The Truth Behind The Lies (22 page)

Two peaceful weeks later and I didn’t hear a peep from David. I slept over at Bash’s place every night. I felt safe there at the Bash pad. I felt safe with Bash. He seemed like the type of man that could hold his own. The type of man that didn’t take shit off no one.

My type of man.

NINA

★
FRIDAY
★

“
Ich werde dich töten
!!!”

“
Ich werde dich töten
!!!”

“
Ich werde dich töten Caroline
!!!”

My eyes popped open to utter darkness. I couldn’t breathe. I gasped for air that wasn’t in my reach. I tried to physically grab for the air. I mustered all the strength I could and flailed my arms out in front of me. I clawed at nothing as I tried to break free. I reached for his hands, the hands that were tightly wrapped around my throat. I couldn’t pry his thick fingers from my neck. I’m going to die.

“
Ich werde dich töten
!!!”

“
Ich werde dich töten
!!!”

“
Ich werde dich töten Caroline
!!!”

I slapped him hard with my closed fist, a punch. I knew for sure he was now wide-awake. I saw his eyes flip open. The incoherent words had ceased. My feet moved swiftly and hurled me toward the door. I slapped the light switch. I gasped for just a bit more air. My eyes met his as we both adjusted to the light.

He was having a nightmare, a deadly anguish-filled nightmare. I heard her name. I heard Caroline. He said it more than once. He hurt me and I coughed remembering the stronghold he had on my throat.

Everything in my brain told me to run away but my body had betrayed my brain. The torture in his eyes, the worry, the utter pain, it pained me. My heart thumped until it hurt. Fear or plain old stupidity held me firmly in front of the closed bedroom door.

I should hate him. He was strong enough to have choked me to death. I was trying to remember that when I looked into his eyes. All the color in his face drained. He turned the palest white as he remembered or maybe realized what he had done to me.

He started to shake. His hands were shaking and I hadn’t noticed until he did. He clasped his hands together in an effort to stop them. He was falling apart in front of me. I wanted to comfort him but I was afraid.

His mouth fell open to speak but no words came out. I could read his eyes and he was apologizing. He was sorry he hurt me. I coughed again.

He mouthed the word. “Nina.”

Oh my. I rushed over to him and wrapped my arms around his body to calm him. I placed my head to his chest and I could hear tears that were caught in his sternum and fighting to free themselves.

His body trembled in my arms. He was trying to hold it all in. He didn’t want me to see this. Whatever this was. But he hadn’t realized it was too late. I was here. I could already see it.

I said the words of a cartoon princess. “Let it go.”

In seconds I heard it, a growl and howl that was tortured and long overdue. When was the last time this man had a good cry. Was this all because of his ex-wife? Did he miss her? Did he want her back? Did I remind him of her?

“Please.” His tears choked his words and halted their faulty delivery. “Don’t. Don’t leave me.”

Never. I love Bash. I can’t leave him, even when he hurts me. I can always find a reason to excuse his actions. I should feel bad about losing a part of my free will. But sadly I do not. I am now one of those stupid bitches that think their man’s shit don’t stink. Is he mine? It sure feels that way. I am the only one that he spends time with. I am the one that comforts him. I am the one he calls. He’s mine. The charming Bash, the cool Bash, the sexy Bash, the bossy Bash, the broken Bash.

I was going to let this go for now. I’m going to hold him in my arms. It was three in the morning. I was glad we didn’t have to work the next day. Bash needed his rest or something. I stroked his dampened hair and he fell asleep first.

★
SATURDAY
★

We both woke around noon. Bash drew a bath for me and he put me in it. He stood over the tub and watched me. He had a crushed and somber look about him. I wasn’t sure what I could do about it. We hadn’t exchanged many words this morning. I guess I had to be the one to say something but he beat me to it.

“Nina, I’m sorry.”

“I know. I could see that right away. I know you didn’t mean to hurt me.”

“No, I’m really sorry. I think you should go to the doctor.”

“I’m okay Bash really.”

“Did you see your neck?”

“Yeah.” I saw it in the bathroom mirror.

“It’s bruised.”

“Well I’m brown so you really can’t see the bruises. It’s like purplish brown so.” I shrugged and splashed a little water in the tub.

“So nothing. I hurt you. I can’t hurt you. That’s not acceptable.”

“It was an accident. You didn’t mean too.”

“I want to make sure you’re okay.”

“I am okay. I’m breathing. I’m not going to the hospital.”

“Well can I call a doctor to come here?”

“On a Saturday?”

“Yes, can I call? I can get my doctor here.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes, I need to know you’re okay.”

“So you’re not going to drop this until I say yes.”

“I’m not going to drop this.” His face was filled with dread. I hated seeing the color drain from his face every time he looked me in the eye. Or in the neck.

“Okay fine. Take your boxers off. Get in this tub with me and after we get out you can call your physician. Let’s just soak in the tub together. I promise, I will stay healthy and alive for an hour.”

“Okay.” Relief filled his face and ironed out his faint wrinkles.

I watched as he glided his boxer shorts down his legs. His flaccid penis was still a sight to behold. My wet naked body probably couldn’t get him hard with a million dollars as an added bonus. Bash was upset at himself and down in the dumps. I rose so he could sit behind me. He stepped in and slowly lowered himself behind me. He snaked his arms around my wet body.

I cuddled back into his chiseled chest. His dick jumped a little.

“Nina I’m sorry I hurt you.”

“You didn’t do it on purpose. I know that. You were asleep.” It seemed like a good time to ask questions. We were both naked and Bash had won the doctor battle. “Has this ever happened before?”

“It’s never happened. I always sleep alone.”

“Always?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know.”

“You had sex with women since the divorce?”

“Ten years, yes of course I had sex.” A celibate man would never be that good at sex. “I never had sex with anyone in my house.”

Really? “Why me?”

“I wanted you in my bed?”

I’m flattered. “You got what you wanted.”

“I did but I wanted you in my life, in my space. I never wanted that with anyone else.”

“You were talking in your sleep last night.”

“I was.”

“Yeah. I never heard you do that before. I think you were speaking in German.”

“I was?”

“I think so. Do you speak German?”

“Yes.”

“You were saying something over and over and over.”

“I was?”

“Yes, it sounded like inch vard dick totem or something like that. Can you make that out?”

“No, I can’t.”

“I probably have it all wrong. You kept saying a name also.”

“A name?”

“Yes, Caroline.”

“I said her name?”

“You did, more than once. It was the only word I could clearly understand.”

“Why did I say her name?”

“I don’t know. Maybe you were dreaming about her.”

“I’m sure it was more like a nightmare.”

“Why?”

“It had to be a nightmare. Look at what I did to you. Why did you refuse medical attention? We could just as easily gone to the emergency room. I need to know I didn’t crush your larynx or block your airway or harm your throat in some permanent way.”

“Every doctor in emergency will think we were doing some weird sexual bondage choking thing. I’m not going to go through the embarrassment.”

“Why didn’t you just say that? I have to make sure you’re okay. I will have my doctor come to the house.”

“I agreed to that but emergency room is a no. Do doctors make housecalls anymore?”

“He will do it for me. He’s a friend. We play basketball together. He will probably want to know if your neck is sore or swollen when I call him.”

“It’s sore but I don’t think it’s swollen.”

“If you want to dump me after I attacked you I would understand.”

I rose from his chest and turned back to look at him. Water splashed about. “I know it was an accident. Do you want me to dump you?”

“No I don’t want that at all. But I would understand if you did. You didn’t sign up for this.”

“No I didn’t but honestly I have no idea what I signed up for. We’re still new. You’re not perfect so to leave you because you had a violent nightmare just seems petty.”

“I’m not violent like that. I work all my aggression out in the gym, the court and other physical activities. I don’t know where that came from. I don’t know why?”

“Maybe you can find some answers with your ex-wife. Maybe you should call Caroline up and talk to her.”

“Maybe I should.”

***

Bash did what he said he would do. He called his doctor and some young white man showed up. He looked like he was just hitting the thirty mark. The doctor was pleasant. He ordered Bash out the room so he could examine me. He asked me a few questions but nothing too intrusive. He asked if I had been battered. I liked that he asked the obvious. He asked me questions to check to see if I had any brain damage, dizziness or amnesia.

He told me that I wasn’t supposed to go to sleep after the incident occurred. He told me people could die hours after being strangled. I did have some soreness but I hadn’t experienced any vomiting or hoarseness. He checked my eyes and I didn’t have any broken capillaries. I appreciated that the doctor was taking this serious.

I felt like I was okay. I needed to be okay for Bash’s sake. He seemed to be coming apart at the seams. He was worried.

The doctor told me he didn’t see any severe issues but he ordered x-rays for me just to be safe. I had to show up at the hospital tomorrow. So it seems Bash got his wish and I was going to go to the hospital after all.

Bash and I stayed in all day Saturday. He waited on me while I recovered. I stayed in bed and he catered to my every need. I only got up to pee. I fell asleep around five only to wake up at six. Bash was gone. I got out of bed and went to look for him. I walked the hall and looked out the window. His car was still parked out front in the circular driveway.

I started walking further down the hall and I approached a slightly open door. I peeked in and Bash was standing by the window with his back to me. It looked like a home office.

Bash had his cell up to his ear. I should have made my presence known but I didn’t. Instead, I listened to him speak to whoever. It was a one-sided conversation because I could only hear Bash. I was curious to learn more about my German dimpled stranger. He was never all that strange to me. He was warm and caring and sexy.

His irate voice came out loud in clear. “I don’t know why it happened…I was speaking German in my sleep…I apparently said
ich werde dich töten
over an over again…I know you don’t speak German. It means I will kill you…I don’t know…Of course I didn’t tell her what it meant. I was also saying Caroline’s name…Well shit yeah, I will kill you Caroline wouldn’t have went over so well…I’m sure she doesn’t speak German…It’s not like I can go see a shrink…Right, I will see you at the gym.”

Bash removed the cell from his ear. I didn’t wait for him to turn around. I hurried my nosey ass right back to the bedroom.

He’s not telling me everything.

I’m confused.

I don’t know what any of this means.

NINA

★
SUNDAY
★

The X-ray was scheduled for ten. Bash drove me to the hospital. I was relieved that he hadn’t crushed, severed or damaged anything important. I wasn’t really worried until Bash acted worried. Bash was relieved when he heard I was fine. His entire demeanor changed after he knew I was physically safe. I’m not sure why I felt so bad about him feeling bad. He could have killed me. I should be upset. I really don’t know how I should feel.

I couldn’t broach the subject of Caroline. I didn’t want him to know I was eavesdropping. I didn’t want him to know I overheard the translation of the German words he repeated while he was in his violent nightmarish haze.