The Time Until (18 page)

4 Years Ago (Age 16):
 
October

I’m miserable, but put on a brave face so I
don’t alert Kate to it.
 
We’ve had sex a few
times since that first time, but they haven’t really gotten better.
 
In fact, every time we meet now has turned
into a sexual experience.

I’ve turned this girl into a nympho.

But it’s just sex, nothing more; it’s something
physical with nothing emotional.

Sex definitely changes things for a
couple.
 
Where Kate seems to be more in
love and clingy, I can’t seem to muster the same emotion in myself.
 
I don’t feel the closeness between us
anymore, not like I used to.

The heat is gone.

Not that I can tell Kate this.
 
She’s beyond the moon about everything.
 
I’m almost positive I saw a wedding magazine
in her room the other day.
 
Yeah, still
not sure how I feel about that little development.
 
I’m only a junior in high school. I’m more
worried about passing chemistry, there’s no way I’m thinking about
marriage.
 
I’m sure it’s just a playful
fantasy.

I hope it’s a playful fantasy.

I can’t talk to Sam about anything
anymore.
 
In fact, I haven’t even said
one word to her since my birthday in July.
 
I miss her a lot, but she’s obviously made her decision.

At least soccer season starts soon.
 
I’ll finally have something to distract me
from all the crap that’s happening in my life.
 
I love soccer; all I have to think about is the game and practice.
 
Plus, they run you so hard you don’t really
have time to think about anything else beyond trying to breath.

That is why I’m in the locker room at this very
moment getting changed for soccer conditioning.
 
Basically,
it’s
two straight hours of the coach
trying to kill us with running drills.
 
I
love it for the shear fact that I’m so tired afterward that I can’t even
concentrate on moving, let alone anything else.

Perfect.

Of course, it doesn’t help that Caleb “Cable”
McKenzie is also on the team.
 
It’s not a
good thing to have a reminder when you’re trying to forget things.
 
Good thing he mostly ignores me the entire
time and stays with his friends on the other side of the field.
 
I manage to pick up bits and pieces of their
conversation whenever I run by them, but it’s never anything I care to
overhear.

This time is different.

They’re talking about Sam.

Though I only catch a few choice words from the
conversation, what I do manage to glean is anything but good.
 
Actually, it’s all stuff I really don’t want
to hear.
 
I now know more about Sam’s sex
life than I have ever wanted to know — unless I was involved in it of
course.
 
My traitorous brain starts
piecing together full video porno movies starring Sam.

I hate it, but the damage is done and now I’m
trying very hard not to cry.

I stop the waterworks by sweating the tears out
instead.

It doesn’t take long before the two hours are
up and I’m dragging my gelatinous body back to the locker room. Caleb and his
friends are already there, having skipped the optional extra laps I always take
— I have to keep my girlish figure.
 
I’m
getting an earful from these guys and it’s making me sick to my stomach to hear
it.

They make it sound like they pass Sam around
like the town bicycle – everybody gets a ride.

“She’s definitely amazing,” I hear Caleb say to
his friends, “she’s limber as fuck.”

“Hell yeah!” someone responds.
 
I try to change faster.
 
It’s none of my business what Sam does with
her boyfriend.
 
Though, this pathetic two-timing
heart of mine is incredibly jealous.

I need to get out of here before it gets worse
for me.

“So when do you let us have a shot at her?”
another person asks and I recognize him as Darryl Gentry, Caleb’s best
friend.
 
Caleb huffs.
 
I start to fume.
 
If Caleb answers wrong on this, I might
actually have to kick his ass.

“When I’m down fucking the shit out of her,”
Caleb challenges.
 
The others laugh.
 
I cringe because of the mental image.

“You mean you
ain’t
hit that ass yet?” Darryl asks.
 
Caleb
laughs in his face.
 
I didn’t think it
was possible, but he sounds nervous.
 
He’s not a lot, but enough.

“Of course I’ve hit that ass,” Caleb answers,
“best piece I’ve had. Well worth the effort let me tell you.”

My blood starts to boil and I’m trying to keep from
going over there and pummeling his face into the back of his skull.
 
Effort?
 
He makes it sound like he’s building a damn
building, not loving my best friend.
 
This isn’t the best impression to make; though, now that I think about
it, he never really gave off the “I care for her” vibe.

 
“Yeah,”
another person I don’t recognize speaks up, “everybody heard them in the
bathroom at Alan’s birthday.”
Like I really needed that
little reminder.

“You were really going at it!” the kid
practically shouts out.
 
Great, now I’m
thinking about that awful day in my head again.
 
I do this to myself at least once a day, so I don’t need a perfect
stranger helping me out.
 

“I hope so,” Caleb shouts, “I’ve been working
on her for nine months.”

I’m close to going over there and introducing
them all to my fists when the locker room door flies open and smashes the wall
behind it.
 
Everyone in the room,
including me, jumps half out of their skin.
 
Sam is standing there in the doorway, pissed.
 
No, scratch that, furious.
 
Arianna is trailing behind her and the look
on her face says it all, this is new for her.

Guess my day of kicking Caleb’s ass is going to
coming after Sam’s.

Sam walks through the doors of the male locker
room like she belongs there and walks right up to Caleb.
 
Half the guys cover up, but she barely even
glances in their direction.

She’s a girl on a mission.

Caleb looks nervous when he looks at her
face.
 
He should be; that look is
something that Freddy and Jason would be proud to have.
 
I fall into a group of about five guys and
push to get closer to the spectacle playing out in the locker room.

Caleb finally gains his cocky attitude back and
chuckles at Sam.

“Hey, babe, what’s the matter?”

“You know exactly what’s wrong, Cable,” she
bites, intentionally using his nickname as an insult.
 
Caleb looks lost, but quickly covers it up
with his usual over-confident self.

“Is this about the rumors, babe?” he asks at
almost a whisper.
 
Sam glares at
him.
 
Caleb shrinks against her stare.

It’s a heart-warming image.

“Yeah, Cable,” she spits his name, “this is
about the rumors that you started.” That was news to me.
 
I just assumed it was some kid from my
party.
 
It’s interesting that the offender
is Caleb, but not that surprising.

“What’s the big deal?
 
So everyone knows about us.
 
I don’t see a problem with that.” He smiles
slightly and I feel slimy just looking at it.
 
This is a completely different side of him than I’ve ever seen.
 
I wonder if this is his true personality.

He gives off this sleazy used car dealer vibe.

 
“The big
deal is, Caleb,” she starts with a calming breath, “we’ve never had sex.”

My head does a double take.
 
Wait a minute, what the hell does that
mean?
 
I’m reasonably sure that the
sounds coming from my bathroom that day were from intercourse.
 
Then again, I never actually saw them having
sex.
 
Could I have overreacted to the
situation?
 
Hearing those sounds and her
voice were a great shock at the time.
 
Maybe I simply added my own delusion to the situation.

“Wait a minute,” a brave soul speaks up, “what
do you mean?”
 
Sam turns to face him and
he blanches slightly.

“We were all there.
 
We heard you.
 
There wasn’t a whole lot left to the imagination there.” Sam actually
turns a slight shade of pink.
 
It’s
pretty obvious that she’s reliving something, most likely that little
exhibition in my bathroom.

“That was far from being sex,” she tells us
turning a little pinker.
 
Everyone stares
at her waiting for an explanation.
 
Sam
looks at Caleb and he shrugs.

No explanation is given.

“This is just like you,” she scolds, “I give
you an inch and you take a mile.”

 
“Whoa,
whoa,” he puts his hands up like she’s going to attack him, which she might,
“you liked it – a lot if I remember right.” Sam rolls her eyes and places a
hand on her hip.

“Don’t give me that macho bullshit, Caleb, I
don’t need it,” she shouts at him.
 
She
looks at me briefly and I can swear it’s almost like she’s doing this for
me.
 
That can’t be right.
 
She’s the one who left me and broke my
heart.
 
She shouldn’t care what I think.

Right?

“Everyone thinks I had sex with you and I
didn’t.” Caleb gets another one those sleazy smiles on his face.

“Well,” he starts then lowers his voice to
barely a whisper, “since everyone already thinks we have, why not just give in.”
He raises an eyebrow as if he knows he won her over with this.

I now know what he was doing.
 
Peer pressure in the greatest form.
 
If everyone believes you’ve done something,
all your protests will fall on deaf ears and eventually you’ll cave.
 
It’s a good plan.

It would have worked if he was dating anyone
but Sam.

“I can’t believe I ever dated you,” she sighs
in regret and again quickly glances at me.
 
The remorse all over her face tells me all I need to know.
 
She regrets every moment that she spent with
him.

Suddenly, I’m feeling very regretful myself.

What the hell have I been doing with Kate?

“Are you breaking up with me?” Caleb asks
snapping me out of my thoughts.
 
Sam
looks at him as if thinking about it.

“You know what, I am,” she says.

I shouldn’t be ecstatic right now, but I
am.
 
I think I’ve actually been waiting
for this moment, even though I know she’s not doing it for me.

“Not like I care all that much,” he says, not
knowing when to keep his mouth shut.

“What does that mean?” Sam cocks a questioning
eyebrow.
 
Caleb dismisses her with a
casual wave of his hand like he doesn’t care to answer.

“I think you should answer the lady, Caleb,” I
offer.
 
Caleb looks at me and his eyes
narrow slightly.
 
I step from the crowd
and stand next to Sam.
 
She offers me a
small apologetic smile.

“Whatever,” he dismisses me.
 
I instantly grab his head in my palm and slam
it into the lockers.
 
His ‘friends’ don’t
move a muscle to help him.
 
Some friends
they are.
 
That makes me appreciate mine
that much more.

Holding him in place, I use his head as support
and lean close to his ear.

“Answer the question, Cable.” He grits his
teeth in anger, but nods his head.

“Good,” I tell him as I release his head,
wiping my palm on my shirt to remove his sweat.

“I was just waiting for you drop your panties
anyway,” he began, “not like I actually wanted to
do all that
stuff with you.”

Wow!
 
I
look at Sam to ask if I can pound him.
 
She shakes her head no.

I cringe as a Joker smile rips across Sam’s
face.
 
I’ve seen this smile before and I
know what’s coming seconds before it does.
 
Stepping closer to Caleb, Sam’s knee comes smashing into his testicles
and he collapses, not even able to breath.
 
I’m right there with him, along with every other guy in the room.
 
It was a devastating blow, one where watching
was enough to feel the pain.
 
Caleb tries
to catch his breath in gasps.

“Get up,” she shouts at him without the least
bit of sympathy, “we both know you don’t have enough there for that to actually
hurt.” She completely disregards his pain as she stares at him without the
least bit of empathy.
 
Finally, she rolls
eyes again and turns to leave.

“You bitch!” I go to hit him in the head, but
Sam is a step faster.
 
She slams her fist
down on top of his head, knocking him unconscious.
 
The entire room watches as she turns to leave
again, completely stunned into silence.
 
I smile to myself with the thought that I’m the only one in the room who
knows what Sam is capable of doing.