The Wall of Winnipeg and Me (15 page)

“Oh, sure. Sure. My bad. What can I get you?” the guy asked, blushing.

I placed my order, quickly looking down to make sure I was texting the right person, and typed out a quick message.

I sent the man next to me before handing over my card.

The guy cast another glance at Aiden while he swiped it hastily, nervously. I thanked him when he gave it back, but he was back to not paying any attention to me; he was still staring at Aiden, and on closer inspection, I realized the poor guy’s hands were shaking.

“Thanks,” I mumbled one more time as I took my cup and moved aside to put coffee and creamer in it. Aiden shifted over along with me, seeming to be in his own little world, oblivious to the text message I’d sent him, or maybe just deciding to ignore the phone I knew he usually kept on vibrate in his pocket. It was right then that I noticed the people in line behind us were all staring at him.

I couldn’t blame them. He didn’t exactly give off a welcoming vibe, standing there with his backpack on both shoulders, his arms crossed over his chest with my bag resting at his feet while he waited on me. Then I realized they were glancing at me too. Measuring me. Seeing who was with the guy the employee was freaking out about.

Just me.

T
he nerves
and the urge to throw up didn’t go anywhere. I was nauseous the entire flight to Vegas. Aiden said maybe five words to me before he put his head against the window and fell asleep, which wasn’t a bad thing, considering I was stuck in my own world of denial and terror. I kept telling myself everything was fine, but it didn’t feel like it. If Aiden was battling any nerves or insecurity, he didn’t let it show as we walked out of the airport and caught a cab to our hotel off the Strip. We checked in and made our way up the elevator to the suite.

He swiped the card through the door and let me in first.

I had to let out a whistle as I took in the clean, contemporary furnishings. I’d forgotten how nice this hotel was and it made me feel a little guilty. When I was a kid, we hadn’t travelled much, mostly because my mom never had the money, much less the time or inclination, to take us anywhere. But on the rare occasion that Diana’s parents invited me to go along with them on a trip, we would stay at the really cheap motels on the side of the road that looked like something out of a horror movie, and we’d all crammed in to a room—or two, if her parents could swing it.

And I always had a good time, even more so if the motel had a pool.

Yet here I was at this five-star hotel, staying with a man who was a millionaire. I’d paid the rate for the room with his card. I was well aware of how much everything cost. I knew that no one in my family, with the exception of my little brother, would ever stay in a place like this. And it made me feel slightly uncomfortable. Guilty. A little sad.

“You all right?” that gruff, low voice asked from behind me when I’d stopped just though the door.

I had to clear my throat and force myself to give him a nod and a smile, which was about as insincere as you could get. “Sure.”

Yeah, he read it on my face easily, his eyes swinging around the room in confusion. “You chose the hotel.” His tone was slightly accusing. “You don’t like it?”

“No.” I shook my head, now feeling like a dick on top of everything else. “I mean, of course I like it. This is the nicest place I’ve ever stayed.” That was saying a lot, because when I travelled with Aiden, we always stayed somewhere nice. “I was just thinking about how fancy it is, and how I never would have imagined when I was a kid that I could stay somewhere like this. That’s all.”

The fact I was staying here with Aiden, to marry him, just sent that nail straight home into my heart. Younger Vanessa, pre-twenty-six-year-old Vanessa, had no idea what she had in store for her.

There was a pause, and I swore we both looked over our shoulders to glance at each other. The tension between us was awkward and uncertain. The Wall of Winnipeg blinked those big brown eyes. “You could have invited your family if you really wanted to.”

“Oh, uh, no. It’s all right.” In hindsight, I realized I’d shot down his offer too fast. “I only keep in contact with my little brother, and he’s already back in school.”

Why was he looking at me so strange?

“I don’t…” Good grief, why was this flustering me so much? And why couldn’t I just shut up? “I only talk to my mom every once in a while and never my sisters. And my best friend works a lot.” I wrung my hands and finished up the spiel of stupidity. “I don’t have anyone else.”

Aiden stared at me for so long, I frowned. “You’re acting weird,” he stated so casually I almost ignored the actual words that had come out of his mouth.

“Excuse me?”

“You’re being weird with me,” Aiden repeated himself.

That had me slamming my mouth closed and my frown growing.

The man who didn’t keep things to himself kept on barreling through what he apparently felt he needed to say. “I told you I was sorry.”

Uh.

“Look, everything is fine—” I started to say before he cut me off with a shake of his head.

“It isn’t. You don’t smile anymore. You haven’t called me big guy or given me hell,” he stated.

Wait a second. I hadn’t, had I? And he’d noticed? The possibility that he’d noticed made me feel strange, almost uncomfortable. “I thought I annoyed you,” I mumbled, trying to figure out what was the right response and whether he was saying these things because he genuinely missed them or not.

“You do.” And there we went. “But I’m used to it now.”

Wait another second….

“You’ve never made me feel awkward before, but you look at me differently now. Like you don’t know me, or you don’t like me.” The fact he leveled an even gaze at me, without shame, without embarrassment, without playing games, hit me right in the solar plexus. “I get it if you’re still pissed, if you don’t think of me the way you used to, but I liked the way we were before,” he went on. With his face open and completely earnest, he only slightly made me feel bad for how obvious I’d been with my frustrations with him, especially since he seemed to not just notice, but also missed the way things had been despite going out of his way to ignore me for so long.

“I know.” I swallowed and bit the inside of my cheeks. “
I know
. Look, I’m just…” I shrugged. “We’ll be back to normal in no time, I’m sure. This has all just been a lot for me to handle, and I’m trying to get used to it. It’s hard for me to forgive people sometimes. I don’t know how to act around you any more, I guess.”

“The same way you used to,” he suggested evenly, as if it was the easiest answer in the world.

I swallowed, stuck between being stubborn and holding on to the fear and resentment I’d felt and unsure of how to move forward with this version of Aiden I was trying to get to know.

As if sensing I had no idea how to answer, he rolled his shoulders back and asked, “Other than that, you’re sure you’re fine?”

“Yes.”

“Positive?”

I nodded, letting out a breath that had somehow gotten stuck deep in the pit of my belly, bloating it with insecurity and anxiety and probably a dozen other things I wasn’t aware of. “Yeah. I, ah, changed my address on my bank statement a couple days ago. I’ll change my license as soon as I can,” I explained and suddenly felt a little awkward. “Are
you
sure you’re okay with all this? You’re sure you still want to be stuck with me for the next five years?”

That dark, almost caramel-colored gaze, landed on me, even, intense, determined. “Yes,” that smoke-wrapped voice replied effortlessly. “We need to go pick up the paperwork for the petition right after we sign the papers.”

Sign the papers
. We were back at it. I gulped. “Yeah. Okay.”

Something in my tone must have been apparent because he shook off that pinning focus, leveling a frown in my direction. “You’re not backing out on me.”

It occurred to me he wasn’t asking. He was telling. I was a little offended he’d even assume I would do that. “I’m not backing out on you. We’re here already. I wouldn’t do that.”

“I didn’t think you would, but I wanted to—”

What? Remind me? Make sure? “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. We’re doing this,” I assured him.

It took him a moment to nod. “I know we’re rushing into it, but this is the only chance we’ll have. Next month is going to get busier for me.”

“
Aiden
, I know. I understand. That’s why I’m here, isn’t it? It’s fine. I have things to do, too.” Without thinking about it, I reached over and touched his bare forearm lightly. “I’m not going to disappear on you in the middle of the night. I always go through with my promises, all right? The only place I’m going soon is to El Paso next month for a weekend, but I’ll be back after a few days. I’ll be around in two years, and I’ll still be here three years after that. I don’t take my word lightly.”

Something flashed across his eyes so briefly it was there in one blink and gone the next.

Feeling a little shy, I pulled my hand back and smiled up at him, feeling something loosen up inside of me. “Look, I guess I haven’t completely gotten over what happened, even though I know you’re sorry. I know what it’s like for someone to do something unforgivable, and it’s unfair for me to take it out on you, okay? I’m sure I’ll be back to flipping you off in no time. Don’t worry.”

He nodded slowly, his features never loosening up enough to be considered relaxed.

“Everything will work itself out. I know you’re sorry.” I made myself shrug and let out a long, exhale that made me feel like I lost a few pounds. “I’m grateful for everything, but I need to go pee right now. Come get me when you’re ready to leave.”

I smiled at him before I hightailed it to the bathroom in the bedroom on the right, needing a minute to myself. Inside, I leaned against the door and let out a choppy exhale. What was I doing?

Everything would be fine, I figured as I used the bathroom and then headed into the bedroom.

It was only five-ish in the afternoon thanks to the time change, but knowing Aiden, he’d want to get
the paperwork
signed and over with as quickly as possible. So I wasn’t surprised when he knocked on the open door connecting my room to the living area and raised his eyebrows when he found me sitting in the middle of the bed, trying to rein in the eighty different emotions battling their way through my nerves.

I was doing this. I was really fucking doing this. I was getting married.

And if that wasn’t enough, apparently Aiden missed me giving him shit. Who would have thought?

But most importantly, I was about to marry Aiden Graves.

I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry. Or both.

“You want to go get this over with?” he asked from his spot at the doorway.

Get this over with
.

That decided it. It broke me.

I couldn’t help it, I face-planted on the bed. It was either crying or laughing, and I was going to go with the latter so I wouldn’t lose it over Mr. Romance. “Sure. I don’t have anything else to do,” I snorted, muffled by the comforter.
I was about to go commit a felony.
Little Vanessa had no idea what she would be capable of as an adult.

“Why are you laughing?” His question reached me as I lost it even more.

It took a second for me to get it together, but eventually, I managed to sit up and rub my hand over the side of my face as I let out a shaky, nervous smile. He, on the other hand, was standing there looking at me like I’d lost my mind. “You make it sound like we’re having to go to the DPS to get your license renewed, and you don’t want to go.” I scooted off the edge of the bed and stood up, stretching my jaw from how hard I’d cracked up. “Do you know where you want to do this?”

He tipped that bearded chin down. “There’s a chapel two blocks away from here.”

I nodded, that familiar sense of anxiety fluttering through my chest once more. “Okay.” I took in the clothes he was still wearing from the flight. “Let me change my shirt at least.” He wasn’t dressed up. Why should I be?

He cast a glance at the T-shirt I had on and backed out.

I changed my into the slightly dressier work blouse I’d worn in front of him plenty of times in the past and met him in the living room. He was still in his hoodie and V-neck, looking handsome and casual at the same time. Show-off. That small medallion peeking at the apex of the cut of his shirt was what caught my eye the most though.

I followed after the big guy. We walked through the lobby and out into the hot Vegas sun. He’d said the chapel was only two blocks away, but they felt like the longest blocks of my life. I’d been to Vegas two other times in the past, but it had always been with him for work, so I hadn’t gotten a chance to walk around and check it out. Most of my sightseeing had been done through the window of whatever car we were travelling in.

During the day, it didn’t look anything like it did at night. I could see Aiden just a foot or two ahead, but I was too busy looking around at the different shops and restaurants to put in much effort to keep an eye on him. Sure enough, exactly two blocks away from our hotel, he stopped in front of a little white chapel that I was pretty sure I’d seen in movies before.

“Are you ready?” The Wall of Winnipeg asked like we were heading for battle.

No.

I wasn’t, but as I looked at Aiden’s hard face and thought about how badly he wanted to live in the U.S. without worrying about his visa, how could I have told him no? Okay, I could have, but that huge part of me that was 100 percent pushover understood. I knew what it was like to not want to live somewhere.

Good-bye to the next five years of my life.

“Yes,” I finally answered. “We need pictures. The Immigration official is going to ask for them at your interview.”

The corners of his mouth moved in a way that was as much of a smile as I’d ever witnessed on him, and might ever see. My nerves were like live wires and my stomach hurt, but it seemed like I was doing the right thing.

“What? I looked it up. I want to be prepared.” To not go to jail and get what had been promised to me. And wasn’t that what Aiden should have realized? I was going off his word, relying on him to go through with what he’d promised me at the end of this upcoming journey. Hell, when we divorced, I could ask him for half of everything he owned. Obviously, he had to trust me enough to know I would never do something like that.