The Trouble with Patience (13 page)

“Then I will . . . Jed. It's strange, but when I was a child my mother only called me Patience when she was angry with me.”

“Is that so? Then what was
your
nickname?”

“It was . . . well, it was ‘Patty.'”

“Would you like me to call you Patty?”

“Actually, no. When I'm special to someone, I'd rather that person decide on a nickname for me.”

Jedediah was quiet for a moment, knowing they weren't special like she meant.
But given the chance
, something might develop
, he thought hopefully. “I hope you don't mind if I tell you how . . . well, how different you look tonight.”

“And that's a good thing?”

“Oh, absolutely! With your hair done up . . . and no apron and work dress on . . .” He stumbled around for the right words. “I hardly recognized you. You do look very pretty,” he managed to choke out, surprised he'd been able to say it at all.

“Why, thank you, Jed. That's not a word I'm used to hearing. I've never expected much of my appearance, whether dressed up for an occasion or not. My mother wasn't one to waste a compliment.”

“I don't mean to offend you, Patience, but sometimes a mother can be wrong. Beauty is external, but don't underestimate the inward qualities that can make one beautiful. And you have both.”

Her face flushed, and then she said, “I must say you look rather handsome yourself.”

Me?
The woman must be nearsighted.
The thudding in his chest had finally slowed before he admitted to himself that she was the first woman he'd been attracted to in years. Holding Patience this close made his hands tremble and his legs feel like they'd turned to jelly. He hoped she didn't notice, and took a deep breath to steady himself.

He sure did wish she'd come to the dance with him, but unfortunately he was stuck with Millie, at least for this event.

But then again, maybe not. He saw Cody and Millie standing near the barn door. Cody leaning against the wall, and Millie bending closer each time he said something. She'd laugh, and he would smile back. Mutual flirting, Jedediah determined, and fine with him.

“Your escort seems to be having a good time with Millie,” he finally worked up nerve to say as Patience swung about with the rhythm of the waltz.

“Mmm . . . I noticed that too, and now they're dancing. I wonder if he'll have to provide transportation home for
two
women tonight.” When she laughed merrily, Jed joined in, assuring her that she needn't worry about it.

When the waltz ended, he escorted her over to Emily and Monty, and the four stood and watched Hannah and Joe dancing the next waltz. Jedediah was amazed how well Joe had cleaned up. He'd obviously bathed and washed his hair, trimmed his beard, and pressed his worn but clean pants and stiff white shirt for the occasion. He'd even added a string tie—from where, Jedediah had no idea. He watched the little miner moving stiffly about, holding Hannah around the waist while they danced, but she was all smiles.
Guess I'
ll have to
eat my words—looks like she's
actually giving the man a second glance.

When Hannah and Joe walked over to the little group, Hannah gave Patience a quick hug. “My, but you're a fine dancer, Patience. I saw you out there, turning and twisting and swinging back and forth.”

Patience laughed. “Thank you, but you should have seen me on the earlier dances. I had two left feet.”

“Have you met Joe?” Hannah nodded to her partner.

“No, I haven't. Nice to meet you, Joe.”

“Likewise, I'm sure.” The six stood talking for a while, Joe standing next to Hannah with a grin on his grizzled face. At a lull in the conversation, he pulled her back onto the dance floor. “See y'all later,” he said around another grin. Jedediah couldn't help but smile at this highly unexpected development.

“I don't see Cody anywhere,” Jedediah commented when he saw Patience looking around. She seemed embarrassed that her escort was nowhere in sight. “Guess we'll have to dance again,” he said lightly, offering his arm.

“But what about Millie?” she asked as she slipped her arm through his.

“I don't want you to feel bad, Patience, but I figure the two of them are probably off together someplace. Millie can take care of herself though.”

“And I can't?” she cocked an eyebrow at him.

He shifted his feet. “That's not what I meant. It's just that I feel Millie knows her way around men, if you know what I mean.”

“I see. Then I'd rather get some fresh air, if you don't mind.”

“Not at all,” he said, turning her toward the door.

They strolled away from the barn and onto the immaculate stretch of lawn, lit only with occasional lanterns and a partial moon. They soon found themselves away from the other guests and in a fragrant rose garden.

“How lovely!” Patience exclaimed. “Judith must enjoy gardening. I'd love to have some roses like these.”

They paused in front of the bushes, Patience inhaling the scent from the different varieties, and Jedediah was amazed at how much Patience knew about them all.

“Oooh. I love these pink ones,” she breathed as she lowered her head to the beautiful bloom.

Jedediah pulled out his pocketknife, reached over her, and snipped the rose to place in her hair. “Looks better there.”

In the moonlight, he wasn't sure if she blushed or not. Her eyes seemed all soft and glowing, her lips the color of the pink rose, slightly parted and tempting him. Before he knew what he was doing, his arms had circled her in a swift embrace. Heat filled his face, and his heart pounded so hard he was sure Patience could hear it. Would she let him kiss her?

But she was already pulling away, visibly shaken. Her fingers touched her hair, patting it into place, and her eyes, large with surprise, looked into his, then quickly away. “I . . . Jed . . . I think we'd better go back inside and join the party.”

“I'm—I'm truly sorry, Patience. I don't know . . . I'm not sure what came over me just now. It must be the moonlight and the roses.”
And you
, he said only to himself.

Patience could still feel the warmth of Jedediah's arms around her as his hand pressed the small of her back, guiding her inside the barn. She felt quite flustered and looked around the dance floor in a daze. She noticed Cody come off the dance floor with a young woman, and Patience saw him return her glance while he continued to talk with his most recent dance partner.
Not
Millie
,
I
see
.
I
'
m
glad
he
was
far
too
busy
to
miss
me
, she told herself with a little shrug
.

Cody said something further to the woman, then strode over to them. “Where have you been?” His eyes narrowed. “I was looking all over for you.” He looked from Patience to Jedediah.

“Just getting some fresh air—it was getting rather close with all these people in the room.” Patience caught Jedediah's eye.

“I probably should go find Millie,” Jedediah murmured. “If you'll excuse me.” He bowed and walked away.

Before Cody could say another word, Harold Osborn, the clerk from the mercantile, joined them. “Please, Miss Patience, may I have this next dance?”

Patience almost said no, but feeling slightly sorry for the awkward young man, said, “Yes, you may. Excuse us, Cody.” She nodded, and Harold took her hand and led her onto the dance floor.

She held herself erect as Harold tried to pull her close.
I sure don't want him to get any
ideas into that red head of his
. She sighed in relief as the dance ended. He thanked her, led her back to the side of the room, then reluctantly left when she purposefully turned away.

Cody finally had the opportunity to spin Patience around the dance floor with a waltz. “So how do you like your new job, Cody?” Patience asked.

“It's all right . . .” He paused a moment, then added, “John's a good man. I hope someday to be a rancher's foreman so I can quit having to wander from place to place, depending on the season.”

“Are you sure you can't find that around here?”

“Nobody trusts a stranger in these parts. I can't blame them—I don't trust anyone either. Too many road agents left bad reputations, so folks don't want to get burned.” His jaw clenched, his lips forming a tight line.

“Sounds like you've been misused before.”

She felt his body stiffen. “Let's just say I was in the wrong place at the wrong time,” he finally told her. “Someday, I'll find the vigilante who had it in for me for no good reason.”

“Why? Were you in trouble? Maybe jailed by him?” She was getting curious about the reason for his anger and mistrust. It wasn't the first time Patience had observed that faraway look, usually when he thought no one was looking.

“Something like that,” he said. “Let's not waste our time talking about it. Not now.”

“All right, but you might consider forgiveness, Cody. If you have resentment in your heart, it will only eat away at you. Besides, you're still here and enjoying life, it seems.” She squeezed his hand.

“I don't think forgiveness is likely,” he muttered. The dance ended, and after another glass of punch, Patience said, “I'm about ready to get back home—how about you?” She looked around at the other guests beginning their departures.

“Really? All tuckered out? I'm not, but I'll take you home,” Cody abruptly responded.

“It
is
getting rather late, and I promised Emily we'd go to church together tomorrow. I'd better get home. But if you'd rather stay longer, I can catch a ride with her and Monty.”

“Aww . . . I hate for you to do that . . .” But even as he said it, he was glancing around the dance floor.
Is he looking for
Millie, or one of the other ladies?

“Oh, it's no problem,” she assured him. “You stay and enjoy the rest of the dance.”

He turned back to Patience. “If you're sure. I
am
having a good time . . .”

Yes, and it doesn't include me! I don't
know why I thought he was attracted to me. I
should've known better
. “Truly, it's not a problem,” she said, taking a step toward the door.

“Okay. See you soon.” And before she could respond further, he hurried away, making a beeline for Millie.

Well! He could've
at least walked me to the door. Apparently I don'
t begin to compare to Millie.
Slightly miffed, she gathered up her skirts and hurried away to find Monty and Emily.

She was just about to give up when Jedediah approached her. “Are you looking for someone?” he asked, an eyebrow
cocked. “Cody's inside dancing with Millie,” he said with a grin, apparently not too worried that she would be perturbed.

“Silly, I know that! I was looking for Emily and Monty,” she told him, eyes still searching the room.

“Sorry, but you just missed them. They left about five minutes ago,” Jedediah said.

“Oh, dear! I was hoping to catch a ride home—”

Jedediah laughed, and pointedly looked over at Cody, still dancing. “A lovers' quarrel?”

Patience rolled her eyes. “Hardly. I've told you before we're only friends. I wanted to leave, but Cody wanted to stay longer. Neither of us was with someone special tonight,” she added, looking at Jedediah, then quickly away as she felt her cheeks warm.

He pushed his hat further back on his head. “Well, you're in luck,” he said with a grin, obviously enjoying her discomfort, “because I'm just about to pull out of here. Millie seems to be enjoying Cody's company more than mine. You're welcome to hitch a ride with me. Or of course you can stay here and wait for Cody. But I have a gut feeling he's going to be leaving with somebody else tonight.”

Patience pretended to consider his offer. “Well . . . I suppose you're right. Yes, and thank you,” she added, her formal tone belying her rapidly beating heart.

Moments later, in Jed's carriage, Patience draped her shoulders with her shawl, crossing her arms to her chest—to protect her shoulders from the cool air or from Jedediah's closeness? She wasn't certain. He had a magnetic pull on her that she couldn't quite explain. She wondered what he was thinking.
Is he feeling—?

“Are you comfortable?” his voice interrupted her thoughts.
“If you're cold, I have a blanket in the back of the wagon I can put over your legs,” Jedediah said.

“No, thank you. I'm perfectly warm.” She peered through the darkness at him, his profile outlined in the lantern's light.

He clicked to the horse, and they headed toward Nevada City, the bright lights from the ranch fading into the distance behind them.

“Did you enjoy the evening?” Jedediah asked in a conversational tone.

“It was fun,” Patience told him, also keeping her voice neutral. “I admit that I had two left feet when it came to the square dancing. But it was loads of fun trying to learn the calls.” Patience glanced at him again but couldn't tell much about his expression in the dark.

A great horned owl startled her with hoots from its perch, and she looked to her right in time to catch a glimpse of those bright yellow eyes staring back at them. “What a beautiful creature!” she couldn't help but exclaim. “His eyes seem to pierce right through to my soul . . .” Patience twisted in her seat as they drove past the bird perched on the limb of a ponderosa pine.

“Right you are. I've felt the same way.” Jedediah turned to look at her. “Have you ever sat below a wonderful ponderosa pine?”

“I can't say that I ever have,” she answered, wondering if he would continue.

“In the hot summer, the tree smells like a mixture of citrus and turpentine, but the bark smells like vanilla. It's very pleasant.” He looked back at the road, then added, “Maybe we could have a picnic beneath one sometime so you can experience that.”

Patience's next breath caught in her throat. “How interesting,” she finally managed. “I like your idea. Yes, perhaps we can have a picnic soon. I could put together a basket . . .”

“Unless, of course, you and Cody have an understanding . . . ,” Jedediah put in, obviously trying to hide a grin.

Patience chuckled. “Cody and I are only friends, as you might have noticed tonight. It would be—would be nice to have someone to do things with.” Her voice sounded rather lame to her own ears.

“You do, Patience,” he said, a smile in his voice. “You've got Emily.”

“Jed, is it possible you might be just a bit . . . well, a bit envious of my time spent with Cody?”

“Nah,” he said easily. “But maybe since Emily works with you now, you two could find plenty to do together.” He looked at her, his grin making clear he was purposefully acting thickheaded, then added, his voice now gruff, “It seems to me Cody's just about worn his welcome out, hanging around the Creekside.”

“He was looking for work and helping me out too. He did have a room at the boardinghouse until he got his ranch job. He's not renting a room there any longer.” She chuckled softly. “I hardly think he's got any designs on me—at least not any longer. You're right, Jed. I saw how he flirted with all the eligible ladies at the dance.”

“In that case,” he responded carefully, “do you think I was out of line . . . with the embrace earlier tonight?” He'd slowed the horse's pace to a walk, then did a half turn in his seat, the reins resting across his legs.

Patience could feel her heart beating faster.
Oh, what do I
do, Lord? I don't want my heart broken again
.
But I do think I'm beginning to care about
him.

She swallowed hard, then answered, “Uh . . . not exactly. It was a surprise though. I didn't realize you had any feelings . . .” But she couldn't finish.

Jedediah steered the horse to the side of the road and pulled back on the reins. Only the lantern shone through the darkness surrounding them, silent at the side of the road.

———

Her eyes were large and luminous in the lantern's light but held a softness beneath those long lashes. They also held uncertainty, and Jedediah, who yearned to kiss her, knew she wouldn't want that right now.

It had been a very long time since he'd allowed himself to even imagine that any woman might be drawn to him. Was it possible? He turned away with a ragged breath and looked into the darkness, then back at her. But she simply sat there staring at him. Finally she straightened her shawl over her shoulders, looked away, and brushed at her eyes.

Was she blinking back tears? He hoped they were good ones. “Patience, I hope you don't think me too forward,” he said, his voice low.

“I don't know what to say. We haven't known each other very long, and I don't want to get ahead of myself or the Lord. I am coming to . . . to care for you, but I think we should take our time, get to know each other better before . . .”

“I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable,” he said when she didn't finish. “I think I understand what you are saying. Please forgive me.” His brow felt damp in the summer night, despite the cooling air. He picked up the reins, and the horse began to move forward. “But I'm glad you have been honest with me about your feelings,” he managed to say, his throat tight with emotions, his mind crowded with thoughts. After a
while he asked, “Does this mean I may court you in the proper manner?” When she didn't answer right away, he was sure he'd made a huge mistake. He glanced quickly at her. “Well?”

Patience sighed. “I'm not sure I'm ready for anything that serious.”

“Who said anything about serious?”

She gave a small ladylike cough. “Well, doesn't ‘serious' go along with a man who asks about courting?”

Jedediah was thoughtful for a moment. “Sometimes . . . but not always. Courting, at least at the beginning, gives two people time to get to know each other, see how well they might fit together . . . sort of like a puzzle.”

“I see.”

“We could start with that picnic next week under the ponderosa pines, if you're willing.” He couldn't believe he had worked up the nerve to ask her again. He'd spent a few sleepless nights thinking about just such an outing.

The lights from the town were getting closer. “Let me think about it,” she finally answered.

Jedediah sure didn't want to push what seemed to be a glimmer of good fortune. To fill in the time during the remainder of the ride, he asked, “Do you have any siblings?”

“No. I was an only daughter. Mother has a weak heart. Gradually it was more and more clear to me that she had wanted a son . . .” Her voice trailed off, and he saw her hand once again wipe at her eyes.