The Tin Box (18 page)

“Yeah. This is my first time.” William didn’t elaborate that this was his first time in
any
gay bar.

“Thought so. Fresno’s a pretty small town, when all’s said and done. It’s nice to see a fresh face. Where you from?”

“Bay Area.”

Steve moaned. “Christ, we must seem like a bunch of backwoods hicks to you.”

“Not really. I haven’t… I wasn’t very active back there. Busy with school, work.”

“Sure.” Steve nodded “Know how that goes. I own my own business. The problem with being your own boss is there’s no one to bitch about when the boss works you too hard.”

Steve had a nice deep laugh and a warm, sincere smile. He was wearing a navy-blue polo shirt, and little tufts of chest hair peeked through the open placket. There were more dark hairs on his arms and the backs of his long, broad fingers.

William decided to try a conversational tack of his own. “You don’t sound like you’re from here originally.”

“Man, my South Carolina always gives itself away!” Steve took a long drink of beer, his throat working as he swallowed. “Yeah, I moved out here as soon as I graduated college. Never regretted it.”

A slightly awkward silence followed. Well, William felt awkward. Steve was eyeing him very frankly and didn’t seem discomfited in the least. Finally, William felt like he had to say something. “The band is, um, versatile.”

Steve laughed loudly at that. “Yeah, they stink pretty equally at several genres. Sometimes there’s decent talent here on weekends, but then you usually have to pay a cover charge. What kind of music do you like?”

“I’m not very good with music. I listen to classical when I work, mostly.”

“Me too! It doesn’t distract you, right?”

“Exactly.”

“My partner used to—” Steve frowned. “Damn. Promised myself I wasn’t going to do that.”

“Do what?”

“Bring up my partner. Ex-partner. Deceased partner. Um… fuck. Sorry. Let’s just forget the last part of the conversation, huh?” He grinned. “How ’bout them Niners?”

“It’s okay. And I’m really sorry.”

Steve shrugged slightly. “It’s been two goddamn years already. It’s really not a good subject to bring up in the first five minutes of meeting a cute guy. Unless sympathy will get me somewhere with you?” He said the last part with a wink, letting William know he was only joking.

But William felt a little flustered at being called cute. “I just broke up with my partner,” he blurted. “We were together for almost eight years.” Which was true, if you counted from when they first met.

Steve reached over to pat his arm. “Wow. So instead of Garnering Sympathy Guy I’m in line to be Rebound Man?”

William winced.

“Hey, William, no worries. I know how it feels to dip your feet back in the pool after a long time. You keep worrying about sharks. I’m up for… something quick and easy. But if you’d rather kick back a little and get to know each other, that’s really cool.”

Quick and easy.
William pictured the bodies he’d seen rutting against each other in the hallway, the men in the bathroom. He could have that if he wanted. And Steve was very handsome, not to mention pleasantly easygoing. William liked him. He was curious what those big hands would feel like against his skin. Were the fingers calloused? And what would it feel like to touch someone who was so… hairy? So
big
? Lisa was slender and nearly a foot shorter than him. And Colby—

“Let’s just talk awhile, if that’s okay,” said William.

Deep smile lines crinkled tightly. “More than okay.”

They chatted for quite some time. Steve talked about growing up in Charleston, and how he’d yearned to be an actor but settled for the more secure income of medical HR. Now he did management consulting. He loved to travel, so he told about some of the places he’d visited. William talked about his dissertation, attempting to make the subject sound slightly interesting. Steve seemed very intrigued by his description of the mental hospital. They found out they liked a lot of the same authors, and they took turns naming their favorite movies.

The waiter came by and they ordered another round of drinks. William paid, in spite of Steve’s laughing resistance.

When William accidentally let it slip that the partner he’d recently separated from was female and his wife, Steve didn’t seem shocked or upset. He said he knew quite a few gay men who’d been married. In fact, Steve himself had dated women all the way through college.

William relaxed. He was enjoying himself. It was great to just talk to someone like this and not have to make any pretense about who he was. When Steve captured his hand on the table and held it fast, William didn’t pull away.

Sometimes he’d catch sight of Colby on the dance floor. The crowds were heavy and the table didn’t have a good sightline, but Colby’s bright shirt and bright hair helped him stand out. Even when he took off his shirt—as had quite a few dancers—William had no trouble spotting him. Colby was dancing a lot with Fauxhawk, but with other men too. Once William saw him sandwiched between two half-bare men at once, the three of them moving their hips in synchrony.

The crowds had thinned a little. Steve bought William his fifth beer. Then he leaned over the table. “I’d really like to keep in touch, William. Maybe dinner this weekend? We can catch that James Bond movie.”

Steve was incredibly attractive. William leaned back. But when he opened his mouth, what came out was, “I can’t. I’m sorry.”

Chagrined but not angry, Steve cocked his head. “Did I come on too strong? Or did I—”

“No. You’re great.” William gave a sigh. “And I’m an idiot. It’s just… there’s Colby. He’s just a friend and he’s not into me, but….”

“He the one you keep looking at?”

William blushed a little. “Sorry. I don’t mean to be rude, I really don’t. But I can’t—”

Holding his hands up, Steve said, “It’s okay. Ricky and I were friends for a while before we were lovers. He was fucking all these other guys and I was right there, waiting. Took him a while to notice.” He smiled. “But when he did,
oh
boy! Worth the wait.”

“That’s not going to happen with Colby. He’s really… he’s
special
, right? And he’s out there dancing and I’m… I’m Mr. Repression.”

“You might be surprised, Mr. Repression. But here….” Steve dug out his wallet, removed a business card, and passed it across the table. “In case you change your mind. If you want to jump in the pond with me, give me a call.”

William took the card with a smile. “Thanks. Thanks for being so cool about it. I’m a mess.”

Steve winked. “But you’re a cute mess.”

To William’s surprise, Steve didn’t leave. They continued to talk comfortably about various things. Steve dared William to rate each of the men around them on a one-to-ten scale, and then they compared ratings. William laughed a lot.

“Hi.”

Colby had put his shirt back on but left it unbuttoned. His torso was dripping wet, his face flushed, and his spiky hair had wilted a little. He looked exhausted, but he grinned. “Don’t want to interrupt, but—”

Steve stood. “You’re not. I was just leaving.” He leaned down to squeeze William’s arm. “Really good to meet you, William. I hope I hear from you.”

“I had a great time talking with you,” William replied.

And Steve kissed him. Not very well, since the table was between them and William hadn’t been expecting it. But firmly, lips to lips. Up close, he smelled nice, and his whiskers were scratchy. Then he whispered in William’s ear: “Sometimes a little jealousy helps.” He straightened, winked, mumbled something at Colby, and walked away.

Colby flopped into the newly vacant chair. “Wow! He is sex on a stick! Way to score on your first try, Will! But you let him get away. Want me to make myself scarce?”

“No. Thanks.” William toyed with his empty glass. “Looked like you were having fun.”

“I was. It’s been way too long since I’ve done this. But I must be getting old ’cause I am
wiped
. Are you ready to head home?”

William blinked. “But Faux—the guy you were dancing with….”

“I danced with a lot of guys. But I’m going back to JV with you. So unless you wanna change your mind about Tall, Dark, and Handsome….”

“I don’t.”

“Then let’s hit the road.”

William visited the bathroom again. There were fewer people in the way this time, and no sex shows going on. He met up with Colby in the parking lot, where the night air felt wonderfully cool. He tossed him the car keys and slid into the passenger seat. He had to fiddle with the seat back to get it adjusted properly. To the best of his recollection, he’d never sat there before.

Colby rolled down the driver’s window a crack and kept it that way as he headed for the highway. His shirt was still unbuttoned, and the streetlights and illuminated signs reflected off his hairless chest. He smiled a little to himself, humming softly as he turned the wheel. William closed his eyes and leaned his head against the window. Something felt unreal about the whole evening, as if it were a dream. Dancing. Being flirted at by a handsome man and flirting back a little. Watching Colby move among the crowd like a bright butterfly among gray moths.

Oh God.

“Hey. You okay, Will?”

“Huh?” William opened his eyes and turned his head to look at him.

“You kinda… moaned. Too much to drink? Lemme know if you’re gonna barf. I don’t want you to puke in your car.”

“I’m fine.”

Colby shot him a grin. “Regretting letting that hunk get away? I gotta tell you, I’m damn impressed with you, hitting a home run on your first at bat.”

“All we did was kiss. You saw.”

Colby swatted him. “Didn’t mean that kind of home run. That’d be pretty advanced for you.”

For no particular reason, William took offense at that. “Yeah? Why? Because that stick is so firmly wedged up my ass nothing else is ever going to get in there?”

He immediately felt sorry for his outburst when the corners of Colby’s mouth turned down. “I told you I was sorry for saying that.”

With a deep sigh, William concluded that five consecutive beers were probably too many. His head hurt. He gave Colby’s bicep a light squeeze. “I know. Sorry. I’m feeling… a little out of my element.”

The smile returned, albeit in a somewhat subdued form. “Sure. Hey, tonight was a big step for you. Being out in public—I mean
out
out—dancing with a guy, that wasn’t easy for you.”

“You’re a really good dancer.”

“I know,” Colby said, and his smile brightened. “You weren’t too awful yourself. I expected much worse.” That earned Colby a swat.

W
ILLIAM
had fallen into a light doze, but the slowing of the car woke him. He blinked at the window but saw mostly darkness.

“Hey, Will?” Colby began carefully.

“Yeah?”

“I was wondering…. It’s late. If I head home now I’ll probably wake up Grandpa and maybe Mom. Plus I left my other clothes at your place. Can I spend the night at the hospital?”

William suddenly felt very wide awake, his heart beating fast. “Um, sure. No problem.”

A moment later, Colby turned off the highway onto the gravel road. The headlights hardly seemed to touch the darkness, and civilization felt millions of miles away. William worried a little about cows on the road, but then concluded that, by now, the cows should all be home. He laughed inwardly at his dumb joke and then had a realization. He felt oddly giddy, and it wasn’t due to alcohol. Those beers had worn off by now.

He unlocked the gate. Colby pulled through and idled the car on the other side, waiting for him to lock up again. When Colby parked the car, he did so haphazardly, using at least three spaces. This annoyed William, but he managed to keep his mouth shut.

As he unlocked the front door, it seemed to occur to them both that they had to piss and there was only one bathroom. They raced down the hallway, their laughs echoing off the walls. With his longer legs, William won. But Colby grabbed the bathroom door before he could close it, and then stood in the doorway, squirming like a six-year-old. “Hurry
up
or I’m just gonna share.”

William didn’t think they’d both fit in the tiny room at once, at least not without a lot of squishing, and he didn’t want squishing while he was trying to take a leak. He emptied his bladder as quickly as possible and was a little grossed out when Colby pushed past him, not even waiting for him to flush. William washed his hands at the kitchen sink and then stood looking out the window at nothing.

“You want something to drink?” he asked when Colby emerged. “Or eat? I have some chips, or—”

“I’m good.”

William followed him into the main room and switched on the bedside lamp, creating a warm pool of light. There was a slightly pregnant pause, and then Colby said, “I can sleep on the couch. I won’t be very cramped. It’s one of the upsides of being short.”

“Just share the bed, Colby.” It was, after all, a big bed.

Apparently, Colby didn’t need to be asked twice. He slipped out of his shirt and flung it to the side, kicked away his shoes, skinned off his socks, and then shimmied out of his trousers and underwear in one smooth move. That left William standing there, fully dressed, gaping at an entirely naked man.