Brian was out like a log and snoring like a saw, which made my analogy even funnier. I snuck out of Brian’s arms, crawled out of his bed, and went into his bathroom. What I saw made my jaw hit the floor.
His bathroom was the size of my whole apartment! There were two sinks and a toilet that looked like a throne. Then I saw the hot tub and a shower encased in glass that had three showerheads. I limped over to the shower wondering why it was taking me so long to get better. I mean I was a vampire after all. Turning it on, I took off my clothes, and when I figured the water warmed up, I stepped into the shower.
Deciding I needed the water hotter, I turned up the heat and let the water pour all over my body. Then, for whatever reason, my legs gave out and I fell to the floor. I brought my knees to my chest, wrapped my arms around them, and started sobbing. I couldn’t stop crying even as all the dried blood was rinsed off my body. I barely heard the shower door open.
“Oh, Kelly, honey, you are safe now,” Brian cooed. He took off his pajamas and got in the shower, wrapping his body around me. “Baby, you are shaking. What is wrong?”
I couldn’t even talk, I couldn’t stop crying, and I felt the shudders go through my whole body.
“
Tá brón orm, mo mhúirnín bán
,” he whispered. I had figured out he only spoke Gaelic when seducing or apologizing to me. But this time, he sounded almost
scared
. I wasn’t sure though, because I couldn’t think clearly.
He reached up and grabbed the shampoo, gently pouring some onto my head. Brian rubbed it in, and getting clean felt fantastic. So why couldn’t I stop crying or shaking? When he was done, he let the water rinse out the shampoo, but he kept gently caressing my hair and I let my head fall back.
The hot water falling over my face finally got me to stop sobbing, but the tears still streamed down my face. “Something’s wrong with me, Brian. I can’t stop crying, and my legs gave out in the shower.”
“Kelly, you were tortured for three days. They almost fully drained you, and gave you a little blood just so you did not die. It will take a while for you to heal, and you are going to need lots of blood. Nothing is wrong with you, my love. I am so sorry you had to go through all of this because of me,” he rasped, starting to choke up.
He reached up and got the conditioner, massaged it into my hair, and let it rinse out. Then he moved in front of me, put my arms around his neck, and picked me up. “Hold on to me, my love.” He grabbed the soap and started washing me all over.
Once I was all rinsed off, he got me out of the shower and grabbed a bathrobe that he wrapped around me. He sat me in front of the vanity mirror and I glanced up at him.
“Please leave me alone, Brian. I can’t be around you right now, but thank you for getting me all clean. I wish I had enjoyed it better, but all I could think about was getting away from you.” His head jerked back and his eyes filled with grief as they met mine in the mirror. Then he walked away from me without saying a word.
My heart ached when I heard Brian talking from the living room. I could tell from the way their voices were slightly muffled instead of being clear if they had been in the bedroom. But I couldn’t get the motivation to do anything about it, I felt too numb.
“Julie, I need you to help her. I do not know how and she does not want me there! I did not mean for this to happen to her. I would never hurt her ever. I found her in the shower sitting in a ball. I helped her get clean and then she asked me to go away. Why does she want me to leave her?”
“Brian, Brian, calm down,” Julie hissed at him. “She has just been through a terrible ordeal. She could not even shower herself. How humiliated would you be if she had to shower you and see you that weak? Give her some time and space. They attacked her, bit her, drained her, groped her, violated her in almost every sense of the word. You do not just snap out of that as soon as you are rescued. Quiet yourself, Brian. I will go take care of her.”
She left him in the living room, making her way through the bedroom, and joined me in the bathroom. “I tell you, Kelly, men are just big babies.” I knew she was trying to make me laugh, but all I did was start crying all over again. Julie ran to me and sat on the floor by my knees. “Oh, my dear, everything will be all right. I promise you will get through this. I will be here every step of the way, okay?”
I nodded at her and tried to smile. Grabbing a pick, she started combing my hair and I stopped sobbing, but the tears still rolled down my face. Then something else started clawing up my throat… I felt trapped.
“I just can’t deal with this, Julie. I don’t know
how
. I start my internship in a week and a half. I’ve worked all my life for this and now
everything is blown
. Everything I’ve worked for is gone! I can’t even deal with this,” I screeched as I stood up to leave the room and blacked out.
I awoke to hear Brian talking. “I did not mean to ruin her life. I just wanted to make her into something amazing—”
“Shut up, Brian!” I yelled from the bed, grabbing my head when it started spinning. “This isn’t about you. I’ve got a week and a half to get back to where I was so I can start my internship.” I got up slowly as Brian and Julie came into the bedroom to help me. Brian got to me first. “Don’t touch me, Brian. I can take care of myself.”
I walked over to the closet to try to find some clothes, but of course all I found were Brian’s things.
“I put the clothes Brian sent over in the other closet, Kelly,” Julie said quietly as she left the room. I figured I had upset her too, and for that I felt horrible. I just couldn’t get control over my emotions. Brian stayed in the room as I switched closets. I was pissed enough to want to dress in street clothes and leave, but I knew that wasn’t realistic. So I found a nightgown, slipped off my robe, and yanked it over my head, then grabbed the matching silk robe.
The robe was sheer, which I didn’t realize until after I put it on, so there wasn’t much of a point in putting it on, but the nightgown was long, dark blue, and had an attached sports bra. I turned around to go back to the bed, and Brian had been sitting there the whole time watching me.
“Did you enjoy the show?” I asked with all the sarcasm I could muster.
“Kelly, I was not watching. I was staring at my feet, but I wanted to make sure that you did not pass out again,” he whispered as he stood. “I will bring you some blood. You need to rebuild your strength. You look beautiful in that, by the way.”
As he left, my eyes started to burn again. I couldn’t blame Brian, because he was trying to help me. I sat there on the bed like a grounded teenager sent to her room. He walked back in the room with a carafe of warmed blood.
“I’m sorry, Brian, this is not your fault. I want you here, but I’m just so pissed off. I couldn’t even shower myself! My emotions are all over the place, and I can’t stop crying.”
“Kelly, it will all be okay. You are entitled to be angry. It is all my fault though. If I had seen Dante for what he really was, you would have been safe,” he assured me, placing the pitcher and glass on the nightstand.
“I don’t blame you, Brian. You were the one who saved me.” Turning his face towards me, I gave him a nice gentle kiss. He sat down next to me, put his arm over my shoulders, and I started to feel better. He poured a glass of blood and I gulped it all down. I drank the carafe in a matter of minutes and was waiting to burp like when you chug beers.
I leaned back against Brian, and he gently brought us both down on the bed. We lay like that for a few minutes in glorious silence until he sat up and lifted me in his arms. He carried me into the living room and put me on one of the couches where everyone else sat.
“Thank you for the help, Julie. I appreciate it very much,” I promised with a half-smile. She smiled back and walked into the bedroom to return with the pick. Sitting back down, I turned slightly on the couch so she didn’t just have access to one side of my head, and she started brush out my hair again.
I gazed around the room to see Charles, Andre, and of course, Julie and Brian. I guess the only one who had to leave was Jesse. He made me nervous anyway… Something about him seemed off to me. Oh Nicholas was gone too, which took me a minute to realize.
“How are you feeling, Kelly?” Charles asked, his eyes showing his genuine concern. “You look much better now that your wounds have mostly healed.”
“Better, thanks. I’m still in a great deal of pain and incredibly weak. It also seems I can’t control my crying or emotions. I guess if there was any doubt I was a girl, it’s gone now.” It was a feeble attempt at humor, but I was trying to put on a brave face.
“Well, we can give you something for the pain,” Andre offered, drawing everyone’s attention. “Everything will start to get better the more blood you drink. You have to start out slowly at first, though. Your body has been through quite an ordeal.”
Brian must have taken the hint, because he came over by me, handed me some pills, and a glass of water.
“What are these? There are some medicines I’m allergic to,” I asked. My question seemed to get laughs from around the room. I looked at them too tired to react much. “What?”
“Honey, you are a vampire now,” Charles answered, smiling widely. “You don’t get allergic reactions anymore. We all keep forgetting how new you are. It’s just so refreshing.”
“Oh, sorry, I guess that makes sense. Can I still know what I’m taking?” I asked Brian.
“It is just a couple of Vicodin,” Brian told me. “It will take the pain away and help you sleep.”
I took the pills and glanced up at him with a real smile this time. “Thanks, Brian. I know what Vicodin does, I’m a doctor, remember?”
“That is right. You are officially a doctor now,” Julie said with pride. “You said you start your internship in a week and a half, correct?” I nodded, glad to talk about something normal. “Do you still want to do that now?”
I turned my neck slightly and gazed at her as if she’d just asked me to do the square root of a million… While handing me glass slippers. “I don’t understand. Why wouldn’t I?”
“Well, you are a vampire now. Made by a very powerful vampire,” Julie implied as she set the pick down, done with my hair. “You no longer have to follow human rules, and Brian could take care of you from now on. Working for him would keep you busy and Brian has more than enough money. I mean you are moving in with him, are you not?”
“What?
No
! I’m not moving in with him,” I gasped, pulling away from her. “Vampire or not, I’ve worked for years to be a doctor. We’re talking four years undergrad and four
grueling
years of med school. I appreciate what you are saying and maybe that’s how things are done in your world, but not in mine.” I turned to Brian then. “Is that why you sent the clothes and everything? You thought I would just quit my life? Move in with you and work for you?”
“Not exactly,” he countered, looking like a deer in headlights. “I do want to take care of you since it is my responsibility as your maker. It
is
my job to make sure you are adjusting and that you have everything you need.”
I tried to keep my fury under control. “Listen closely because I’m only going to say this once. With respect to you and all your ways, this is
my
life. I will decide what is best for me. I’ve been doing it for a quarter of a century. I know that’s not very long compared to you guys, but it’s long enough to control my own life.
“I worked my
ass
off to become a doctor. I had my pick of internships across the country, and I’m not going to throw all that away because I was turned into a vampire without even being asked. I’m
sorry
if that goes against the grain or upsets your plans, but it’s what I want, and that’s the only opinion that matters.”
“I am sorry, Kelly. I meant no offense.” Julie took my hand in hers. “It
is
your life and your choice. We all agreed that you would be a perfect candidate to be turned because you were very special and a wonderful woman. I think you just demonstrated that to all of us again. You stayed calm, spoke eloquently, and did not back down in front of a roomful of elder vampires. Bravo, my dear!”
“Thank you for understanding, Julie—” Something she said hit me. “What do you mean, again?”
“You really don’t miss a goddamn thing,” Andre chuckled then smooched at me. “Julie and Charles were on the committee that chose you. I wasn’t invited to the party.”
“Well, that makes sense that Brian’s direct superiors would be on that committee.” I shrugged. “Now if you will all excuse me, I’m very tired. I’m going to lie down for a bit.” As I got up, the men did as well. “No, please sit. I’m fine. I’ll see you all later. Brian, may I speak with you a moment?”
Brian walked over to me and swept me up in his arms. “How much trouble am I in?” he asked while nuzzling my neck.
“Well I’d be beating you right now for picking me up like that and carrying me, but considering I’ve been passing out all day, I’ll let it go.” We got to the bedroom and he kicked the door closed before laying me down on the bed. “That being said, let me make myself perfectly clear. I am not an obligation. I know you turned me and you feel responsible for taking care of me. Don’t.” I held up a hand when he opened his mouth to protest.
“I’m here because I’m too weak to be alone right now, and I appreciate you taking care of me. I will not be moving in. I will not allow you to take care of me and I don’t give two shits that you are my maker. I like you, and that’s why I went to Miami with you. That’s why if I choose to continue to see you, I will. Because I like you, no other reason.
“If you ever pull that
it’s my job
shit with me again, that will be it. I walk. If I choose to see you again, it’s a normal dating relationship. No personal drivers or clothes shops sent to my apartment. Act like I am any other woman who you would want to date. If you don’t know how to do that, figure it out. Are we clear?”
“All right, Kelly. I understand the principle, but you have to give me time on the practice. It will be hard for me to get this. I cannot guarantee that I will get it perfect the first time. I have not dated in this century, and I have only seen what goes on in the vampire world. I will try, I promise. I
do care
about you. But I will try to keep you safe and worry about you because I cannot control the way I feel,” Brian worried.