The Troubadour's Romance (22 page)

“
Wherein lies the difference, madam?
”
he asked, his tone harsh, as if he was offended.
“
You, of all, would understand the misery of being forced against your will. And if finding that was not insult enough, imagine loving another and being denied him. Surely you would understand my moth
er
’
s heart better than I.
”
He stopped himself and seemed to struggle with the words.
“
It is of no matter,
”
he finally said.
“
You will be neither chained nor abused. If you can find naught but misery here,
‘
twill be a hell of your own making and one I cannot set right.
”

He turned back to his dinner, and she watched his internal struggle as it played on his face. His brows drew together and his jaw was tense as he ground the food. Again she believed that his greatest agony lay in having a bride he wished none of thrust upon him. He had been forced, and if that was not a tragedy great enough, he loved and wanted another.

She, too, looked down at her plate. The food itself was poor enough to spoil her appetite, but his hostile words only made the meal that much less desirable. She struggled with
tears that threatened to fall. She began to think Royce would repeat his mother
’
s despair, never even looking to see if some gift lay hidden within this indignity.

Felise
was not so filled with vanity that she could easily place herself above Lady Celeste, but she wondered how that frail dame had managed to become so treasured in Royce
’
s mind. She was troubled with it, feeling certain that she was noth
ing like Celeste in any way ..
. highly doubting she could be, even if that was her husband
’
s desire.

Need I imitate the lady
’
s pale beauty?
she asked herself.
Or show him that I am stronger and therefore more worthy? Or mayhap I should remain still while the memory of the other woman fades?

She found little enthusiasm for conversation with any of the others, whose plates were emptying all around her. The long day was quickly coming to an end.

“
My lord,
”
she beckoned quietly, not looking at him as she spoke,
“
we have not yet laid down our pallets. I would leave the matter of rooms to you, though I have looked through the chambers and there is adequate space for all.
”

He seemed to grow stiff
at her side, troubled by the matter.

“
The lord
’
s chamber is in civil repair, messire,
”
she said softly.
“
You will find it comfortable enough. It is perhaps the best room in the hall.
”

“
You have seen the lady
’
s chamber as well?
”
he asked.

Felise
noticed that Maelwine had looked up from his plate and was staring at Royce.

“
I have seen it. Work needs be done there, as everywhere else.
”

“
I will not ask that you take the room,
”
Royce said evenly.

“
What would you have me do, Royce?
”
she asked.

He sighed deeply.
“
There is space enough within the keep; perhaps another room can be found for you.
”

Felise
felt her heart skip a beat. He did not offer to share his room. She had feared, the day through, that he would set her further from him with every passing moment.

“
I am aware that the room is the largest available to you, but it is filled with the ghosts of a grim past, and I see no need for you to take it simply because it was designed for
the lady of the hall. I, too, saw the condition of the room.
”
He looked at her as if he would look through her.
“
Name the chamber of your choice and I will lay a fire in that hearth for your comfort.
”

Felise quieted her trembling insides as best she could, searching for some inner wisdom. Her fondest hope had been that he would offer his room to share, his bed as hers. That he did not was one disappointment. She felt, from his words and actions, that it would be a long time before he would accept her as his wife and lady, but she would not let him set her far away. On some future day, should he prove tractable and willing, she intended to be near. If it was not possible for him to put aside his misery tonight, then she would at least show him that the ghosts of painful memories need not haunt them further.

“
The lady
’
s chamber is more than adequate. I will make a few alterations to improve it, with your permission.
”

“
You prefer it over another room?
”
he asked, his expres
sion strained as if the notion hurt him.

“
‘
Tis the lady
’
s chamber and shares a common door to the lord
’
s chamber,
”
she said.
“
That is where I should be.
”
It occurred to her to mention that he could use that door, but she lacked the courage.

Maelwine
’
s fist hit the table in unconcealed rage.
“
I won
’
t allow my sister in that room until the bars, bolts, and brackets for chains are disposed of.
”

Royce looked at him sharply, his palms pressed to the table and his thighs straining as if he would rise.
Felise
put her hand on his arm and spoke quickly to Maelwine.
“
Then pray hurry to your task of remedy, brother mine, for I am weary and would sooner find sleep than worry over some old furnishings that have no importance to me. If you wish the bars and bolts removed, then you may see to it. And I beg you remember, Royce did not install those implements to use against me.
”
She settled her voice to a gentler tone.
“
Many changes need to be made, Maelwine. Do not delay us with harsh words and insults.
”

Royce relaxed his body, though he was still staring at Maelwine.
“
The lady has chosen her room. Any improve
ment you deem necessary, you may attend to.
”

Felise
sighed in relief and turned to Vespera.
“
Will you
help me in the chamber, madam? It has been such a long
day.
”

The women escaped up the stairs, Felise fighting back the tears and going quickly, sure in her mind that Maelwine and perhaps her other brothers would be along to take the locks from the doors before she could even collect herself. She entered the room and stood within, breathing deeply, trying to smooth her hurt feelings.

“
Felise, you are not afraid of this room?
”
Vespera asked.

“
Nay,
”
she said almost angrily.
“
Why would I fear this room?
‘
Tis not a person, but a thing. There is naught here to harm me. It is the room allowed the mistress of this hall, joined to the master
’
s room, and whether he wills it or not, I am the lady here now. That he wants none of me is clear, but I will not be placed far down the hall where some lesser servant of his will must reside. I am his wife; I will take the chamber.
”

“
It only seemed he did not wish it so,
”
Vespera quietly tried to correct.

“
Nay, he does not wish it so,
”
she said, her voice catching.
“
Many things plague Royce, not the least of which is his marriage with me.
”
Large tears rolled helplessly down her cheeks as she looked beseechingly into Vespera
’
s sympa
thetic eyes.
“
He cares naught for dower riches, which should be clear to all of us after seeing his home. The only reason I am here is that he has a fierce loyalty to Henry
’
s order. Would that the king had ordered him to love me as well.
”

Vespera slowly stroked her arm.
“
Mayhap that will come with time.
”

“
That challenge is the worst of all,
”
Felise said as she wept.
“
And one I know not how to meet. But if yon lord of this wretched castle means to show me as weak, he shall fail, for I will work. And if he would reject me for my fear of ghosts, I shall end that tonight, by burying his mother
’
s memory as I live peacefully in her room. And if he chooses his grief and misery over a blessed union that would yield him peace, I cannot change him. But I will not help him to cling to his despair.
”

Her anger vented, she collapsed into Vespera
’
s arms and the woman gently held her, rubbing her back and caressing her hair.
“
Oh, my darling,
”
she soothed.
“
I am so very
proud of you.
‘
Twas my prayer every day and every night of my life that you would grow strong and with courage and wisdom. You are the only possible woman to
rule this hall. There, sweet ..
.
”

Felise slowly withdrew from Vespera
’
s arms and looked at her.
“
Beg pardon, madam,
”
she sniffled.
“
What did you say?
”

Vespera smiled.
“
I said you are the only woman worthy of making this a home for Royce. No other could possibly do what you can do.
”

“
Before that,
”
she asked.
“
What did you say before?
”

“
I said I have prayed for you ... for your courage and wisdom in this troublesome circumstance. And you see? Our prayers were answered. You shall win this battle, Lady Felise. And I am proud of you.
”

Felise cocked her head, for that was not what she thought she had heard.

“
Dry your eyes,
”
Vespera said, running a gentle finger along Felise
’
s cheek.
“
I
’
m certain Sir Maelwine will not let you sleep before the doors are repaired to his liking.
”
She whispered, as if there was some great secret.
“
Do not let your noble brother see that you weep. He will surely think the worst.
”

Felise nodded, silently agreeing that this extra protection by her brothers was causing her more trouble than help. She lifted her hem to wipe her eyes, and the two women began unrolling pallets to sleep upon.

Ten

Within just a few days, the work inside the hall had progressed in a manner that pleased everyone. Even
Felise
, in her most optimistic thoughts, could not have hoped for so much. Each of Royce
’
s men-at-arms seemed to have some special skill in either carpentry, masonry, or another craft that was put to quick use. Money and hard work were needed to make it a rich-looking hall, but it emerged as safe and adequate in little time.

The men Royce had gathered over a period of many years had not served any other Leightons before, and while they were not protected from the gossip about the family, they found no fault with Royce. They, like
Felise
, seemed to brush aside the old worries of a family curse and worked diligently to make Segeland an acceptable place. That faithful troop took the edge off the bitterness that seemed to hover over the hall and town. Whenever some unkind comment was made about the previous lords, a knight would simply respond,
“
That was before Sir Royce.
”
Seeing her husband through the eyes of his loyal vassals gave her hope. They had been with him a long time, and none doubted his goodness and strength.

Daria
’
s first assignment to the kitchens had evolved
quickly into her management of same. She was heady with the power of commanding the two village women and experimenting with the food brought from the forest and Coventry. Her duties to Felise lapsed immediately, and
Felise
did not miss the maid
’
s attentions in her bedcham
ber.

Vespera, on the other hand, quickly assumed the chamber duties for Felise. She began brushing her long hair, prepar
ing her baths, arranging and keeping her clothing and other personal items, and staying close not only as a servant but as a companion. All three women thrived on the change.

Early one morning, while Vespera was laboriously braid
ing and winding Felise
’
s hair, Felise clicked off a long litany of chores she would attend to.
“
While this hall could occupy me for long weeks to come, I see that it is time I took a closer look at the town and people. I don
’
t know what Royce has done there.
”

“
He seems to be concerned mainly with the perimeters of the property, the wall, and the stables,
”
Vespera said.
“
I see him ride out often, but he spends little time here.
”

Felise
thought for a moment.
“
Perhaps he will accustom himself to this place soon.
I
worry that he is not best suited to deal with the villeins. He seems to encourage their preoccupation with worries.
”

“
He is worried himself, lady,
”
Vespera said quietly.
“
‘
Tis hard to show a bright countenance when that is not what one feels.
”

“
Indeed,
”
Felise sighed.
“
His choice of mood is not mine to tamper with, but whatever energy I put into this house, it is only as sound as the people of the town. If their poverty and ills and fears need tending to, we must not await Royce
’
s whim. His dark mood could outlast his people
’
s needs.
”

They finished a morning meal in the hall and, judging everyone to be hard at work and needing no advice, direction, or supervision, Felise and Vespera walked from the hall to the village. Again Felise found the people to be mostly out of sight. Although it was still too cold for planting and there seemed to be no animals to tend, she wondered why all the activity in and around the hall had not induced these people to open their doors and let
themselves be seen. They walked down the road, past the huts, to the end of the town where the gate stood open so that the knights, hunters, and laborers could come and go freely. Still, no one came outside to speak with them.

The house that stood closest to the wall and gate was of the best quality in the town. Here, the door opened and Colbert came outside.
“
Good morningtide, lady. May I give you some assist?
”

Felise was relieved to see him, since all the closed doors had given her a dreary feeling.
“
Indeed, Master Colbert. I have come from the hall to see these people Lord Leighton will work to protect. Why do they hide from us?
”

“
Beg pardon, lady, but they are by nature a suspicious lot.
”

“
They are slow to understand that we wish them no ill. I would, in fact, look to their gravest needs. Would you help me, or must I rap on each door?
”

He frowned his displeasure.
“
Mayhap it would be better to give them time to open their doors and
--
”

“
Even you are slow to accept my good intentions toward this place.
”
She smiled at him, trying to dissolve the memory of abuse with a display of kindness.
“
How can I convince you, sir?
”

He sighed, but his stony old face, wrinkled into a grim expression, eased but little.
“
I am loath to worry you with mean tales, but nearly every person
here has seen one of our number
either whipped or hung or beaten for the slightest offense. And in the short time since the last Leighton to rule here died, they have had other fears. They have been warned of eternal damnation simply for living here. They have long expected the return of an evil lord.
”

Felise felt her hackles rising, though she tried to keep her temper. That Royce came from brutal beginnings was understood, but she was losing patience with that old excuse. He had not, in his lifetime, done anything to these people that she was aware of. To make sure, she inquired of Colbert,
“
Has any among these people suffered punishment by Royce? Has he taken this hall and vented his wrath on this town?
”

“
Nay, madam, but
--
”

“
Then let us discover thes
e people, Colbert. They need
not hover in fear within their homes. We need their help to make this a decent place. And they need the protection and sustenance of a good master.
”

He shrugged as if beaten and walked ahead of her to the next house. He rapped on the door, but there was no response. He called out to the tenant, announcing himself, and the door cautiously creaked open. A man of perhaps thirty years stood in the frame of the door and appeared already frightened. Colbert introduced him as William, and the man bowed to Felise.

“
Do you have a family, William?
”
Felise
asked pleas
antly.

“
Aye, there are seven here. My wife and five children.
”

“
Five,
”
she exclaimed.
“
A worthy number.
”

“
‘
Twere six. One died last winter.
”

“
Illness?
”
she asked.

“
Um,
‘
twas hunger, lady,
”
he replied shyly.

Felise straightened as if slapped.
“
A child starved here, in this house?
”
she asked indignantly.

“
Aye, lady.
”

“
William, are the children hungry now?
”
she questioned.

“
There be little, lady. I farm and hunt, but I save the seed for planting and the game
’
s deep in the wood.
”

Felise
looked past William and tried to see into his small, one-room house. She saw a woman kneeling at the hearth, a child at her breast, and several small ones about the dark room. She felt a prickling anger rise at the sight of their poverty. She could think of no excuse for them to be left in this desperate condition, least of all her husband
’
s melan
choly attitude toward this place.

“
Do you have provender now that you save for the spring planting?
”
she asked. The man nodded lamely, reluctantly, as if he wished not to answer lest she take possession of what little he had.
“
Bid your wife make bread and porridge, and I will see that you have seed aplenty for the planting. And William, we must plan a larger plot for wheat and rye and some fruit trees. This town will grow over the next years and we must be ready to provide. Tonight, before the sun is set, one of Royce
’
s men will bring you meat. I can
’
t have your family thin if you
’
re to work for our harvest.
”

William looked at her strangely and
Felise
felt he did not believe her.

“
William, henceforth when your family hungers, come to the hall and you will be provided for. We must be as one or none of us shall thrive here.
”

“
The hall, lady?
”
he asked, somewhat shaken by her suggestion.

“
I have been told it was a fearful place in years past, but you have nothing to fear from Lord Leighton. If you choose to starve rather than seek aid from your master, you do us grave dishonor. I would have you take my words close to your heart.
”

He simply stared at her, and she made a silent promise to herself to have something delivered to the man
’
s house before midday to press her intention closer to his stomach. This condition was deplorable.

“
Good morningtide, William,
”
she said, turning from his door.

As they began to walk the short way to the next house, Colbert
’
s sarcasm cut through
Felise
’
s already-thin cover of control.
“
Do you mean to fatten the whole village, my lady?
”

She stopped abruptly, enraged by the comment.
“
Will it disappoint you to learn that I will not fatten them to feed them to the wolves?
”
she responded, her temper flaring.
“
Aye, I will feed them all, if that is what is necessary to keep them alive the remainder of the year.
”

“
You will find their manner difficult to understand, lady. They are very slow to learn and may prefer hunger over visiting the hall. They have not had a master to trust in many years.
”

“
Do you conspire with these old tales to see the children starve?
”
she stormed.

“
Nay,
”
he said, defending himself.
“
It is simply that the grief and fear here are
--
”

“
You cling to that old misery more mightily than any,
”
she raged.
“
You, who see to the records of this town in Royce
’
s behalf, are as slow to aid us as any oafish mule, with your love of harsh memories. The next house, Colbert. And if you would see a better day come to this burg, you might
give your allegiance to my good intention rather than defending this old foolishness.
”

Her lips were pursed in anger and she waited while Colbert repeated the whole process of announcing himself before the door was opened to him. Again
Felise
found fear and poverty. She repeated her wish to provide, failing to grasp the cause of the anguish here. By the fourth house, again filled with thin and nervous peasants, she turned to Vespera.
“
The Leightons must indeed have been a vicious lot to have damaged these people to this extent. I cannot in my darkest nightmare imagine what terrible things must have happened here to yield this horror.
”

They had visited over a dozen small huts when a door was opened by a thin, elderly woman who Colbert introduced as Ulna, a widow.
Felise
spoke to her briefly and found her manner slightly less intractable.
“
How long have you been widowed, Ulna?
”
Felise
asked.