The Truth About Fairy Tales (22 page)

             
Jackson and I had already exchanged our presents. Well, that is, I’d given him the sweater he claimed to love and he told me much to my grumbling that he was taking me to the ocean for my Christmas present. I made him promise that it was to be my birthday gift as well because otherwise I’d never accept such a generous gift. He reluctantly agreed.

             
We sat in my little hiding spot on my grandmother’s roof looking at the stars and both of us quietly listening for some hint of a decision downstairs.

             
“You think she’ll say yes?” he asked me and I only grinned at him with a, ‘are you crazy of course she’ll say yes,’ look on my face.

             
“She’s crazy about him. She’ll say yes if she knows what’s good for her.”

             
He laughed at that. “So you’re okay with all of this? You didn’t seem to be as positive about that a few days ago.”

             
“Yeah, I’m okay with it. I just needed to have someone set me straight. And Lee did that.”

             
“Ah, I guessed as much. So this is your little hiding spot, huh? You ever imagine you’d have someone else up here with you, Maggie?”

             
“No.” Suddenly, I was finding it very hard to speak. Jackson had that sound in his voice. That tender little lilt I found impossible to resist lately. I loved everything about him including that lilt.

             
Then I remembered all the little things that I didn’t know about him. All the things that seemed so important now, that I’d been too much in a lovesick haze to realize before this moment.

             
“Jackson, tell me about yourself.”

             
I think that little out of the blue comment just about shocked him into speechlessness.

             
“What do you mean, little bit? You know all there is to know about me.”

             
I was sitting so close to him that I could feel his heart beating against my ear and I was so in love with him. I turned to look up at him directly. “I don’t. Not really. We always talk about me, but I want to know about you. What were you like growing up?”

“I was rich and spoiled, Maggie. You’re shocked, but it’s true nonetheless. I was your typical teenage kid with too much money and too many friends to help him enjoy it. It took my father’s death to finally get me to grow up and take responsibility for my own life. I was fifteen at the time. Living at home and partying just about every single night of the week. I think my father had just about given up on me when he died. He never got to see that I turned out okay. I think he knows, though. My mom, well she pretty much fell apart and my brother came back home to take over the running of the family business then.

“My father’s death changed me, Maggie. It made me realize just what a dangerous road I was heading down if I didn’t change. My brother helped me see that as well. I graduated, went away to the best schools and came back home to join him running the business when it was still failing miserably. And then my brother Raymond was killed. I think that was it for my mom. She died a few years later, but she never really was the same after that. I was left to try and keep Ben out of the same trouble I’d gotten into. I didn’t want him following the same path that I went down, because I knew how destructive that was. He was so close to doing that in Austin.”

             
I’d been listening to him talk and realized I was crying. Yep, actually crying at the tragic story I’d never known. “Why didn’t you tell me this? We’ve been together for a while now and you never shared your life’s story with me.”

             
“Oh, Maggie, it has nothing to do with you. It’s just not something I like to talk about, really. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my past. Some I’d just like to forget.”

             
“Like all those women you’ve been with?” I could have kicked myself for asking him that one. I didn’t want to know their names or how many there were, did I?

             
“You want to know about them? I’ll tell you, but I don’t want to hurt you and I can’t lie to you about it, little bit, so make sure that’s what you want to know before you ask it.

             
“No, I don’t want to know. I’m sorry I asked. Just forget it.”

             
I was trying to untangle his arms from around me. All at once, I needed to put some space between Jackson and myself. I was so afraid I’d just revealed far too much to him.

             
“Sit down, Maggie.” With those three little words, I did exactly what he said. I might not want to face his past, but he certainly didn’t want to keep it a secret from me anymore.

             
“Like it or not, it’s time we both were honest with each other about the past. So let’s just get it out and get it over with and put it to bed once and for all.”

             
That had me squirming like crazy. No way I was telling this guy, who had pretty much confessed that he’d been with more women than I ever wanted to know about, that he was my one and only. There was just no way.

             
“I’ve never really had a serious relationship before you. There have been lots of women in my past whom I’ve slept with, maybe even a few that I felt more than just a mild attraction for, but you’re the only one I’ve ever felt this way about. Does that answer your questions? Or do you want to hear numbers?”

             
Oh, yes. It did and then some. Sure, it stung to think about all the others, but I knew now that I was different. He’d just told me as much. That was the important thing.

             
“Now, it’s your turn. Tell me about your past.”

             
“I…can’t.” I wondered if I stood a chance of outrunning him if I tried.               “Why not? I’ve just told you about my sordid history. Surely you can share anything with me?”

             
“I can’t…”

             
“Maggie.” The anger and frustration in his tone grew and I closed my eyes. I forced the words out before I lost the courage.

             
“I can’t, Jackson, because I don’t have a history. I don’t have a past, as sad as that is to admit. You’re it.”

             
Now any self-respecting twenty-five year old would have been thoroughly embarrassed to admit that even to her best friend, much less, the guy she was sleeping with, but there it was, out in the open. And what was this sophisticated man of the world’s response to that? Well, he was laughing.

             
“Jackson!”

             
“I’m sorry.” He tried to dry the tears streaming down his face. “And it’s not as if I don't believe you. It’s just that I’m still remembering how good you were. Are you sure? Maybe you forgot?”

             
I hit him hard on the arm. As hard as I could with my closed fist against his arm. Was I sure? Was he out of his mind?

             
“Okay, okay! I’m sorry. It’s not that I didn’t guess as much, but you have to admit for a—”

             
“Don’t you dare say the word…”

             
“Well, you didn’t hold anything back, now did you? You were the best I’ve ever had.”

             
“Oh shut up, Jackson…” I was angry and embarrassed, crying and insulted. I have to admit part of me was happy as all get out.

             
“Oh, no you don’t. You’re crying? Oh baby—don’t cry. I wasn’t trying to hurt your feelings.  That was not a complaint. I didn’t have any idea. You were so good.”

             
“I was?”

             
“Uh huh. Still are. But a—”

             
He was going to say it and I couldn’t let him. “Don’t say that word! I hate that word. It’s so…medieval.”

             
“Maggie…it’s just a word and your just a girl. Seriously, do you have any idea how special that makes me feel? Even though I know you didn’t plan on giving it away to me that night. I kind of took it from you, didn’t I? Oh gees.” He said that as if remembering again everything that had taken place between us that night. “All those terrible things I said to you about your mother? Oh Maggie, I’m so sorry.

             
“I wish I could take it all back. It would have been different had I known. I thought your type was just about extinct. Some sort of urban legend or something.” He laughed again when I tried to stand up.

             
“Maggie, where do you think you’re going?” Jackson asked, suddenly serious again.

             
“I’m going to see if my grandmother accepted the proposal, if you’ll let go of my hand!”

             
“No, you’re not. You’re running away because you’re scared.” He tugged at my hand and I was back in his arms again.

             
“You think you know me so well, Jackson."

             
“I do you know you so well, little bit. I’d be willing to bet I know you better than even you’re grandmother does.”

             
“That’s crazy—she’s family.”

             
He laughed again, but this time that indulgent sound had returned to his voice. “But true nonetheless and that’s what scares you isn’t it, little bit? That I know you better than anyone you’ve ever known before, even family.”

             
I couldn’t answer. He was right—I was scared to death by all those things.

             
“You run when you’re frightened, Maggie. I sometimes make jokes. When I’m scared, I make jokes.”

             
I turned to look at him, surprised and moved by this confession. “You’re scared, too?”

             
“Oh, yes. You wanted to know about me, well, that’s something no one else in the world knows but you. When I’m scared, I make jokes to cover that fear. And I’m scared now, Maggie, because of what you just told me, because I’ve never felt this way before, because this is unknown ground for me.”

             
“Jackson, I didn’t tell you that to scare you or make you feel obligated to me. I don’t really know why I said it. I wish that I hadn’t.”

             
“Maggie, I’m not scared because I feel obligated to you, but for more reasons than just that. I’m scared because I’m so afraid I’m going to screw this up. This is the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I don’t want to do anything to screw it up.”

             
No matter how hard I tried that night, I couldn’t find a single one of those walls I’d been so busy building around my heart. They were gone and I’m not even sure, when they’d disappeared. Jackson had simply swept them all away. Oh, not in a forceful kind of way, but in his simple not giving up on me and not letting me push him away kind of way. Over time, unknown to me, every single one of those walls had simply vanished.

             
He hadn’t told me he loved me, but that was okay. I knew he cared about me as no one else ever would. Maybe that was all he would be capable of giving to any woman. And me? Well, I was in love. My heart was there for his taking. Open, exposed…vulnerable.

             
My grandmother accepted Lee’s proposal that night. My steadfast and sometimes solid grandmother was actually crying and looking so much in love that I hardly recognized her anymore. I guess the Monroe women went through quite a metamorphosis when they fell in love.

             
They became softer.

             
Jackson woke me up early Christmas Day, a long time before sunrise, and he dragged me out in my jammys to my hiding place.

             
“It’s freezing out here.” I grumbled only to have him look at me as if I were the Grinch.

             
“Okay.” I hoped to modify my previous grumpiness. “Okay, I’m sorry." You’re right, let’s watch the sunrise. By all means.”

             
Just as the sky turned that certain color of pink that no designer has ever been able to capture, Jackson handed me a small little present that I’d guessed he wrapped himself.

             
I almost shoved it back into his hands. “We’ve already exchanged presents, Jackson, so whatever that is, you can just take it back.”

             
I think I was probably the only woman in history that had ever talked to him like that. He wasn’t really sure how to handle me right then, but he did it in his not letting go kind of way.

             
“Yeah, well there’s one more, so deal with it, little bit.”

             
He shoved the box back into my hands and I could only stand there staring down at it. There was no way I was going to open that thing up.

             
“Open it, Maggie. It won’t bite, I promise.” I eyed him suspiciously for a long while before handing him the box back.