Read The Tell-Tale Start Online
Authors: Gordon McAlpine
The Tell-Tale Start (18 page)
“Oh, we’re learning about much more than just geography,” the boys answered.
“Such as?” Aunt Judith asked.
“Well, we learned it gets hot inside monkey suits,” Allan said.
“And we learned it’s a good idea to pee every time Uncle Jack stops the car for gas, whether we have to or not.”
“No, I’m serious,” Aunt Judith protested, ever the professional educator. “Tell me something you two have learned that you didn’t know before.”
“Hey, peeing is a serious matter when you’re in a car for thousands of miles,” Allan insisted.
“Yeah,” added Edgar, “and it’s no small thing to know
that next time we wear monkey suits we’ll put ice cubes in our underwear to stay cool.”
Exasperated, Aunt Judith put her hands over her face.
“OK, Aunt Judith,” Allan said, taking pity on her. “We did learn some new things about quantum entanglement. Is that serious enough for you?”
Aunt Judith perked up, smiling back at the boys.
“I don’t understand that quantum stuff,” Uncle Jack said.
Neither did the boys—at least, not completely. But that didn’t bother them. Actually, little did bother them now that they had a purring Roderick Usher on their laps and the latest books in the True Tales of Horror series (a gift from the mayor) to keep their joined minds occupied.
“Maybe someday we should write our own ‘true tale of horror,’” Edgar suggested to his brother.
“Good idea. Except…nothing horrible ever happens to us.”
“Yeah, it’s too bad our lives are so dull,” Edgar said.
Allan shrugged. “Maybe we’ll get lucky someday.”
“Right,” Edgar said hopefully. “Maybe something truly horrible lies in wait for us just around the next corner.”
WHAT THE POE TWINS DID NOT KNOW…
LOCAL NEWSPAPER ARTICLE PUBLISHED TWO DAYS AFTER THE POE FAMILY’S DEPARTURE FROM KANSAS
Kansas City Post, Crime Section,
PAGE C-1
CRIMINAL PROFESSOR ESCAPES CUSTODY
CENTERVILLE, Kan. — Centerville Police Chief John J. Stanley confirmed today that Professor S. Pangborn Perry (a.k.a. Professor Marvel), mastermind of the criminal activity recently uncovered at the Gale Farm and OZitorium, has escaped from the Centerville Hospital, where he’d been under observation for a head injury. Police warn citizens that he is to be considered armed and dangerous.
At approximately two p.m., a nurse entered the room and discovered Professor Perry’s police guard unconscious on the floor. The guard had been injected with a sedative intended for Professor Perry. Police officials speculate that Professor Perry feigned unconsciousness for an unspecified period of time before attacking his guard. Security video further indicates that Professor Perry, who was believed to be confined to a wheelchair, actually ran out of the hospital, making a speedy escape.
Police have issued an all-points bulletin and request that local residents report any sighting of the escaped felon to authorities.
Mr. Poe in the Great Beyond
Mr.
E. A. Poe had been demoted from the Fortune Cookie Division to the License Plate Division. Years of working on fortunes had taught him to get a message across with very few words. He had never fully appreciated the Japanese masters of haiku poetry when he was alive, but writing fortune cookies had opened his eyes. That was one of the good things about being in this place: you had a chance to appreciate new ideas. However,
everyone
agreed that one of the not-so-good things about this place was the License Plate Division.
Being brief is one thing, but trying to communicate secret messages via license plates is almost impossible. Of course, this was precisely why Mr. Poe was moved here by Mr. Shakespeare, who lectured him for what seemed
half an eternity about the cosmic dangers associated with secret inter-world messages (even Mr. Poe’s successful, life-saving altering of the
Kansas City Post
failed to persuade his boss).
Still, the License Plate Division?
“Isn’t that a little harsh, Mr. Shakespeare?” Mr. Poe asked when he was first demoted. “Come on, don’t you have any folk down there on Earth to whom you sometimes want to communicate words of advice or warning?”
In response, Mr. Shakespeare smiled, looking very much like the famous engraving of him in the First Folio of 1623. “Of course I do, Mr. Poe. But that’s the difference between you and me. You see, I left sufficient words of wisdom during my lifetime to see to such things for all eternity.”
If Mr. Poe wasn’t already half bald, he would have pulled out tufts of his hair in frustration. But he chose not to give Mr. Shakespeare the satisfaction of seeing him lose his temper. Instead, he shrugged and pretended to appreciate the “new challenge” of the License Plate Division.
What choice did he have?
Still, he wondered how he was ever to get worthwhile communiqués to his great-great-great-great grandnephews.
He knew that now whenever the boys ate Chinese food they received only ordinary fortunes. Surely they must feel abandoned, betrayed. It was very distressing.
But Mr. Poe remained persistent.
His first effort at working with license plates for a secret communication failed because it was too vague for the family to recognize as a sign of his presence in their lives—the fifth Poe. Jack, Judith, Edgar, Allan, and…Great-great-great-great Granduncle Edgar Allan. Instead, when the boys saw the plate on a passing car, they thought it a lighthearted reference to Roderick Usher.
Mr. Poe’s second effort was better, and he hoped Edgar and Allan would notice it and realize he’d been with them all along and would continue to be with them, every mile of their journey.
His third try was not nearly as cheery as the first two. Rather, it conveyed his concern over a new nefarious plot that he saw unfolding in the world of his beloved great-great-great-great grandnephews.
My thanks to those who lent a hand to Edgar, Allan, and me:
First, to Kelly Sonnack—my agent, friend, and honorary godmother to the Poe twins—who was always steadfast and encouraging, sharing her quick mind and generous heart to help bring Edgar and Allan to life.
To my editor at Viking, Sharyn November, whose expertise is exceeded only by her adventurous spirit, which resonates in these pages.
To Sam Zuppardi, whose unique vision and wit could charm even the most ghoulish of E. A. Poe’s creations.
To Eileen Savage, whose stylish book design brought it all together.
To my friends who read and commented on early drafts, particularly Roy Langsdon, Chris and Don Zappia, and Julie Jones.
Finally, no author has ever been blessed with finer inspirations for a story about smart, enterprising boys than I, thanks to my sons Jonathan, Shane, and Harlan.
And, once again, to Julie, whose love underlies and exceeds all my words. —G. M.
A great big thank you to Jade—will you marry me?—S. Z.
GORDON McALPINE
is the author of adult novels ranging from magical realism to hard-boiled literary mystery. This is his first work for younger readers. He lives with his wife in Southern California.
Visit the Poe twins at www.The-poes.net, and Gordon at www.gordonmcalpine.net.
