked for hours and he understood why I chose that deep of a debt in my request for help in taking down the Irish.”
Pausing, I brushed my knuckles against Shanelle's neck to check if she was still listening and make sure she was okay before continuing. “The old man gave me a pass because Mama's kids were being attacked in a ruthless, dishonorable way. Besides, I learned that he and Mama had a small sexual thing in the past as well and that he was still in love with her.”
Eyes bugged out, Shanelle covered her mouth. I knew what I shared was bringing up our own pain and losses. There was no way around it, but I knew that I could bring her comfort, so I did. I leaned in to kiss her moist, fluttering eyelashes.
“Get out of here. Really?” she softly muttered, her voice coated in unshed tears.
“Yeah, baby.” I nodded with a lighthearted sigh. “It was hard to read all of that in the journals and hear it from the old man's mouth. Before going to NYC Mama and Snap fought over that.”
“Wait, is Luckyâ” Shanelle started.
“No. I actually was able to meet his mother. Funny enough, but not really because it broke my heart. She resembles Mama,” I explained then scratched my head. “If he was, I'm not too sure how I'd feel about that. I mean what's the point of all of what she had us do, you know?”
Resting her head against my chest, Shanelle closed her eyes and slid her hand against my stomach feeling my abs. “Maybe to give you both seats as a means to show her love and atone for her mistakes? I get why she was in tears when we lost our baby.”
What she said hit me heavy. If Lucky had been Mama's child from the affair with the Old Italian . . . damn. I couldn't call it though. The game would change and the idea that Mama set this all up for us both to rule would make for some interesting camaraderie within the Syndicate. Shaking that thought off, I moved on trying my best to not break down about Cory and Inez. I needed to check on the rest of the family before I did that, so I got up, and helped Shanelle up while thinking about Jojo and Naveen.
“I need to check on Jojo and Naveen, on all of them,” I said tilting Shanelle's chin up. “You good? Don't think I didn't see how you went commando on the Irish. That was the sexist shit I ever saw.”
She blushed when I said that. That brief flash of a blush wrapped me in a brief moment of light in the darkness that surrounded us.
“I had to hold it down, you know that. I had to for the family. I'd do it again if it would bring Cory and Inez back,” she said.
My silence was painful at the mention of them. It was one thing to think about them but hearing their names out loud brought back that fresh pain. I clenched my fists and looked away before standing up from the bed. In my mind I could imagine how pissed and scared they were when their truck flipped.
“Von?”
Their screams echoed in my mind. I felt hot suddenly. Felt burns over my flesh, smelling the scent of smoke, hearing the deep laugher of a male voice hurting me, then the memory of large hands snatching up Cory.
“Von!” Shanelle shouted at me.
I was losing it. I lost my brother because I wasn't strong enough for him. Lost him because I wasn't devoted enough for him. Then, Inez, I failed her the most. It's sad but I should have protected her from Cory. He wasn't who I thought he was. Wasn't able to separate himself from the demons. Fuck, I hadn't either. Everyone saw Shanelle and me as perfect but we weren't. I fucked up all the time, every day with her. I just learned from it and she forgave me. I wished my brother were here, not to tell him all of that but to show him that I accepted him and not the addict he became.
“Von!” I heard again.
Turning and shifting against the sheets, my name being shouted again had me drowsily opening my eyes. Face pressed against my pillow while I lay on my side, I realized that I was staring into the teary-eyed gaze of Shanelle. She sat on her knees in bed with her hands against my arm hovering over me. The panic and worry in her voice had me waking up further.
“Your hands are bleeding, baby,” she softly said coming to me to gently take my hands. “Von, you dug your fingers in your palms.”
“I fucked up with Cory and Inez, baby, I really did,” was all I said as she took care of me and I watched her in my pain.
* * *
An hour later, I sat downstairs, staring at Mama's picture again in my thoughts. My elbows rested on my knees. My hands pressed together resting against my lips. I stared at Mama's face, ready to speak to her until I heard someone enter the parlor. Looking toward him, I saw it was Uncle Snap. That hurt was still in his eyes.
I had my reasoning for what I did, in keeping the truth from him. I hoped he understood it when I shared it with him, but if he didn't, there wasn't shit I could do. I honestly loved the man like my father. Hell, he was the only father I knew. My real old man was so old and inactive there wasn't shit he could do for me as a child. There was no love lost there. But if anything happened to Uncle Snap, especially with Mama gone, I'd be a broken man. People always thought Shanelle was my weakness, and she slightly was, but in reality my family as a whole was my weakness, with Uncle Snap at the lead.
“Uncle . . .” I started.
He stepped forward ready to talk but Jojo walked by and it stopped me.
“Later,” I said to him and he bobbed his head taking a seat where I motioned. “Jojo, hol' up, baby brother. Come here for me please.”
The sound of his kicks squeaking in the kitchen let me know he had heard me. I knew Naveen was in there as well, because I heard him mumbling to himself about someone eating all the grape jelly. It seemed to me that today would be a good moment to have my talk.
“Naveen, you too, bro,” I yelled then sat back.
I could see Shanelle peeking on the steps. She looked good in her college-cut shorts, tank, hair pulled up in a bun, and barefoot. I gave her a nod and she sat on a step keeping herself inconspicuous.
Once my brothers walked in and saw Uncle Snap, I knew how they both shifted on their feet that they knew a major discussion was about to go down. Taking a seat in front of us, Uncle Snap set his Mason glass down, which had crushed ice and water in it this time, then gave both young men hugs and daps.
Shifting on the edge of my chair, I looked between the both of them with my fingers pressed against my lips. “We lost Cory and we lost Inez. I'm being real honest here for you both because I realized from what they said that I haven't been here for any of you all like I should have, like I thought I was. I was to start off by saying I've messed up deeply and I'm sorry. Their deaths are on me. I should have been more focused and kept them here, or at least kept them better protected.”
Disappointed at myself, my gaze fell on Jojo and I exhaled. “See, I didn't hold up to my responsibility as a brother in that and I let the whole family down while sending Cory and Inez to their deaths. Mama wouldn't put up with how I acted, I know it.”
I sat quietly swallowing down my pain, and when I saw Jojo open his mouth, I held up a hand. “One more thing. I want you all to know I'm here. I'm willing to open myself right now and show you all that I'm not perfect. Not in how I am individually as a man but also how I've handled my relationship with Shanelle. Cory was a good man, who had demons that just ate at him and seeped out. We all fallâ”
“I was with my birth mom when Mama was killed,” Jojo interrupted. He reached up to slide his glasses off and slid the palm of his hand over his face. “She had hit me up and asked to see me. So I was with her.”
Naveen shifted to the side to stare at Jojo. Before I could even ask why, Naveen handled it for me. “Why? How y'all even link up, man? Where the hell did that come from?” he said incredulous. His fingers dug into his legs to keep his cool, as he usually did. Navy waited for a response shaking his head. “How she find you, bro?”
Water leaked from Jojo's dark eyes. He exhaled, shaken, and dropped his head back looking at the ceiling. “It happened about a year ago. I was working at Subway, right, and she came in. Said she'd been looking for me for years and that she just needed to see me. At first I didn't know it was her, didn't believe her, so I tried to ignore her. When she showed up at my school I got scared and decided to look up my file.”
Damn,
echoed in my mind. Our files were sealed. We all were wards of the state so getting into our files could be hard, but with talents like Jojo and Naveen it could be simple as one, two, three.
“That's what you had me breaking into? The state files of your background info?” Navy asked with wide eyes.
“Yeah. All I needed was Mama's info and I took that from her room and found out about her. Learned that woman was my birth mom. I decided to talk with her after that since she kept coming to my job. When I quit Subway, I used that time to spend it with her. She's my mom. I wanted to know why she . . .” Jojo broke off in his words.
I knew that he was reflecting on when we found him and it broke my heart. Standing I walked to him and pulled him into a hug. I understood that Navy didn't get what was going on and it wasn't my place to share that.
“I can't . . . I . . .” Jojo dropped his head and shook it. “Fuck. So that day, I was with her. She was sick, like, she kept asking me to get her some drugs, so I got it. I stole some from Cory and Inez and gave it to her with the stuff I was making, just so she would talk with me. That was the day Mama died. My birth mom was ODing and I had keep her chill; that's what took my time. I'm so sorry.”
“All because you wanted to know what?” Navy asked standing. Pain made Navy's voice crack and he stepped back looking at us as if we were crazy. “Mama died so you could feed your junkie mama dope?”
“Hey, chill with that, Navy,” I said. “You don't know the whole story.”
“Fuck the whole story. Mama died so he could . . .”
I gave a quick glance at Jojo and he gave me a nod of the head letting me know it was time for Navy to know.
“So he could find out why the fuck she sold him to a pedophile old woman!” I shouted. “I found him in some bushes, covered in bruises and his own shit. Just like you, Navy. Just like you! He ran and I found him.”