“But how can you be sure?”
Her fingers caressed his cheek. “I feel it in my bones. Just this morning I took a turn about the room without assistance. Could that be the way of an unhealthy woman?”
Hearing that, he rose up to look at her, appalled to hear what she’d done.
“It is the way of a stubborn woman. You might rush your own doom by being so foolish.”
She laughed softly…to which he scowled at her, angry that she did not take her illness seriously.
“My distress amuses you, does it?”
She said nothing, only smiling all the more as she put the cross back around her neck…and it distressed him to no end. He found her lightheartedness very difficult to understand.
“How can you be this way? Are you not concerned for yourself?”
Her answer was a wag of her head.
“What will be, will be. One cannot alter it. But I feel no need to pursue that course of thinking. I know in my heart that I will soon recover, so please do not burden your mind.”
Lowering his head, he frowned…utterly unconvinced. “You make light of your situation.”
She reached out to take his hand, and he gripped her slight fingers as she spoke in her soothing way.
“My love, there must be one of us who is an optimist. And since your thoughts are ever dark, I shall take it upon myself to be of good cheer.”
The cynic within him doubted her pretty outlook on the matter. And his stubborn nature tried to repres any hope that might dare to rise in his heart. But then she forced him to raise his head. Gently she pressed her lips to his, her hands soft on his cheeks. She was trying to weave one of her spells on him, attempting to use her loving nature to distract him. He tried his hardest to keep the scowl on his face.
But the sweetness of her kisses, placed so gently but firmly on his face and lips, were too much to fight off. Gently twining his arms around her, still aware of her frailty, he allowed himself to bask in her love…though he could not help adding a dash of cynicism.
“Stubborn wench, forcing hope upon me. What sort of man am I to be so easily defeated?”
She only laughed softly, resting her head on his shoulder.
*****
With the passing of several days, Guy gradually allowed himself to be a bit more optimistic…though cautiously so. Cassia seemed determined to prove him wrong, rising from bed not only to take turns about the room, but to wander across the hall to the nursery. Though he was glad to see her so determined, he still feared that she might be doing too much, and he often scolded her, though in a gentle way.
“Beloved, it pleases me to see you up and about, but do not rush your recovery. You must rest.”
She would smile, almost convincing him that she intended to listen. But he knew her better than that. He would see the little gleam in her eye, and each time he would smile to himself and think…
Obstinate little minx. You are the picture of a bullheaded woman. But oh, how I do adore you.
The familiar cries could be heard in the room across the hall. Guy stirred, the sounds of his children being something he’d grown used to in the last several weeks. But what he could not adjust to was the knowledge that his wife would attempt to rise instantly, going to them on her own instead of allowing the children’s nurse to see to them.
He and Cassia were allowed to share their bed again, though they merely slept in it and nothing more. Intimacy was not permitted so soon after the birth, a fact which Guy understood and accepted. He was just glad to have her at his side.
But some time during the night, he would feel the weight of the bed shift. She tried to slip away quietly, perhaps hoping that he would not notice. But he
did
notice. Occasionally he would just let her go, pretending to sleep so she could have her way.
He understood why she did it. She was fearful of losing the bond with her children, for she’d confessed as much to him on many occasions. The young nurse, Rebecca, was a kind and gentle caretaker, and they both liked her well enough. But Cassia was mournful at the idea of someone else looking after her son and daughter. At times she broke into tears over the idea of it, and despite everyone’s urgings that she should allow Rebecca to see to her duty, she often rose during the night to see to their nursing herself.
She was going now. He saw her slipping from the bed, slipping into her robe. He reached out to grasp her hand.
“You must rest,” he insisted. “Rebecca is capable of seeing to them during the night.”
“I know, but I must go to them. I cannot help my feelings.”
She would go, no matter how he tried to convince her otherwise. And as he had done so many times in recent weeks, he rose and put on his own robe, following her into the room across the hall.
Rebecca was there at the cradle, picking up Thea…the shortened name they now called her by. While Cassia took William in her arms, Guy came to gently take his daughter to himself. Knowing it was what his wife desired…and in truth, it was his desire as well…he quietly instructed Rebecca to return to her bed.
“We shall take them in with us,” he said to her. “Go back to sleep.”
She curtseyed, doing as he bid her to. Then he followed Cassia back to the bedroom.
He sat beside her on the bed, watching as she put William to her breast. They’d done this ritual many times before, and it never ceased to amaze him. It was quite moving to behold her with their children, loving and nursing them. He wondered how anyone would look at something so beautiful and find it repulsive. It was incredible, too, how just the sound of her voice seemed to sooth their cries. It seemed they knew her instantly, and he wondered if they would ever have that connection with him. He looked down at his daughter, who was staring up at him with shining eyes.
“Do you suppose they know who I am?”
Cassia smiled. “If they do not now, they will in time. But I think they are becoming familiar with you. Thea quiets when you speak to her, and William watches you with curious eyes. I think he studies you.”
Guy smiled at the thought that he might be a source of interest, and not fear, to his children. He hoped it would always be so, for he was finding that fatherhood was fast becoming a role he enjoyed very much.
*****
Of all the surprises he’d had in his life, his absolute delight with his daughter was something he would never have expected. He adored both of his children, but there was a fondness for his little girl that he just could not express. She could be quite tempestuous at times. When she was hungry or in need of a changing, she wailed loud and strong and could not be ignored. She demanded attention, protesting when left alone in her cradle.
William was quite different, content to entertain himself by chewing his tiny fist or kicking his hands and feet, which were in constant happy motion. He liked to be held, but did not fuss when placed in his bed. Cassia quite often remarked that she saw great intelligence in his eyes, and Guy liked to imagine that such a keen mind would make his boy a very important man someday. He’d always imagined having a son…the pride that would swell in his heart at having an heir, knowing that he’d done his duty as a man. He felt it each time he looked at William. No man could be more delighted with a son than he was.
But he’d never imagined the incredible feeling of love he would feel when holding a daughter. That precious little thing, with her tuft of black hair and soft blue eyes, framed by long lovely lashes, already had him wrapped around her tiny finger, and he found he wasn’t the least bit ashamed to admit it.
What he loved most about his daughter…and he knew it was a selfish delight…was that she seemed to prefer him to anyone else. She protested loudly when approached by Rebecca or any other members of the household. With her mother it was less so, reduced to whimpering and fussiness. But when held by her father, she became quiet and gentle. He even took to calling her his “little lamb.” No one seemed to know what power he had that could calm her so easily, and he was never sure of it himself. He only knew that he reveled in it. Other than his wife…and Stuart…he’d never been anyone’s favorite before, and he found he enjoyed it very much.
At times when he looked at his daughter, he thought of all the women he’d known in his lined havind how badly he had treated most of them. They had all been this innocent once, this delicate and fragile. Suddenly he understood the protectiveness Robert DeWarren had once had for Cassia. Thinking of all the dangers in the world…particularly of men such as he had once been…it was terrifying to imagine his little girl falling prey to such things. And he vowed then and there that he would never let anything of the kind happen to her.
One afternoon he said so to Cassia as they strolled along the beach, each of them with a babe in their arms, letting their children enjoy the warmth of a fine summer day.
“I do not think I shall ever allow Thea to marry. No man will ever do for her, of that I am certain.”
Cassia seemed quite amused by his declaration, laughing softly.
“I am certain that when she comes of age, she will have much to say to the contrary. She will look to her father to find her a reasonable match, and I am sure you will do your utmost best to make her happy.”
To that he only grumbled…and Cassia smiled at his protective nature.
“Whomever she does marry, they will have quite a fearsome father-in-law to contend with. I do not envy them that.”
Now it was he who smiled. “I
shall
be fearsome. For the man that takes my daughter from me shall have to prove himself ten times over, and even then I may not be convinced of his worth.”
Cassia laughed again, stretching up to kiss his cheek, and they walked on.
*****
Before retiring for the night, Guy ventured into the nursery to look at his children. William lay in his bed, quite content in his kicking and drooling as he gummed a silver rattle. Guy picked him up, smiling at the tight grip his son kept on the toy. For one so small, his son was quite strong, and it made his heart swell with pride.
But Thea was not so happy. She was quite red-faced, crying as Rebecca walked about the room with her. As Rebecca turned, she saw Guy watching.
“Oh, good evening, Sir Guy.”
He put William back down in his cradle. Then he stepped forward, examining the distressed face of his daughter. “What has troubled her this time?”
Rebecca sighed. “She has just been changed, my lord. I am afraid it does not please her.”
He smiled as he reached for his daughter.
“My lamb, you are truly your mother’s child. So headstrong.”
Just as he anticipated, the moment he placed her against his shoulder, she became quite dole. It wasn’t long before she was asleep…he knew it from the sound of her breathing. Handling her with great delicacy, he placed her in her bed…and then, bidding pleasant dreams to both of his children, he crossed the hall to his own bedchamber.
Cassia was lying in bed, seemingly asleep. He could not blame her for being exhausted. Not only was she a mother, but of late, she had taken up the duty of caring for the sick, both at home and around the estate. He was not pleased with it at first, fearing that she would put herself at risk for catching the illnesses she treated. But she scoffed at his worrying, insisting that she had spent most of her life exposed to all manner of sickness. She had not caught her death yet, she said, and so she was not afraid.
Her work sometimes left her quite worn out, but she insisted it was a happy exhaustion. It pleased her to do good, and he knew that the tenants thought her to be an angel in disguise. They always spoke so fondly of her, and it made him proud…almost giddy…to know that at the end of every day, he was coming home to be with her. She was his, and his alone, and he wondered if any man had ever been as content in marriage as he was.
After his valet helped him remove his boots, he dismissed the help. It had been a long day, and he wanted no company besides his wife. He moved about the room and blew out the candles, leaving only the light of the fire. Going to the bed, he sat down to remove his clothes, tossing them over a chair. He slipped under the sheet, moving against his wife’s side. Putting his arm around her, he put his head on his pillow and closed his eyes.
“Working your magic on our children once again, are you?”
The sudden sound of her voice brought his eyes open. He looked down at her and smirked.
“I thought you were sleeping?”
She shook her head. “I am not in need of sleep.”
For a moment he studied her, noting the inflection in her voice. Then, underneath the covers, he felt the sensation of her foot against his leg.
“Your feet are cold,” he said.
She smirked up at him. “That is why I put them there. They are in need of warmth.”
The way she was looking at him, he suddenly realized what was on her mind. She was amorous…he could see it in her eyes. And it thrilled him along every nerve he possessed. But it seemed too good to be true. The very last thing he had wanted was to hurt her in any way, and for the sake of her health, they’d refrained from full marital relations for a little over two months. She’d found ways to please him without resuming the deepest intimacy, and while it satisfied his basic needs, he missed the great emotional and spiritual bonding they’d had before.
But now, here they were together. She was looking at him with such clear intentions…and he prayed that it wasn’t just his imagination.
She slinked her arms around him, moving herself so that her body lay pressed against his. They were breast to breast, nose to nose. Her voice was soft and warm.
“I was thinking, my love, that we are mother and father. But we must not forget that we are also husband and wife.”
His breath quickened as he spoke. “Are you certain?”
Her answer was a seductive, loving smile. “Quite certain.”
He was thrilled for a moment. But then his expression fell. “What if I should harm you in some way?”
Her smile became one of amusement.
“There is no danger. It has been nearly ten weeks since the children were born. I have been walking daily, regaining my strength and energy. I feel fully restored to my previous state of health. And I have missed you very much.”
He smiled, his eyes shining with love. “As I have missed you.”
She kissed him then, and as he kissed her back, he gave a silent plea of thanks that his beloved was returned to him…returned to him, body and soul.
*****
“Would you suppose it indecent if we were to go on a picnic tomorrow?”
He smiled at her proposal. They lay blissfully content and entwined, as they had been so many times before. Her head rested against him, her fingers gently stroking his skin. When they were together in this way, he knew the very nature of her thoughts.
A picnic, indeed.
He could not help teasing her.
“Why on earth would you want to go on a picnic? Tomorrow is the Sabbath.”
“Yes, I know. What of it?”
“Would you rather not spend your day in holy worship?”
She lifted her head and gave him an indignant look…to which he smirked. And in response she gave him a fist to the shoulder.
“Worship indeed,” she replied. “I shall find quite enough of that in church. But after that, I want to be with you, and you alone. Are you aware of how long it has been since we’ve been absolutely without company?”
“Too long,” he replied. “In all honesty, I cannot recall the last time.”
“Not since our honeymoon trip.
That
is how long it has been. And much as I adore our children and our family, I feel a great need to have my husband all to myself, even if it is only for a little while.”
When she was being this way, so eager for him, he adored her more than ever. He threaded his fingers through her hair, gntly cradling her head in his hands as he gazed at her. The corner of his mouth rose up…and a wicked gleam shown in his eyes.
“You
shall
have me to yourself. And perhaps we will spend more than an afternoon together.”
She smirked, her own eyes starting to shine with mischief. “More than an afternoon, hmm?”
He brought her lips to his, kissing her repeatedly between the words he spoke.
“Perhaps we will slip away early in the morn, before anyone has the chance to encounter us.”
“We shall cause a scandal with such behavior.”
Gently he rolled her to her back. His kisses traveled a path downwards.
“Yes, I am certain we will.”
“People shall talk, you know.”
“Let them, then. I have been the ill subject of many discussions. It is of little consequence to me.”
She giggled, her hands ruffling softly in his hair. “Wicked man. I thank the maker that you are not so decent as some. What a dull existence that would be.”
He chuckled, continuing to worship her with his lips, his touch, and all the love he had in his heart.
Once, a long time ago, wickedness had held a truly evil connotation when attached to his name. But now he took it as the best of endearments, because he knew it was born of pure love. Her passionate kisses, her sweet embraces…each adoring look and loving word were a reminder to him of how very fortunate he was. He was deeply loved, and for the first time in his life, he felt deserving of that love.