The Tycoon Takes a Wife (13 page)

Audrey gazed out at Joey with a seriously love-sick look in her eyes. “I only wish I’d followed my instincts
earlier. It would have saved you so much work and time.”

Her sister appeared amazingly calm. It seemed all the drama had come from Harry.

Eloisa sipped her tea while her sister shared details about her hurried wedding in a Vegas chapel. “And Joey says we really can’t build a life for ourselves here. His family would be involved in anything we try.” She took a bracing breath. “So we’re relocating. We don’t know where yet. He says that’s part of the adventure, figuring out where. Maybe we’ll toss a dart at a map.”

Audrey was embracing the same kind of future Eloisa could have with Jonah. Was that why her sister’s words sent a bolt of envy through her? Not that she wasn’t happy for Audrey, because this would be a wise move for her. But it would be difficult to see Audrey living the dreams Eloisa had walked away from.

Her eyes tracked back to Jonah again, his broad shoulders, his comfort in watching out for other people, whether it was his older brothers or her. She wanted this happiness for herself, too. She wanted to trust they could work out a way for her to fit her life with his.

She wanted to find the same surety she saw shining from Audrey. There was a vibrancy and strength of purpose in her sister that hadn’t been there before. Audrey had gone from pale and ethereal to glittering like a diamond.

“You’re really excited about the new adventure.”

Ashley clutched Eloisa’s hands. “Is that too selfish of me? You’ve always been here for me and now I’m leaving you.”

A deeper truth, an understanding resonated inside her. “You’re living your own life. You deserve that. We
won’t stop being sisters just because you’re married, even if you live clear across country. I’ll come see you. Pick somewhere interesting, okay?”

Audrey nodded, tears in her eyes as she opened her arms. Eloisa gathered her sister close, hope for her own future glinting ever so warily inside her.

Jonah pushed open the French doors to the patio, his shoulders, his unmistakable charisma filling the void, filling her. She looked into those clear blue eyes of his and knew in her heart. He wasn’t out for revenge. He was here for her.

He’d stood by her today during a family crisis. Had intervened for her during her sister’s awkward engagement party, had hidden their secret from most of his family. He was a great guy and she trusted him enough to take the next step. She didn’t want him to leave for Peru. She wanted longer to test out what they had before it was too late. She deserved a future of her own with Jonah, and the time had come to claim it, obstacles and all.

Starting with telling him about their baby.

E
loisa closed the town house door after Audrey and Joey. Their laughter and playfulness out in the parking lot drifted through, teasing and tempting her with what a relationship could be.

Jonah walked up behind her, swept aside her hair and pressed his mouth to the sensitive curve of her neck. Her head fell back to give him better access. After the day they’d had, there was nothing she wanted more than to lose herself in the forgetfulness reliably found in his arms. Then she could curl up beside him and sleep like a regular married couple.

Except that would be hiding. That would be using sex to shield herself from making the tough step of opening herself totally to Jonah. Letting herself love him.

And even scarier, letting him love her.

She was actually pretty good at loving other people.
Not so good at letting them be there for her. And wasn’t that a mind-blowing revelation she would have liked the time to mull over? Except she was out of time.

Deciding to do something and actually following through were two different matters. But she was determined to see this through before they landed in bed.

Eloisa stroked along the open collar of his simple button-down, wishing her nerves were as easily smoothed. “Thank you for being so understanding about coming back here for Audrey. I hated cutting short your visit with your family.”

“They’re the ones who showed up unannounced.” He looped his hands low around her waist. “We can have more time with them soon if you want.”

“I do.”

His face kicked up in a one-sided smile. “Good, good.”

Jonah tucked her against his side and strode deeper into the living area, out to the patio. He drew her down with him in the Adirondack chair, settling her in his lap with such an ease and rightness it took her breath away. How could such a big-boned, hard-bodied man make for such a comfortable resting spot?

Eloisa nestled her head on his shoulder and gazed outward. That would be easier than looking him in the face. The sky turned hazy shades of purple and grey as the sun surrendered and night muscled upward.

Jonah thumbed along the back of her neck, massaging tiny kinks. “I’m sorry for not taking into account your job, and your need for security. I can understand why following me from job to job may not sound like the
best of lives for you. We’ll work together to figure out a solution.”

God, he made it sound possible to find a compromise. She wanted to trust it could be that simple.

“Is that what we’re talking about?” She swallowed hard against the hope. “A life together?”

“I think we’re most definitely moving in that direction.” His chin rested on top of her head. “It would be a mistake to pretend otherwise.”

“Okay then—” she inhaled a shaky breath, not nearly bolstering enough “—if we’re being totally honest here, there’s something I need to tell you, something that will be difficult to say and difficult to hear.”

His arms stiffened around her, but he kept his chin resting in her hair. “Are you walking out again?”

“No, not unless you tell me to.” Which could very well happen. A trickle of fear iced up her spine. What if she’d put this off until too late? Would he understand her reasons for waiting?

“That’ll never happen.”

“You sound so sure.” She wanted to be as certain. But hadn’t being with Jonah helped her see she couldn’t plan for everything? “You’re always full of absolutes, total confidence.”

“I have a vision for our future and it’s perfect.” He tipped her face up to his. “You’re perfect. We’re going to be perfect together.”

“You can’t really believe I’m perfect. And if you think that even on some level, what are you going to do when my many flaws show?” Of course she was afraid of rejection after a lifetime of being shuffled aside through no fault of her own. A child didn’t deserve that. Except now, she was an adult and had no one to blame but
herself. “What if I don’t fit into the beautiful world of no boundaries that you’ve engineered for yourself?”

“We’ll work at it. Think about your graduate studies in Spain. You enjoyed your research contribution. Maybe that’s a path to blending our worlds again. Or we split time, both making compromises.”

He was offering her so much that she wasn’t prepared to think about yet. Not until she’d taken care of this old hurt. “That’s not what I’m talking about. It’s something different, something bigger, a mistake I made.”

He stroked her forehead. “You’re such a serious person, and while I admire the way you care about the feelings of everyone around you, I’m a big boy. Now just cut to the chase and say it.”

“I haven’t been completely honest with you—” her heart pounded so hard her ribs hurt “—about more than just my father.”

“Do you have a boyfriend on the side?”

“Good Lord, Jonah—” her hands fisted in his shirt “—I’ve spent the whole year aching for you. There’s no room for anyone else.”

“Then no worries.” He winked.

Winked, damn it.

“Jonah, please don’t joke. Not now. This is difficult enough as it is.” She pushed the words up and out as fast as she could. “After we split up, after I left you, I found out I was pregnant with your child.”

His hold on her loosened, his face swiped free of any expression. “You had a baby,” he said slowly, his voice flat, neutral. “Our baby.”

She nodded, her heart hammering all the harder through pools of tears bottled inside. The grief, the loneliness and regret splashed through her again with
each thud of her pulse. She should have called him then. But she hadn’t and now it was time to face the consequences for that decision. “I had a miscarriage.”

“When?”

“Does it even matter?” She hated the way her voice hitched.

“I deserve to know when…how long.”

She flinched with guilt. He was right. He deserved that and so much more. “I miscarried at four and a half months. Nobody knew except my doctor and my priest.”

She wanted him to know that while she hadn’t told him, she’d nurtured and honored that life even if he hadn’t been there to witness it. Even if he was going to walk out, he deserved to know that.

The first shadows of emotion chased across his face—incredulity. “You didn’t even tell your sister?”

“Audrey had just gotten engaged to Joey,” she rushed to explain, and it sounded so lame now but had made such sense then. “I didn’t want to spoil her special time.”

“No,” he said simply, his body shifting, tensing, no longer the welcoming place to land. Something had unmistakably changed between them. “I’m not buying the excuses.”

She agreed, but still she’d hoped for some…understanding? Sympathy? Comfort after the fact? “What? I tell you my most heartbreaking secret and you just say ‘no.’ What’s the matter with you?”

She couldn’t bear to sit in his arms that had become so stone-cold. She rolled to her feet and backed away.

He stood slowly, his hands in his pockets. No warm reception for her revelation. “I think you didn’t tell your
sister because then you’d have to let someone get close to you, be a part of your life. Don’t you think she would be hurt to know you didn’t feel like you could turn to her?”

She hadn’t thought of it that way before and she didn’t know what to make of the notion now. Her confessions had churned up the loss for her, the retelling of it bringing to mind those dark hours when the blood loss started, then being in the hospital alone. The grief when the doctor told her the baby’s heartbeat had stopped. The teeth-chattering cold after her D and C.

Would having her sister there have made the pain go away? Right now, with the memories fresh in her mind, she couldn’t think of anything that would ease the loss for her.

And oh God, why hadn’t she given more thought to how this would hurt Jonah? She forced herself to look in his eyes and confront the pain—and yes, the anger—she found there. “I should have told you then.”

“Damn straight, you should have,” he snapped, the anger seeping into his voice as well. “But you didn’t. Because that would involve me being a part of your life and your family when it’s easier to hide in your library with your books.”

She gasped at the stab of his words. “You’re being cruel.”

“I’m being realistic for the first time, Eloisa.” He paced the small stone patio restlessly, the frustration in his tone building with every step. “You talk about wanting a future together but you’ve been keeping this from me the whole time, even when we made love.”

“I’m telling you the truth now. Just five minutes ago you said nothing could break us apart.”

“Would you have told me if you weren’t afraid I would find out anyway, now that all your secrets are coming out?” He pivoted back sharply to face her, the moonlight casting harsh shadows down his angry face. “When have you ever willingly let me into your life?”

She couldn’t think of an answer. He’d led their relationship every step of the way.

He started toward her again. “All this time I’ve been wondering if you can trust me, and now I don’t know if I can trust you. I don’t know if I can be with you, always wondering when you’re going to run again.” He stopped pacing abruptly and plowed his hand through his hair. “This is too much. I can’t wrap my brain around it. I need air.”

He jammed his hands into his pockets again as if he couldn’t even bear to touch her and left. The front door closed quietly but firmly behind him.

The first tear slipped free and pulled the plug out of the dam for the rest to come flooding down. Barely able to see, she walked back into her town house.

For the past year, she’d been immersed in her own pain and fears, never once thinking about how much she must have hurt Jonah when she’d left him. Now, standing alone with the echo of that lone door click in her ears, in her soul, she realized just how fully she’d screwed up in leaving him.

She was totally alone for the first time in her life. Harry was upset she hadn’t persuaded Audrey to stay. Audrey was off enjoying marital bliss. And Jonah had left her. She had nowhere to turn.

Eloisa stood in the middle of her empty town house that had once felt like a haven and now seemed so very barren. She searched for something, any piece of
comfort. Her fingers trailed over the glass paperweight, the one she’d made from shells and a dried flower, memorializing her baby’s too-brief life. What would it have been like to share that grief with Jonah?

And now because of how she’d handled things, he was suffering the loss alone as well.

She gripped the cool paperweight in her hand—and revealed a plain white card with ten typed numbers, Duarte’s number.

Perhaps there was at least one thing she could fix in her messed-up life after all. Perhaps she might as well make someone happy.

Jonah was going to get seriously trashed if his brothers didn’t stop pouring drinks for him. But then that’s why he’d come home to Hilton Head to be with his family.

Sitting on the balcony at the Landis beachside compound, he nudged away the latest shot glass on the iron outdoor table. He was still reeling from Eloisa’s revelation about getting pregnant and losing their baby. Never once bothering to contact him about something so monumental.

Anger still chewed at his gut, along with grief for the child that could have been. And having a child with Eloisa? Even the possibility had his hands shaking so hard he couldn’t have picked up the shot glass even if he’d wanted.

As much as he regretted not knowing about the life that had begun inside her a year ago, the knowledge of what happened made him realize the importance of getting things right with Eloisa this time. If birth control had failed a year ago, then it could fail again. He would
not risk being on the other side of an ocean if Eloisa carried his child.

After their fight, he’d driven along the beach for about an hour until he’d calmed down enough to talk to her again. He hadn’t known what he would say or how they could work through it. His ability to trust her had taken a serious blow. But he was willing to try.

Except once he returned to her town house, he found she’d already left. Her car was gone. Her suitcase was gone. Eloisa had run away again. Jonah had hopped the first plane to the only place he could think of to go. Home to hang out with his brothers.

Sebastian clanked down his crystal glass, the ocean wind kicking in off the waves. The surf crashed. Sailboat lines pinged against the double mast of the family yacht. “You have to figure out what speaks to her.”

Frowning, Kyle leaned toward his brother with an almost imperceptible sway. “Marianna made you go to some kind of woo-woo, Zen-like couples retreat, didn’t she?”

Sebastian reached for the bottle of vintage bourbon in the middle of the table. “What makes you say that?”

“‘Figure out what speaks to her,’” Kyle mimicked in a spacey-sounding voice before laughing. “Really, dude, who are you and what have you done with my brother?”

Matthew clapped Kyle on the shoulder, the salty breeze filling their shirts, hinting at an incoming storm. “Don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it. There’s something to be said for learning to speak their language on occasion. The benefits are amazing.”

Sebastian smiled knowingly.

Jonah turned the glass around and around on the
table, a tic starting in the corner of his eye. He wondered for the first time how all his Neanderthal brothers had managed to find great women. What did they know that he didn’t? What was he missing?

Hunger for making things work with Eloisa compelled him to flat-out ask. He sure as hell wasn’t making headway alone. “You’re going to have to ‘speak’ to me in regular-guy English if you expect me to understand.”

Sebastian’s face took on the lawyer look he assumed right before rolling out his best case. Of course the look was a little deflated by his cockeyed tie. “Okay, standard red roses and a heart-shaped box of chocolates are all well and good, and certainly better than not doing anything. But if you can think of something personal, something that says you know her…you’ll be golden.”

Kyle scratched the back of his head, his hair still worn short even after he’d finished his military commitment. “They really like to know we’re thinking about them when they’re not around.”