The Voyage (32 page)

Chapter 116

On June 6, 1939, the
MS St. Louis
had run out of options. They were almost out of fuel and food, so the captain was forced to turn the ship around and head back to Europe.

The passengers gave up hope of ever finding a safe harbor. The mood on the ship was one of impending doom. The time had come to face the fact that soon they would be back in Germany, under the rule of the Third Reich, and at the mercy of a heartless madman who hated them.

The band played; the captain insisted that the music go on in an effort to keep up morale, but no one danced.  At mealtime the dining room was half full, and now very few people went up on deck to take walks or sit and enjoy the sunshine. Instead, they stayed alone in their staterooms, contemplating the future. 

Viktor began making plans. His mind raced with constant plotting, assessing the danger of different strategies.  He’d already arranged for Olof to go forward with plans of securing papers for Elke as soon as the ship landed, if he could only be sure that nobody would check the engine room too closely when the ship docked. He’d thought of all of the possible hiding places on board and decided that the engine room was the safest. But even so, there were no guarantees.

Viktor could not eat or sleep. Tthe plan was far from foolproof, and anything could happen, anything could go wrong.  And if it did, Elke would be in even greater danger than she would if she cooperated with the authorities, In fact, she might be shot on the spot. He’d gladly take the risk himself, but he couldn’t bear to think of what might happen to Elke if all this failed. He found it difficult to concentrate on his work that morning in the radio room. He felt as if he might jump out of his skin with anxiety when a message came in on the wireless. He had to read it twice to believe the words that stood in black ink upon the white page.

It was from the American Joint Jewish Distribution Committee.

It is with delight that we send you the following information.  After an exhaustive search, we have found homes for the passengers of the
MS St. Louis
. Please follow these instructions: the St. Louis is expected to dock in Antwerp, Belgium, where the passengers will be divided as follows: Belgium has agreed to take 214, The Netherlands 181, France 224, and Great Britain 287.

Although he wanted to dash up to Elke’s room and tell her right away, Viktor knew that he must first deliver the news to the captain, who he knew would be relieved beyond measure.

Viktor found Captain Schroder in his office, head in hand. The captain had refused food for the last two days and the crew had begun to worry about him. Schroder looked up, his brow wrinkled and his eyes lined with red veins, as Viktor entered the room, forgetting to knock.

“Yes, what did you want Mr. Hahn?”

“I ‘m sorry, sir, I should have knocked before entering your office; however I have an important message for you.” Viktor handed the captain the paper and waited.

A light seemed to shine from Captain Schroder’s face as he read the words. By the time he’d finished he looked as if he’d grown younger by twenty years. Tears fell from his eyes.

“Praise God,” Captain Schroder said, gripping the note in his hand. “Praise God…”

Chapter 117

Viktor took the stairs two at a time up to Elke’s cabin. He knocked and she opened the door.

“You’ve finished work so early?”

“Can you speak French?” he asked, breathless with excitement.

“What? Why?”

“Can you?”

“Well, maybe a little. Not much… Why?”

“Perhaps it is best if you go to Belgium, to Luxembourg, where they speak fluent German. That way you won’t have a language problem. Yes, I think so. You will go to Luxembourg. I will arrange it, and then you will wait for me there…”

“What? What are you talking about? Slow down, Viktor. I don’t understand.”

“Yes, yes. Let me explain...”

He told her about the message from the Joint Commission. Then he explained his plan. Elke would leave the ship in Antwerp and take the train to Belgium. He would try to stay with her for a few days if possible, and then give her all the money he could.  As a crewmember, he must complete the voyage and sail with the
St. Louis
back to Germany. There he would wait while Olof drew up the papers that would give Elke her new identity as a Gentile.  As soon as he had the papers, he would return to Belgium where they would marry and then either go back to Germany or live in Belgium as an Aryan couple.

“But if we are living in Belgium I won’t need a new identity. I don’t think that the anti-Semitism is a strong there as it is in Germany.”

“This may very well be true. But, if we don’t have papers made up for you, it will not be safe for us to return to Germany to see my family.  If I am unable to have the papers made up, I will be forced to lose contact with my family forever.  I want to be able to go home. I want you to know my mother, father and brother. I love them. They are good people, Elke, and they will love you as much as I do.”

“You’re right. It would be best this way, if it all works out. Where are we going to land, and how soon do you think we will be there?”

“It will all work out. I have faith. The plan is to land in Antwerp. The captain will try to get there quickly because we are almost out of food.”

Viktor took Elke into his arms. She felt his heart pounding though his shirt against her chest. She knew he was afraid. She was afraid too, but she was also grateful for the love of this man she hardly believed she deserved.

Chapter 118

On the seventeenth of June the
MS St. Louis
docked in the port of Antwerp, Belgium. The passengers, sea weary but grateful to be alive, disembarked from the ship. They walked in lines onto the dock, their eyes wide with anticipation and disbelief. 

Upon Viktor’s request, the captain granted his leave of absence for three days while the ship restocked before sailing for Germany. On that same sun-kissed afternoon, Viktor and Elke took the train to Luxemburg. Outside the window, the scenery exploded into summer colors, wildflowers and quaint little cottages slipped by as they held hands like an ordinary couple on an afternoon excursion. Viktor sat beside Elke with his golden hair, tanned skin, and white uniform. She could not help but swell with pride as she saw the other girls on board give Viktor appraising glances. Viktor saw Elke peek at a group of young women who’d been smiling across the aisle at him. He’d didn’t return the smile; he wanted to assure Elke that he had no interest in other women, so he squeezed her hand and whispered in her ear.

“I’m all yours, only yours, until the day I die.”

What had she done to deserve such happiness? When she had boarded the
MS St. Louis
, so many weeks ago, she’d never in her wildest dreams imagined that she might find such joy. Elke turned to Viktor and touched his cheek gently with her fingers.

“I love you too,” she said.

Chapter 119

It was almost dinnertime when they arrived in Luxemburg. It had been a long day and neither had eaten since breakfast. They stopped at a café for a bowl of soup and thick slices of grainy bread. Sitting outside at a table under an umbrella, Elke and Viktor ate quickly; they wanted to find a flat before sunset. Most of the places that they looked at were either too expensive or too rundown. By nightfall it became apparent they would be forced to use some of the money that they’d saved to stay in a hotel.  Viktor entered a bakery shop that was closing and asked the owner where he might find a hotel. The owner, a thick man with hanging jowls covered in perspiration, gave them directions.

“Go out the door and turn left. Then you will walk for about five blocks,” the baker said.

Viktor bought a loaf of bread and they left.

When they arrived, a young girl with light blonde hair and golden eyes sat at the reception desk sorting papers. When she heard the customers enter she looked up and smiled at them.

“Can I help you?”

“My wife and I need a room for the night.”

“Very good. Let me see what I have available.”

“By the way, by any chance, do you happen to know of any nice, reasonably-priced apartments for rent near here?”Viktor asked. The girl looked close in age to Elke and seemed as if she might understand. “You see, I need a safe place for my wife to stay. I am going to be shipping out to sea in a few days and it might be a while before I return.”

“Well, I don’t know of any apartments, but we are looking for a housekeeper for the hotel and the job comes with a free room. I don’t know if your wife would be interested.”

“My wife will not be a maid.” Viktor was appalled.

“I don’t mind. I would be very interested.  In fact, it would give me something to do,” Elke said, turning to look at Viktor.

“I don’t know…” he said shaking his head and looking around at the modest but tastefully decorated hotel lobby.

“Why don’t we get a room and talk about it?” Elke said.

“All right.” Viktor sounded skeptical

“Can we let you know in the morning?” Elke asked.

“Of course,” the girl said. “By the way, I’m Lara.”

“I’m Elke.”

Viktor hated the idea of Elke cleaning rooms, scrubbing toilets, and making beds where other couples had made love, but he did like the idea that at least she might have a friend in this girl, someone to talk with or share a meal. It might help to alleviate the loneliness until he returned.

Lara handed the room key to Viktor, and he and Elke went to their room.

It was a simple room, not fancy, but clean, with a well-maintained bathroom right down the hall where they both took turns cleaning up.

When Elke returned to the room, Viktor sat in a wooden chair at a small desk in front of the window eating a slice of the bread he’d bought.

“Want some?”

“No, thank you.” She smiled.

Viktor dropped the bread on the desk and stood up. He kissed Elke and lifted her face so that their eyes met.

“Talk to me. Tell me what you want.  Do you want to work here until I get back?”

“I think that it would be a good idea. I know you have some savings and so do I, but this will help us to save what money we have in case we need it later. It will also be good for me to be around other people instead of staying alone day after day in a flat somewhere.”

He nodded. It wasn’t what he wanted for her, not by far, but he did agree that the waiting would be less nerve-racking if she were to have something to fill her time and people to talk with. 

“I will agree to this. I don’t like it, but I don’t know what else to do right now. Now Elke, listen to me, this is very important,” he said, sitting down and taking her hand until she sat beside him.

“Go on. I’m listening.”

“You must remember that no one is to know your true identity. You cannot tell anyone our plans. We still don’t know whom we can trust. You must say that you are a German woman, visiting Belgium for a while until your husband returns from a voyage. You cannot ever let them know that you are Jewish.”

“Yes, but there is no problem for Jews here in Belgium. The problem is in Germany.”

“Sweetheart, there are spies everywhere. I am buying illegal papers. This is a dangerous operation. I can’t take any risks, even here in Belgium. Do you understand? If anyone finds out what we are doing we could find ourselves in more trouble than I care to think about.”

Elke nodded. She would do as he asked. But she wanted to live in Belgium, never to return to Germany at least not to live. Because she loved him, Elke would agree to visit his family, but only for short periods of time. Germany had too many ugly memories and too many dangers for her as a Jew. She wanted to leave everything that had to do with that country of her birth in her past.

Viktor agreed.

That night they lay in each other’s arms, spent from the day followed by a brief but tender hour of lovemaking.

“Viktor?”

“Yes, my love…”

“Are you sure that this is what you want? You are getting involved in something that you don’t need to be drawn into. All you have to do is go back home and your worries are gone.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, leave me here in Belgium. I will find a way to get by. If you go back to Germany and to your family, you will be safe. I feel very guilty about you getting mixed up in all of this, with the illegal papers and me being Jewish… It’s just dangerous for you.”

He got up on one elbow and looked into her eyes.

“I couldn’t leave you now even if I wanted to, and I don’t. You are my love, the other half of me. Before we met, I never knew what it meant to truly love another person. I will not leave you here in Belgium. Whatever the danger, for me, it’s worth the risk to be your husband.”

She put her arms around him and held him tight, her mind spinning. She’d recently made a discovery, but she could not bear to tell him, not here, not now. Not when everything felt so beautiful, so perfect.