The Ultimate Betrayal (23 page)

Three Months Later

D
ay in and day out, Alicia struggled to get out of bed. No matter how many times she went to sleep and woke up, her reality never changed. Phillip was gone, and he was never coming back. The two of them had fought over the gun, but when Phillip had finally gained control of it, he'd accidentally shot himself. Alicia remembered screaming at the top of her lungs, holding him and begging God to save him. But after being transported by helicopter to the nearest Chicago trauma center, he'd died in less than an hour. His mother had lost her only child, and Alicia couldn't correct Phillip's fate. She hadn't physically pulled the trigger, but as far as she was concerned, she'd killed her husband. Her father had warned her that someone would get hurt, which was the reason she'd finally made up her mind to divorce Phillip. But she'd waited too long, and her plan had failed miserably.

What bothered her more was the fact that she never should have remarried Phillip in the first place. Especially since she'd known all along that her heart and soul belonged to Levi. She'd wanted to believe she was doing the right thing, but now she knew that for the last three months she'd done everything wrong—and that a once kind, loving, innocent man was dead. Phillip had been her husband, one of her father's favorite people, and a minister the entire congregation adored. He'd been everything he knew how to be for her and so many others, but Alicia's mistakes had cost him his life. She'd pushed him too far this time, and he'd become someone she hadn't recognized. It was still hard to fathom the way he'd spoken to her that night, the way he'd pulled a gun on her, the way he'd decided without a doubt that the only way to fix things was to kill her and Levi. It had been as if he'd forgotten about his love and honor for God and that he'd given up on life altogether. For days, Alicia had wondered if he'd been planning to kill all three of them. Her, Levi, and himself. She couldn't be sure, but the deranged, unhinged look in his eyes had made her believe it. His demeanor had been violent, and the idea of taking someone's life hadn't seemed to bother him. Months before, her father had insisted that even the kindest of people could only take so much, and Alicia was sorry she hadn't listened.

But this was all because she'd hurt him in the very way she'd tried so hard not to. Her actions had been selfish, to say the least, and hardly anyone sympathized with her. Not family, friends, or church members. Her parents and stepparents tolerated her and told her they still loved her, but sadly, not even her brother Matthew picked up the phone to call her. When she called
him
, he always answered, but their conversation was awkward and short-lived. Actually, the only person who treated her the same was Levi. For the first month after Phillip's death, she'd refused to see him because her guilt wouldn't let her. But the more she'd talked to him on the phone, the more she'd realized how much she needed his love and compassion. This was also the reason she'd moved out of her and Phillip's house in Mitchell and rented an apartment about twenty minutes away. She'd considered moving back to Covington Park, but since Levi was spending a lot more time in Mitchell preparing for the grand opening of his restaurant, she'd decided to stay.

At the moment, however, she was sitting in the reception area of an inpatient facility for eating disorders in Wisconsin. Melanie had agreed to admit herself three weeks ago, but only after she'd fainted again and ended up back in the hospital. In the past, her heart had beat too fast, but last month it had slowed way too much, and her heart muscle was damaged. It was then that Alicia and Melanie's dad had begged her to get professional help, and this time she hadn't argued.

A young female staff member escorted Alicia back to a small visiting room, where Melanie sat on a sofa. She and Alicia both smiled when they saw each other and hugged like they hadn't connected in years.

“I'll leave you ladies to your visit,” the young woman said, closing the door behind her.

Alicia and Melanie held each other tightly, not wanting to let go. Finally, they sat down.

“I'm so embarrassed,” Melanie said, pulling two tissues from the box on the basic wooden table and passing one of them to her best friend.

Alicia sniffled. “Why is that?”

“I treated you so badly. I said some really awful things to you, and all you were trying to do was help me.”

“You were sick, Mel. I knew something was wrong, but I didn't realize things had gotten so out of control.”

“Neither did I. I've been ill for a very long time, and what scares me is that I could have died, yet I couldn't see what I was doing to myself.”

“But now you're getting the help you need, and you're going to be fine.”

“I still have a long way to go, but I've learned so much about myself over these last three weeks. When I first got here, I thought I was too sane for a place like this. Can you believe I had the nerve to look down on people who purge? To me, bulimia was much worse than what I was doing. But now, I know I was in just as much trouble as everyone else here. I was starving myself to death. Literally.”

Alicia kicked off her leather ballerina shoes and drew one of her knees onto the sofa. “I think I was sort of in denial, too. I knew you weren't eating enough, but I didn't want to believe things were so bad.”

“Well, they were, and I'm sorry for purposely trying to hurt you.”

“That's all in the past. Although, it wasn't like you said anything wrong.”

“How do you mean?”

“I never should have slept around on Phillip. The first time or the second. He's dead, and everyone hates me for it.”

“When it first happened, I was upset with you, too. But when I collapsed this last time and you came to the hospital, I knew I needed you. I knew that you and my dad are all I have.”

“You still haven't heard from your mom?”

“No, and I don't want to. My therapist wants me to talk to her and find a way to forgive her, but I'm just not ready for that. Same thing with Brad.”

“Are you still filing for divorce?”

“I am. It's the one thing I'm absolutely sure of. About a month after Brad's accident, I met him for dinner a couple of times, but the pain was just too great. Even when he would call me on the phone—which he did daily—all I could think about was the affair and the baby he had behind my back. I could never trust him again, and I just don't have the strength to stay married to someone like that.”

“I'm really sorry, Mel.”

“Don't get me wrong. I love Brad and I love my mother, but I have to move on. Even my dad is planning to do the same thing. He just can't take my mother's cruelty anymore. But what about you? What's going on with Levi?”

“I love him, Mel. I love him with all my heart. But I feel guilty…you know, because of Phillip.”

“Look, I loved Phillip like a brother, and I certainly wasn't happy about your affair with Levi. I'm just being honest. But if there's one thing I've learned, life is shorter than most of us realize. We have to do everything we can to be happy.”

“My mom and dad are so disappointed in me.”

“Maybe, but they'll eventually get over it. And even if they don't, are you gonna stop being with someone you love? Someone you were willing to risk everything for?”

“I don't want to, but…”

“Then don't,” Melanie said.

“I've prayed and asked God to forgive me, and I know He has. But it's just so hard knowing that everyone blames me for Phillip's death.”

“I can imagine, but it'll all work out. You and I just have to be here for each other.”

Tears rolled down Alicia's face, and Melanie leaned over and hugged her. Melanie was the one in treatment, but she seemed stronger than Alicia. Actually, it had always sort of been that way, and Alicia was grateful for her best friend. They were sisters for life, and nothing would ever change that. They would help each other through their pain, and that gave Alicia a great sense of peace. But more important, it would be God's love, mercy, and grace that would sustain them. Her father had taught her this many years ago, and she knew he was right. Alicia had sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, but from today on, she would follow His Word much more diligently. She still had a lot to learn and lots of changes to make, but she sincerely wanted to be a better person. And it was for these reasons that she knew she would be fine. She knew God would take excellent care of her.

As always, I thank God for Your mercy, grace, and abundant blessings; without You, not a single thing is possible, and I never forget that. To my wonderful husband, Will—thank you for absolutely everything; This is our 25th year together, and I love you with every part of my being. To my brothers, Willie, Jr. and Michael—thank you for always supporting your big sister; I love you both so very much. To the rest of my loving family—I love you all: Tennins, Ballards, Lawsons, Stapletons, Robys, Youngs, Beasleys, Haleys, Romes, Greens, Garys, Shannons, Normans, and anyone else I may be forgetting! To my first cousin and fellow author, Patricia Haley-Glass, who is also my dear sister, to my best friends, who are also my sisters: Kelli Tunson Bullard and Lori Whitaker Thurman and my cousin and sister, Janell Green—I love the four of you ladies with all my heart. To my spiritual mom, Dr. Betty Price, whom I love so very much—I can't thank you enough for all the genuine love and support you have given me. To my publishing attorney, Ken Norwick, for such great representation. To the best publisher in the world, Grand Central Publishing: Beth de Guzman, Linda Duggins, Elizabeth Connor, Jamie Raab, Stephanie Sirabian, the entire sales and marketing teams, and everyone else at GCP. To my amazing freelance team, Connie Dettman, Shandra Hill Smith, Luke LeFevre, Pam Walker-Williams, and Ella Curry—thank you all for everything! To all the wonderful booksellers who sell my work, every newspaper, radio station, TV station, website, and blog that promotes it, and to every book club that consistently chooses my books as your monthly selection—thanks a million!

Finally, to the folks who so graciously make my writing career possible—
my wonderfully kind and hugely supportive readers
. I love you with everything in me, and I am forever grateful to
ALL
of you.

Much love and God bless you always,

Kimberla Lawson Roby

E-mail: [email protected]
Facebook: www.facebook.com/kimberlalawsonroby
Twitter: www.twitter.com/KimberlaLRoby

1. Phillip gives Alicia a second chance after she commits adultery. Do you think that you would be able to forgive someone after a betrayal like that? Why or why not? Do you agree with Alicia that she owes him for loving and trusting her again? Is their relationship healthy? If not, please explain why.
   
2. It's obvious that Melanie has issues with her body that come from a difficult relationship with her parents, specifically her mother. Have you ever felt unhappy with the way you look? How did friends and family affect this? How did you work to overcome these feelings?
   
3. Very early in the book, Alicia realizes that she will never love anyone as much as she loves Levi. Do you believe in soul mates? Do you think Alicia's only true love is Levi or can you love more than one person? Should you be with someone you truly love even if it disappoints or hurts someone else?
   
4. Were you surprised that Alicia decided to go through with the wedding? Do you think Alicia and Phillip should have gotten married? Do you think Alicia was in denial about whether she could get past her feelings for Levi?
   
5. How does Melanie's father's illness change his relationship with his daughter? Have you reconciled with someone after a near-death experience? Why do you think that Melanie's mother doesn't change?
   
6. Should Brad have kept his child a secret from Melanie? Is there any way he could have handled the situation differently to make things better? Please give examples of what he might have done.
   
7. Were you surprised by how Phillip reacted to the news of Alicia's betrayal? Do you think there was a way that Alicia could have prevented what happened?
   
8. Are you happy that Alicia and Melanie repaired their friendship? Do you think Melanie will stay healthy? Why or why not?
   
9. In terms of romance, what do you believe is still in store for Alicia and Melanie? Do you think Melanie will forgive Brad? Do you want Alicia to be with Levi?
   
10. Do you think there are other women, like Alicia, who feel they are married to a great man but not the right one? Could you remain in a marriage where you love your spouse but you're not
    in
    love with them?
    

Dillon Whitfield Black is back in Mitchell and leading his own congregation, but he's far from being a saint.

Please turn this page for
a preview of

A
s the choir sang, Dillon gazed across his 1,000-plus-member congregation and could barely contain himself. His heart raced with excitement, and it was all he could do not to break into laughter. The reason: He felt more like a rock star than he did a pastor, and his plan was working brilliantly. Even from the pulpit, he could tell that the members of New Faith Christian Center loved and worshiped everything about him, and he couldn't have been more pleased.

And who would have guessed that a man of his character, someone tainted with such a sinful past, could achieve this kind of glorious success? Especially with the way Dillon had tried blackmailing his own father, the infamous Reverend Curtis Black, and had slept with his own brother's wife. Those two indiscretions alone had occurred just over three years ago, but thankfully—for whatever reason—Curtis and Matthew had forgiven him. Dillon and Matthew certainly weren't the best of friends, and Dillon could tell that his dad still didn't trust him, but again, they no longer held his past crimes against him. Although, it wasn't like they ever called or spent time with him, either.

But the best news of all was that his sister Alicia had turned out to be his favorite person, and she was now closer to Dillon than she was to any other family member. The two of them could easily serve as poster children for popular clichés, as they were definitely thick as thieves, two peas in a pod, bosom buddies, and the list went on. They were as close as any brother and sister could be, and they stood up for each other—probably because they were now both the black sheep of the family. Still, they'd made a pact, and because Dillon didn't have much of a relationship with anyone on his mom's side, God rest her soul, he cherished the one he had with his sister. This was part of the reason that he'd decided very quickly that she would be New Faith's chief operating officer. He was also grateful to his brother-in-law, Levi, who'd invested all the initial funding to get the church up and running. Because of drug-related charges, Levi had done time in prison, but he was a changed man and anyone could see that he loved Alicia with his entire being. Levi had also proven beyond question that he would do anything to protect Dillon and the ministry, and he was the perfect chairman of the church's elder board.

Although, it wasn't only Alicia and Levi who genuinely cared about Dillon, because he now had a gorgeous wife who loved him, too. Raven, who sat smiling at him in the front row, was his everything, and he couldn't be more grateful to have married her. He was thankful to finally have found a woman he trusted and appreciated, because before Raven, it had been no secret that he'd never had much respect for any woman, not even his own mother. Of course, there was no denying that, like his own, Raven's past wasn't pretty, but she loved, honored, and respected Dillon, and that was all that mattered to him. Yes, Raven had once served as chief financial officer at his dad's church, and she'd served a few years in prison for embezzling a hundred thousand dollars from the ministry—out of desperation to repay her gambling debts—but today, she was a different woman. She'd been completely delivered from her casino addiction, and she was the ideal first lady. The women of New Faith Christian Center certainly thought so, and they viewed her as a stellar example. To them, she represented the fact that anyone could change for the better if he or she wanted to, and they admired that. Dillon was also happy to say that part of his success as a pastor, as well as the growing of the congregation, was a result of Raven's notable business acumen. She was exceptionally good with numbers, and while she wasn't New Faith's CFO, she'd given Dillon daily advice in terms of how to handle church finances in an entrepreneurial fashion. Dillon had listened to every word and had carefully followed her suggestions, and as a result, the church leadership as a whole had very few complaints when it came to his operational decisions. It was the reason the membership was solid and increasing weekly.

But on a more personal note, Raven was the kind of woman most men would be proud to have. Not only was she head-to-toe beautiful, she was also highly intelligent, confident, and sophisticated. She didn't seem at all like the woman he'd heard about before meeting her—nothing like the felon who'd finished a stint in prison. It was as if she'd taken lots of time to learn everything she could about culture, class, and elegance, because along with her dressing the part, she decorated their home in the same manner. She carried herself with total refinement, and Dillon was glad she'd contacted him right after he'd become estranged from his dad and siblings and been forced to move back to Atlanta. Raven had told him that she didn't want anything from him, but that a friend of hers had filled her in on his situation. She'd certainly understood what he was going through, particularly since she'd made her own mistakes and had been ousted from her CFO position by his dad. She'd then shared that because she'd had the opportunity to work so closely with his father and his church, she knew the ins and outs of Deliverance Outreach's daily operations. This conversation alone had gotten the wheels spinning in Dillon's head, and it was then that he'd decided he was going to become a minister. It was true that he'd learned a long time ago that it was much more customary for a minister to be called by God to preach, but truth was, Dillon hadn't been called by anyone. He'd called himself, and he wasn't ashamed of it. He'd founded his own church in the living room of his tiny apartment, and he was prospering nicely because of it.

This, of course, made Dillon think about his former fiancée, Melissa. What a dimwit she'd been, and while he hadn't seen or heard from her since that night she'd confronted him three years ago, he hadn't forgotten what she'd done to him—and he wasn't planning to leave this earth before paying her back. Just thinking about the way she'd taken all his money and run off with their idiot lawn boy, Country Roger, made him cringe. Yes, Roger was a grown man, but to Dillon, he'd been nothing more than a raggedy-mouth child who'd needed tons of dental work. Dillon had known from the time he'd hired him that he was a knucklehead, but Country Roger had come cheap and he was good at what he did. Still, not once had Dillon imagined that Melissa would be foolish enough to start sleeping with Roger behind his back and then run off with him, taking just about every dime Dillon had.

Not long after Dillon had met his dad for the first time, Curtis had given him five hundred thousand dollars, trying to help make up for all the years he hadn't been a father to Dillon, and his aunt had left him a hundred fifty thousand when she'd passed. But after spending two hundred thousand buying a condo and furnishing it, that had left him around four-fifty, and Melissa had gotten into all his bank accounts and taken the money for herself. She'd then betrayed him even further by giving proof to his dad that Dillon had been trying to blackmail him. Worse, the night she and Country Roger had left, Country Roger had held Dillon at gunpoint so that Melissa could say everything she wanted to him. Melissa had somehow, out of nowhere, discovered that she had a backbone, and she'd spoken to Dillon as if he were some moron. She'd acted as though she'd never loved him and was no longer afraid of him. The latter had shocked Dillon the most, because for years he'd controlled her every thought and move and had kept her in line. He'd made sure she'd known who ran things in their relationship, and sometimes when she'd acted stupidly, he'd had no choice but to physically remind her. But on that final evening, she'd turned into a woman he hadn't recognized and had seemingly lost her mind.

That was okay, though, because again, Dillon would eventually seek retribution. It was true that three years had passed, but he hadn't forgotten, and there were times when he lay awake at night thinking about it. He wished he could simply move on the way he knew some good Christians would, but no one stole from him or humiliated him and got away with it. He just couldn't live with something like that, and when the time was right he would handle things the way he saw fit. He'd made a promise to himself that he would never put his hands on a woman again the way he had with Melissa, but he would still find a way to get his revenge.

After the choir finished singing its last song, a few church announcements aired on the TV monitors, and Dillon got up. He buttoned his Italian-made black pinstripe suit and stepped in front of the glass podium.

“This is the day the Lord hath made, so let us rejoice and be glad in it.” He began with the same scripture he quoted every single Sunday. He didn't speak these words because the scripture meant any more to him than any other scripture he'd read; he did it because it was the scripture he'd always heard his father open with. He'd even once heard his dad say that he also quoted it each morning when he woke up, so Dillon decided that if this particular scripture was working for his dad, it would certainly work for him, too. But Dillon had taken his approach a step further, because he had taught his members to quote it back to him.

“This is the day the Lord hath made, so let us rejoice and be glad in it,” his parishioners spoke in unison.

“It is truly a blessing to be alive,” Dillon said. “It's a blessing just to be able to say we woke up this morning in our right minds and in good health. Amen?”

“Amen,” everyone said.

“You know, for some reason I feel like sharing my testimony this morning. Many of you have heard it before, but today I feel led to share it for our new members and any visitors who are present.”

Dillon looked toward the ceiling of the sanctuary and closed his eyes. He did this to gain sympathy, and he didn't open them until he'd mustered up real tears. He wasn't in the mood for doing any crying today, but he'd learned early on that his church members pitied him a lot more when he did. It was one thing for a woman to shed tears, but it was something totally different when a grown man did it, and he gave them a great performance.

Dillon opened his eyes and sniffled.

“Take your time, Pastor,” more than one person said.

Dillon took a deep breath, and tears streamed down his face. “I'm so sorry, but I just feel full today. God has been so very good to me, and He's brought me a mighty long way. My aunt used to say those very words all the time, and now I know what she means. Life hasn't always been this great, though, because no matter how much I've forgiven my father and moved past what he did, it's still very hard sometimes. It's hard to imagine that any man would sleep with a woman, get her pregnant, and then cut her off like a piece of trash. But that's exactly what my dad did. Then when my mom gave birth to me and asked him to take care of me, he refused. And not only did he refuse, but when he was forced to take a paternity test, he somehow worked it out so that his play brother took the test instead. But even that wasn't enough, because then my dad paid off a couple of strippers my mom worked with. He got them to say my mom had been stealing money from the strip club she worked at, and she was fired.”

When Dillon saw a couple of women already wiping tears, he swallowed hard and sniffled again for deeper effect.

“Please excuse me, but telling this story never gets easier for me.”

Many people nodded with approval and gave their full attention to Dillon.

“After my mom got fired, though, and then learned that the paternity test showed my dad wasn't my father, she begged him to tell the truth. She begged him to help take care of me. She also threatened to tell his fiancée everything. And that's when I suddenly ended up missing one day. Then, about an hour after I was taken, my dad called my mom and told her that if she ever wanted to see me again, she would sign a document stating that he wasn't the baby's father. She then had to agree to never contact him again. Of course, my mom signed it, but she couldn't live with losing her job and having my dad deny me the way he did. So she borrowed a friend's car and crashed it into a tree. She killed herself when I was only a newborn. My mom was a stripper, and knowing what she did for a living caused me a lot of pain—it was the reason I grew up having no respect for any woman except my aunt—but she didn't deserve to die.”

Dillon shed more tears, and although his initial tears had been forced and phony, the ones he shed now were very real. His heart ached terribly, and it was all because he'd never gotten to know his mother. His mom's sister had been the best mother figure she could be, but Dillon still longed for his birth mother. He also wasn't sure he'd ever stop blaming his father. He'd tried to love his father and forget about what Curtis had done, but he couldn't. Maybe if Curtis had welcomed him with open arms and immediately loved him the way he loved his other three children, Dillon could have felt better about things. But that hadn't happened. Instead, his dad had made it very clear that his precious Matthew was the son he truly loved and that his two daughters, Alicia and that brat Curtina, were the loves of his life also.

“I'm sharing this story because I want people to understand that when parents make selfish decisions, they affect a child for the rest of his or her life. Being forced to basically grow up as an orphan is the reason I made so many bad choices. I committed a lot of sins and hurt a lot of people, but today I'm a completely different man. God has delivered me from sin. He called me to minister, and I thank Him for giving me another chance. He'll give everyone in here another chance as well. He's a good God, and none of us would be
anything
without Him,” he proclaimed, speaking louder than he had been. “We don't deserve his grace, mercy, and favor, but I'm here to tell you that He gives it to us anyway. He forgives us because He loves, and if you agree, you ought to give Him a huge amount of praise today! Praise His sweet, holy name!”

The entire congregation applauded and most stood up. Many shouted their words out loud, all while in tears.