The Twitter History of the World (8 page)

@EmperorHirohito
118 ships and vessels sunk or damaged, 164 aircraft destroyed, 2,400 Yanks killed. Mission accomplished.
10.02am, December 7, 1941

@PresidentRoosevelt
This is a day that will live in infamy. We declare war on Japan.
11.11am, December 8, 1941

@EmperorHirohito
People keep asking if I’m worried about the Yanks declaring war on us. Worried? Oh pur-lease! I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?
12.40pm, December 8, 1941

When Japan launched an unexpected attack on the naval base at Pearl Harbor in Hawaii, it stunned America. The attack led directly to American entry into World War Two.

@JROppenheimer
Bit bored so thought I’d see what happens if you assemble a mass of fissile material into a supercritical mass. Quite a lot, it turns out.
5.31am, July 6, 1945

@JROppenheimer
I am become death. The destroyer of worlds.
5.32am, July 6, 1945

@KennethBainbridge
@JROppenheimer Yup, now we are all sons of bitches.
5.33am, July 6, 1945

J Robert Oppenheimer was the head of the Manhattan Project: the development programme that produced the first nuclear bomb. On witnessing the successful detonation of the world’s first nuclear bomb, he quoted a passage from
The Bhagavad Gita.
Test director Kenneth Bainbridge’s reported words were just as apt.

@MayorOfHiroshima
What the fuck was that bang? #famouslasttweets
8.16am, August 6, 1945

@HarrySTruman
@MayorOfHiroshima That was ‘Little Boy’ named after @President Roosevelt
8.16am, August 6, 1945

@PresidentRoosevelt
@HarrySTruman Scuse me! You’re not exactly a horse yourself from what I’ve heard.
8.17am, August 6, 1945

@MayorOfNagasaki
What the fuck was that bang? #famouslasttweets
11.01am, August 9, 1945

@HarrySTruman
@MayorOfNagasaki That was ‘TheFatMan’, named after @WinstonChurchill.
8.16am, August 9, 1945

@WinstonChurchill
@HarrySTruman @PresidentRoosevelt Better a fat man than a little boy, no?
8.17am, August 9, 1945

@StephenFry
@HarrySTruman @MayorOfHiroshima
@MayorOfNagasaki Oh, must you all be so beastly to each other? I’m leaving Twitter!
8.18am, August 9, 1945

America dropped two atomic bombs on Japan in August 1945. First, the ‘Little Boy’ bomb was dropped on Hiroshima, killing over 100,000 people. Three days later America dropped the ‘Fat Man’ bomb on Nagasaki, killing over 74,000 people.

@TheUSofA
So we’ve got nuclear bombs.
10.00am, August 10, 1945

@TheSoviets
So have we.
11.02pm, August 29, 1949

@TheUSofA
We had them first.
0.01am, January 1, 1950

@TheSoviets
What’s your point?
0.01am, January 1, 1960

@TheUSofA
Nothing – just saying.
0.01am, January 1, 1970

@TheSoviets
Whatever
0.01am, January 1, 1980

@TheUSofA
Tsssk
0.01am, January 1, 1989

Between the end of World War Two and the collapse of the Soviet Union in the 1990s, international relations were defined by the tense nuclear stand-off between the East and West.

‘Some gobbledegook from Titanic…
LOL
…then two hours later,
OMG
.’

@PrincePhilip
Welcome to the world – and Twitter – @PrinceCharles. So proud. I’d like him to have the things I wasn’t able to have.
11.01pm, 14 November, 1948

@PrincePhilip
India, for instance.
11.03pm, 14 November, 1948

By the time Prince Charles was born the British Empire was a thing of the past.

@SimonedeBeauvoir
I’m publishing a book today about the bad treatment of women throughout history. It’s called
The Second Sex
.
9.29am, June 1, 1949

@MaleTweeter
Giggle, she said ‘sex’! Pffffftttttt…
9.31am, June 1, 1949

@GermaineGreer
I’m publishing a book about feminism. It’s called
The Female Eunuch
.
9.31am, May 2, 1970

@MaleTweeter
She said ‘eunuch’. Hahahahaha!
9.32am, May 2, 1970

@SimonedeBeauvoir
@GermaineGreer Can you believe how immature men are?
10.55am, May 2, 1970

@MichaelWinner
Calm down, dear, it’s just Twitter.
10.57am, May 2, 1970

The rise of feminism has had many triumphs. Some parts of the human race are beyond its reach.

@GeorgeOrwell
In the future, people will be able to monitor our every move, and the cult of personality will rule.
#BigBrother
9.30am, June 8, 1949

@Twitter
@GeorgeOrwell Interesting idea that, there could be a business in it…
9.31am, June 8, 1949

@DavinaMcCall
#BigBrother will get back to you…
9.59pm, July 18, 2000

George Orwell’s story of a dystopian future in his novel Nineteen Eighty Four has fascinated readers since the book was published in the 1940s. Debate over the extent that his vision has or will come true makes his book a true benchmark.

@IvanTheTerrible
Playing chess with @BogdanBelsky – I’m so gonna win!
6.22pm, March 28, 1954

@BodganBelsky
@IvanTheTerrible Lol, looks like I won this one.
6.23pm, March 28, 1954

Ivan the Terrible died of a stroke whilst playing chess.

@MarilynMonroe
#FF @JFK Happy birthday, Mr President.
11.32am, May 18, 1962

DM from @JKF to @MarilynMonroe
Ssssh, I told you – not on Twitter.
11.33am, May 18, 1962

In one of her final public appearances, Marilyn Monroe sang to President John F Kennedy for his 45th birthday. The two are believed to have had an affair.

@JFK
Bit of a drama going down with the Commies over some missiles in Cuba. #touchingcloth
11.12am, October 14, 1962

@Khrushchev
@JFK That’ll learn you for putting missiles in Turkey!
11.13am, October 14, 1962

@JFK
Sheesh, this is worse than the Vienna Summit and the Bay of Pigs combined
11.21am, October 14, 1962

@Khrushchev
@JFK LOL!
11.23am, October 14, 1962

@JFK
Reached agreement with the Commies over Cuba. Glad that’s all sorted. Life doesn’t get worse.
12.29pm, October 28, 1962

In 1962, Russian Premier Nikita Khrushchev installed nuclear weapons in Cuba to defend it from US invasion. After the missiles were spotted by a US spy plane, the world teetered on the brink of nuclear war for a week.