The Tragedy of Knowledge (6 page)

“Drained me … what?” I met his fingers with mine, linking them. “But I’m not human.”

“It’s Gérard. He drains whomever he pleases.” Undoing the link I created, he pulled his fingers away and leaned down on his knees to kiss the scar, letting his lips linger over my hip. Desire flamed beneath the spot his mouth touched and my grogginess began to dissipate. I squirmed under him, a small smile springing to his lips when he heard my soft moan. Sliding on top of me, he gently aligned his body with mine, the heat in his eyes making my breath jump. “Seeing him walk up to you like that, seeing him touch you …” He bent down and drew the skin of my neck into his mouth, sucking softly. “I thought I might lose you for good and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it. It was the most helpless, terrifying feeling.” He leaned on an elbow and pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it to the floor, his gaze a liquid fire, still trained on mine. “Are you all right? What did he do to you?” His mouth found my neck again, more urgent this time, brushing wet kisses up to my ear and down over my collarbone.

The image of Gérard’s greedy, malevolent eyes as they bored into mine, the way his hand gripped my thigh as if he owned it, made my eyes squeeze shut in disgust. Worse yet, the way he violated me, paralyzing me with desire, made my stomach turn. I needed Gavin’s hands on me. Only his.

“Gav, I need you to be inside of me,” I whispered, opening my eyes.

He searched my face for any sign of distress and must have seen the panic, because he stilled and ran his thumb along the line of my jaw as if to console me.

“Cam, I don’t know if—”

“Gavin, please.” I squeezed his shoulders, implored him with my gaze.

After a beat, he gently eased down my jeans zipper, ridding me of the fabric between us before nudging my legs open. My body arched into him and he groaned, freeing himself before hooking his thumbs into the sides of my panties and sliding them down. The house was quiet except for our soft panting, and as he bared my skin, memories of the encounter with Gérard slipped away. Screwing his eyes tight as he entered me, he hissed through his teeth and his jaw fell slack, a low gasp escaping when he eased farther in. My arms fell over his shoulders, my fingers digging into them to encourage his slow, rocking rhythm.

“Promise me whatever happens, we stick together, no matter what,” I whispered.

Our mouths met and his teeth locked onto my lower lip before his tongue caressed the upper one. Burying his hands into my hair as he moved, he nodded, his eyes filled with intense promise. I shivered at the sensations he sent through my body, the feel of his taut shoulder muscles contracting beneath my fingertips, his grip desperate and hips determined as he dipped them between my thighs.

“No matter what,” I repeated, my voice thick with need, breath quickening as he increased his rhythm. That felt … oh, God. That felt good.

“We’re one, no matter what. You have my word,” he smoothed one hand down my side and over my hip, settling on my upper thigh to hitch it higher. My head rolled back and my moans dissolved into soft mewls, coaxing a guttural growl from his chest, causing him to slam harder into me, his breath catching, resulting in the sexiest sounds I’d ever heard come from a man in my life. Hearing them was my undoing.

The steady rocking pace he’d begun evolved into a frenzied wave of sharp thrusts, pushing us both further and further into a paradisiacal state, kneading each other’s skin and devouring one another’s mouths with carnal abandon. Gavin cried out against my lips and I followed him. The sound of something falling, then scattering onto the hallway floor, broke through the incoherent sounds of our orgasms.

“Oh, dear God!” Audrey’s voice sputtered from the hall. Our heads snapped in her direction and we both winced when Gabe bumped into her from behind, not looking where he was going, preoccupied with his iPod. She shrieked and Gabe jumped back, eyeing the broken plates around their feet with confusion. Then his chin shot up and he spotted Gavin and me on the couch.

“
Bahahaha!
”

“Gabriel!” Audrey bumped him with her elbow and covered his eyes, keeping hers wide open. “For crying out loud! This is the quietest you two have ever been, I had no idea you were in here!”

Quiet? Funny. I thought nukes dropped around us and the room imploded while our bodies burst to flame. Perspective is a funny thing.

“Here I am baking cookies and looking all over the house for
you,
” she turned her attention to Gabe and uncovered his eyes, “hoping to bring my man something to munch on, and instead I walk in on
your
crazy monkey sex! Thanks you two, now I’m officially scarred for life.” She swatted the air in front of her, as if she could shoo away the images, and darted over the broken dishes and cookies, up the staircase, with a flustered string of expletives.

Gabe watched her ascend the stairway and let out another amused cackle. “Oh don’t mind her. She’s acting like she just witnessed her parents in the act.” Bending down, he snatched a cookie and gave us a thumbs-up. “You look hot, kids. Carry on.”

He jogged up the stairs after her, shouting with a mouth full, “Cookies, babe? Marie just died, and you’re baking cookies?”

“Baking is how I handle grief!” she shouted back.

“Who are you, Paula Deen?”

A door slammed, and that was the end of that conversation.

Gavin and I erupted into laughter, rushing to sit up and cover ourselves. Pinching his thumb in his zipper, Gavin yelped. “
Ow
, damn!” His quiet chuckle made me smile even wider and my eyes met his, locking on target. His lashes fluttered as he blinked, holding my stare with equal adoration, removing his thumb from his lips to lean down and burn me with a kiss. His hands cupped over the hair around my ears; he pressed his forehead to mine. “No matter what,” he whispered.

“We’re one.”

“Cam?”

“
Hhhmm?
”

He paused.

“Are you going to tell me what happened with Gérard earlier, when he walked up to you?”

Do I have your attention Camille?
I swallowed and blinked, recalling the heat from Gérard’s revolting touch and thoughts.

“Nothing. He just tried to scare me. And it worked.”

***

The sun had begun to set while I parked myself at a cafe table on the cozy streets of downtown Breaux Bridge, wanting to surround myself with the memories of my small town life, even for just a moment. Although I had spent most of my time working and going to school in Lafayette, people still knew me in the Breaux Bridge area, since I lived here. It was risky to be out in the open like this, so close to Lafayette and the countless missing person’s flyers that littered its streets. But I needed a breather. After Gérard’s visit, the mood in the house tanked even further when Gavin and Gabe decided to take Marie’s body to London, to bury her near Joel’s old home. While they were there, they had some last-minute preparations to make with other members of the resistance, so I decided to spend our last night on earth in my old hometown.

I kept my nose buried behind a book, peeking out through massive sunglasses to people watch as the locals strolled by. My beanie hat covered most of my hair, and I pulled it loosely over my ears with the hopes of being more inconspicuous. I shut my eyes while I thought of poor Marie, and sipped my tasteless cafe macchiato. Even loaded up with tons of caramel, it did nothing for my vampire taste buds. But it made me look the part, so I continued to suck it down.

Marie.
Gone.
The same Marie that I’d mentally vowed to protect just hours ago. Marie, Arianna’s final link to her deceased best friend and lover, Joel.
Gone
, because of this mess. Because of me and what I’d caused. No matter what Gavin said, his whole mission never would have been sidelined and rerouted like this if it weren’t for me barging into Amaranth after Gavin like some lovesick, impulsive girl. I had no idea what I was really getting myself into, not to mention what I was dragging my best friends, my family, into because of it.

Swallowing hard, I fished a cigarette from my pocket. Now was not the time to dwell on what I couldn’t go back and change. It was time to own my choices and move on, damn the consequences. My mother’s words came back to haunt me, suddenly fitting and poignant given our current situation.
Once you know something, you can never unknow it. Truth doesn’t let you do that. That’s the tragedy of knowledge.’
I knew the weight of my decisions and what they meant for all of us now, and I’d never be able to undo that knowledge.

A light breeze brushed the back of my shoulder as I lit up and I froze in my seat, but then relaxed when Arianna slid into the seat across from me.

“Jumpy much?” She smiled, sliding her sunglasses over her head.

“Can you blame me?”

“Guess not. What are you doing out here all by yourself? Homesick?”

“A little. It’s hard to imagine I ever lived here. That I hung out on these streets, shopped at these stores. That was my favorite lunch place,” I pointed to the terracotta orange brick building across the street. The dark green wrought-iron railing formed a quaint walkway, the doors and windows decked out in Parisian-themed, hand-painted signs. “They made a mean shrimp po’boy.”

“I know it’s a lot to leave behind.” She eyed the restaurant with a sad smile. “I’ve started over so many times, I’ve kind of become immune to that sentimentality. The attachment to things, I mean.”

“I’m sorry, that must be hard. Especially after … you know, after Joel.”

“Thanks.” She looked down, twirled a long golden lock around her finger. “Losing him was certainly the most painful adjustment I’d had to make in my lifetime. Although I don’t know if it was the hardest.”

“What do you mean?”

“I think losing my humanity has been the hardest. All the back and forth over the years, turning from human to vampire and back again. It’s been exhausting. Adjusting to the loss of the small things you take for granted as a human, like the feel of the rain on your skin, or the way sweet tea tastes on a really hot day. Simple pleasures that just aren’t the same when you’re a frozen soul. When I left Amaranth during the uprising, I was certain I’d remain human when I returned to earth, that I would never let anything else convince me to turn again. It was a fresh start.”

“Why did you?” I’d wanted to know this since I first met Arianna, wanted to understand why she’d turned vampire again after escaping Amaranth during the uprising in the 1800s: why she didn’t hang on to her humanity while she had the chance. Then again, had she done that, she’d be long gone by now and I would have never had the privilege to meet her. She was lovely, loyal, and pure, and I strived to possess strength like hers someday. As sad as I was for her frozen state, I was happy to have her in my life.

“Why didn’t I remain human? Gavin,” she answered, meeting my gaze. “When I returned to earth, and he’d found out his parents were killed after the uprising died down, found out how Samira used them, he was enraged. He had his mind made up then. He’d change and organize a rebellion, plan a course of attack and bring Samira down. That mission evolved, eventually turning into something bigger than avenging his parents’ death. As he traveled the world and met more frozen souls, he wanted to save them, too. He wanted to save everyone,” she let out a soft laugh, glancing toward the sunset. “There was no stopping him then, and Gabe and Josh, loyal mates as they were, vowed to help him. They made a pact to remain brothers till the end, hell or high water. Joel joined them—he was already a vampire at the time—and it took many years for them to make progress with other frozen souls, to recruit them and hatch a plan for a resistance movement. Anyway, when I found the three of them changed, I was devastated, because I knew.”

She shook her head with certainty, releasing a heavy sigh. “I knew I might never see my brother human again. And I couldn’t bear it, couldn’t grow old knowing he’d remain cursed on earth. Especially when I knew all of this was a result of my mother and her kingdom. So, I had Gavin change me into a vampire again.”

“I can’t believe he hasn’t told me this.” My brows pulled together and I reached over to place my hand on hers, squeezed her knuckles tightly. “That’s the most selfless thing I’ve ever heard.”

“It’s crazy the things we do when we want to protect the ones we love.”

Lowering my eyes to our locked hands, I slowly pulled away to lean back in my seat.

“Camille, I know you want to protect my brother. I know you want to help all of us. But you have to know that whatever is going on with these visions, and whatever my father said to you, you have to tell us what you know.”

“I don’t know anything.”

“You’re good at many things. Lying is not one of them.”

“Ari, I’m not lying to you. I don’t know … what he meant.”

“So he did say something to you?”

“He warned me. That was it, I promise.” I wouldn’t dare confess what else her father had done to me.

“Warned you about what?”

I bristled in my chair, unable to meet her intent gaze, unsure how to answer. What did Gérard’s warning really mean, anyway?
Think twice about what knowledge you choose to divulge in your efforts to save everyone.
Why couldn’t I decode it? What the hell was he talking about? What knowledge? He spoke to me as if I knew, but I was more lost than ever.