Authors: Pamela Stephenson

The Varnished Untruth (40 page)

BOOK: The Varnished Untruth

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I also have plenty of lovely Mom stories. However, I assume that’s not the angle you’re going for . . . That list is much longer. Xxx
(Awww! Love you, too!)

Yes, as I told you before, my children think I’m ridiculous, and they’re quite right. I’d love to be a fly on the wall when they discuss me, to observe the eye-rolling complaints. They’re old enough and smart enough now to second-guess me, and some may even try to parent me from time to time. I won’t object. You can look after me, if needs be; just don’t ever treat me like an old lady. I’ll race you to the beach.

M
Y
S
TAIRS

Just in case you’re wondering, I do know I’m blessed, so please stop thinking I’m a spoiled, ungrateful bitch. Wherever I am in the world, there are seven stairs. Somewhere, anywhere. It doesn’t matter – I find them. And I climb up and down in gratitude:

		Up
1st stair		Thanks for the love I receive and give
2nd stair		Thanks for my health and the health of my family
3rd stair		Thanks for the food, clothing, shelter – and many other gifts – my family and I receive
4th stair		Thanks for my friends – their love and support
5th stair		Thanks for all the fun and laughter in my life
6th stair		Thanks for my ability to grow and learn
7th stair		Thanks for my ability to be grateful
		Down
7th stair		I let go of my anger
6th stair		I let go of my bitterness
5th stair		I let go of my hatred
4th stair		I let go of my envy
3rd stair		I let go of my distrust
2nd stair		I let go of my longing
1st stair		I let go of my pain

T
HANK
Y
OUS

Several kind people read the manuscript and offered suggestions that I mostly ignored, notably: ‘Did you really have to make it all about you?’ (Billy); ‘Wish you could tell the real story. It’d make
Fifty Shades of Grey
look like
The Little Mermaid
’ (Kathy Lette); ‘The part of Sharon needs expansion’ (Sharon). They had idiosyncratic reactions to various items, such as the masseur story: ‘Take it out!’ (Billy); ‘No one’s going to believe you didn’t shag him’ (Kathy); and ‘You mean he didn’t . . . ? Damn! I paid him $250 to get you off’ (Sharon).

Fortunately, Carly Cook provided proper, helpful suggestions – as well as wonderful support – while Jo Roberts-Miller gave me sterner, detailed notes to stop me getting cocky. And Trevor Leighton made me look much prettier on the cover than I do in real life (and I mean MUCH!) – turn up at a book signing for a closer look; you’ll soon see what I mean.

Right from the start, Kerr MacRae showed very kind enthusiasm for this book, and without him I would not have had the gumption to write it. He also dances a mean Scottish reel, which in itself makes him a superior human being. My agent Ed Victor took time out of his busy life to look after my interests. Thank you, Ed. No one likes to be interrupted when they’re lying in a rosemary bath being hand-fed Bündnerfleisch by Nigella Lawson.

And I suppose I should thank my parents for being dead so I could complain about them. Hah!

Oh, stop it. Did I ever say I was nice?

L
IST
OF
I
LLUSTRATIONS

1. The missionary and the merchant – Grandma (‘Nanna’) and Grandpa Thomas in Fiji.

2. Silly hats aboard ship – Mum and Dad, and Auntie Sally opposite, New Year’s Eve 1960.

3. ‘What exactly do I do with this?’ Dad and me.

4. ‘Let me out of here!’ Me in New Zealand.

5. The family in Singapore. Mum is hiding behind me, Auntie Sally between Claire and Lesley.

6. Marine biology lesson from Dad at Coromandel, New Zealand.

7. ‘What? Another one?’ Lesley’s arrival, 1952.

8. It’s a hard life, being a butterfly.

9. ‘Peas in a pod’ – my sisters and me (
far right
) in the Boronia Park garden, Australia.