Alec turned her back to face him. “He loves you, Kayla. He was willing to risk losing you to make sure you were going to be all right.”
She inhaled sharply. The selflessness of Carl's actions floored her. He'd done nothing but protect her since the moment they met.
She looked up at Alec, trying to discern his motivation. “Why are you telling me this?”
He was quiet for a long moment. “I told you about Carl because I want you to resolve your feelings for him before you come to me. If you need more time, I understand. I’ll support you no matter what you decide to do.”
“Why are you being so understanding about this?”
He gave her a small smile and she saw a glimpse of the familiar cockiness in his eyes. “Because at the end of the day, I know you’ll always come back to me. The bond between us is too strong and neither one of us will be able to resist it. Even if you decide to run off and leave the towers with him, you’ll find dozens of excuses to come back.”
The idea made her frown. Her first instinct was to pull back and deny it. She wouldn't allow herself to be ruled by some metaphysical bond. “Is that what it’s going to be like?”
He ran his fingers along the side of her face and asked, “When I touch you, you feel complete, don’t you?”
She shivered and gave him a small nod, not comfortable with how much she enjoyed his touch. “That’s because of the shared energy. The farther away you go, the more you’ll feel its loss. That’s not to say it’s impossible to be apart, but you’ll find yourself longing to be with me again.”
Kayla hesitated, but she needed to be honest with him. “Alec, I don’t know if I want to stay in the towers. My life and everything I’ve ever known is outside these walls. I don’t want to give that up. When I’m in the ruins, it’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before. I feel alive down there.”
His look was one of infinite patience and he gave her an understanding smile. “That’s because you were using your energy without realizing it, Kayla. Do you feel alive when you’re with me?”
“Well…” she considered the question, not sure if it was the same thing. She'd only known Alec for a handful of days, regardless of the intimacy they'd shared through their bond. When she was in the glow of an energy exchange with him, she felt more alive than she ever had. Each small touch from him evoked a promise of that powerful connection. “I don’t know. Yeah, I guess. You’re making my life more complicated. I don’t know what’s real anymore. But I know what I feel for Carl is real.”
“You don’t have to make a decision about anything right now, Kayla.” He glanced up as a few people wandered down the hall, giving them curious looks. With a reluctant sigh, he pulled away from her. “I should go, but I’ll be back soon.”
She nodded, not trusting herself to speak, and watched him walk away. Once he was gone, she let out a long exhale and went back inside her mother’s quarters.
Everyone looked up when she entered. Uncomfortable with the stares, she managed a weak smile. “Quite a show, huh?”
Veridian asked, “Are you really thinking about marrying him, Kayla?”
Kayla gave Veridian a panicked look. “Marriage? Me? I was just trying to keep that damn bracelet off me.”
Veridian stood up and gave her a hug. “I’m glad you’re okay.”
She hugged him back and then turned to Carl. Her palms were damp and she rubbed them nervously on her dress. “Carl? Could I talk to you for a few minutes?”
He nodded and stood up. She felt everyone's gaze on them as they made their way toward her room. She heard Cruncher mutter, “She’s either going to break his heart or make him incredibly happy.”
Kayla stepped inside her bedroom and closed the door behind Carl. He remained silent and just watched her. She bit her lip and looked up into his brown eyes. A million things came into her mind to say, but nothing seemed appropriate. So she fell back on what worked.
She stepped close, putting her arms around him. He hesitated for a moment before resting his hands on her waist, keeping her in place. He shook his head, his movements stiff, and didn't make any other moves toward her. “Kayla, I don’t understand what’s going on with this whole energy thing.”
“I don’t either.” The distance between them hurt and she wanted to bridge the gulf. “Alec seems to be the only one who does.”
At the mention of his name, Carl’s face darkened. Kayla could see the turmoil in his expression as he asked, “So he’s ‘claimed’ you now? What does that even mean?”
She wished she knew. As hard as it was for her, it had to be worse for him. She, at least, was a participant in the bond and could see the energy between them. Carl was trapped on the sidelines without any idea about what was going on. “I don’t understand it. He said we’re permanently linked now. I can leave the towers, but I’ll always end up returning here because of him. I won’t ever feel complete unless I’m with him.”
“Is that true?”
She hoped not, but she didn't feel confident about it. “I don’t know. I think so. Even now, I feel strange when he’s not nearby. I don’t understand it. I can still feel him, but it’s just…not right. I don’t know how else to describe it.”
Carl released her and asked softly, “So what happens now?”
Kayla shook her head and threw up her hands in frustration. “Carl, you know I suck at talking about this kind of thing.” She dropped her hands, her shoulders slumping. She wished he could just look inside her and know. “My feelings for you haven’t changed. I love you.”
He hesitated, his fingers flexing as though he ached to touch her. The small action gave her hope. She didn't want to lose him. But then he asked, “How do you feel about Alec?”
“I don’t know,” she exclaimed. Frustration bubbled to the surface and she paced around the room, stopping to kick the footboard of the bed. “I want to scream! Or hit something! Or break something!”
* * * *
Carl grabbed her arm, keeping his grip firm but gentle enough not to hurt her. “I don’t think your mother will appreciate you breaking anything.”
She turned to look at him, her eyes filled with tears. The raw vulnerability staggered him, forcing his protective nature to the surface. She looked so lost and he was helpless to resist her as he pulled her into his arms and kissed her hair. She clung to him tightly, burying her face in his chest. “I don’t want to lose you, Carl.”
“I know.” And he did. He didn't understand what was between her and Alec, but there was no doubt in his mind about what he shared with her.
Kayla looked up at him, her cheeks flushed and her lower lip quivered. He wiped one errant tear away, wishing he could wipe away all her hurt so easily. He bent down and kissed her, tasting the salt of her tears mixed with the natural sweet and spicy taste that was all Kayla. She deepened the kiss, her fingers trembling as she tugged at his shirt with an almost desperate urgency.
Helping her along, he removed his shirt and tossed it aside. His willingness seemed to embolden her and she pushed him toward the bed. He took a step back, bumping against the footboard, and landed on the soft mattress. With a single-minded determination, she climbed on top of him, straddling him as she pulled her dress over her head. She shook out her hair and he felt the blood from his head rush south at her impassioned boldness.
She reached for his belt buckle and he inhaled sharply when her clever fingers yanked it off him. Aware she wasn’t feeling particularly patient and at this point, neither was he, he shifted her and unhooked his pants. Kayla slid her body down his, pulling them off. He growled and reached down to pull her up, crushing her against him. Entangling his hands in her hair, he devoured her mouth. His tongue slipped inside her willing lips, mating with hers in a fervent dance.
“I need you, Carl. I can’t wait.”
Her desperate plea touched him and he reached down, finding her hot and ready for him. With a groan, he slid inside her welcoming heat. She trembled at his invasion and clung to him, wrapping her legs around him and urging him to move faster. His pace was relentless and she whimpered, her nails scoring down his back, begging him not to stop. When she finally cried out, shuddering in release, he exploded inside her.
Carl collapsed on top of her, struggling to catch his breath. Aware he was probably crushing her, he shifted his weight. She made a small noise of discontent at his movement and her arms tightened around him. He smiled at her reluctance to release him.
Her dark hair was splayed out on the pillow and her eyes were closed. He lightly ran a finger over her lips and then brushed his mouth against hers. She opened her eyes and looked at him tenderly.
“I’m going back with you when you go,” she whispered.
Carl just looked at her for a moment, letting her words register. He rolled over to stare up at the ceiling, trying to decide how best to respond. Kayla propped herself up on one arm to look down at him. She lightly traced her finger over his chest. “I thought you’d be happy. Don’t you want me to go back with you?”
Alec’s words echoed in his mind and he knew there would likely be consequences for what he was about to say. He had already come close to losing her once today and he wasn’t willing to do it again without a fight. Carl felt a slight twinge of guilt as he said, “Kayla, I’m crazy about you. Of course, I want you to come back with me. But I also know this is temporary. Alec made that clear to me. He told me yesterday that you ‘belong’ to him and you’ve always ‘belonged’ to him. What you told me a little while ago reinforced that.”
His words had the desired effect. She sat up, her eyes narrowing. He could almost see the heat of her emotions as her temper flared. “He told you I ‘belong’ to him? Screw that. I don’t belong to anyone. I’m not going to have my life controlled. If I want to be with you, I’m going to be with you. It doesn’t have to be temporary unless we make that decision.”
Carl watched her throw her legs off the side of the bed. She stood up and snatched her clothes off the floor. He raised an eyebrow as she dressed, her movements clipped and abrupt. “I’m going back with you and that’s final. I don’t give a rat’s ass what anyone else says about it either. My home is on the surface and that’s where I belong.”
Carl bit back a smile. He knew he was riling her up even more but he couldn’t resist. “You’re incredibly beautiful when you’re angry.”
She scowled at him, her lips turning downward into an adorable pout. “I’m not angry. I’m freaking pissed off. I’m sick and tired of everyone trying to control me. To hell with them!”
She turned and stormed out of the room. With a curse, he scrambled to locate his discarded clothing so he could go after her. It looked like he'd pushed her a little too far.
* * * *
Alec looked up to see Kayla emerge from her bedroom. He didn't miss her mussed hair or disheveled appearance. He felt a rush of anger at the thought of a simple trader touching what was
his
, but he kept his face an expressionless mask.
Kayla's gaze locked on his. Her shoulders straightened and her fists clenched as she marched toward him like a solider prepared for battle. He could feel the fury rippling off her in waves. Before he had a chance to wonder at the cause, she swung her fist at him. His eyes widened, but he caught her hand before she could make contact.
“Damned mind reader.” She jerked her hand away from him and hissed, “I don’t belong to you. Just because we may have shared energy and there’s some sort of bond between us doesn’t mean I belong to you. How dare you say that.”
Alec looked into her furious green eyes and reached for her hand, wanting to soothe her. She pulled away, denying both him and their connection. “Forget it. Don’t you dare put your hands on me.”
Carl entered the room and although he hid it well, there was a smugness in his demeanor. Alec glared at him, wanting to punish him for his insolence, but his hands were tied unless he wanted to further alienate Kayla. “I’m assuming you’re responsible for this?”
Carl didn’t reply.
“Carl’s not responsible for anything,” Kayla retorted and poked her finger against his chest. “I want to know who the hell gave you the right to say I belong to you. I’ll be damned if I ‘belong’ to anyone.”
Alec looked down at her, gauging her emotions and deciding how best to proceed. He wasn't used to dealing with enraged females. Most women in the Inner Circle would simply treat him with cool disdain if he ruffled their feathers.
Sensing arguing with her would only inflame her further, he lowered his head and held up his hands in a contrite gesture. “You’re right. It was a poor choice of words.”
Kayla’s eyes narrowed, but she wasn’t pacified. “I’m going back to the surface with Carl tomorrow. Whatever happens with this whole connection thing happens. But I’m going to live my life the way I want to live it.” She crossed her arms over her chest, as though daring him to countermand her declaration.
Alec schooled his features, ignoring the sharp pain in his gut at the thought of her leaving. He'd thought they'd come to an understanding and she'd even seemed receptive to exploring their bond. He reached below the surface to read her emotions and what he found surprised him. Behind her false bravado and anger, she was terrified.
He pulled back, not wanting to upset or push her further away. She needed time and that was one thing he could give her. “If that’s truly what you want, I won’t try to stop you, Kayla.”
“Good. Because I’d kick your ass if you tried.” She spun on her heels and headed back toward her room. The door slammed behind her and Seara stood up in concern.
Veridian gave an apologetic shake of his head. “Give her a few minutes. She’ll calm down soon enough.”
Alec gave Carl a harsh look. It took all of his restraint not to lash out at Kayla's lover. “I’d like to speak with you privately.”
“I bet,” Carl replied and followed him to the safe room. When the door closed behind them, Alec turned to Carl. He decided not to mince words. “So you decided to play on Kayla’s emotions to get her to do what you want?”
Carl folded his arms over his chest and returned his gaze evenly. “I happened to mention your comment from yesterday. That’s all.”