The Time of Her Life (20 page)

“I only decorated outside. I didn’t want to go in without
you.”

Keeping those boundaries firmly in place. She understood. “You
could have, you know.”

“I know. But if my plan works, I won’t have to.”

“What plan?”

“You’ll see. Done admiring my handiwork yet?” He swept a hand
toward the newly decorated cottage.

She nodded.

He threw the golf cart into gear so fast that she grabbed onto
the frame and hung on for dear life. Wheeling around the cottage, he drove onto
the path leading back to the facility. His excitement was contagious, and she
was melting inside because of his thoughtfulness. They didn’t go far, and he
surprised her when he slowed to make the turn into his backyard.

“Jay, what are—”

“Just wait.” He wheeled onto the flagstone path. “I want you to
close your eyes. I’d cover them just to make sure you don’t peek, but I
obviously can’t do that and drive.”

She laughed. “Okay, no peeking.”

Somehow sitting beside him with her eyes closed heightened her
awareness of his excitement. She could practically feel his anticipation,
although she couldn’t explain why. But it was there between them, had been since
the first, a connection that made being with this man so easy.

The golf cart slowed then jerked to a stop. Followed by the
barking. A welcome. A furry body brushed against her and she kept her eyes
squeezed tightly shut and petted someone. Butters? Gatsby? She couldn’t be
sure.

“Come on, you two,” Jay said. “Calm down.”

The golf cart rocked wildly off balance as he hopped out. His
footsteps ground over the gravel before he pressed an open hand over her eyes
for good measure.

“Don’t look. Not yet. I’ll tell you when.” With his free hand,
he helped her step from the golf cart then circled her around, shooing the dogs
out of her way. “Chill out, guys.”

Then he said, “Ready?” but didn’t wait for a reply before
moving his hand away. “Open your eyes.”

Susanna did, and gasped aloud.

Jay’s decorations on her cottage had only been a preview of
what he’d done to his home. The same evergreen swags and twining garland. The
same wreaths with bright red bows.

On a grand scale.

Multicolored lights twinkled all over the formal landscaping.
There was another crèche on the lawn, smaller than the one at the facility, but
designed with the same attention to detail in the woodworking that would make
Susanna bet money Jay’s dad had built this one, too.

Rows of solar-powered lights in red and green lined the
driveway along the oak alley leading to the hard road. Each stately oak tree had
been wound with red-and-white lights so they looked like peppermint sticks
standing guard on both sides.

“Oh. My. Gosh.”
There were no words
to describe the sight as she turned slowly, taking in the merry sight, the dusk
giving an inkling of the festive effect of all those lights.

“I wanted our Christmas together to be perfect.”

Their one and only Christmas.

She brutally squelched that thought. She was grateful for this
glorious time with this special man and wasn’t wasting one single millisecond on
regrets.

He grabbed her hand and led her up the grand stairs to his
house. She was breathless with laughter as he shoved open the doors, urging her
ahead of him.

“Ladies first.”

Then she stepped inside the grand foyer of his home to find the
place transformed into a cheery Christmas celebration straight from another
century.

Pine boughs draped the banister up the curving staircase. Big
gold bells hung between each baluster. Swags dripped from the archways and
lights twinkled from the foliage. Angels holding trumpets greeted her from a
shelf beside a coatrack, and a smiling fat Santa shouted, “Ho, ho, ho!”
activated by the motion of the opening door.

The effort to create this Christmas wonderland had been no less
than enormous, and Susanna understood why he’d been MIA so much. His generosity
of spirit simply stole her breath.

“Jay, this is possibly the most thoughtful gift anyone has ever
given me. It couldn’t be more perfect.”

He glanced down at her, his expression melting into amusement.
“This isn’t the gift. Well, only a part of it.”

“Oh.”

Slipping his hands over her shoulders, he nudged her around to
face him. “I want you to cancel those rooms at the Hilton and have Christmas
here with your family.”

Oh.
“Oh.”
She stared into his face,
that oh, so handsome face so eager for her to accept his gift, and she was swept
away by his tenderness, so completely touched by his thoughtfulness that tears
stung her eyes.

“I wanted your first Christmas in your new
home to be special.”

Her impulse was to wrap her arms around him and not let go. She
wanted to hold him close and make him feel how much his kindness meant. How much
he
meant.

He cared. She couldn’t possibly miss how much in his kindness,
in his eagerness to please her.

But Susanna wouldn’t repay his generosity by becoming a
quivering heap in his arms, refused to give in to the emotion taking over. “Is
this why you talked me out of buying the air mattress? You don’t have one packed
away in storage, do you?”

He shook his head.

“You are so, so sweet. But are you absolutely sure?”

“Susanna, there are eight bedrooms and ten bathrooms in this
place. There are plenty of other rooms we can convert into bedrooms if we need
them.”

She exhaled. “Jay, I don’t even know what to say. We’re talking
a bunch of people. We’ll run roughshod all over Christmas with your
brother.”

“A party sounds exactly like what this big old house needs,
don’t you think? Haven’t had one in a long time, since before my mother got
sick. But we still have to get a tree. I figured we could do that together.
Sound good?”

Susanna couldn’t say anything. She had no words even if she
could have gotten them past the tears welling up in her throat. So she launched
up on her tiptoes and tossed her arms around his neck to hug him close, and she
held him, savoring his laughter that burst warmly against her ear, the way he
felt warm and strong and perfect against her.

And promising herself that she would absolutely, positively
not
let longing for the future interfere with
the now.

Her gift to both of them.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

C
HRISTMAS
SEASON
IN
Susanna’s life had always involved festive celebrations—some recital or
another, Nativity plays, classroom parties filled with cookies, laughter and
excitement.

Preparations at home involved many cups of hot cocoa with
marshmallows as Skip climbed on the roof to string lights, then he and the kids
would lay tracks for his trains throughout the house. Susanna set up railway
stations in tiny villages on puffy white fabric to resemble snow.

Christmas tree wars invariably ensued as the family marched
around the tree farm, debating which tree should lose its life for a few shining
weeks of glory and honor displayed in the Adams’ living room.

Baking started early so decorative tins of cookies could be
given as gifts. Susanna, Brooke and both grandmothers would search for recipes,
each year introducing a few new cookies with the tried and true.

But this Christmas...Susanna’s old and new lives collided in a
bittersweet way that had less to do with mourning her old life than fearing the
new.

The clock was ticking. She tried to rein in her feelings about
Jay, but she’d created a mess. She’d arrived in Charlotte to convince Jay to
leave so she could stay. Now she didn’t want him to go, which meant she’d have
to leave.

But she didn’t want to leave, either.

This was never more apparent than when she and the kids arrived
at Jay’s house for their holiday visit.

“Oh. My. God. I don’t even believe this place.” Brooke hung out
the window snapping photos as Susanna drove down the oak alley leading to the
main house standing majestically ahead.

As an art history major, Brooke appreciated architecture and
atmosphere. The Arbors had both.

She grilled Susanna for details, who could only say, “I’ll
introduce you to the owner. He’s lived here his whole life, so I’m sure he’ll be
able to answer your questions.”

Susanna knew Brooke would love everything about The Arbors.
Brandon was more reserved, not so much unimpressed by the surroundings as
uninterested. Give him a bed and a fridge and he was good. She could easily see
him snatching a few precious minutes of sleep on a cot in some hospital back
room during the all-important internships. Her son the future doctor.

That thought made her smile.

“Want me to get the bags, Mom?” Brandon asked as they got out
of the car.

“Smile,” Brooke directed, still snapping photos.

Susanna struck a pose with Brandon then said, “Thanks, but
don’t bother. We can come down and get them later.”

Then the main door swung wide and Jay appeared, looking so
handsome with his broad shoulders and low-slung jeans that Susanna had to
consciously keep her expression neutral. Both dogs bolted through the door
behind Jay, bounding down the stairs toward her.

Suddenly Brandon was interested.

“Hey, you guys.” He crouched down to let the dogs sniff him
before petting them. A hand for each. “You live here?”

“All their lives,” Jay said. “Butters and Gatsby. Butters is
the one trying to knock you down.”

Brandon smiled, welcoming the attention. “Hey guys.”

“This is Jay Canady, owner and property administrator of The
Arbors.” Susanna leaned down to ruffle Gatsby’s head when he came to visit.
“Jay, my son, Brandon, and my daughter, Brooke.”

Brooke let the camera dangle around her neck and went to the
stairs with her hand outstretched. “So you’re the boss. Nice to meet you. Great
house.”

“Great dogs.” Brandon stood wiping his now-dog-covered hands on
his jeans before he headed toward Jay.

“Pleased to meet you both. Welcome to The Arbors.” Jay flashed
that easy smile, the epitome of charming host. “Glad you could come.”

For one surreal moment Susanna simply stood there, absorbing
the sight of her kids and Jay together on those front steps. The perfect
Christmas gift. Could Jay possibly have known? Even beyond the festive
decorations and warm invitation was seeing her beautiful children and this
charming man together, all people she cared for so much.

And she did care. For her children with her heart and soul and
everything she was. And for Jay, even though she shouldn’t. Not this much. Such
a bittersweet admission for the way she felt right now. Blessed with so much
love.

Jay suggested a tour to give everyone the lay of the land and
to see their rooms. With the dogs on their heels, they headed inside to the
living museum that was his house.

Through room after room, he graciously answered Brooke’s many
questions, and Susanna learned much about the history of this man, who’d come to
mean a great deal to her.

Enjoy the moment,
she cautioned
herself.
Only the moment
.

She was already in too deep.

“I’ll just show you the important places now,” Jay explained.
“You feel free to explore whenever you want.”

She’d seen Jay tour people through the facility a number of
times. He turned on that Southern charm, and her kids warmed right up to him.
They chatted, mostly Brooke asking about the house until Jay sounded like a tour
guide. But he made an effort to include Brandon in the conversation, too, and
both her kids were smiling and gracious as Jay showed them their rooms and
explained the arrangements.

“Is everybody’s stuff at the cottage or in the car?” Jay asked,
stepping aside to allow everyone to pass him and head downstairs.

“In the car,” Susanna said, pausing before she followed the
kids, glancing at Jay.

Their gazes met, and for that one instant, there was nothing
but the two of them on the second-floor landing. Yearning, so potent, swept over
her as his gaze caressed her face, a kiss in his expression. They drank in the
sight of each other, the boundaries firmly in place for the holiday ahead, and a
feeling of such longing, such loss filled her when she couldn’t reach up to
brush the hair from his temple, the easy familiarity they’d shared now something
that must be hidden.

She wasn’t sure who broke first. Him, she guessed because he
sidestepped her and headed down the stairs, saying, “Come on, Brandon. Let’s get
the bags, and please tell me the ladies didn’t pack for a month.”

Susanna hung back on the stairs, watching the two of them head
cross the foyer in companionable silence, her handsome young son and her
handsome young lover. One dark, one light, both tall, one lanky in youth, the
other solidly masculine.

And she reminded herself to savor the moment because that’s all
this was and would ever be.

One moment in time.

* * *

J
AY
GRABBED
THE
EMPTY
snifter from the table and asked Walter, “Refill?”

Walter deliberated as he slanted a narrowed gaze between the
snifter and Jay then back again. “You know, I think I will. It’s Christmas Eve.
You’ll put me up tonight?”

“Plenty of room.” More likely Jay would drop off Walter at his
house on the way to midnight mass if he got plowed on the pricey port Jay kept
around specifically for him.

Walter didn’t know it yet but there was another bottle under
the tree wrapped with a bow and a tag with his name on it.

Merry Christmas.

Jay slipped from the family room where everyone had congregated
to relax after the meal and get their second wind before midnight mass. Butters
was hard on his heels, probably thinking he could finagle a few more table
scraps, but Gatsby stuck close to Susanna, who remained seated, greedy for
attention rather than food.

He found Drew at the counter, contemplating a dark beer with
the bottle opener in his hand.

“Too much life out there for you?” Jay asked.

Drew must have been deep in thought because his head snapped up
at Jay’s question. But whatever was on his mind vanished beneath an easy
smile.

“Hey, Jay. No. Not too much. It’s good to see Walter.”

Jay held up the snifter. “Round three. I think he’s having a
good time.”

“Must be. Maybe that’s what I’ll go for. Don’t really want this
beer.”

“Good. Help Walter polish off the bottle so we can keep him off
the streets.” Jay headed to the hutch to retrieve another snifter while Drew
replaced the beer in the fridge.

“Man, do you even remember the last time the house was this
packed? It’s like the old days when we were kids.” Drew leaned back against the
counter and folded his arms over his chest. “Unless you’re partying it up when
I’m not around.”

Which was most of the time. Jay gave a snort of laughter.
“There’s so much life in here tonight, I can barely breathe. And I think the
last time the house was this packed would have to have been Gran’s funeral.”

“That long ago?”

Jay held the port poised over Walter’s empty glass. “Yeah, I
don’t think we’ve actually had a party since Mom went to the facility. I
wouldn’t call Mom’s or Dad’s funeral a party.”

Drew flinched at mention of their parents, and Jay was sorry
he’d brought up the subject. He poured both glasses and slid a snifter Drew’s
way.

Drew inhaled the aroma then took a hefty mouthful. “What the
hell is it with this family, anyway?”

He didn’t need to elaborate. Jay knew what he meant. Everyone
died young or lived to be really old and not in possession of their
faculties.

Then again... “Gran lived a good long time and kept her wits.
Granddad, too.”

“Not Dad and Mom. Or Great-Grandmom.”

“No, not them.” Dad died too young. Mom, too, but one might
argue that Dad died because Mom had lost her mind. Then Mom had died because Dad
had died.

Did it really matter?

Jay looked at his brother, really looked hard. He didn’t get
the opportunity all that often. But Drew looked like he always looked. Except
for the gray hairs sprouting around the temples. Barely noticeable with the buzz
cut. Definite family resemblance. Drew was older, and all sharp edges and razor
creases. Muscular and lean. The Terminator version of Jay. And the brother who
drank the most, Jay realized as Drew tossed back the remainder of the port.

As he hadn’t even replaced the stopper in the bottle, he held
it out. Drew nodded. Jay poured.

“You good?” Jay asked.

“Yeah, good to be home. Not looking forward to packing up that
room, though. What are you doing with everything? Didn’t sound like you knew
where you’d be settling yet.”

“No clue. As far as the stuff goes, I figured I’d give you a
shot to take whatever you want. I’ll store what I want then have an estate sale
for the rest.”

“Northstar doesn’t want anything?”

Jay shrugged. “They don’t even know what they’ll be doing with
this place yet. That’s one of the things Susanna’s doing—making recommendations
about how to best utilize this property.”

“Shit, Jay.” Drew took another healthy swallow.

Silence fell. A hard silence filled with all the things neither
of them was saying.

“You got something to say, now’s the time.”

Drew frowned, looked undecided. He swallowed another sip. “I
have no right to weigh in. Let’s get that straight up front.”

Jay set the bottle back on the counter and braced himself. A
big part of him wanted to shut up Drew before he got started. Instead, he said,
“Shoot.”

“Are you sure selling this place is the right thing to do?”

“No.”

Drew shook his head as if he didn’t hear correctly. “Didn’t see
that coming. What do you mean
no?
That’s all you
talk about.”

“The
only
thing to do. Not
necessarily the
right
thing.”

“Got it.” Drew pushed the snifter Jay’s way, motioned him to
drink.

Jay obliged by taking a hearty swig that seared a smooth path
all the way down his throat. Walter liked this stuff why?

“Any way I can help?” Drew asked.

“You volunteering to run this place?”

Drew snorted. “That’d be some learning curve. I steered clear
of the place even when I was home.”

“Cut to the chase, Drew. I have guests.” And he wasn’t inclined
to ease Drew through any guilt he might be feeling for jumping ship when he
had.

Drew narrowed his gaze, and alcohol hadn’t seemed to dilute the
hard look in his eyes. “I know you, Jay. You devoted your life to deal with this
place and everyone in it. I don’t want you to give up everything and live to
regret it.”

A few months ago Jay would have told his brother not to worry.
A few months ago he’d been sure going through with the acquisition was the right
thing to do. But now...now that he’d come back to life and realized what some of
the problem was, he also realized that he didn’t have much of a plan about what
came next. Live. That covered a lot of things.

Marriage. Family. New home. New line of work.

“I’m sketchy about what comes after I leave.” Island sex with
some random woman beneath tiki torches no longer interested him and hadn’t since
he and Susanna had become lovers. “I’ve been working on this deal for a long
time, Drew. It’s not like I’m running away.”

“You sure about that?”

Turned out Drew hadn’t earned the right to question Jay. He’d
been smart enough to know even if Jay hadn’t realized it until now. “You don’t
have a clue what you’re talking about.”

“Dude, I ran away. I freaking missed the only time I could have
had with everyone. Mom, Dad, Gran, Granddad even. I screwed up. Don’t make the
same mistake.”

“How in hell am I going to make the same mistake? Everyone’s
dead already.”

“You got something here now. Don’t throw it away because you’ve
got your head wrapped around leaving.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Susanna.”

That stopped him cold. “What about her?”

Drew fixed Jay with a gaze that made him feel dense without a
word. “Whatever’s going on with you two.”