The Trouble with Dating Sue (Grover Beach Team #6) (26 page)

Panic struck me. Without thinking, I reached for her hand, pleading, “Wait.” I didn’t know exactly why I held her back, but she turned to me anyway. “I…” The word slipped over my lips, then nothing followed.

Sue searched my face, almost as if she was burning for me to say something. But
what
? She’d come here feeling miserable about a family fight. How could I add to that reproaches about ditching me and replacing me oh-so-quickly with my brother?

“What is it?” she prompted.

When I let go of her hand, it dropped sadly to her side. Feeling helpless, I pivoted to the window and put the cup down on the ledge, hoping the lump in my throat would dislodge.

But that took time, and Susan seemed to lose her patience. “
What
, Chris?”

I drew in a deep breath. She was still here, God knew for how much longer. This was my only chance to get the answer I needed. So, squaring my shoulders, I snapped, “Fine!” Before I could backtrack, I spun to her. “Tell me one thing. Why did you let me kiss you last weekend and then sleep with my brother the same night?”

There. It was out. Too bold? Probably.

Susan gaped at me. Then she scrunched her face and blurted, “What bullshit are you talking about?”

“
You
tell me.”

“There isn’t anything to tell!” she shot back, and much louder, too. Her eyes narrowed to angry slits. “I didn’t sleep with Ethan. What in the world made you come up with something so stupid?”

Stupid? Or
true
?
“You came back that night with him”—I crossed my arms over my chest, digging in my heels—“or should I say,
in the morning
? And you sneaked out before sunrise.” Duh! How was she going to explain that?

Actually, she didn’t. Instead, her jaw dropped with the realization of being caught—and the pain of betrayal stung me again like it was the first time. “How did you get that out of Ethan?” she whispered, defeated.

“I didn’t have to. I
heard
you!”

She contemplated that for a second and suddenly took on an offensive stance. “And your point is?”

“Wha—” Staggered, I threw my arms in the air. How could she turn the tables on me so easily?
I
wasn’t the one who’d screwed up here, dammit.
She
was! “That you spent the night with him!” That was my point ,for shit’s sake. “And
after
you kissed me the same day!”

The volume of my voice might have gone a little over the top, because Susan flinched back. Barely managing to calm myself, I added in a hurt tone, “I thought you liked it.”

Sue didn’t back away any further, but she studied my face long and hard. Her eyes gleamed with understanding, along with a surge of anger. She raked her hands through her bangs, shifting her weight from one foot to the other, and the lines around her mouth hardened. “I spent the night here for the reasons I told you fifteen minutes ago. I had a fight with my parents and ran off. But I didn’t have sex with your brother.” Looking helpless now, she sniffed and took an exhausted step backward so she could sit on my bed again. “I can’t believe that you’d really think that. And if you were so sure, why didn’t you ask Ethan?” Reproach hung heavy in her voice. “For Christ’s sake, why didn’t you ask
me
?”

Because I was so hurt, I thought I’d never talk to you again.

Now, as the core of her statement sank in, I suddenly felt like a complete idiot. She’d sent me a text last Sunday morning. What might have happened if I’d answered it? “Are you saying I hit rock bottom over nothing?”

Her face turned red with frustration. “I’m saying, please, for once in your life, think before you act. Do you know what a horrible week I’ve had because of you?”

Because of
me
? Thrown for a loop, I leaned back until I felt the window sill behind me and gripped the cold ledge for support. “What do you mean? I thought you were feeling miserable because of your parents.”

Horror suddenly zoomed through her eyes, and she pressed her lips together. If I hadn’t known better, I would have thought she wanted to take back whatever she’d just said. After a moment of silently staring at me, she dropped her forehead in her cupped hands, avoiding my gaze. “Yeah, that too,” she murmured into the cuffs of her pink sweatshirt.

“So what did
I
have to do with it?” I had to know, and right this moment, too.

She didn’t look up. “Nothing. Forget it.”

Yeah, as if!

She couldn’t come here, break down in my arms, let me hold and comfort her, and then backpedal when things got sticky. Her parents’ fight was one thing troubling her, but another one was
me
. So what the hell—

And then, slowly, one piece after the other clicked into place, completing the puzzle of Susan Miller.

She hadn’t known I’d heard her with my brother on Sunday morning, so she must have thought I was ignoring her for a different reason. The challenge. Was that it? She thought I was done with her after our first—and let me add
amazing
—kiss. She sent me a text the next morning, and I ignored it. We met in the hallway on Monday, and all she got from me was the cold shoulder. And dammit, today I’d purposefully mislead her with Rebecca Evers. What kind of an asshole would do that?

The answer was simple: me. Because I’d fallen for little Sue and foolishly thought she’d abandoned me for my brother. I rubbed my hands over my face, sighing deeply. Jeez, what a mess I’d maneuvered myself into.

I needed to get this straight, and fast. So, first on the list of amends was clarifying what happened at school today, when we ran into each other—or rather, when I’d made her knock into me and Becky. Suddenly a small detail of our earlier conversation resurfaced in my mind. Had she actually said she’d left school after that incident? That’s why I hadn’t seen her at lunch. So what if the Becky thing had struck her harder than I’d guessed?

“Susan?” I asked in a softer voice than I actually thought I was capable of.

She lowered her hands, but she didn’t lift her gaze to me yet. “Hm?”

“Why did you go home after third period today?”

Head low, she remained silent.

“Susan,” I pushed again, with a little more insistence, and walked over to where she sat on my bed. “Tell me.”

All she did was shake her head.

“Why not?” I squatted down in front of her and tipped her chin up with my knuckle. Damn, she was close to tears again, and this time I couldn’t deny that it was my fault. I wanted those tears to go away, more than anything. But for that to happen, we needed to talk about things. So, once again, I prompted her, “Tell me why you left school after we ran into each other in the hallway today.”

With her chin in my hand, only her gaze broke free from mine. The damage was done; she wouldn’t talk to me. I felt so helpless, I wanted to tear my hair out. In the end, it was clear I couldn’t make her talk if she didn’t want to. There was, in fact, nothing I could do, so I dropped my hand from her face and sank onto my knees, defeated.

She didn’t stand up, didn’t go away, and didn’t say a word. She just sat there, silent and hurt.

Carefully, I took her hands in mine. They were cold as ice. The slight tremble didn’t escape me either. I liked her fingers—long and fragile—and remembered how they’d felt at the back of my neck when we kissed. I stroked the inside of her hands for a moment, then gently laced my fingers through hers, wishing for a miracle so that the Becky thing could disappear—never happen in the first place.

“I’m sorry I hurt you.” My voice was thin and drained of all strength. A weak whisper. “But she means nothing.”

“Now that’s a hell of a relief, isn’t it?” Sue snarled, looking directly at me at last. “As if any of them ever mean something to you.”

What she said hit me straight in the center of my ego, but of course she had a point. Ultimately, I was happy she was talking to me at all. Drawing slow circles around her knuckles with my thumb, I told her with deeply felt honesty, “You do.”

“Oh, do I?” A cynical laugh escaped her. “Obviously so much so that you couldn’t wait to replace me with your next challenge right after you kissed me.”

“I swear there’s nothing going on between Rebecca and me,” I protested, holding her reproachful gaze. “She’s only a friend.”

“Rebecca…” Susan repeated the name as if it held all the gravity in this room, then she paused for a deep sigh. When she spoke next, her voice was edged with resignation. “Maybe we come from two different places, Chris, but from where I stand, it does mean something when a guy laces his fingers with a girl’s.”

She tried to pull her hands out of mine, but I didn’t let her. Instead, I squeezed them even tighter and confirmed, “Yes, it does.” Her slight gasp reassured me that she’d understood my meaning. “But not this morning.” I rolled my eyes, hating myself for making that stupid mistake. “Heck, I was a complete douche, okay? I used my friend’s girlfriend to make you jealous.”

Lowering her chin a little, her gaze settled on me with trepidation. “You did what?”

I swallowed. There was no getting out of this without coming clean with her, but the thought of confessing my stupid idea scared me. “This entire week, you seemed so happy when you were with the guys…with Ethan. Oblivious to how I felt about you. It was a stupid thing to do this morning, but I wanted a reaction.”

“And that was your plan?” She grew what felt like ten feet in front of me, even though she remained seated. “To shove a random girl in my face?”

Feeling small and intimidated, I shrugged. “Well, it did work.”

“If you only wanted my reaction, a phone call would have done, Chris!” she yelled.

I hung my head, not knowing how else to escape her anger. “Yeah, I get that… Next time, I know.”

“Next time?” Sue squeezed my hands, yet it wasn’t for affection. Rather, she balled her hands into fists, but because I refused to let go of her, her fingers wrapped tighter around mine. “There won’t be a next time,” she clarified. “Not with you and me, anyway.”

“Why not?” Fair enough, she had a right to be angry at me. But to throw everything we had away because of a fricking mistake? That was stupid. “Last Saturday was an amazing date, and we didn’t even leave the house. Don’t you think we should do it again?”

Her eyes widened with a horror I didn’t even begin to understand. What had I said that was so terrible?

After a moment, she seemed to gather herself and said in a low, contained voice, “No, I really don’t. I’m not that type of girl.”

“What type?”

“The type that’s available whenever you fancy a brief roll in the hay, or that you can send away when you’re bored of her.”

What—

Understanding dawned on me. She didn’t want to say the name out loud, but she didn’t have to. The name
Lauren
hung rich on every syllable.

Slowly, I shook my head. Silly, silly Sue. “You wouldn’t be that kind of girl for me.”

“No? I’m not sure you even know a different kind, actually.”

Whoa. That was harsh—and undeserved, too. “I do know how exclusive works,” I bit back.

“Really?” Sue angled her head. “When was the last time you had a girlfriend?”

At a time I refused to talk about now. “It doesn’t matter.”

“It matters to me.”

Of course it would. Her eyes and low voice revealed as much. But now was not the time to talk about my ex-girlfriend. In fact, there would never be a right moment to unfurl that part of my past. Staring into her eyes, I silently begged her to let it go.

A mix of anger and hurt crossed her face as she interpreted my silence totally wrong. “See, I knew you didn’t know how it works.”

My molars ground together in frustration. She wanted the truth? Fine! If it meant so much to her… “Tenth grade. Amanda Roseman. We lasted seven and a half months. She broke my heart when she left me for my once-best friend. So I decided to take a little time off from being
exclusive
.”
Happy now?

Susan’s chin dropped with surprise. For once, she was short of a reply.

I drew in a deep breath and took advantage of her silence to further my point. “That doesn’t mean I’m not willing to try it again with the right girl.”

“You think I am the right girl? Why?” She sounded sullen, the snappiness in her tone disappearing. “Because you had to wait two weeks before I let you kiss me?”

“That, and because I did stuff with you that I’ve never done with anyone else.” Except with Amanda, so I added, “Not in a long time anyway. Apart from you, my mom is the only girl who ever gets texts from me. And when I took random chicks to my room, I never cooked for them.” I rolled my eyes at the memory of last Saturday. “Or freaking played Wii golf.”

Her green irises started to gleam with a new spark of reproach. “Oh, that justifies everything, does it?”

Hell, why was she still on the offensive side? Had I not opened up enough to her yet? What did she want to hear?