The Ties That Bind (14 page)

"I think," he said softly, "that if we're married, you'll be more reasonable about some things."

"Less likely to play spy, for example?" she got out through clenched teeth.

"I've already told you I don't believe you were playing corporate spy the other night."

For some reason the deliberately soothing tone of his voice enraged her. Shannon realized she was trembling with the force of her reaction. It was ludicrous. Here she was receiving a proposal of marriage from the man she loved, and all she wanted to do was hurl it back in his face because she was getting it for all the wrong reasons. "You want to marry me because you've decided you want to go on sleeping with me and you think you'll find our weekend affair more comfortable if you have more control over me. Does that about sum it up, Garth? Have I got all the facts straight?"

"I'm not talking about controlling you, damn it, I'm talking about protecting you."

"It's a matter of opinion."

The whiskey glass came down on the end table with a violent crash as Garth surged to his feet. Shoving his hands into his pockets in a gesture that made his tension plain, he stalked to the far end of the small, cozy room and turned to glare at her. "Shannon, I am not blaming you for what happened the other night. I'm blaming myself. I shouldn't have allowed you to be put into a position where you could get used the way you were used. I want to protect you. I want to keep you out of that side of my life. I don't want you getting sucked into the back-stabbing and the politics of my world. You're not cut out for it."

"You mean I'm too dumb and naive to survive in it, don't you? I'll tell you something, Garth. I don't know which I prefer least-having you think I'm a corporate spy or having you think I'm too naive to be one. Neither is a compliment to me. You've got a hell of a lot of nerve showing up on my doorstep tonight saying you want to marry me, when all you really want to do is keep this affair of ours running on your terms. It's yourself you're trying to protect, Garth, not me. You think that if I'm wearing your ring I'll be easier to manage, less of an unknown quantity. You'll feel more in command, won't you?"

"Shannon, you're twisting my words. Now just calm down and think about this logically for a few minutes."

"I can't think logically. I'm an artist, remember? I'm temperamental, volatile and unpredictable. And I'll tell you something else, Garth, that much isn't going to change if I marry you. I'll still be just as temperamental, volatile and unpredictable. It's in the blood!"

"You're angry."

"Brilliant observation. I'm downright furious."

"Let me take you out to dinner. It will give you a chance to calm down," he suggested quietly.

"I don't want a chance to calm down!"

"Shannon, listen to me-"

"No, you listen to me," she shot back. "It's been hard enough trying to adjust to the idea of being your weekend mistress. I'll be damned if I'll play the role of weekend wife. You're right about one thing-I am a lot freer with things the way they have been. But I'll be freer still when I stop being available to you entirely."

He started toward her. "Shannon, you're all wound up. Calm down and give yourself some time to get accustomed to the idea. Don't say a lot of things you'll regret later."

"I won't regret any of this. The only things I do regret are the weekends I've already thrown away on you!"

"We've both had some adjusting to do-"

She didn't allow him to finish. "You haven't done any adjusting at all that I can see. I'm the only one who's been expected to adjust and that is coming to a halt right now. Go back to San Jose and your back-stabbing friends, Garth. I'm not in the market for a weekend husband or even a weekend lover."

His eyes glittered with a repressed fury that seemed to have sprung up out of nowhere. Shannon took an uncertain step backward, startled at the lightning change in his mood. Until now he had been frustratingly and infuriatingly calm. All of a sudden Shannon had the feeling she was facing a barely leashed storm.

"You love me." It was a statement, not a plea or a guess.

"Weekend lovers can fall out of love as quickly as they fall into it. It doesn't take much to ruin the mood. Just one lousy weekend!"

"Stop it, Shannon."

"I don't want you in my life," she flung back, goaded. "You're too hard and ruthless for my world. You're not cut out for it."

"You should have figured that out before you cornered me on the beach that first morning," he rasped. Then he was in front of her, crowding her against the wall and cutting off her escape. "Shannon, you can't walk away from what we have. Not now. It's much too late."

His mouth came down on hers, his arms going around her to lock her to him. Shannon gasped beneath the onslaught of his kiss, prepared to struggle with all her strength. But the moment his lips met hers, the fight went out of her. The hunger in him was as strong as ever, but now there was a kind of masculine desperation underlying the embrace. She sensed the need in him and knew with feminine intuition that it was far more than physical.

Garth's emotions ran deep. She had known that on some level the first morning she had approached him. A part of her had been convinced even then that he had the soul of a poet. The dark, brooding quality hadn't changed, not even when she had discovered him to be from the business world instead of the literary or artistic world. The compulsion she had felt to know him completely was as strong as ever in her, Shannon discovered. And the need to love him and quiet the dark tension in him was just as fierce.

"Garth..."

"Shannon, I don't want to be at war with you. I only want to take you in my arms and keep you safe. Love me, don't fight me." His mouth moved intimately on hers, seeking the reassurance of a response.

Shannon found herself struggling against both her own instincts and Garth's sensual pleasure. She tore her mouth free from his and braced her palms on his shoulders. "Not like this," she whispered. "You can't walk in here and put everything back the way it was by taking me to bed."

"I don't want things back the way they were. I want you to marry me." He framed her face with his large hands.

Shannon caught her breath and grabbed at the only lifeline she could see. "Dinner. You said you'd take me out to dinner."

His eyes narrowed for a moment. Then, with obvious reluctance, his hands fell away. "All right. Anything rather than have you throw me out the door."

Shannon realized her hands were shaking as she came away from the wall.

TELLING HIMSELF HE MUST BE satisfied with the small victory he had achieved, Garth treated Shannon with kid gloves for the rest of the evening. It was crazy to be feeling so relieved, but he was convinced he'd had a very near miss. He hadn't expected her to be so totally resistant to the idea of marrying him. Her reaction had taken him by surprise. He had convinced himself that she would be reassured by the proposal and instead found out that he was the one in need of reassurance.

It had all seemed so simple during the long drive form San Jose. He would tell Shannon that he had never really suspected her of corporate espionage, that somehow, someone had used her. It was the truth. When he'd seen that bid package fall out of her tote bag, he'd been stunned, but even in that moment he couldn't bring himself to believe his sweet Shannon was betraying him. The whole sorry mess would serve to illustrate exactly why he wanted her kept clear of his steel-trapped environment. She needed his protection, and he needed to know she was safe. On the surface, the proposal of marriage seemed logical and would provide reassurance for both of them.

But he hadn't realized just how deep her temperamental streak of independence went, Garth thought as he drove Shannon the short distance into town. Still, by morning everything should be back under control. When she was in his arms she melted completely. The last of her indignation and fear would be gone by morning. He'd see to it.

The small restaurant was located in an old farmhouse, and it was run by friends of Shannon's. The food was an interesting mix of traditional Creole cooking and nouvelle California cuisine. Garth made sure Shannon's wineglass was full during the meal. He decided he wasn't too proud to make use of the traditional soothing effect of alcohol on a woman. Hell, tonight he wasn't too proud to use any technique he could to lure Shannon back into his arms.

She didn't talk much during dinner, and Garth suspected that what little she did say was more to keep her friends from wondering about her mood than because she wanted to communicate with him. Most of the time she seemed lost in thought. As the meal progressed Garth realized he'd give a great deal to be able to read her mind.

Shannon had declined the pecan pie and was polishing off the last of the corn bread when a familiar greeting caused her to glance up. Garth looked up, too, and saw Annie O'Connor and Dan
Turcott
being seated at the table next to them.

"Hi, Shannon, Garth." Annie nodded pleasantly as Dan seated her. "What are you doing up here in the middle of the week, Garth? Shannon tells me you're only free on weekends."

"I made an exception this week." He knew he sounded forbidding, but he couldn't help it. Garth didn't feel like socializing tonight.

"Maybe it was fate," Dan said with a grin. "You can help us celebrate. Annie and I are getting married soon."

Garth eyed the other couple. "Congratulations."

"Isn't it great, Garth?" Shannon asked with suspicious blandness. "We just knew you'd approve."

He felt uncomfortable, convinced he was being set up and not sure how to handle it. There was a dangerous glitter in Shannon's eyes. "I do approve," he said simply. "As a matter of fact, I've just asked Shannon to marry me."

"That's wonderful!" Annie's eyes went quickly from Garth's face to that of her friend and then she reached over to hug a stiff Shannon. "The end of the weekend affair, Shannon," she murmured.

"Not quite," Shannon said loudly enough for everyone nearby to hear. "Garth's thinking of substituting a weekend marriage for the affair."

There was an embarrassed hush during which Garth was shocked to realize that he was flushing. A woman hadn't succeeded in embarrassing him this much since he was fourteen years old. In that moment he could cheerfully have bound and gagged Shannon and carried her bodily out of the restaurant. Annie O'Connor grinned knowingly.

"A weekend marriage will never work, Garth. You'll have to make some major modifications in your life-style, I'm afraid. Marriage is a very serious matter. It's not something you can conduct on the weekends. What good is a weekend husband?"

Garth knew he had just been repaid for the comments he had made that first night he'd been invited to dinner at Shannon's cottage. A sense of fair play made him acknowledge Annie's victory. "You have a point, Annie. I'll have to think about it. If you've finished gnawing on that corn bread, Shannon, we can be on our way." He paid the check without waiting to see if she was going to come along willingly. Sometimes you had to assume obedience in order to get it. It was a risk, but under the circumstances Garth couldn't think of anything else to do. He wanted to take Shannon home and make love to her. He definitely did not want to sit here and let her use Annie's and Dan's presence to bait him.

Garth got to his feet, hiding his inner fear that Shannon might simply continue to sit and chat with Annie and ignore him altogether. To his relief she reluctantly stood and said her good-nights. Garth hastened her out of the restaurant and into the waiting Porsche.

"That fog is rolling in late tonight," he said, trying for a neutral note in the conversation as he started the car. When he switched on the headlights the beams bounced back off a misty, swirling bank of fog. He lowered them and slowly edged the Porsche out onto the narrow road that would take them back to the cottage.

"Where are you going to stay, Garth?" Shannon asked calmly.

The question threw him. "Are you going to fight me down to the wire, honey?"

"That depends. Are you attacking?"

His fingers tightened on the wheel. "What do you think?"

She sighed and slumped back against the seat. "I don't know what to think Garth. I need some time."

"I'll give you time."

"Will you?"

The skepticism in her voice annoyed him. "You sound as if you don't trust me, Shannon. What have I ever done to make you distrust me?"

There was a short silence from the other seat. "Nothing," Shannon said at last. "You've been very honest with me right from the start."

"I'll always be honest with you, Shannon."

"I believe you."

"Then trust me enough to let me stay with you tonight," he urged. He didn't dare let her send him away, Garth thought. The situation was too fragile. It would be so easy for her to convince herself that she was better off without him. There was still too much uncertainty and wariness in her. Garth could feel the tangled, volatile emotions radiating from her.

"You can stay the night, Garth, mainly because I doubt if you'll be able to find a motel room at this hour without driving several miles. God knows you shouldn't be traveling far in this pea soup."

Garth sucked in his breath, hoping she didn't hear the relief in his voice. "You see how easy it is to slip into a protective role, Shannon? Now you're doing it yourself."

"I'm not being protective, I'm being practical. By the way, if you do stay the night, you'll have to use the spare bed in my studio."

He heard the determination in her voice and stifled a short, blunt curse. "Anything you say, honey." One step at a time, Garth told himself. It was clearly going to take a while to lure her back into the protection of his arms, but he could do it. She loved him, he thought. All she needed was a little time to remember that fact.

Sometimes, Garth knew, it took a while to get things into perspective. He had been learning that lesson himself during the past year. Slowly but surely during the past few months he had been coming to terms with some of the dissatisfaction and restlessness he had been feeling for a long time. He still hadn't reached all the conclusions but he knew that deep within himself he was getting ready to alter his life.