The Voyage (26 page)

Chapter 93

Anna missed Benny’s funeral because the doctor refused to release her from the hospital. But as soon as she was released, she went back to work. She preferred to be busy rather than sitting at home with her memories. However, everything around her reminded her of Benny: the counter at Gimbels where he would drop by to say hello, or have flowers delivered, the break room where he came meet with employees after the union had been established. Bette took great care not to mention Benny, knowing how much it would hurt Anna. Alice and Anna had not spoken since the Christmas party, but when Anna saw Alice one day in the break room, Alice looked as heartbroken as Anna felt.

Wera convinced Anna to move in with her.

“It’s better you shouldn’t live all alone. We’ll wait together for mail from our husbands. And why should we pay rent for two places when we can pay for just one?”

Anna nodded. “Yes, all right.” It would be better not to spend the evenings sitting on the same sofa she’d sat on with Benny, or sleeping in the same bed where they had once made love.

Together, Wera and Anna moved Anna’s personal items into Wera’s apartment. Anna did not have a private room, although Wera offered her the bedroom. Anna insisted on sleeping on the sofa in the living room. Still, Wera made an effort to give Anna plenty of privacy. And the two women got along well. For Anna, it came as a relief not to open the door after work to a dark and empty apartment.

Still, a day never passed that Anna didn’t cry when something brought back a memory of Benny. And a day never went by that she didn’t think of Alex, worry about him, and wonder if he was safe, alive. She fought thoughts of the baby that crept into her mind, but they returned at night in dreams. Silver-gray hair began to take over Anna’s luxurious dark color, and although she still dressed well, and had an innate sense of style, she began to look weathered, tired, and worn.

Before Anna had left the hospital, the doctor had come into her room, and as gently as he could he told her that she would never have a child. In fact, after what happened, he said that she was lucky to be alive.  She felt that she got what she deserved.  After what she did, she didn’t deserve to be a mother. Often, when she was alone, those words came back to her, and a bitter frown came over her face. ”Lucky? The last thing I am is lucky,” she thought.

Wera tried to ease Anna’s guilt and pain, but Anna seemed to be adamant on self-punishment. Her self-hatred continued to grow and Wera worried about her constantly. After what Anna had done, Wera did not trust her not to take her own life.

As she rode home on the subway one Monday afternoon, Anna made a decision. It had become too difficult to continue working at Gimbels. The time had come to leave and find another position. She watched the buildings fly by outside the window as she considered applying for a job in the diamond district.  She spoke fluent Yiddish, so she could get along well there. But, Anna had changed; her inner strength and excitement for life had left her. Most of the time she came home from work just longing to be left alone, to go to sleep. But Wera forced her to eat. She’d push the food around to please her friend, then lie down and close her eyes and try to fight off all of the terrible thoughts that eventually came anyway.

The tenement where Anna and Wera lived stood over two small retail stores. On one side a shoemaker, and the other a used-clothing store. Because of the rationing of shoes, the shoemaker had gotten very busy. Anna thought he might need help.  It would be a lot easier to walk downstairs and go to work instead of taking the subway all the way into town. Where she had once thrived on the excitement of the big department stores, she now found them overwhelming. 

Anna smoothed her hair down with her hands and walked inside.

“May I help you?” The shoemaker sat on a bench covered with old leather shoes, both men’s and women’s, and an array of tools, his two sons working beside him.

“I was wondering if you needed any help.”

“No, I’m sorry, miss. I have my two boys to help me here. Try next door. The woman next door is all alone; maybe she’ll need help.”

“Thank you,” Anna said.

Anna went into the clothing store. It had a musty smell, like an old closet. A woman with short, curly red hair and a thick waist came up to the front.

“Hello, miss. Please have a look around.”

“I was wondering if you need any help,” Anna asked. She glanced around quickly; the shop was a mess, clothing on chairs, tossed about on the counters. Nothing looked clean.

“You mean like a worker to help me here in the store?”

“Yes, I need a job,”Anna said.

The woman looked Anna up and down.

“Hmm… You sure do look nice. You make a nice impression. I can’t pay much, but if you want a job. I can hire you.”

“Yes, I want a job very badly.”

“You can start tomorrow?”

“Yes...”

Chapter 94

Alex crouched under a bridge, listening to the heavy footsteps as a troop of enemy soldiers marched over his head. He had no idea how he’d gotten separated from his platoon. When they’d landed on Omaha Beach, he’d started running, and he hadn’t stopped until the gunfire was far in the distance. In fact, he’d run until he got a stitch in his side so painful that it forced him to stop. Now he wandered somewhere in France, alone, searching for any Allies. For years Alex had battled depression, and considered suicide, but when death looked him in the eyes, his survival instinct had kicked in and he found that he had a stronger will to live than he’d ever imagined. 

Before the ship had landed at Normandy, he’d heard a rumor that a shipment of nurses would follow. He wondered if Nelly had been among them. The thought of her coming through Omaha Beach sent shivers up his spine. It had been by far the most terrifying experience of his life, and he would never forget it. 

He tried to find a good hiding place where he could sleep during the day, then wait and begin moving again after sundown, when he was sure that the Germans had passed. He lay on a rock under the bridge and closed his eyes, but he couldn’t sleep. So he got up and began to move again.

Anna… If only he could get a letter to Anna to let her know he was alive and unharmed. If he ever found his way to safety, he would send her a letter as soon as he could. Alex looked up at the sky and wondered if Anna were looking at the stars too. If the army had told her that he’d gone missing she would be worried sick, and there was nothing he could do to protect her. All he could do was go forward and hope that somehow he would someday find his way home.

Chapter 95

Gnawing hunger and terrible thirst drove Alex to enter a small village in the darkest hour of the night, where he took the risk of being captured. He needed food and water to survive. Hiding in the shadows, he navigated the narrow cobblestone streets. Nazi flags hung from the buildings, moving softly in the breeze alongside pictures of Hitler. From where he stood, he could see a general store with a plate glass window and cans of food on the shelves. The streets were deserted. Alex picked up a rock and threw it at the window, but the window only cracked. He tried again, but still could not shatter the glass.  He walked away, dejected.

Alex left the village and began walking through the countryside. When he grew too tired to continue, he hid in the safety of a forest, leaned against a tree, and fell asleep. 

When he awakened, Alex started walking. He assumed he was headed inland, but had no idea what direction. Alex heard the rumble of a vehicle and hid behind a thick patch of bushes, his heart racing as a jeep filled with
Wehrmacht
soldiers rumbled by him.  From where he crouched, he could hear them singing old German folk songs, songs he remembered from his childhood. How was it that Germany had turned on the Jews the way that they had? Growing up, Alex had always considered himself a German first, then a Jew. But he’d learned that no matter what country he lived in, he was a Jew first.  That was the way the world saw him, and so it was the way he must see himself.

A half-mile up the road Alex came upon a barn.  Looking in every direction to see if anyone was around, Alex pushed on the heavy wooden door and found it unlocked. He entered. A cow stood, its big soft brown eyes staring at him. He’d never milked a cow, but he must try. He pulled at the teats, but nothing happened. The cow let out a bellow that broke the silence, startling him. But he had to try again, still nothing. Alex searched the barn for food, a carrot, or potato, anything.  But not even a morsel of food was in the barn. A fat-bodied insect walked across the hay. Alex caught it and forced himself to eat it, almost vomiting as he felt the wings crunch under his teeth.  Then he sat down, leaning against the side of the barn, his head in his hands. 

“Who are you?” A young girl, her dark hair in a braided bun, had entered so quietly that Alex had not heard her. She spoke in French.

Alex knew a little French. He’d studied it years ago when he was in school. “I am an American soldier,” he said, unsure of how this information would be received. There was no way to know if this family were Nazi sympathizers.

“Why are you here?” she asked, putting her hands on her hips.

“I was separated from my troop.”

Cocking her head to a side, she studied him for a moment.

“Come into the house, hurry. The Germans come around here all the time. If they find you they’ll shoot you,” she said.

Alex followed the girl. She led him up to a wooden farmhouse, badly in need of care. The paint had chipped and Alex could see the structure had once been white, but now had turned grey with age.

“Come on,” she said as she opened a panel in the back of the house, revealing a hidden door.

He stood there for a moment, wondering if he should follow or run. This could be a trap.

“Don’t just stand there. Come on…”

Alex needed food, water...

She pulled at his shirtsleeve, and he followed her inside.

Chapter 96

“Chantel, who is this?”  A man in his early twenties stood in the kitchen when they entered.

“An American. I found him in the barn.”

“You’re an American?”

Alex nodded.

“Welcome. You look hungry. Chantel, give him some food.”

“I am Marc, and this is my sister, Chantel.” Another man a few years younger with a handsome face, a cleft chin and a crooked nose entered. “This is our brother, Luc.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet all of you, I’m Alex.”

Luc pushed Alex against the wall. “Why do you speak French with a German accent? Are you a Nazi spy?”

“A spy?”  Marc said and he came forward. Both men surrounded Alex.

“I am an American. I swear it.”

“With a German accent?” Marc said. Then, turning to Luc, “I don’t trust him.”

Chapter 97

It was easier to walk down the stairs and go to work right outside of her apartment than to take the subway downtown. Anna had once loved to work downtown, with the tall buildings that were being erected, the well-dressed business people, and the sophisticated women shoppers. But now, everything in the city brought back memories of Benny. For that reason she’d not even considered applying to Macy’s. Sarah’s Second-Hand Store proved to be a godsend. Sarah appreciated Anna’s ability to sell, and she also enjoyed the lunches Wera brought down to the store for them a few days a week.  In turn, Sarah was kind to Anna, paying her well, and allowing her to sit down between customers. Gimbels had never allowed that. Sarah also offered sewing jobs to Wera when better-made clothing came in to the shop in need of repair.

“It will sell better if you fix the tear on the seam,” Sarah said. She paid Wera a fair wage, and Wera was happy to stay busy.

Anna quickly developed a clientele, a following of sorts who enjoyed her excellent taste and her expert help in their fashion choices.  Working at Gimbels had taught Anna to apply cosmetics properly. She wore mascara, lipstick, rouge, and powder, all perfectly applied.  The women customers often asked her to help them with makeup, which gave Sarah an idea.

“What if we offered make up for sale, with lessons on how to use it? You could teach the women. Maybe we could buy the stuff at the five-and-dime, then after that we’d add a percentage, which we could split half-and-half. What do you think, Anna?”

“Sure, I think it’s a wonderful idea.”

“You’ll have to go downtown and get the makeup because I don’t know what to buy.”

“How much makeup do you think we should get?”

“
Oy
, I have no idea. I wouldn’t want to get stuck for all that money.”

“No, I can understand.”

“Should we take a poll and ask the customers how many of them would be interested?”

“Yes, that’s a good idea.”

Over the next several weeks, the women asked every customer if they would be interested in purchasing and learning to apply cosmetics. Almost all of them said yes!  Anna and Sarah were ecstatic. For Anna the new business venture was a perfect distraction from her misery.  She would go into town and buy products she felt would sell, and then Sarah would book appointments for her to teach women, sometimes in groups, other times individually. With the men overseas, many women had entered the workforce. They wanted to look nice, polished and professional. 

Wera offered to come down and help to straighten up the store so that they could set up displays and make the cosmetics attractive.  Sarah loved the idea and the three women redesigned the old second hand store into a resale boutique.

The new venture began slowly, with only one appointment the first week, and another the second. Sarah began to worry that their investment in the cosmetics had been a mistake, but by the end of the month Anna had between three and four appointments a day. They sold out of their stock in a week and Anna needed to buy more.

“I wonder how expensive it would be for us to develop our own line,” Anna asked.

“We should look into it,” Sarah agreed. “This could be even more profitable then the clothes.”

However, the clothing sold in conjunction with the cosmetics. Sarah’s little store had gone from a lower-income shop to a specialized boutique carrying better resalable items for the fashion-conscious woman. They even changed the name to “Sarah’s Gently-Used Fashions.”

Anna bought candles to cover the musty smell. And the business began to thrive.