The Very Nearly Honorable League of Pirates #1 (11 page)

Jasper wrote “PASSION” in large letters on his notepad and underlined it twice.

After a moment, Charlie set down his cinnamon bun. “You're serious, aren't you?”

“Of course,” said Hilary. “A pirate is always serious.”

“It's just that most of you lot want nothing to do with pirates, and I thought . . .” Charlie shifted uncomfortably in his hammock.

“It's all right,” said Hilary. “I've met some thoroughly nasty High Society folks myself. I can't say I'm sorry you're stealing their magic.”

Jasper furrowed his brow. “Pardon me?”

“You
are
the ones behind those magic thefts, aren't you?”

“Thefts!” cried Jasper, leaping up from his hammock. “Do you take us for common criminals? We are pirates! We may plunder a few things here and there, but I assure you, we're not thieves.”

“But weren't you escaping from the queen's inspectors? They came after you on the train!”

Jasper sighed. “As it happens,” he said, “we'd picked up a certain item in Queensport, and the inspectors were under the impression that it didn't belong to us. If they'd caught us, they certainly would have drawn the same conclusion you did—that we'd been stealing magic from High Society for weeks. It's not true, of course, but I doubt the queen's inspectors would have believed me.”

Hilary frowned. Jasper seemed honest enough, but pirates were hardly known for being trustworthy. And the masked figures she'd seen outside Westfield House might have been Jasper and Charlie—though they'd been so far away that they might have been anyone else, too. “Do you mean to say there's a second pair of unscrupulous gentlemen traveling around Augusta and stealing things?”

“That is exactly what I mean to say.” Jasper returned to his hammock. “And I do wish they'd stop, whoever they are; they're becoming a terrible nuisance.” He flipped his coin in the air once more. “But you've got nothing to worry about. If we take you on our crew, your magic piece will be safe with us.”

Hilary froze. “I don't have a magic piece! I told you on the train; I swear I don't have magic!”

“There's no need to look so terrified.” Jasper held the coin out in his palm; it wasn't a doubloon. It was imprinted on both sides—a crown on one side, a figure eight on the other—and Hilary knew without asking that it was very old. “I've got a magic piece here myself, and I certainly don't need anyone else's.”

“Most pirates have a bit of magic, once they've dug up a treasure or two,” Charlie added. “Not me, though; I can't stand to use the stuff. Which means that when Jasper here uses his coin to magic up some fancy clothes for the two of us, he exhausts himself making silk handkerchiefs and leather gloves and enormous trousers. Soon enough he's too tired to conjure up anything larger than a cufflink, and we've got to find another magic user to help us vanish off a train.” Charlie shook his head. “Jasper gets a bit carried away with disguises.”

“But it all worked out in the end, didn't it?” said Jasper. “Even though Hilary here refused to magic us away?”

“I suppose so,” said Charlie. “Next time, though, I'd like some trousers that fit properly.”

In Jasper's palm, the magic piece jumped.

“Ah,” said Jasper. “I thought so.” He turned to Hilary. “Did you know that magic vibrates when it senses more magic nearby?”

Hilary shook her head.

“Well, it does. And you apparently have such a large chunk of magic, it's got this coin jumping about all over the place. It happened on the train, and it's happening now.” Jasper waved the coin at Hilary's face, but it didn't move. As he brought it closer to her bag, however, the coin started to jitter uncontrollably. So did the bag. “Very curious,” said Jasper. “Will you tell me what you've got in there, or shall I take a look for myself?”

Hilary felt queasy, but she knew the pirate meant business. She reached into her bag and pulled out the gargoyle, whose ears were shaking as furiously as Jasper's coin. “If you hurt him,” she said, holding him tight against her chest, “I'll slice you from port to starboard.”

“And I'll bite you,” said the gargoyle. “Would you put down that dratted coin? It's making my ears tingle, and I'd rather not lose them. I'm missing enough limbs as it is.”

Jasper burst out laughing. “I'm not sure what I was expecting,” he said once he'd recovered his composure. “A bag of magic coin, perhaps, or a magic bracelet. But certainly not that.”

“I am not a
that
,” said the gargoyle. “I am a gargoyle. And a pirate,” he added after a few moments' thought.

Jasper leaned forward. “If you had a hand,” he said, “I would shake it. How did you come to be a pirate, might I ask?”

“I came to be a pirate in Hilary's bag,” said the gargoyle. “Obviously. Wimbly-on-the-Marsh is a long way to hop.”

Jasper laughed again, and Charlie knelt down to introduce himself to the gargoyle, who immediately requested a scratch behind the ears. Overhead, Fitzwilliam the budgerigar gave out an annoyed sort of tweet.

“He doesn't like you,” Jasper explained to the gargoyle. “But I do. In fact, I like both of you very much.” He put down his notepad. “What do you think, Charlie?”

“She's survived finishing school, so we know she's brave,” said Charlie, “and she helped us escape from those inspectors on the train. I say we take her on.”

“A good argument,” said Jasper. He turned back to Hilary. “You've got more wits about you than all those blustering idiots out there combined. And I think your friend here could be a useful addition to our crew.” He nodded at the gargoyle, who glanced modestly down at his tail. “Still, you're not a League member, you've got no real experience, and you are”—he lowered his voice—“a girl.”

The gargoyle's ears flopped, and Hilary's heart flopped right along with them.

“There are a lot of pirates right outside this door who'd want to run me through for hiring a schoolgirl over them, you understand. And I have to maintain my reputation. Terror of the Southlands and all that.”

“I understand,” Hilary whispered. Her hammock swayed from side to side, making the floorboards lurch beneath her feet.

“However,” said Jasper, “I'm willing to cut you a deal. You might as well know that Charlie and I are on the search for treasure. I'll offer you a spot on our crew, and if you find that treasure for me, I'll tug a few strings, make sure you're established in the League, a full-fledged pirate, et cetera. Sound fair?”

“Yes! Yes, it does.” Miss Greyson had often reminded Hilary that jumping up and down was not ladylike, and she suspected it wasn't particularly piratical, either, so she tried very hard not to bounce in her hammock. “Thank you so much,” she said. “I swear you won't be sorry.”

“Please, don't thank me yet. If you don't get me that treasure, I don't care how fast you can fire a cannon, or how sharp your sword is—it's back to Miss Pimm's for you, and you'll never be able to show your face on a pirate ship again.” He lifted his mug and took a swig of grog. “I'm very good at blackening people's names, you know.”

“I'm sure you are,” said Hilary quickly. Jasper seemed pleasant enough, but she had no desire to end up on the wrong end of his sword—especially on her first day as a pirate.

“Right.” Jasper smiled at her. “Do we have a deal?”

He extended his hand, and Hilary shook it.

“I'll find that treasure for you, sir,” she said. “My governess would throw a fit if my name were blackened.”

“Then we're settled,” said Jasper. “Welcome to the crew.”

From the Humble Pen of
E
LOISE
G
REYSON

Hilary Westfield!
What are you up to?
Get back here right now!

POSTAL COURIER COULD NOT DELIVER
REASON: COULD NOT FIND MISS WESTFIELD ANYWHERE. SORRY.

various extracts
From

T
reasure
H
unting for
B
eginners:

THE OFFICIAL VNHLP GUIDE

A BRIEF INTRODUCTION TO
TREASURE:

I
f you are a pirate who does not know what treasure is, you are sure to be laughed out of every groggery in Augusta. In fact, you may be laughed straight out of your own ship by schools of small, disdainful fish. But fear not: this guide is here to save you from that wretched fate. You are a beginner, after all, and we at the VNHLP are not entirely heartless.

Although you may think highly of your best pirate jacket, your parrot-feather collection, or your hundred-year-old bottle of grog,
these things are not treasure
. We assure you that any pirate who opened a treasure chest containing these items would be sorely disappointed. Nor should any decent treasure chest contain gold, rubies, emeralds, diamonds, or other useless stones. High Society folks may have use for such baubles, but pirates do not! Have you ever seen a pirate pacing the deck of his galleon in a diamond tiara? We did not think so.

Real pirate treasure consists of one thing, and one thing only: magic ore. After the ore is smelted to produce pure magic, that magic is traditionally formed into gold-colored coins, but other tools and figures made of magic are not uncommon discoveries in a pirate's treasure chest.

Indeed, a scallywag by the name of Blackjaw Hawkins once buried a treasure chest packed from top to bottom with magic toothbrushes. You may scoff at the notion of tooth brushing—you are a pirate, after all—but remember: treasure is powerful stuff, and it must not be scoffed at.

CONCERNING
FAME
AND
FORTUNE:

S
mall treasure troves hidden by previous generations of pirates can be found on deserted islands and rocky outcroppings throughout the kingdom. However, many a pirate has tried to make his name on the High Seas by searching for famous, long-lost treasures. These include the fabled wreck of the good ship
Petunia
, the infamous magic stash of the Enchantress of the Northlands, and, of course, the toothbrush collection of Blackjaw Hawkins. Although several pirates have set out in search of these treasures, none have been successful, and more than a few have perished in the attempt. If you seek such a treasure, beware! The VNHLP takes no responsibility for the foolish actions of overeager young pirates, although we will most likely declare a half holiday on the High Seas when you perish.

T
HE DAYS THAT
followed were a flurry of plans and preparations. Jasper's small pirate ship was moored in the cove behind his house, and there was a galley to stock, a deck to swab, a mainsail to mend, and a badly damaged Jolly Roger to repair. “Just a cannonball wound,” said Jasper, looking at Hilary through the giant hole in the skull and crossbones. “Nothing to worry about, really.”

The only thing Jasper was worrying about at the moment, it seemed, was finding the final two members of his pirate crew. He'd spent the rest of Saturday interviewing the pirates who remained in line, and all of Sunday with an entirely new batch of scourges and scallywags, but each one was unsuitable in some way. By Monday evening, he had reached the depths of despair. “I have never,” he shouted, “met so many ill-behaved people in my life! They're all as greedy as thieves, and twice as traitorous.” He paced the length of his salon. “Perhaps my luck's run out at last.”

And perhaps it had, because on Tuesday, Jasper hired Oliver.

Hilary and Charlie were stocking the ship with cannonballs when Jasper appeared on the dock with Oliver at his side. “Young Oliver here knows more about ship repair than I do myself,” said Jasper, “and he's smarter than you might think from looking at him. He was first in line this morning and far more polite than the usual rapscallions—so I signed him up.”

“Happy to be aboard, sir,” said Oliver, giving Jasper a small salute. He'd scuffed up his good boots, and he'd traded in his naval uniform for a well-worn set of pirate clothes, but not even the threadbare jacket and faded eye patch could disguise his familiar sneer. Jasper hurried back to the bungalow to interview the next pirate in line, and Hilary and Oliver stared at each other in horror.

“It's a good thing you're here,” said Charlie. “We've still got loads of work to do. The mainsail needs stitching up; you could start with that.”

“Stitching?” Oliver flicked a bit of dust from his jacket and sneered at Hilary. “If it's all the same to you, I'd prefer not to do girls' work.”

“Would you prefer it, then,” said Hilary, “if I dropped this cannonball on your foot?” She took aim at his toes, but to her great annoyance, Charlie stepped in and blocked her path.

“All work on this ship is pirates' work,” he said to Oliver, “and we're all pirates here. You'd do well to follow my orders when Jasper's not around.” Then Charlie turned to Hilary. “He may be as miserable as a dishrag,” he said, “but he'll be no help to us at all with a broken foot.”