The Trouble with Love (6 page)

TWELVE

Polly's tongue felt as if it was stuck to the roof of her mouth. She stared at Rhi, trying to work out exactly how much Rhi had heard. She would die if she was the one to bring Rhi's illusions crashing down.

“Hey, Rhi.” Eve flipped her hair back over her shoulders and leaned against the cupboards. “What are you doing down here?”

“I got a bit lost looking for Max,” Rhi confessed. “This boat is huge, Eve. Is your dad planning to sail round the world one day?”

“He's talked about it,” said Eve casually. “But he's always working, so I'll believe that when I see it.”

How could Eve be so cool?
Polly thought in amazement. She was acting like nothing was wrong at all.

“You're really lucky,” said Rhi. She ran a finger wistfully down the dark wooden panelling. “The biggest boat I'll ever have is the one in our bathtub.”

Eve pinched Rhi's cheek. “Poor little baby,” she said with a lopsided smile. “Hey, maybe we should make a plan for Dad's boat this summer. We could sail to France, maybe, or Spain. . .”

“The Caribbean!” Rhi suggested, her eyes shining at the prospect.

“Now
that's
what I would call a holiday,” Eve agreed.

Polly could hardly watch. Eve was so hypocritical.

“Anyway,' Rhi said, smiling, “what were you saying about Max? Have you seen him? I thought I spotted him coming this way.”

“No, sorry,” Eve said blandly. She raised her eyebrows at Polly.

She's daring me to break the news
, Polly thought.
I won't give her that satisfaction.

“He was in the corridor behind you about five minutes ago,” Polly fudged. It wasn't the whole story, but it would have to do.

Rhi rolled her eyes. “Idiot,” she said fondly. “I said I was going to be at the front of the boat.” She frowned, looking from Polly to Eve and back again. “What
were
you saying about Max just then?”

Eve looked at Polly steadily.
You tell her about me and Max, and I tell Lila about you and Ollie
, her eyes seemed to say.

Polly didn't want to be part of what was coming. It was up to Eve to tell Rhi the truth.

“Nothing, Rhi,” she said, backing out of the bedroom door. “I should go. I think I can hear Lila. See you later.”

She broke into a little jog down the corridor, keen to get out into the fresh air. The atmosphere inside the boat was stifling.

I'm so over stupid teenage boys
, she thought, elbowing her way through a couple of guys play-fighting near the ship's wheel. If Max was anything to go by, they were completely untrustworthy. Sam had seemed great, but then he had vanished without a word. And she was still hurting over Ollie's jibe about her dress.

The boat was already some distance from the harbour. Pushing through the dancing, laughing crowd on the main deck, Polly found a quiet place beside the rails and watched the crescent shape of Heartside Bay receding from view. As the white-crested waves dashed themselves against the hull beneath her feet, she lost herself in the memory of Sam: her dramatic rescue, his little boat, their amazing kiss. The sea was calming to watch. She fiddled with her new collarless neckline and looked into the depths, wondering if she might see an elusive seal.

Hearing voices, she looked up. Lila and Ollie were walking towards her, arm in arm and looking into each other's eyes. Panicking, Polly stepped backwards, almost stumbling over a coil of rope on the deck. Had they seen her? She couldn't face Ollie yet. She wasn't sure she could ever face him again.

How was it possible to hate someone and love them at the same time?

Her heart skipped as she walked swiftly out of their line of sight, diving into the crowd on the main deck again. She wished she could relax, but she couldn't.

“Get off me, you creep!”

Polly pressed herself back against the rails as Laura Whiting, one of Eve's cronies, stalked away from a group of Ollie's laughing football mates.

“Eve should never have invited those losers,” Laura muttered at Polly as she swept past. “They're a bunch of lecherous toads.”

It wasn't just the jocks who were behaving like idiots, Polly realized. It was everyone. People were losing their inhibitions, laughing too hard and pretending to trip each other up, flirting and teasing loudly, dancing and daring each other to hang over the ship's rails without holding on. All the conflict, the drama, the madness – she was not in the mood for any of it.

I should never have come
, she thought.

The idea of leaving the Heartside crowd behind and moving to America with her dad had never felt more appealing. Maybe it was time to think about it more seriously. She could do so much out in the States: focus on her fashion, enjoy the quiet of her dad's organic farm, make a whole new set of friends, who weren't idiots and didn't confuse her by having gorgeous boyfriends she wasn't meant to fancy.

“There you are!”

Polly spun round in surprise. If she had been concentrating, she would have seen Lila and Ollie making their way towards her. She cursed herself for not noticing their approach. It was hard enough talking to Lila and Ollie when they were all getting along. How was she supposed to have a conversation now?

Lila was looking unusually serious. Ollie stood a little way apart, his hands in his pockets and his eyes on the deck. It was clear that he hadn't forgotten their argument either.

“Is everything OK?” Polly asked nervously.

Lila folded her arms. She looked gorgeous as usual, in a short red tunic and laced deck shoes, with large earrings that jingled against her shoulders. “I don't know,” she said. “You tell me.”

Polly was confused. “I don't understand.”

The wind blew Lila's hair around her head in a cloud of glossy brown strands. “What's going on with you and Ollie?” she said bluntly.

Polly could feel the blood draining from her face.

“W . . . what do you mean?” she stammered.

“I saw your argument,” said Lila. “Why were you so late, anyway? We waited for ages on the dock. Eve kept saying you probably wouldn't come, but you had said that you would be there at two so we kept waiting and waiting. . . We gave up in the end and came aboard. I went to the rails to see if I could spot you, and the next thing I know you and Ollie are shouting at each other on the deck and you disappear. What's the matter?”

Polly rubbed her temples. “I . . . it's the whole thing with my dad, it's doing my head in,” she lied uncomfortably. “And I just got a shock when Ollie caught me. I thought I was going to fall into the water. There's no problem. Seriously.”

“But why are you avoiding me?” Tears trembled in the corners of Lila's blue eyes. “I saw you walking away earlier, like you couldn't wait to be out of my sight. I thought we were friends. I'd die without you at Heartside.”

Polly felt even worse than she had been feeling already. None of this was Lila's fault. She put her hand on her friend's slim brown wrist.

“I really am sorry,” she said honestly. “We
are
friends, Lila. I'm just . . . having a hard time at the moment with everything.”

“Are you sure there's nothing else?” Lila's gaze flicked towards Ollie, and she looked troubled. “I know you aren't Ollie's biggest fan, but can't you try to get along with him for my sake?”

“I don't dislike Ollie,” Polly said helplessly. “It's just—”

There was a piercing scream from the back of the yacht. The whole boat stilled.

“You—!”

Rhi was clawing at Eve like a wildcat. Doing her best to fend off Rhi's whirling blows, Eve was ducking and fighting back with everything she had.

Looking rumpled and shaken, Max was trying to intervene, holding his hands up for peace. “Rhi, stop it! You can't just—”

“Don't you
dare
tell me what I can and can't do!” Rhi screamed. Her hand connected with Max's cheek with such a ringing slap that he shouted with pain and stumbled backwards. “I trusted you! And all the time you were . . . you were. . . !”

Rhi rounded on Eve again with a shriek of unhappiness.

“Stop it!” Eve hissed, trying to defend herself from Rhi's fists. “Someone's going to get hurt.”

“Yes,” Rhi said desperately. She struck herself on the chest. “Me.
I
got hurt. Your
friend
! Didn't our friendship mean anything to you?”

“What's wrong?” Lila said, moving swiftly to Rhi's side. “What's happened?”

Max was cowering behind Eve, who stood her ground looking defiant.

“Eve,” Rhi wept. “Eve and . . . and Max. I caught them together in Eve's room. K . . . kissing.”

Lila's face was a picture of horror. “Seriously?”

People were whispering and moving around the deck. Half the group drifted towards Eve and Max, looking watchful and wary. Polly stayed with the ones gathering around Rhi and offering comfort.

“You take whatever you want, don't you, Eve?” Lila said, fixing Eve with such a burning stare Polly half-expected Eve to burst into flames. “Whoever gets hurt. What a
special
person you are.”

“Loving the protective vibe, Lila. Very macho,” said Eve. If it hadn't been Eve, Polly could have sworn there were tears in her eyes. “Life's tough sometimes, OK?” She almost looked bored. “Things get out of control and it's just what happens.”

“Nothing just
happens
,” Rhi whispered. “People
make
things happen. Evil people like you.”

Eve shrugged and sauntered away down the boat. Max followed, looking uncertainly over his shoulder at Rhi. Rhi wouldn't meet his eye.

“Show's over,” said Ollie, clapping his hands. “Can someone put on some decent music? It's like a funeral round here.”

It took a while for the party to loosen up again. A few people started dancing, but most went into huddles to discuss what had happened, staring at Rhi and whispering behind their hands. Polly felt terrible as she followed Lila, Rhi and Ollie down to the privacy of the cabin. She should have told Rhi what she had seen on Friday.

“Those two aren't worth your tears,” she said, hugging Rhi tightly and trying to overcome her feelings of guilt. “Really. Forget about them.”

“That's easy for you to say,” Rhi sniffed.

“We'll be back on shore soon,” said Ollie, looking out of the window. “So if we're planning on making Eve and Max walk the plank, we need to hurry up.”

“Tactful as ever, Ollie,” Lila said irritably as Rhi burst into tears again. “It's OK, Rhi. Cry as much as you want.”

Everyone tensed as Eve entered the cabin. She was smoothing her hair back over her head, her eyes flicking around the room.

“I want to speak to Rhi,” she said. “In private. No one else needs to be here.”

Seeing Eve standing there as if she had done nothing wrong triggered something in Polly. She walked right up to Eve, almost pushing her against the cabin wall.

“You have nothing to say that Rhi wants to hear,” she said evenly.

Eve rolled her eyes. “I only want to talk to her. Isn't that how peace talks go? You
talk
?”

“Tell her to go away,” Rhi wept.

“Ollie?” said Lila, rubbing Rhi's back. “Show Eve the door.”

“I know where the door is, thanks,” Eve said coldly. “It's my door, after all.” She lowered her voice so that only Polly could hear. “This is all your fault. Spouting off the way you did.”

Polly's heart thumped uncomfortably. “
I
wasn't kissing Max!”

Eve's eyes glittered like steel. “Rhi would never have caught us if you hadn't made her suspicious. I'll get even,” she said in a silky whisper. “Don't think I won't.”

“Are you still here?” Lila said pointedly from the other side of the cabin.

Eve stalked out, her jewelled sandals clinking on the wooden steps leading back to the deck. Polly swallowed. In that moment, even California didn't feel far enough away from Eve and her madness.

THIRTEEN

“So the train for London leaves at nine-thirty, OK?” Lila instructed Polly down the phone the next day. “We're going to have a total girly day, just you, me and Rhi. I'm going to take you to all my favourite London places, so you can forget about Heartside drama for a while. I have so much to show you. We're going to—”

“Can you hang up now?” Polly interrupted, half laughing. “It's already eight o'clock and I haven't thought about what I'm going to wear yet, let alone had any breakfast, so I need to get started. I'll see you at the station at nine-fifteen. Are we done?”

“I really want you and Rhi to relax today,” Lila said earnestly. “We're going to find some cute boys for Rhi to look at and talk about so she can wipe that loser Max from her head, and we're going to steer clear of any conversations about parents, and we're going to do some serious shopping, and we're going to catch up with each other properly. There are some awesome vintage shops that you are going to
love
. We are going to have so much fun!”

For the first time in ages, Polly felt genuinely excited. She didn't go to London very often, and with Lila and Rhi – both from London themselves – she knew she was going to have a really good time. “Understood, Captain, sir,” she said, saluting her bedroom wall.

“Don't tease me, I'm serious,” Lila insisted. “Nine-thirty, Polly! Don't do what you did on the dock yesterday and make me catch you from a moving train.”

“I'm hanging up.”

“Nine-thir—”

“Hanging up now!” Polly put down her phone, smiling.

 

The familiar dread began as she opened her wardrobe. Dress or trousers? Heels or flats? She wished she'd dyed her hair last night. She should have gone blond.

After fifteen minutes, Polly ran down the stairs in pink cigarette pants, a slim-fitting black jumper and her favourite faux-leather brogues. As she stood by the toaster, she studied her shoes. She could see her reflection in their shiny tips, and it wasn't good. She would have to change.

She took her toast back upstairs and started her outfit again. Mustard-yellow skirt this time, and a slightly sheer white shirt, and the yellow and white daisy earrings from the party on the boat. No sooner had she put the earrings on than she took them off again. She couldn't wear them today. They reminded her too much of that horrible afternoon.

The only other earrings she liked right now were a big pair of blue triangle ones. They didn't match the yellow skirt, or the pink cigarette pants, or the black jumper. They didn't match anything. Why had she bought them?

At nine o'clock, Polly was paralysed in the middle of her room, wearing her underwear, her triangle earrings, her make-up and nothing else. The nasty little voice was clamouring in her head: nothing matched, nothing suited her.

She forced herself to pull a long dark blue maxi skirt from the cupboard, and a silvery T-shirt. She slipped her feet back into her brogues and headed purposefully for the top of the stairs. It was a ten-minute walk to the station. She couldn't miss the train.

What is wrong with me?
she thought in despair as she hesitated at the top of the stairs. The urge to examine herself in the mirror again was overpowering.

She returned to her room and wriggled back into her pink cigarette pants, the silver T-shirt and a fake leather jacket she'd customized with silver braid. With a chunky necklace she could get away without any earrings today. Brogues, check. Bag, check. Make-up, check.

You have to leave now
, Polly ordered herself, putting the blue earrings neatly on her dresser.

Pausing hopelessly at the top of the stairs again, she closed her eyes. She had read somewhere about not pressuring yourself when you felt stressed. By choosing the right words, she could empower herself and leave her worries behind.

You want to leave
, she thought, breathing slowly.
You are choosing to leave.

She made it through the front door, pulling it behind her with a click.
I am choosing this
, she thought over and over again as she broke into a gentle jog, her bag bouncing by her side. It felt good.

 

Rhi said very little on the train, but Lila made up for it with her enthusiastic chatter.

“We'll start in Camden. You remember we used to go there years ago, Rhi? All those awesome market stalls? There's this fantastic jewellery place that does recycled beads that you'll love, Polly. And they do these amazing veggie hot dogs by the canal. I think they call them veggie bean dogs or something. I think I should warn you, though, they make me fart really badly.”

Rhi gave a little snort. Grinning, Lila squeezed her hand and offered her a Haribo.

“Remind me not to sit next to you on the way home,” Polly said, laughing.

Camden was around twenty minutes on the tube from the station. The tube was crowded with kids around their own age, and the chatter was loud and cheerful. Polly held her bag against her belly, leaned back against the window and listened to Lila describing her favourite shop.

“It's awesome because there are these new designers that no one's ever heard of, and their clothes are amazing but really cheap, and you can be the only person wearing their stuff and everyone's, ‘Wow, where did you get that?' and you can smile mysteriously and be this unique fashion person.”

“Polly's that already,” Rhi said with a quiet smile.

Polly felt ridiculously pleased. She put one arm round Rhi's waist and the other round Lila's. Lila was right, as usual. They
were
going to have fun today.

 

Camden was full of cobbles and steps, brightly painted canal boats, street musicians and even more awesome vintage shops and market stalls than Lila had described. Polly bought a bag of old buttons from one stall, and an embroidered silk bag from a vintage shop, and a pair of large silver earrings shaped like birds which she put straight in her ears. Rhi limited herself to a neat brown leather bag stamped with little bones while Lila heaped her arms with T-shirts and bangles.

“Thank God Ollie didn't come,” Lila gasped, as at last they staggered into a café near the canal and dumped their bags under a free table by the window. “He would have moaned the
whole
morning.”

Polly's heart jumped at the mention of Ollie. She smoothed her hair behind her ears, and felt her new earrings brush against her fingers.

“He's great and everything, but I would have murdered him by about eleven o'clock,” Lila added. “Boys and shopping don't go, do they?”

“Max—” Rhi started, then stopped almost at once.

Polly realized it was the first time Rhi had mentioned her ex-boyfriend all morning. “Is an idiot?” she suggested, laying her vintage buttons out in a neat row on the table in size order.

Rhi smiled bravely. “When I saw Max with Eve on the boat yesterday, it was like. . . I can't even describe what it was like,” she said with a sigh. “It was like he had ripped my heart out of my chest and stamped on it.”

“Ouch,” said Lila, shaking her head.

“I mean, Eve is really pretty and everything,” Rhi went on, “so I understand why Max did it. But Eve will get bored of him soon. Then I'll win him back and everything will be fine again.” She looked hopefully at the others.

Polly couldn't believe what she was hearing. Rhi wanted Max
back
? After what he'd done?

Lila almost choked over her sandwich. “Are you
insane
?” From the look on her face, she felt the same as Polly. “Why would you want that two-timing creep back in your life?”

“You deserve someone so much better than Max,” said Polly, willing Rhi to see reason. “Someone who'll never hurt you like he did.”

Rhi's eyes got watery. “The trouble is, I don't want anyone better. I just want him.”

They finished their smoothies and packed their shopping into their shoulder bags. The mood had changed somehow. Thoughts of Eve and Max had spoiled things.

“Whoa, things just got busy,” said Lila, stopping dead as they came out of the café. “What's going on?”

A flood of people surged down the road, carrying banners and slogans and chanting something. Police officers in hi-vis jackets had materialized on the street corners, looking watchful as the crowd swelled and pushed and shouted.

Polly pressed herself back against the café door, trying not to get jostled. She stared at the placards being held high in the air.

SHARE OUR WORLD! said one. CLEAN AIR, CLEAN SEA, CLEAN SOUL, said another. It was some kind of environmental protest.

Polly suddenly realized she was alone. Rhi and Lila had got caught up in the crowd, leaving her behind on the pavement.

“Wait!”

She stumbled into the road, trying to avoid the press of bodies and catch up with the others. It was impossible. All she could see was backs and feet, and all she could hear was the blast from the loudhailers all around her. She spun back, feeling frightened. The café and the pavement were already some distance away.

And she couldn't see Lila or Rhi at all.