The UnTied Kingdom (23 page)

But since she wasn’t attracted to him, that didn’t matter.

Eve finished washing her hands, and went back into the sitting room, where Daz was kneeling by the computer components, peering at them in fascination. Harker was standing, looking at his watch.

‘How long does it take you to wash your hands?’ he said incredulously.

Eve stuck her tongue out at him. ‘How long does it take you to become computer literate?’ she said. ‘Because until you are, I’m the one in charge of this, all right, and I’m having
clean
hands touching it.’ She glanced at Daz, who rolled his eyes.

‘I’m a doctor,’ he said. ‘I know about clean hands.’

‘It’s a machine,’ Harker said. ‘It’s not going to go gangrenous.’ He looked at it doubtfully. ‘Is it?’

‘No, but you really don’t want to get sticky fingers inside it. I’m still not even convinced that keyboard is going to work.’

‘Well, then you’ll have to fix it.’

Eve closed her eyes. ‘Harker, you can’t just fix a keyboard that’s had blood spilled all over it. If we’re lucky, there’ll have been a layer of rubber protecting the components inside. But if there isn’t, or if some of the … liquid got inside, it will have fried the electronics and you’re going to need someone with about a hundred times my skills to fix it.’

‘Can’t you learn? Daz has books–’

‘Written in hieroglyphs,’ Eve said, because Daz had showed her some of the books and they’d reminded her that the Americas hadn’t been colonised by anybody from Europe. ‘Do you speak American?’

‘Algonquian,’ Daz murmured.

‘I know a few words,’ Harker said.

‘Any of them repeatable?’

Harker narrowed his eyes at her, then said, ‘Daz. We need a phone line. Can you see what you can do about it? And send Charlie up, will you?’

Daz looked between them, then without smiling in any way at all, nodded and left the room.

Eve gave Harker a look and settled back down on the floor to finish untangling the wires. She figured she’d plug in the CPU first to see if it actually worked, then start on the peripherals.

‘Are you going to sit and watch me all day?’ she said, without looking up.

‘Yep.’

‘Marvellous.’

‘Would it really stop the … the …’

She looked up. He was waving his hand at the desk.

‘The keyboard?’

‘Yeah. Would getting it wet really break it?’

‘Yes. Trust me. I once spilt coffee on one and could only type words on the left side of the keyboard. Unfortunately, I was working for someone called Ogilvie, so his name ended up as ‘ve’.’

Harker was looking nonplussed again. Eve sighed, and debated explaining a QWERTY keyboard to him.

‘Never mind,’ she said.

She untangled the power cable at last and plugged one end into the CPU. Holding her breath, she plugged the other end into the wall socket, and pressed the power switch.

Nothing happened.

‘Well, damn.’

‘What?’

‘Well, that was supposed to come on.’ She sighed.

‘The, uh, monitor thing is blank.’ Harker came over and peered at it. ‘Are these wires supposed to be connected?’

‘Yes, eventually, but I need to get this working first. Remember what I said in those notes about this being the brain of the computer? And the rest of it is just how you see what’s on it, or input new stuff?’

‘Yes, but without anything to display the information on, how do you know it’s not working?’

‘Well, these lights aren’t on for one thing. And it’s not making a noise.’

‘Should it?’

‘Yes. It should.’

She set Harker to locating another plug point, and carried the CPU into the bedroom where he’d unplugged the lamp by the bed. Still nothing.

‘Are you sure no one dropped this? Or got it wet?’ she said, frowning at the CPU as it lay on Harker’s pillow.

‘I’m sure,’ he said. ‘And it was working when we got it.’

She resisted the urge to sigh again. He’d probably just yanked the plug out, which could have caused the damage. It didn’t seem likely he’d have waited for it to power down.

‘Well,’ she said, ‘I suppose I could have a look inside it.’ She turned it over and inspected the back plate. ‘I’m going to need a screwdriver. A small Phillips head.’

Another blank look.

‘You
do
know what a screwdriver is?’ Eve said heavily.

‘Yes, I know what a screwdriver is,’ Harker said. ‘But I don’t know what a small Phillips head is.’

‘Well, small means little, like the size of my patience,’ Eve said. ‘A Phillips head is the crosswise kind, look,’ she pointed to the screwheads, and Harker leaned in close.

It rather suddenly occurred to Eve that they were leaning over his bed together, and she drew back sharply.

‘Okay,’ Harker said, still looking closely at the back of the computer. ‘Come on, then.’

‘What do you need me for?’

He hesitated, just for a split second, but in that second his eyes darted to the computer, and Eve’s mouth dropped open.

‘Oh my God,’ she said. ‘That’s why you’re here, isn’t it? You think I’m going to sabotage it, don’t you?’

‘I never said–’

‘You didn’t have to. Or am I going to use it to send messages to my Coalitionist friends?’

‘Do you have Coalitionist friends?’ Harker said.

‘
No
. But then, maybe I should. They’d have to be nicer to me than you are,’ Eve said, and snatched up the CPU to stomp back into the sitting room.

‘Come on, Eve, don’t start on this again,’ Harker said, following her.

‘Well, how would you like it if everyone thought you were a spy, huh? If all you did was have a minor accident and get blown off course because no one actually told you how to use the damn thing, and when you woke up you were accused of spying?’

But it seemed odd, talking about the glider and the TV show and the accident. Almost as if she was relating something that had happened to someone else. On TV maybe, or in a book. Not something that had happened in this world.

Harker pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘Look at it from my point of view, would you? I’ve got someone flying over the river – over the Tower, no less – when the only things that ought to be flying through the sky are birds. When you wake up you can’t tell me where you’re from–’

‘I
can
,’ Eve said.

‘Oh, aye. Mitcham. Remember Mitcham?’

‘Yes,’ Eve said wretchedly, ‘but not the Mitcham you showed me.’ She sat down in the armchair and put her head in her hands. Took a deep breath or two.

Maybe she really was crazy. Maybe she’d hit her head. Maybe she was in a coma and dreaming all this. Maybe she was dead.

‘Oh God,’ she groaned, ‘is this hell?’

‘No. Hell wouldn’t have toast and honey.’

She looked up. Harker was crouched in front of her, concern in his eyes. There was a small scar just under his left eye, on the cheekbone. A tiny dent.

‘Look, Eve, I’m trying here,’ Harker said softly. ‘I’ve got a job to do.’

‘I know,’ she said.

‘And for all I know you could be innocent. But then, for all I know you might not be. And I just can’t risk something so important on a maybe.’

Eve reached out without really thinking and touched that little scar. ‘What made that?’

Harker’s eyes closed for just a second. He swallowed. ‘Don’t remember,’ he said, his voice slightly husky. ‘Did it as a child.’ His hand moved up to cover hers, and this time it was Eve whose breath caught in her throat. ‘Eve–’

Someone scratched at the door. Eve froze, and so did Harker, then he rose and turned away. ‘Yeah?’

It was Tallulah. ‘Sir, Captain Haran says he’s got the phone line working.’

Harker glanced back at Eve, then at the computer. ‘That any good to you?’

‘Maybe, once I get the thing working.’ She blinked, shook her head. Something had just happened and she wasn’t entirely sure what. ‘Uh, I forgot to ask if this has a modem. You might need–’ She saw his face. ‘Never mind.’

Harker gave the computer a dark look. ‘Lu,’ he said, ‘stay here. I’m going to find a screwdriver.’

With that he was gone, and Eve was left with Tallulah giving her a very knowing look.

‘Whatever you’re thinking,’ Eve said, closing her eyes, ‘don’t.’

Chapter Seventeen

‘Ah!’ said Eve suddenly, waking Harker from his half-doze.

‘What?’

But she wasn’t speaking to him. Daz was also sitting on the floor, holding the light for her to peer into the back of the computer. Harker had looked in, and been reminded of a drawing he’d seen once of Manhattan, all these toweringly high buildings full up of tiny apartments, people living on top of each other all higgledy-piggledy.

‘See this?’ Eve pointed to something he couldn’t see. ‘It shouldn’t be loose.’

She dealt Harker a look that said it was his fault.

‘Once again, no one dropped it–’

‘Where should it go?’ Daz said.

‘Well, that’s the fun thing. See these tiny sockets?’

‘Um …’

‘Any one of those.’

‘But there are dozens. Hundreds.’

‘Yep,’ Eve said with mock cheerfulness. She glared at Harker again. He ignored her, having just heard the car pull up outside. Charlie. He left Eve with Daz – probably safer that way – and made his way downstairs, colliding with Sir Dennis in the lobby.

‘Is that my car?’ he asked, peering out through the fantail.

‘Yep. Lovely machine,’ Harker said, striding towards the door.

‘You’ve had it out every day!’

‘Nice little runner.’

‘I really must protest, Major–’

Harker spun around so fast Sir Dennis lost his footing. ‘Are you impeding the war effort, Sir Dennis?’

Sir Dennis’s moustache quivered with indignation. ‘Of course not, sir!’

‘Good. Then you won’t mind us making full use of your car, will you?’

He didn’t wait for an answer, but went outside into the cold, where Banks was driving the car back around to the garage. Charlie crunched over the gravel towards him.

‘Still there, sir,’ she said. ‘At least for the time being, then they’re moving them to Madingly’s house tonight.’

The former MP who’d led the secession. ‘Guarded?’

‘Extremely well.’

‘Excellent.’ Harker turned to go back inside the house. If Daz and Eve couldn’t get that damned machine working, they’d have to break into what was probably the best-defended house in Leeds just to get some spare parts.

‘Any progress on the machine, sir?’

‘Some. Well, no. She’s fannying about with wires and screwdrivers – seriously, Charlie, I’ve seen entrails less complicated than that. It’s all tiny, tiny little pieces of – I don’t even know what they are. She calls ’em circuit board.’

‘Is someone watching her, sir?’

‘Yes, Charlie. At all times, Charlie. Just as ordered, Charlie.’

She gave him a reproachful look. ‘I’m only trying–’

‘Yeah, I know.’ The trouble was, so was Eve.

At lunch, he asked Eve if she’d got the keyboard working. She gave him a harassed look.

‘No. I told you, I won’t know if that works until I’ve got the CPU working. There’s no point having a fully functioning hand if your brain is missing, is there?’

‘I dunno, it’s always worked for me,’ Banks said.

She left lunch early, trailed by Banks, since Harker figured he’d probably be best at diffusing her. Daz followed them shortly after, and Harker turned to Charlie and said, ‘Okay. If she can’t get these pieces working, we go into town and break into Madingly’s place.’

‘Dangerous, sir.’

Harker rolled his eyes. ‘Charlie, we’re the bloody army. Dangerous is what we
do
.’

Happily, while they were still making plans, a triumphant shout came from upstairs. At least, Harker assumed it was an occasion for happiness. In the back of his mind he still couldn’t banish hideous thoughts of Eve and Daz shagging like mad, every opportunity they got.

No, Banks is there too
, he reminded himself, and then his treacherous imagination added Banks into the scenario, and he ran up the stairs so fast he nearly tripped and broke his neck.

But when he pushed the door open, everyone was still clothed and clustered around the computer. The CPU box was glowing, at least a small section of it at the front was, and a low humming sound came from it.

Eve looked up, beaming. ‘It’s working!’ she said, grabbing a cable that was linked to the flat black screen, and pushing it into a socket at the back of the computer.

The screen made a noise that sounded like
glonk
, and then a little light flashed down in one corner.

Eve stared at it. Harker stared at Eve.
Damn, she’s beautiful
.

‘That’s it!’ she shrieked, turning those big blue-green eyes on Daz and squeezing his arm. ‘It’s working.’ She let out a big sigh. ‘Oh, thank goodness for that, I thought it was completely knackered.’

She watched the screen as various things flashed up on it, all of them complete nonsense to Harker, until it settled on a black screen with a couple of lines of text in the corner. The last character blinked on and off.

Eve nodded and brushed some dried blood from the keyboard before tapping a few buttons. She watched the screen, where precisely nothing happened. ‘Oh dear.’

Harker’s heart sank. ‘What do you mean, oh dear?’

‘Well, I’m not getting anything out of this.’ She hit a few keys. ‘See? Nothing on screen.’ She peered at the single line of text, which was a couple of nonsensical characters, and added, ‘And I have a feeling it’s in French anyway.’

Harker rolled his head back. The muscles in his neck crunched.

‘I did tell you–’ Eve began.

‘Yeah, yeah. Can’t you fix it?’

Eve peered doubtfully at the keyboard. ‘I told you–’
             

‘Yes, I
know
. Can you fix it, Eve?’

She chewed her lip. ‘Well, I can try, but I can’t promise anything. If the blood’s got inside–’

‘Yeah,’ Harker said wearily. He looked at his watch, then at Charlie. She gave him a look that said he must be joking.

He gave her one that said he wasn’t. ‘Half-an-hour, men, get ready to leave. We’re going raiding again.’

Tallulah groaned. Banks grinned. Charlie glowered.

‘Martindale,’ Harker said, ‘how’s the ankle?’

‘Fine, sir.’

‘Daz?’

‘Up to her, sir.’

Harker waved her off, and turned to Eve. ‘I’ll get you a new keyboard,’ he said. ‘Without blood on it this time.’

A flicker of a smile touched her lips. ‘Don’t suppose you could stretch to an iPod?’

Harker blinked at her.

Eve almost laughed. ‘No, I didn’t think so. Okay, well. Good luck.’

He nodded, and left the room, Charlie trailing after him.

‘Sir, do we really need to do this?’

‘Yes.’

‘But what if she’s just pretending it doesn’t work? Sir, if she’s got it working, she could be sending messages to the Coalitionists about where we are–’

‘Yes, Charlie, or maybe it’s just not bloody working! She did say don’t get it wet–’

‘Which makes for a very convenient excuse when we did, don’t you think?’

‘And how did she know Banks was going to shoot someone right in front of it?’

‘I don’t
know
, sir, I’m just trying to make sure you don’t–’

He spun around so fast she walked into him. ‘I don’t what?’

Her brown eyes narrowed. ‘Forget your mission. Sir.’

Charlie, his oldest and closest friend, was challenging him. Except she wasn’t his oldest and closest friend, dammit, she was his Lieutenant. She was a soldier, and so was he, and he had a job to do. He took a deep breath and let it out.

‘I never forget my mission, Lieutenant.’

‘No, sir.’

He started walking again.

‘Uniform, sir,’ she said, and he growled at her and reversed course.

‘There,’ Tallulah pointed to a glint of light. ‘That’s it.’

‘Sure?’ Harker whispered back.

‘Yes, that’s the monitor thing.’

Harker nodded, brought up his binoculars and peered at the truck as the back was closed up, and a soldier banged on the back of it. It set off, slowly, another truck in front of it and another behind. Men on horses flanked it.

Harker swore and crawled from his hiding place to Charlie’s. ‘Four cavalry, two trucks flanking,’ he said, ‘probably all full of armed men.’

‘Want to wait until they get there?’ she asked.

‘Centre of town? Nightmare. We do it on the road. Banks? You got plenty of ammo?’

‘Yessir.’ Banks hefted his sniper rifle.

‘Good. You’re with Lieutenant Riggs, south side of the road. Go!’

They ran off into the night. With Tallulah and Martindale following, Harker darted through the trees to the north of the compound, chasing fast after the convoy. Good job the computer equipment was sensitive, or they’d surely have been moving too fast.

The trucks blazed with light as they rattled along the road.
Stupid,
Harker thought,
that’s like an invitation. They might as well have stuck a foghorn on top.

‘Lu,’ he said, as they reached the edge of the road. ‘You up to this?’

She nodded and handed him her coat. The only one of them not in Coalitionist uniform, she was wearing something filched from the head housemaid, who’d surely be furious to find it missing. Not that there was much of it to miss. Tight, red, and showing lots of thigh, it was about a hundred times more vampish than Harker was comfortable seeing on someone he really regarded as something like a little sister.

If Saskia knew about this,
he thought,
she’d bloody kill me
.

The thought cheered him. Annoying Saskia usually did.

‘Off you go, then,’ he said, and Tallulah ran towards the road, yanking down her bodice as she did. Harker heard cloth tear and caught a glimpse of pale breast, before Tallulah disappeared into the darkness.

‘So that’s why you sent Banks with the Lieutenant,’ Martindale said dryly.

Harker glanced at her briefly before turning his attention back to the convoy, half-visible through the thick tree trunks. ‘Don’t reckon he’d be able to concentrate.’

‘He’d probably challenge anyone who saw her breast to a duel.’

Harker, who still didn’t really like the idea of Tallulah even having breasts, let alone showing them to anyone, fidgeted awkwardly. Then Tallulah’s cry of, ‘Help! Please!’ sounded over the rumble of the truck engines, and he forgot all about her breasts and started hoping she’d get picked up.

More voices sounded, but he couldn’t tell what they were saying. Creeping closer, he saw one of the cavalrymen halted by the side of the road, leering down at Tallulah, who was doing a very good impression of a helpless woman in distress.

Well
. A good impression of what people thought a woman in distress ought to act like. Anyone who’d seen Mary White’s glassy eyes would disagree with Tallulah’s performance.

‘I can’t leave my post, miss,’ the cavalryman was saying to Tallulah, ‘but you’re welcome to ride with me.’

Tallulah didn’t hesitate. ‘Are you armed, sir? I’m so frightened they’ll come after me!’

‘Yes, of course I’m armed.’ He laughed, showing her his sword and pistol. ‘Come on, then.’ He held out his hand, and pulled her up on to his lap. Tallulah wriggled, which he seemed to enjoy –
pervert
– and they set off.

‘She can take care of herself, sir,’ Martindale whispered, and Harker realised he was grinding his teeth.

‘Come on,’ he said, and they ran alongside the road, hidden by the trees and their dark clothes, as Tallulah turned big blue eyes on the cavalryman and spoke in a high, breathless voice.

‘I’m so frightened, sir! Would you mind – no, it’s too silly.’

‘No, tell me.’

‘Well, sir, I’d just feel so much safer if you had your sword in hand,’ she said, and her bosom heaved. Harker shook his head in disbelief. Ballet nothing, this kid could act.

The cavalryman gave what he probably thought was a dashing grin –
he even had a moustache, the twat
– and obliged by drawing his sword and twirling it showily. Tallulah gave him a shy smile.

‘And your pistol, sir, how accurate is it?’ she asked, as they drew level with the convoy again. The other horseman on the same side looked back and shook his head at his comrade.

‘Oh, it’s quite accurate. I can shoot a man at a hundred paces.’

Harker shared a glance with Martindale who, like him, could do that blindfolded.

‘May I see it?’

The cavalryman, who clearly thought he was well in, drew his pistol, which Harker considered an extremely stupid thing to do. Tallulah clearly agreed, for she pressed it against his chest and pulled the trigger. The sound was lost in the rumble of the noisy truck next to her.

Harker liked fools, so long as they were fighting for the other side. Clearly, Tallulah’s cavalryman and the one riding in front of her were both complete idiots, because they were dead within five minutes of her mounting the horse. Harker ran up, gave Tallulah her coat as she kicked the dead man away, and took his place on the other horse.