The Undead Day Nineteen (3 page)

She moves off, heading for the police offices and constantly blinking then rubbing her eyes. Movement at the main gate and she turns to see Maddox walking back in. He spots her and inclines his head. She stops and waits as the realisation dawns. Maddox is coming back inside which means he went outside. The only reason he would go outside is if someone was arriving or leaving.

She looks round again and this time sees the doors to the new armoury are wide open and the gap inside tells her some of the cases have been taken.

‘Lilly,’ Maddox says, getting closer and seeing the almost frantic look on her face

Her heart sinks, her stomach flips.

‘They’ve gone,’ Maddox says, coming to a stop just feet from her.

‘I know,’ Lilly replies, hiding the emotion from her voice. She looks at Maddox, at his red eyes and the grime smeared over his face. His hands still tremble but he holds her gaze steady and without expression. Lilly instigated the fight back with Lani. She took the box of grenades and made everyone drop their weapons. She sided with Lani and thereby opposed Maddox. She did it to save Lani and Howie’s team. She did it knowing Howie would protect her, and if she died then she knew he would protect Billy and the children.

Except he’s gone. They’re all gone. Clarence. Paula. Nick. Nick has left. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t try and find her.

‘Lani’s dead,’ Maddox says in a surprisingly gentle tone, ‘She’s in there.’

‘Where?’

‘Old armoury,’ he says nodding at the ruined wall through which they can see the water gently lapping at the wall.

Nick didn’t say goodbye. He didn’t say anything.

‘Are they coming back?’ She asks, whispering the words out.

Maddox doesn’t reply, doesn’t do anything but stands and watches her for several long seconds, ‘we agreed they’d stay away…be seen somewhere else,’ he stops on seeing the fleeting look of confusion on Lilly’s face. ‘They left quickly,’ he adds with the sudden recollection of Lilly’s connection to Nick. ‘We didn’t know where you were.’

‘Hospital,’ Lilly says automatically, ‘helping.’

‘Hospital,’ Maddox says, nodding slowly, ‘You okay?’

She nods in return but stares down at the ground willing the tears not to spill from her eyes.

‘About last night,’ Maddox says, lowering his voice another notch.

She swallows, blinks and looks back up at him, waiting and expecting the worse. ‘Just don’t hurt Billy…please…I’ll go if you want but…’

‘I don’t know how to do this,’ Maddox says.

‘I can leave,’ she rushes the words out, ‘I’ll take Billy if you want…I’ll go but please, Maddox, don’t hurt Billy…’

‘S’hard,’ Maddox whispers with a gentle shake of his head. ‘You get me.’

‘Maddox,’ the tears stream down her cheeks, ‘Please…Billy’s lost everyone…’

‘All those kids have lost everyone,’ Maddox says, turning slowly to stare over at the vehicle ramp and the shapes of the children and adults gathered at the top.

‘Maddox, please…he’s my brother,’ she holds the sobs inside but the tension in her throat reflects in her voice made rough and hoarse. ‘He’s my little brother…don’t hurt him. Hurt me…shoot me…he didn’t do anything. I did it.’

‘Shoot you?’ Maddox looks back sharply with eyes that take seconds to focus.

‘Do it outside,’ she nods, almost urging him. ‘So Billy doesn’t see. Tell him I left. Tell him I died in the fires but please don’t let him see…I won’t try and run…’

‘Lilly,’ Maddox says stepping closer, ‘I’m saying I don’t know how to do this,’ he waves a drunken hand at the mess and destruction around them, ‘
this…
all of this…not shoot you. I know…how…I can shoot but…what?
’

She blanches, showing confusion and terror on her face. Her hands wringing in front and her eyes constantly glancing to the ramp and her brother at the top. Maddox closes his eyes, trying to think clearly but his own mind whirls with as many strands of thought as Lilly’s. A fug inside his mind. His muscles ache like hell from the repeated shocks of the tazer. It hurts just to stand up. He tries to remember what he was saying but falters and sways on the spot without realisation of his own motion.

‘This is mess.’

They both look at Lenski stood with her arms folded across her chest. The defiant Polish woman glaring past them to the filth, ‘This is mess. Everything. Everything is mess.’ She tuts, shakes her head and tuts again with an angry blast of air pushed out through her nose. ‘How we fix hole in wall? Where we put bodies? The burnt tents, they go yes? We get new tents yes?’ She nods while speaking, asserting her decisions on the other two with equal glances between Maddox and Lilly. ‘We no give children guns, yes? You have gun,’ she nods at Maddox then taps her own chest, ‘I have gun, Lilly have gun. No one else have gun.’

Lilly have gun? Lilly blinks in surprise but stays silent and watchful.

‘If new people they come. You see them,’ she says to Maddox. ‘We no give guns to children. The Bossman not here now, yes? The children they all die now. Dead. Darius is dead…’

‘I know…’

‘No crew chiefs. No crews. No number one number two number three number four…no more, Maddox.’

‘Okay,’ Maddox says quietly.

‘Howie is gone, yes?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Lilly, you stay, yes?’

‘I er…’

‘Good. This is good. We fix this. We fix mess. Lilly, you shoot gun?’

‘Pardon?’

‘You shoot gun, yes? You know how gun works, yes?’

She nods, ‘Nick showed me…with a er…with a handgun…’

‘Maddox. Give Lilly gun. Give me gun. No one else has gun.’

‘Okay,’ Maddox says, nodding at everything she says with a look of relief washing over his features.

‘Small gun,’ Lenski barks, ‘Lilly and me we have small hands. Not big hands. We have small guns. We fix this mess.’

‘Lilly?’ Maddox says, purposefully widening his eyes as though fighting sleep.

Lilly watches him. Studying his face and manner. She sees a man not many years older than her.

‘We make decisions together,’ Lilly says with a glance at Lenski, ‘All three of us have to agree...’

‘Yes,’ Lenski nods instantly, ‘This good thing. We do this.’

‘I…’ Maddox goes to speak.

‘And Doctor Carlton too,’ Lilly cuts in.

‘We do this,’ Lenski says agreeing with a curt nod, ‘Maddox do this,’ Lenski says in such a tone it leaves nothing else to be said by Maddox who just dips his head.

‘Okay,’ Lilly says, blowing air through her cheeks, ‘Okay…’

‘Not okay,’ Lenski says, ‘look at mess. Look at work. We have hole in wall.’

‘I meant okay I will stay and help,’ Lilly says.

‘I know this,’ Lenski says bluntly, ‘I know you stay. Maddox, get guns. Small guns.’

‘I think we only have one size…’ he stops at the glare sent his way.

‘Good. Get gun. We have meet yes? We decide, yes?’

‘Meat?’ Lilly asks.

‘Yes. We meet. We meet to decide. Three decide. Get Doctor.’ She waves a hand between them.

‘Oh, a meeting,’ Lilly says.

‘Meeting? Meet? Is same thing. We meet. Maddox. Get guns. Small guns.’

‘Okay.’

‘Now, Maddox.’

‘Okay,’ he says again, blinking heavily as he goes to walk off and stumbles.

‘Take other guns from children.’

‘Maddox, are you okay?’ Lilly asks watching him sway further round in a drunken circle.

‘Lock place where guns are.’

‘Okay,’ Maddox breathes the word out fighting to stay upright and keep the blackness at the edge of his vision from closing in. Everything hurts. His legs can’t hold his weight and his neck creaks like rusted hinges every time he moves his head.

‘Small guns, Maddox. Small hands.’

‘Small guns,’ Maddox slurs.

‘Maddox?’ Lilly steps towards him, watching as his legs simply buckle and down he goes, dropping like a stone to lie crumpled on the ground.

Lenski tuts, shaking her head with a mouth pursed and thin, ‘Kurcze!’ She looks over at Maddox and round at everything else that lies broken and ruined, ‘Mess. All mess.’

Four

The room would be pitch dark if not for the gas lamp hissing softly. The back rooms of the medical complex do not have windows and no natural source of light can penetrate the thick walls that deaden the sound and smells of the fort.

He lies on his back on a hastily made bed of blankets stacked on each other to provide what degree of comfort they can give. The room is cool and bathed in the muted orange glow of flame burning within the glass casement.

‘I know of one,’ Andrew says with a sigh, ‘Chap in London got tazered ten times and survived.’

‘Anecdotal?’ Anne asks, glancing over the form of Maddox to Andrew.

‘No,’ Andrew says, his voice a whisper in the darkness. ‘Medical journal reported it for trauma doctors in the cities after the police started equipping their officers with tazers.’

‘He not die?’ Lenski asks bluntly, her emotionless face staring down.

‘He’s stable,’ Andrew says, ‘vitals are okay, heart rate, blood pressure…he’s young, fit and strong,’ he stops to pull a face with a tired shrug, ‘Hopefully…only time will tell.’

Lilly shuffles forward, clearing her throat politely as a pre-cursor to speaking, ‘The man who was tazered ten times? He was okay?’

‘He had mental health issues,’ Andrew mutters, ‘whether that has any bearing on his ability to withstand the shock is something I do not know. Any person exposed to that level of shock to the body can have very serious health implications…look, all we can do is monitor him and let his body rest.’

‘How long?’ Lenski asks, as blunt as ever.

‘Jesus, how do I know?’ Andrew says glaring up at her.

‘We don’t know,’ Anne says, rising to her feet with a grimace at the pain radiating in her knees from being knelt down for so long. ‘Who wants this?’ She picks the pistol up taken from the back of Maddox’s belt and holds it out to the two women who stare at the squat black weapon.

‘Can you make him awake?’

‘Lenski,’ Anne says softly, ‘Maddox is unconscious, there is nothing we can do to…’

‘Adrenalin,’ Lenski says quickly, ‘I see this on television. They give the man the adrenalin and he wake.’

‘No,’ Anne says as Andrew gets to his feet, ‘it doesn’t work like that…’

‘He needs rest,’ Andrew says.

‘We no have time for rest,’ Lenski says.

‘You have to listen…’

‘No!’ Lenski snaps, cutting Anne off with an angry glare, ‘Maddox he strong. Maddox he…he strong…we need Maddox now.’

‘He is unconscious,’ Andrew says through gritted teeth.

‘He no be this thing. He no be. He wake. Maddox…MADDOX…WAKE UP!’

‘Lenski, stop it…’ Anne says imploringly.

‘He has been shocked what…six…seven times?’ Andrew asks, shaking his head at the panic in the young Polish woman. ‘He needs to recover.’

‘How long recover?’

‘Lenski, we’ve told you this. We do not know.’

Lilly watches as Lenski snorts air through her nose while pushing her hands through her hair. A rare show of worry and panic showing on her face.

‘Kurcze…’ Lenski mutters, throwing a worried look at Lilly. ‘Take gun…you know to shoot? We move quick yes?’

‘Pardon?’ Lilly asks, blanching at the sudden rush of words.

‘They see. They see Maddox go down. They see,’ Lenski says reaching over to take the pistol from Anne. ‘Take it…take gun…you know to shoot?’

‘Nick showed me,’ Lilly says, hesitating before taking the pistol, ‘Lenski…I don’t understand.’

‘Show me you know to use gun,’ Lenski demands, nodding at the pistol in Lilly’s hand.

‘Lenksi…’

‘Show,’ Lenski orders.

Lilly looks at the doctors who shrug and show as much confusion as she feels. With a sigh, Lilly holds the pistol in two hands and moves closer to the lamp. She presses the button on the side of the butt, releasing the magazine which she slides out into the palm of her waiting left hand. She pockets the magazine and slides the top back, turning the weapon over to drop the chambered round out onto the low table. With the safety on she puts the pistol down and pulls the magazine from her pocket. The bullet from the table gets slotted back into the top and she presses down, remembering every word Nick said as his hands worked over hers, showing her the movements.
Push the top bullet down, feel that? More pressure means the magazine is full, less pressure means it’s not full. Yeah?
He smiled when he said that. His white teeth framed in his tanned face and that strong jawline. His eyes so hard. The eyes of a killer but vulnerable, wounded and brave all at the same time. She could have stared into his eyes forever.
Always check though
he said, nodding at her as he spoke and moving closer so his broad shoulder was brushing against her.
Always check, take them out and put them back in so you count the rounds…Dave said we have to do that…so we know when we’ll run out.
It feels a hundred years ago now. The warm sun on them. The heat of the streets and the fear knotting in her stomach that Billy was in danger but somehow Nick made it better. It was the worst time of her life but the best too. Those snatched minutes with him. The kind way he spoke and how he kept trying not to swear and then apologising when he did swear. He said he would save Billy and he did.
How do you do it?
She asked him, having already seen him slide one out but wanting to keep his hands on hers for as long as possible.
Like this.
Together they slid the rounds out, counting them off until the last one popped out and into his rough calloused hand that was so gentle in the way he touched her.
What now?
She asked and he smiled that shy grin.
Put them back in.
They did it together and she knew Nick wanted to let her go so she could do it herself but she also felt his reluctance to release her hands.

‘Eight,’ she says sadly into the dark room with the glow from the lamp reflecting from the glistening tears in her eyes that blink quick and heavy. ‘He’ll have another magazine.’

‘Will he?’ Anne says, dropping down to gently roll Maddox as she feels the outline of his pockets, ‘yep, got it, here.’

‘Thanks,’ Lilly takes the magazine, pressing the top and feeling the pressure. The actions harden her resolve. She picks the pistol up, slams the magazine in, yanks the slide back and holds it out to Lenski, ‘Loaded made ready, safety on.’

Lenski blinks. An almost imperceptible nod. ‘You keep. We go quick.’

‘Lenski, I don’t know what you mean,’ Lilly says, lowering her hand holding the weapon.

‘They see…they see Maddox and…’

‘Who?’ Lilly asks.

‘Crews, they see. They see Maddox go down. They see Howie leave. There no number one now…’

The implication hangs heavy. The realisation hitting Lenski as the weight of the situation grows heavier.

‘What?’ Andrew asks, his voice showing irritation at the garbled almost coded way Lenski speaks.

‘The crews,’ Lenski whispers, ‘They no have number one now…Maddox is number one…Darius number two. Maddox is…is here…Darius is dead…Jagger is dead, Mo Mo gone with Howie. Howie not here…I not number one. They no see me as number one. They see Maddox as number one…They take the guns…they see who number one now…’

‘They’ll take over?’ Anne asks, a disbelieving tone in her voice. ‘Tell them Maddox is fine and just needs a rest.’

‘They see,’ Lenski says louder, ‘They not stupid. They see him…his hands do this,’ she shakes her own hands imitating Maddox’s tremble. ‘They see him shit in pants…they see Lani do this…they see weak and they take…we go quick,’ she says, switching her gaze to Lilly. ‘We get gun for me and we go quick. We strong. We no be weak now.’

‘Lenski, what…’ Lilly falters, trying to understand what Lenski is trying to say.

The Polish woman curses softly. The intricacies of the crews, the way they are, the hierarchy, the power vacuum created and the need for one of them to take control…she can see it, feel it, she knows it but she cannot translate it.

‘Kurcze,’ she purses her lips, thinking hard, ‘Maddox he see the Bossman and…’

‘Who is the Bossman?’ Andrew asks.

‘Stop interrupting, Andrew,’ Anne says with a warning tone to her voice.

‘The Bossman he make kids like this. He sell the drugs yes? He make the drugs and he sell the drugs…he make kids be this way…Maddox was number two to Bossman yes? Bossman attack Maddox. Maddox kill Bossman. Maddox number one now. Maddox strong. He clever. He clean. He no use drugs. He think smart yes? He see kids and crews and bad way and he know to change but he smart and he know to do it…slow…yes? He change and make better. The dogs in desert yes? What you call these…’

‘Dogs?’ Anne asks.

‘The dogs that do laughing. They take weak and…’

‘Hyenas?’ Andrew says.

‘Yes. These. Crews, they these animals. They no have…they no go school….they no loyal or…they no Howie! Yes? They young and what they know is bad…the Bossman he make them this way…’

‘They’re all bloody dead,’ Andrew points out. ‘Or lying back there cut to bits…’

‘No. Many they left. Many older that quick and run when Lani blow up. Sierra. She out there. She see Maddox go down. She see Darius head shot open. They get guns. They take over. We go quick. We no weak,’ she looks to Lilly, nodding rapidly with the fierce determination of knowing what must be done. ‘You shoot them…like Lani…yes?’

‘What? No!’ Lilly steps back with disgust evident on her face.

‘Yes! We do this. We strong. We no weak. They see weak they take. They dogs laughing. They take weak.’

‘They’re just children,’ Anne says.

‘No. One on own is children. They together they not children. They kill many times. We go quick. I get gun. We no let them have gun. We wait for Maddox to be awake yes?’

‘Lenski,’ Andrew says, closing his eyes as every minute of this new day just gets worse, ‘Maddox might not wake up…’

‘He wake,’ Lenski says, growling the words out. ‘He strong. Maddox no die. He strong. We go now.’

‘Lenski,’ Lilly blurts, running after the woman who turns to stalk out of the room, ‘Lenski wait…’

‘We no wait. We quick. We get guns…’

‘Lenski I cannot shoot a child…I don’t know if I can shoot anyone…Lenski, wait…’

Her words are ignored as Lenski walks briskly through the rooms. Adrenalin starts to course and thrum through Lilly’s limbs. A shuddering sensation of pressure building. Of one danger passing as yet another presents itself.
I’m fifteen. I can’t do this.
‘Lenski, please wait…’

‘We go quick,’ Lenski repeats without turning. ‘Get guns…lock guns…fix hole in wall…’

I can’t shoot a child. I have to look after Billy. Why me? Why do I have to do this? I wish Nick was here. I’m only fifteen. I’m not an adult.
The speed of the walking makes her mind flit back to the time spent with Nick and the field in which they kissed when she offered herself to him. His lips. Soft. His hands and arms. Strong. His manner. Gentle. His eyes. A killer. He could have taken her. She would have let it happen but he didn’t.
That’s not our way. We do the right thing. Mr Howie said we have to do the right thing otherwise none of this is fucking worth it…shit! Sorry, Lilly, I keep swearing.

That warm feeling inside when she thinks about him vanishes at the sudden rush of reality at the building pressure of a confrontation yet to come. She has seen the crews and the pack instinct is within them. The way they only take heed of each other and those they perceive as stronger than they. The deference they hold for Maddox and Howie’s team but the sullen skulky way they stare at everyone else. The way they suck their teeth and curl their upper lips as they spit and look aside with disdain and disrespect.

Down the main aisle she rushes after Lenski. Watching the Polish’s woman back and knowing inside that everything Lenski said makes sense. The children on their own are nice, even polite sometimes. Lilly knows, without vanity, that she is pretty and has seen the difference in reaction at the way the boys are to her in contrast to their reaction to others but that physical appearance won’t hold sway now. Individually she could talk to them, maybe get them to understand and comply with consent but together? While they have that pack instinct and false bravado running through them? No way. Not a chance.

I can’t do this. I can’t. I wish Nick was here. He’d be strong and they’d see his hard eyes that are never hard when he looks at her.
In the old armoury she took them coffee and mops to clean the dog mess up. She kissed him then too. When Maddox was coming and Howie and the others all scooted back. She grabbed Nick and kissed him with an effort to give pretence to why she was taking so long. Only it wasn’t pretence and she felt first his shock, then his acceptance and finally his yearning for her.
Nick. Come back. Please come back.
She knows Howie’s team have lost Lani and must be reeling from the pain and shock. The sheer exhaustion too of everything they have done. Of all the battles, the fights, the running and never giving in. Doing the right thing. Do the right thing.
That’s our way. Nick’s way. It can be my way too. I can do the right thing. I must do the right thing.