The Virtuoso (9 page)

It didn't seem like enough. Not with her.

“Just let me hold you,” he murmured, leaving his hand on the firm muscle of her calf. She relaxed against him, and he felt her lips against his neck. He shifted, enjoying the rub of his cock against her weight but for some reason not repeating the movement. His hand settled on her back, and she relaxed further.

For long moments, she stayed draped over him, letting him rub her back, smooth his hand over her hair, and just pet her. His erection subsided some, but the desire to hold her and touch her did not.

It occurred to him the weakness in his hand might be spreading to his cock, but it was just a passing, insecure thought. It felt right to hold her, and while it didn't feel wrong to desire her, it didn't feel desperately necessary to have her sexually, either.

Not just yet.

***

“Let me have the reins,” Ellen said quietly. They'd made their good-byes to the Belmonts, the savages were asleep in the back of the wagon, and yet she'd waited only until to the foot of Candlewick lane to state her demand.

Val glanced over at her in consternation. “You?”

“Me.” She reached for the reins, and Val saw she was wearing riding gloves. They weren't as heavy as the driving gloves he sported, but they'd do.

He passed her the reins. “Why?”

“Because these are very sweet beasts and well trained,” Ellen said, shifting a little closer to Val, “and yet they are big fellows and will pull on that hand of yours.”

Amusement fled, leaving Val to frown at his gloved hand then at his companion.

“Did resting it and taking care of it this weekend help?” she asked.

“Maybe. A little. It certainly didn't hurt.”

“Well, then.” Ellen nodded, apparently feeling her point had been made.

“Ellen, I've been resting it for weeks now, and sometimes it's better and sometimes it's worse, but it never heals.”

“Take off your glove.” She gestured with her chin. “The left one.”

He complied and inspected his hand. He tried not to look at it, usually—the results were invariably disappointing. Besides, he could feel the differences, between the good days and the other days. Friday had been a bad day.

“See.” Ellen nodded at his hand. “Your third finger is losing its redness, and even your thumb and first finger look a little better. Rest helps, Valentine, real rest.”

“How am I to rebuild an entire estate and rest my hand, Ellen?” Even to his own ears, Val's voice was petulant. He was surprised she answered him.

“You admit you need to, for starters,” she chided softly. “Of course you will have to use it some, but you hardly give yourself any consideration at all. I see you, sir, up on that roof, tossing slates, or on the lane hacking at the weeds, or hefting stones the size of a five-gallon bucket. Even were you completely hale, you'd be sorely trying that hand.”

She didn't know the half of it, so Val kept his silence, feeling resentment and frustration build in the soft morning air.

“I didn't play a single note this weekend,” he said at length, but he said it so quietly, Ellen cocked her head and leaned a little closer.

“On the piano,” Val clarified. “I peeked, though, and it's a lovely instrument. Belmont plays the violin, and Abby is a passable pianist, or she must be. She has a deal of Beethoven, and you don't merely dabble, if he's to your taste.”

“You are musical?”

Val exhaled a world of loss. “Until this summer, I was nothing but musical. Now I am forbidden to play.”

Ellen glanced at his hand. “So you work?”

“So I work.” He scowled at his hand, wanting to hide it. “I keep hoping that one day I'll wake up and it will be better.”

“Like I used to hope I'd wake up one day and realize my husband was alive and I'd merely dreamed his death. Bloody unfair, but I'm not dreaming.”

Val smiled at her language, finding commiseration in it from an unlikely source. “Bloody unfair. You drive well.”

“And you rebuild estates like you were born to it. But it's still bloody unfair, isn't it?”

“Bloody blazingly unfair.”

He hadn't kissed her again after their interlude in the gazebo, and when she had dragooned him onto a bench with her tin of salve twice on Sunday, they'd stayed more or less in plain sight while she worked on his hand. It meant somebody might see his infirmity, but that was a price Val had been willing to pay for the corresponding assistance with his self-control.

That kiss had taken him aback, the intensity of it and the
rightness
. More disconcerting still was the way Ellen had felt in his arms, the way he'd been content to hold her and caress her and she'd been content to be held.

Whatever was growing between them, Val sensed it wasn't just a sexual itch that wanted scratching and then forgetting. It wasn't just about his cock, but about his hands, and his mouth, and so much more. He hadn't thought it through to his satisfaction and wasn't sure he even could.

“What does this week hold for you?” he asked his driver.

Ellen's smile was knowing, as if she realized he was taking refuge in small talk. “Weeding, of course, and some transplanting. We have to get the professor's little plants taken care of too, though, so you'll need to tell me where you want them.”

“You must take your pick first. And you cannot keep donating your time and effort to me, Ellen.”

“I will not allow you to pay me,” she shot back, spine straightening. “The boys do most of the labor, anyway, and I just order them around.”

“Order them—and me—to do something for you,” Val insisted. “Wouldn't you like a glass house, for example, a place to start your seedlings early or conserve your tender plants over the winter?”

Ellen's brows rose. “I've never considered such a thing.”

“I could build a little conservatory onto that cottage of yours,” Val said, his imagination getting hold of the project. “You already have a window on your southern exposure, and we could simply cut that into a door.”

“Cottages do not sport conservatories.”

Val waved a hand and used one of his father's favorite expressions. “
Bah.
If I made you a separate hothouse, you'd have to go outside in the winter months to tend it, and it would need a separate fire and so on. Your cottage will already have some heat to lend it, and we could elevate it a few steps, or I could make the addition the same height as your cottage and put the glass in the roof.”

“A skylight,” Ellen murmured. “They're called skylights.”

“Pretty name. I'm going to ask Dare to come up with some sketches, and you are going to let me do this.”

“It will bring in the damp.”

Val rolled his eyes. “This is England. The damp comes in, but we'll bring in the sun too, and ventilate the thing properly.”

“You mustn't.”

“Ellen, I went the entire weekend without playing a single note.”

“And the significance of this?”

“I don't know how many more such weekends I can bear.” He wasn't complaining now, he was being brutally, unbecomingly honest. “The only thing that helps is staying busy, and a little addition to your cottage will keep me busy.”

“You are busy enough.”

“I am not.” He met her eyes and let her see the misery in them. She wouldn't understand all of it, but she'd see it. “I need to be busier.” So busy he dropped from exhaustion even if he had to ruin his hand to do it, which made no sense at all.

“All right.” Ellen's gaze shifted to the broad rumps of the horses. “But you will allow me to tend your hand, and you will keep the boys occupied with your house and your grounds.”

“Under your supervision.”

“I won't stand over them every minute.”

“Certainly not.” Val grinned at her, wondering when he'd developed a penchant for arguing with ladies. “They require frequent dunking in the pond to retain any semblance of cleanliness, and your modesty would be offended.”

“As would theirs.”

He let her have the last word, content to conjure up plans for her addition as the wagon rolled toward the old… His estate.

“What?” Darius approached the stall where his piebald gelding stood, a mulish expression on the beast's long face. “I groomed your hairy arse and scratched your withers. I picked out your feet and scratched your withers again. Go play.”

Skunk, for that was the horse's name, sniffed along the wall of his stall then glared at Darius. As Darius eyed his horse, the vague sense of something being out of place grew until he stepped closer and surveyed the stall.

No water bucket.

“My apologies,” Darius muttered to his horse. Of course the animal would be thirsty, but when Darius had left Saturday morning, he distinctly recalled there being a full bucket of water in Skunk's stall. Val had taken the draft horses to Axel's, leaving Ezekiel to fend for himself in a grassy paddock that boasted shade and a running stream.

So where had the water bucket walked off to?

He found it out in the stable yard, empty and tossed on its side. When Skunk had had his fill, Darius topped off the bucket at the cistern and hung it in the horse's stall.

Resolved to find sustenance now that he'd tended to his horse, Darius left the stables, intent on raiding the stores in the springhouse.

“What ho!” Val sang out from the back terrace. “It's our Darius, wandered back from Londontowne.” He hopped to his feet and extended a hand in welcome. Darius shook it, regarding him curiously.

“You thought I'd abandon you just when the place is actually becoming habitable?”

“We're a good ways from habitable.” Val eyed his half-replaced roof. “I thought you might be seduced by the comforts of civilization. Particularly as I was not very good company by the end of the week.”

Darius offered a slight smile. “You are seldom good company, though you do entertain. Where are my favorite Visigoths, and can I eat them for lunch?”

“Come.” Val slung an arm around Darius's shoulders. “Mrs. Belmont fears for my boyish figure, and we're well provisioned until market on Wednesday.”

“So where are the heathen?” Darius asked when they gained the springhouse and Val had tossed him a towel.

“Mrs. Fitz has set them to transplanting some stock provided by Professor Belmont. Ah, there it is.” He took the soap from a dish on the hearth and plunged his hands into the water in the shallow end of the conduit. “Christ, that is cold.” He pulled his shirt over his head, bathed everything north of his waist, toweled off and replaced the shirt, then started rummaging in the hamper.

“We've ham,” Val reported, “and cheese, and bread baked this morning, and an embarrassment of cherry cobbler, as well as a stash of marzipan, and…”—he fell silent for a moment, head down in the hamper—“cider and cold tea, which should have gone in the stream, and bacon already cooked to a crisp, and something that looks like…”—he held up a ceramic dish as if it were the holy grail—“strawberry tarts. Now, which do we hide from the boys, and which do we serve for dinner?”

“We hide all of it. Let them eat trout, charred haunch of bunny, or pigeon. But let's get out of here before they fall upon us.”

The boys having made a habit of eating in the springhouse, Val and Darius took their hamper up to the carriage house.

“For what we are about to receive,” Val intoned, “we are pathetically damned grateful, and please let us eat in it peace. Amen. How good are you at designing greenhouses with windows in the roof?”

“Could be tricky,” Darius said, piling bread, meat, and cheese into a stack, “but interesting. I'm surprised Ellen will let you do this.”

“She probably thinks I'll forget.” Val accepted a thick sandwich from Darius. “I won't. Between her butter and her cheese and supervision of the boys and her… I don't know, her neighborliness, I am in her debt.”

“I was wondering if her neighborliness was responsible for reviving your spirits this past weekend,” Darius said, tipping the cider jug to his lips.

“She went with us to Candlewick,” Val began, but then Darius caught his eye. “Bugger off, Dare.”

Darius passed him the jug. “I see the improvement in your mood was temporary. I did hear young Roxbury eloped for his country seat. Seems our boy did not take his reprieve to heart but has been running up debts apace.”

Val shrugged. “He's a lord. Some of them do that.”

“I dropped in on my brother Trent.” Darius passed over the cider jug. “He mentioned Roxbury is an object of pity in the clubs.”

“Pity?” Val wiped his mouth on his sleeve. “His title is older than the Flood, the Roxbury estate is legendarily well run, and he's yet to be snabbled by the matchmakers. What's to pity?”

“He has no income to speak of.” Darius withdrew a cobbler from the hamper. “If he remains at Roxbury Hall, he can enjoy every luxury imaginable because the estate funds can be spent at the estate, on the estate without limit. His own portion is quite modest, though, and the previous baron tied most of the rest up in trusts and codicils and conditional bequests. Seems all that good management is a function of the late baron's hard work and the present army of conscientious solicitors.”

“That would put a crimp in a young man's stride.” Val frowned at the last bit of his sandwich. “How fortunate we are, not to be burdened with peerage, though such a sentiment sounds appallingly like something His Grace would say.”

“Are you being sarcastic?” Darius took another pull from the jug.

“I am not. I see what Westhaven has to go through, now that he has financial control of the duchy, his life hardly his own for all the commerce and land he must oversee. It's a wonder he had the time to tend the succession, much less the requisite privacy. And now St. Just is saddled with an earldom, and I begin to see why my father has said being the youngest son is a position of good fortune.”

“I've wondered if Trent shares His Grace's point of view.” Darius said, relinquishing the jug again. “How soon do you want to get busy on Mrs. FitzEngle's addition?”

“As soon as the roof is done. Probably another two weeks or so, and I will prevail on the Belmonts to invite her for a weeklong visit. If the weather cooperates and we plan well in advance, we should be able to get it done in a few days.”

Val repacked the hampers and left Darius muttering numbers under his breath, his pencil scratching across the page nineteen to the dozen.

The hamper in Val's right hand he lifted without difficulty. His left hand, however, protested its burden vociferously all the way down the stairs. A morning spent laying the terrace slates had left the appendage sore, the redness and swelling spread back to the third finger, and Val's temper ratchetting up, as well.

Ellen, blast the woman, had been right: Resting the hand
completely
apparently had a salubrious effect. Working it, no matter how mundane the task, aggravated the condition. Val eyed the manor house, deciding to forego his plan to spend the afternoon with the masons on the roof, and turned to make his way through the home wood.

He emerged from the woods at the back of Ellen's property and scanned her yard. In the heat of the day she was toiling over her beds, her floppy hat the only part of her visible as she knelt among her flowers. Val stood at the edge of the trees, watching silently, letting the peace and quiet of the scene seep into his bones. Through the trees he could still hear the occasional shout from workers on the roof of the manor, the swing of a hammer, the clatter of a board being dropped into place.

In Ellen's gardens, the sounds were a distant, mundane chorus, detached, from another sphere entirely. The scent of honeysuckle was more real than those sounds or the industry producing them.

She looked up, like a grazing animal looks up when sensing a possible intruder to its meadow. Val walked forward out of the shadows, knowing without being told she'd hate being spied on. Fear it and resent it.

“Good day.” He smiled at her as she rose, seeing she was once again barefoot and back in one of her old dresses. Her hair was in its customary braid, and old gloves covered both hands.

She returned his smile and Val let himself enjoy the sensation of physical warmth it bestowed on him. “Mr. Windham. I hope you've had a pleasant morning.”

“I most assuredly have not.” Val's smile faded slightly. “Soames was, as usual, late with his deliveries, Darius is in a brown study about something to do with his brother, the Visigoths discovered the cobbler, and my hand hurts.”

“Come along.” She pulled off her gloves and held out a hand to him.

“I am to be taken to the woodshed for a thrashing?” Val asked as he linked his fingers with hers.

“You should be. You no doubt spent the morning mending stone walls, laying slate, unloading wagons, and entirely undoing all the benefit you gained resting over the weekend. You are stubborn, sir, but I did not take you for stupid.”

“That smarts a bit, Ellen.” Val peered at her, trying to ascertain if she were truly angry.

“Oh, don't mind me.” Ellen sighed gustily. “I shouldn't complain. Your excesses give me an excuse to get out of the sun and to hold hands with a handsome fellow, don't they?”

She retrieved her tin of salve from a pocket and tugged him back across the yard to where the stream at the edge of her property ran next to a single willow. Pausing to part the hanging fronds of green, she led Val to a bench in the shade, one sporting both pillows and an old blanket.

“Come, naughty man.” She sat on the bench. “Lend a hand.” Val complied, bracing himself for a lecture when she saw the damage he'd done in a single morning.

“You must be in a desperate tear to finish your house,” she remarked, opening her tin and frowning at his hand. “You should be ashamed of yourself.”

“Ellen?”

“Hmm?”

“Could we just now not take too seriously to task one Valentine Forsythe Windham?” He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. “It's a pretty day, the morning was… disappointing, and I would enjoy this respite with you.”

She fell silent, and he let out a sigh of relief. Her hands on him were gentle but thorough, working all over his palm, fingers, and knuckles, up his wrist and forearm, and then simply clasping his hand between her two. The stream gurgled, the breeze soughed, a faint buzz of insects came from the gardens, and Val felt a pleasant lassitude replacing his earlier ire.

“You've worked magic,” he said, opening his eyes. Beside him, Ellen's expression was grave, uncharacteristically devoid of the special lightness he associated with her. “What's on your mind, Ellen FitzEngle? You look most serious.”

“I get in these moods.” She smiled at him, though there was a forced quality to it.

“Broody.” Val nodded. “All the Windham men are prone to it. Maybe you are tired? We were up early this morning, and I know I could use a nap. Shall we?” He stood and grabbed the blanket folded over the back of the bench. “If we spread it here, nobody will know Val Windham, Slave Driver and Scourge of the Huns, has caught forty winks with his pretty neighbor.” He flipped the blanket out before Ellen could argue then extended a hand to her.

“Just forty winks,” she allowed, glancing around as if to make sure of their privacy then lowering herself to the blanket.

“Twenty apiece,” Val replied solemnly then lowered himself to the blanket and began unlacing his boots. “Getting up at first light and abusing my hand all morning is tiring work. I can't imagine taming your own jungle is exactly restful, either.”

“It is, actually.” Ellen regarded him as he popped up and retrieved a pillow from the bench to stuff behind his head. He stretched out on her blanket and smiled up at her where she sat beside him.

“This is a friendly forty winks, Mrs. FitzEngle.” He snagged her wrist. “Join me.”

She regarded him where he lay.

“Ellen.” The teasing tone in Val's voice faded. “I will not ravish you in broad daylight unless you ask it of me, though I would hold you.”

She nodded uncertainly and gingerly lowered herself beside him, flat on her back.

“You're out of practice,” Val observed, rolling to his side. “We must correct this state of affairs if we're to get our winks.” Before she could protest, he arranged her so she was on her side as well, his body curved around hers, her head resting on his bicep, his arm tucking her back against him.

“The benefit of this position,” his said, speaking very close to her ear, “is that I cannot behold your lovely face if you want to confide secrets, you see? I am close enough to hear you whisper, but you have a little privacy, as well. So confide away, and I'll just cuddle up and perhaps even drift off.”

“You would drift off while I'm confiding?”

“I would allow you the fiction. It's one of the rules of gentlemanly conduct owed on summer days to napping companions.” His arm was loosely draped over her middle so he could sense the tension in her. “I can hear your thoughts turning like a mill wheel. Let your mind rest too, Ellen.”

“I am unused to this friendly napping.”

“You and your baron never stole off for an afternoon nap?” Val asked, his fingers tracing the length of her arm. “Never kidnapped each other for a picnic on a pretty day?”

“We did not.” Ellen sighed as his fingers stroked over her arm again. “He occasionally took tea with me, though, and we often visited at the end of the day.”

But, Val concluded with some satisfaction, they did not visit in bed or on blankets or with their clothes off. Ellen had much to learn about napping. His right hand drifted up to her shoulder, where he experimentally squeezed at the muscles joining her neck to her back.

“Blazes,” he whispered, “you are strong. Relax, Ellen.” His right hand was more than competent to knead at her tense muscles, and when he heard her sigh and felt her relax, he realized he'd found the way to stop her mill wheel from spinning so relentlessly.