The Thunder Lord: The de Shera Brotherhood Book One (Lords of Thunder: The de Shera Brotherhood 1) (17 page)

Before dawn, the Lords of Thunder were on the road back to Isenhall.

Isenhall Castle

Another storm had hit on the journey back to Isenhall, but with this storm came snow. The storm earlier in the week that had provided all of the thunder and lightning had been cold, but this storm was freezing. Massive amounts of white stuff poured from the sky and the temperature plummeted, making for truly miserable traveling.

Because of Henry’s threat against Isenhall, Gallus, Maximus, and Tiberius had taken two hundred men-at-arms from Westbourne to take them back to Isenhall to reinforce the ranks there. That left Westbourne with a little over one hundred men to protect her, but it didn’t matter much considering Gallus wasn’t there, and Henry wanted Gallus. Therefore, there wasn’t much worry for Westbourne.

A trip from London to Isenhall that should have taken six or seven days at most, ended up taking almost fourteen days due to the foul weather. Along with the two hundred men and several wagons, Gallus also brought the horses he had confiscated from Honore’s fleet, eight fine animals in all, and they spent a good deal of time wrapping the horses’ legs with wool and blanketing the animals with fur so they wouldn’t freeze in the snow. They had a heavy, winter coat but it wasn’t enough against the blowing snow.

Gallus made a point every night of finding a town to sleep in, paying peasants for the use of their barns, homes, and outbuildings to house his army. Maximus, in charge of the horseflesh, would spend his time unwrapping horse legs and rubbing them with warmed wine or ale, as the alcohol wouldn’t freeze and tended to keep the animals’ legs in good shape. Every night, before a fire, Maximus would tend his new brood, including the spectacular, silver charger he adored. The animal was starting to come around, accepting treats and pets from Maximus without trying to rip his hand off. It was progress.

On the fifteenth day after leaving London, the tall, snow-bound walls of Isenhall came into view in the distance, but it took them almost a day to reach it because of the difficulty in traveling over the snowy, frozen, muddy road. Eventually, they reached their destination and the great iron and oak gates of Isenhall opened wide for her returning sons.

The bailey was a great jumble of dirty snow banks and soupy mud, and it took the incoming party some time to settle in. While Maximus took the horses and wagons to the stables, Tiberius ordered the men into the great hall or into the bottom floor of the keep, anywhere they could dry off and warm up. As the half-frozen men disbursed, Gallus, after turning his horse over to a groom, headed into the keep.

A great gust of wind caught him just as he opened the door to the keep, nearly shoving him inside as it whistled through the entry hall. Gallus heard women shriek as he shoved the door closed, half-blind from the wind and cold. A warm fire was off to his left and he stumbled towards it, pulling off his gloves and wiping at his eyes. Violet and Lily were suddenly at his feet, screaming in excitement, but Gallus gently pushed them back.

“Nay, ladies, not yet,” he told them. “I am covered with snow. You will get wet. Let me take my outer clothing off before you touch me.”

The little girls wriggled and jumped around, impatient, as Gallus tossed his gloves onto the nearby table and went to unfasten his fur cloak. His eyes were becoming more accustomed to the dim light around him and the first thing he saw, after his daughters, was Honey standing a few feet away. He smiled when he saw his mother.

“The weather gods have not been kind since we left London,” he told her. “How long has it been snowing like this?”

Honey watched her son as his frozen fingers struggled to untie the cloak that was covered in ice. “Weeks, at least,” she said. “Are you well, Gallus?”

Gallus nodded his head. “Max and Ty are with me,” he said. “We are all well.”

“Excellent.”

She didn’t say anymore and Gallus wiped at his eyes again, blinking them to focus on her. For the first time since entering the keep, he took a good look at the woman and noticed that she looked particularly pale. She was so pale that she was nearly green in countenance and he became very concerned.

“What is the matter?” he asked her, picking up Lily because she was clinging to his leg. “Are you ill?”

Honey was wrapped in a heavy rabbit cloak, the top layer of several layers of clothing she was wearing. The keep of Isenhall was only marginally warm and that was because of the blazing fires in every room to ward off the ice radiating from the very walls. Even so, she was greatly affected by the cold and the past several weeks, in addition to the cold, had not been pleasant ones. Ominous tidings were afoot.

“You know I am ill,” she said quietly. “I have been ill for some time yet you and your brothers refuse to acknowledge it. It has grown worse, Gallus. I have been quite ill since you left.”

Gallus looked at her, stricken. Sorrow was already creeping into his veins as he reached out and grasped for the woman’s hand, buried beneath the cloak. He brought her very cold hand to his lips and kissed it.

“I am sorry to hear that,” he said sincerely. “I left the surgeon here with you. What has he said?”

Honey hissed. “Pah,” she spat. “Your surgeon is meant for men and Gaerwen required his attention day and night. I sent for a physic from Coventry.”

“Is he here?”

Honey nodded. “He has been here for over four weeks,” she replied. “He has taken a room on the top floor of the keep. We have been daily companions, he and I. He says I will not live out this year.”

Gallus didn’t want to hear that. His breath caught in his throat and he held his mother’s hand tightly, clasping it against his frozen cheek. “That is not true,” he whispered, closing his eyes tightly to ward off the agony. “He must be wrong.”

Honey watched her eldest as he struggled with his fear. The fear of losing a parent was a horrible, lonely fear for every child. She tried to feel some pity for him at the moment, innate motherly pity, but she couldn’t muster it. At least, not now. She was still quite angry at him for leaving for London without bidding farewell to his family. Perhaps it was her anger at him that had brought about the ill health. In any case, she hadn’t felt well since he had left.

“It is true,” she said, her voice quiet. “You know it is true yet you refuse to believe it. Gallus, I do not need your doubt any longer. You must face the facts and so must your brothers. I have a cancer in my belly that is weakening me by the day and ignoring it will not change things.”

Gallus’ head came up and he looked at her, turmoil in his eyes. “I will send for another physic,” he said. “One who is more competent than the one you have engaged.”

Honey shook her head. “Nay, Gallus,” she said, more strongly. “That will not change the way of things. I need for you to face the truth. We must all die at some point. The difference is that I know that my time is approaching soon. What I do not need is for you and your brothers to ignore the truth and I do not need the added stress of you running off for London without telling anyone you are leaving. What on earth made you do such a thing?”

It was then that Gallus began to realize that Jeniver was nowhere in sight. It was Violet, Lily, and Honey to greet him as he returned. Gallus began to look around.

“Where is my wife?” he asked.

Honey sighed heavily, shaking her head with disapproval. “Do you truly care?” she asked. “You ran off without telling the woman you were leaving and that led her, and me, to believe that you did not care. She is not here and I am sure that does not matter to you.”

Gallus set Lily down on her feet. His expression was tense. “
Where
is she?”

Honey turned away from him and shuffled over to a stool next to the fire. Slowly, she lowered herself down. “Gone,” she said. “She left and took Gaerwen back to Wales with my blessing.”

Gallus stood there, his brow furrowing with confusion. “With your
blessing
?” he repeated. “What in the hell are you talking about? I told her that I would escort her back to Wales when I returned from London.”

Honey cocked an eyebrow. “Since you did not bid us farewell when you left, we had no way of knowing when you were returning,” she said, bitterly. “Gaerwen wanted to go home, so she took him.”

Gallus was stunned. “
Gaerwen
wanted to go home?” he repeated. “The man did not die?”

Honey shook her head. “If you ever sought contact with your family while you were gone, you would have known that,” she said. “He will more than likely pass at some point soon but he did not wish to die in England, so your wife took him and the rest of their traveling party home.”

Gallus was struggling to overcome his shock over the fact that Gaerwen had survived. It seemed like a miracle considering the man’s state when last he saw him. He was also overcome with the news that his wife had left Isenhall. He scratched his forehead, his disbelief evident.

“When did she leave?” he finally asked.

Honey looked at him and Gallus could see tears forming in her eyes. He was shocked. Truly shocked. He hadn’t seen his mother cry since his father passed away and, at that moment, he began to see the gravity of what he’d done. What his cowardice and confusion had cost him in ways he couldn’t begin to fathom, but he was starting to. The look on Honey’s face was a gateway to understanding the anguish he had caused.

“After you ran off, Jeniver was truly shattered,” Honey said. “Gallus, I do believe she loved you, or at least she thought she did. With her father as ill as he was, was it fair of you to leave her as you did? Was it fair to any of us? The very least you could have done was to bid the woman a farewell, but you did not even have enough respect for her to do that. You gave her hope that her life would continue in spite of her father’s terrible injury, that she would raise a family of her own with you, but then you crushed that hope. Did I truly raise you to be so careless and cruel? For the first time in my life, I am ashamed of you. You are not the son I raised. You are not a man of honor because a man of honor would not have done what you did.”

She looked away, back to the fire, wiping daintily at her nose as Gallus stood there and watched. He felt as if all of the wind had just been sucked out of him, as if an unseen fist had punched him in the gut and he could no longer draw air. There were no words to describe his humiliation or sorrow, things he had brought down upon himself. Gazing at his mother’s lowered head, for the first time, he was ashamed of something he had done. That had never happened before.

“Oh… God,” he hissed, sinking down onto the nearest bench, near a table in the entry hall. The helm came off and he set it upon the tabletop, raking cold fingers through his hair. “I… I do not even know what to say to all of this.”

Honey sniffled loudly. “Say nothing,” she said. “But I suppose at some point you should go to Wales. She is your wife, after all. Mayhap you can learn to tolerate the woman and at least be civil to her.”

Gallus shook his head, hanging it with shame. “You do not understand.”

Honey wouldn’t listen. “It is my fault, I suppose, for forcing you into a marriage you did not want,” she said. “I never thought you would humiliate me the way you did, nor did I believe you would hurt a young woman who was truly at your mercy. But I was wrong.”

A beating would have been less painful. Honey’s words were cutting deep into his heart. He couldn’t even spare a moment to focus on his daughters, who were trying to climb on him. All he could do was feel gutted, empty, and humbled.

“My behavior is indefensible,” he mumbled. “You believe I hate her… I am afraid it is the exact opposite. She… she frightened me, Mother. She is a beautiful and intelligent woman and I found myself… God, I was so confused and… and
guilty
. I was guilty for feeling something for her when I am still mourning Catheryn. Dear God, I ran… I ran away because I knew I felt something for Jeniver and I simply couldn’t face it. I was terrified.”

Honey was looking at him by now, listening to him stammer his way through his speech. She believed him, but it didn’t change things. “You have always run from things you do not wish to face,” she said. “You have run away from your grief over Catheryn’s passing. It is little wonder you cannot face it. Now, you run away because you feel something for Jeniver. Gallus, the mark of a true man is not how many battles he fights or how many men he kills. The mark of a true man is in his heart and in his actions. It is how he loves and is loved. Your actions clearly told Jeniver that you had no use for her and no respect. You should have faced your fear, no matter what.”

Gallus hung his head. “I could not,” he whispered. “I could not feel something for her and have my heart ripped out again. If spending a mere day with the woman and knowing I could feel something for her is terrifying, can you imagine what would happen if I spend my entire life with her? I will not be able to breathe for want of her. I would move the sun and moon and stars and even move the heavens if she wished it. And then when it is torn from me, violently… it would destroy me. I would explode into a million dark pieces of pain.”

Honey was listening to him seriously. “So you would run from your emotions rather than welcome something that very few people ever know?” she asked softly. “Gallus, you had the blessing of a wonderful marriage with Catheryn. You loved her and she loved you. But that love is never gone. It is simply tucked back into your memory, something to visit on occasion and remember with a smile. If it is true that you feel something for Jeniver, mayhap love again, then you should not run from it. It is the greatest gift of all and you should consider yourself extremely fortunately to have known it twice in a lifetime.”