The Wandering Caravan (12 page)

“Nothing…”

He wrapped his arm around me and held me close. “Talk to me.”

He could see right through me. “I know I’ve gained weight…”

“You’re perfect.”

“But I…”

“Shut up. You’re perfect.”

My eyes started to water. “Everyone keeps asking me if I’m pregnant. I didn’t realize it was this bad. I guess I just ate a lot on our honeymoon and have been eating out a lot during the move.”

He shook his head slightly. “You gained a few pounds. So what? It’s not a big deal.”

“I just…don’t feel attractive.”

“I’ll make you feel attractive,” he said as he moved on top of me.

“I’ll start running tomorrow. I don’t want to be fat.”

“You aren’t fat,” he said firmly. “You’re sexy as hell.”

“You’re just saying that…”

He grabbed my hand and wrapped it around his cock. “You think I’d be this hard up if you weren’t gorgeous? I’ve been thinking about fucking you all day. No one else—just you.”

“Okay…”

He kissed my forehead. “I hate to ask, but are you sure you aren’t pregnant?”

I nodded. “I checked twice.”

He sighed. “Okay.”

“What if I was?”

He gave me a serious look. “I’d be very happy.”

“You would?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“It’s a little soon.”

He kissed my nose. “I’m happy no matter what happens. We can have six kids or none at all. As long as I’m with you, my life is good.”

Sean was so sweet. And it meant the world that he was only sweet to me.

“I wanted to fuck you, but now I need to make love to you.” He pressed his lips to mine and separated my legs. He pulled the blanket down so he could see me. I only saw love and desire in his eyes when he looked at me. He moved inside me deep and fast. We made love for a long time, longer than usual. My soul touched his, and his touched mine. Nothing else mattered.

13

Ryan

Janice was acting weird all day.

When we got to the apartment and start unpacking, she was quiet and hardly looked at me. Last night, everything was fine. She and I had mind-blowing sex. I tried to replay the morning in my head but I couldn’t think of what I did to offend her. And Janice wasn’t the type of girl to downplay her feelings. If she was upset, she told me.

“Baby, everything okay?”

She folded her clothes and placed them in the drawer. “Yeah.” She didn’t look at me.

I knew something was up.

I grabbed her arm then forced her to look at me. “Janice, talk to me.”

“There’s nothing wrong,” she said immediately. “I’m just tired…”

I still felt like she was hiding something. “If there’s something on your mind and you don’t want to talk about it, I’d rather hear that than a lie. Now, I’ll ask you again. Is everything okay?”

She held my gaze for a moment before she looked away. “I don’t want to talk about it…”

I took a deep breath. She confided everything to me, but I couldn’t push her to be open with me. “Okay.” I returned to the boxes and started unpacking our stuff. Janice
went back to work like our conversation never happened. My mind worked in overdrive as I brainstormed what could be bothering her, but I came up with nothing. She’d talk to me when she was ready. But for now, there was nothing I could do.

When we caught a ride with Mike to Scarlet’s house, Janice was still quiet. Her silence was killing me. What could be bugging her so much that she couldn’t confide in me, her boyfriend of a year? Now I understood why Cortland was so frustrated with Monnique.

Mike and I talked about sports and tattoos. Janice sat in the back and didn’t participate. It was like she didn’t exist.

When we came into the house, a circular table was in the living room. The poker chips and cards were laid out, including horrendous snack food Scarlet and Janice both wouldn’t approve of. Since it was guys’ night, Scarlet must have let Sean have his freedom. I was surprised to see Andrew at the table.

“Hey,” Andrew said as he hugged me. “How are you?”

“Great, sir. How are you?”

“It’s Andrew,” he said firmly. “Sir makes me sound old.”

“Of course,” I said with a laugh.

He hugged Janice then Mike before he returned to the table. I turned to Janice and gave her a kiss. Her affection was cold and lifeless. Now I was getting really worried.

“I’m going to Scarlet’s office,” she said quietly.

“Okay.” I wanted to ask what was wrong but I held my tongue.

“Have fun.” She walked up the stairs and disappeared.

I joined the guys at the table.

“Let’s deal,” Sean said.

Andrew shuffled the deck then passed the car
ds out. They all joked while they drank their beers. Andrew kept winning every hand, and Mike and Sean kept glaring at him.

“No fair,” Mike said. “
You’re super old so you have a bunch of experience.”

“No, son,” Andrew said. “You just suck.”

I was so upset I didn’t even laugh. I wasn’t playing very well because I couldn’t get my head in the game.

Cortland eyed me from across the table. He could r
ead me pretty well, almost as well as Scarlet, but he didn’t question me in front of the group. I was thankful because I wasn’t in the mood to talk about my relationship problems. I didn’t even have anything to say because I had no idea what was going on. Maybe Janice was pregnant but she was scared to tell me? But she didn’t look pregnant…

When we took a short break, I decided to talk to Janice
. I had to get this settled now. I couldn’t concentrate on anything else anyway.

I walked upstairs and searched for Scarlet’s office. I’d only been in the bedroom I slept in with Janice so I didn’t know where anything was. When I heard the girl’s voices, I knew what door they were in. Monnique was at work so it was just Janice and Scarlet. I raised my hand to
knock on the door when I heard Janice speak.

“Scarlet, I don’t know what to do. I have to tell him the truth…”

That got my heart pounding. I had no idea what she was talking about. I felt guilty for eavesdropping but I couldn’t stop myself. What was Janice talking about?

“Now we’re in our new apartment,” Janice said. “And I know he’s going to propose soon…I just can’t hide it anymore.”

I placed my hand on the wall and steadied myself. Did she cheat one? Was there someone else? The worst possible scenarios were going through my head.

“Janice, calm down.” My sister’s voice was calm but firm. “There’s no point in telling him. It’s in the past. Just let it go.”

What? Why would my sister discourage her for being honest with me?

“All you’re going to do is make Ryan upset, and make everything awkward. My brother is really happy with you and I
don’t want him to ruin it. I have no idea how he’ll react.”

Janice took a deep breath. “I don’t know, Scarlet…I tell him everything. There’s nothing he doesn’t know about me
and he’s always opened up to me. I don’t think I can keep this secret for the rest of my life. And if we get married soon…I should tell him now.”

Scarlet was quiet for a while. “I can’t make this decision for you, but I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“I don’t know what else to do…”

I couldn’t listen to this anymore. I stepped away from the door then headed to the stairs. My vision was blurred from the shot of adrenaline in my body, and I tripped. I fell down the stairs, thudding against the wooden beams. When I finally landed on the tile, I rubbed my head and sat up.

“Dude, are you okay?” Sean came to me and helped me up. “Anything broken?”

The office up the stairs opened. Janice appeared at the landing
and her eyes widened. She dashed down the steps then fell to her knees in front of me.

“Are you okay?” she asked with concern. She reached for me but I pushed her arm away.

“Don’t touch me.”

Everyone stilled at my words, including Janice.

Sean dropped his hand and stepped back.

I glared at Janice. I knew I shouldn’t do this now, but I was too upset to be logical. She’s been hiding something from me for a year. She betrayed me. I was afraid to know what it was but I was
consumed in finding the truth. “What have you been hiding from me?” My words were full of venom.

Her eyes widened.

“Tell me!”

She flinched at the anger in my words.

“Did you cheat on me?”

“No.” Her eyes coated with tears.

“Then what?”

Scarlet came down the stairs and stopped next to her. I was even more pissed with her than Janice.

Janice was breathing heavily and she looked panicked. “I…it was a long time ago, before I even met you.”

Now I was even more confused.

“When Sean and Scarlet were friends…I slept with him.”

My heart fell from my chest. I wasn’t expecting that. It was so unbelievable that I didn’t react. I couldn’t even process the possibility. It seemed so impossible. The idea of Janice being with anyone else but me disgusted me, but being with someone I actually knew was even worse. Sean sighed then stepped back.

“Sean?” I asked.

She nodded. “It didn’t mean anything. It was just…physical. It only happened one time. I didn’t know if I should tell you because it happened before we were together, but I felt guilty not telling you…I’m sorry.”

I stared at her, still unable to respond.

“And I didn’t want you to be weird around Sean,” Janice continued. “But I felt too guilty. I’m sorry…”

“No,
Scarlet
didn’t want me to be weird around Sean. That’s all she cares about.” I’ve never been so angry in my life. My words shook the room because they carried so much hatred and anger. “Scarlet doesn’t give a shit about anyone but herself. As long as she has her stupid perfect family, then she’s happy.” I gave her a look of disgust. “I can’t believe you told her to keep that from me. Fuck you, Scarlet. Fuck you!”

Scarlet stepped back, her arms shaking. I’d never yelled at her like that, but she’s never hurt me so much. I didn’t pity her and I didn’t care.
Her actions were pure treason.

“I’m sorry,” Janice said. The tears fell down her face. “I love you.”

I couldn’t stay here. I had to get out. I was afraid I would destroy everything in their hose because I was so pissed. “Cortland, you’re giving me a ride.” I opened the front door and stormed out.

Cortland didn’t question my command. He followed me out the door, trailing behind me with his head down.

Janice chased me. “I’m so sorry! Please don’t go! Please!” She was sobbing hysterically, her words incoherent. She latched onto me from behind and squeezed. “God, I’m sorry. I love you.”

I knew I was being irrational with Janice, but I was too pissed to get my anger under control. I pulled my arm off.

Janice grabbed me again. “Please don’t leave me. I’ll do anything…” She clung to me like a magnet. “I’m not letting you go. You’ll have to throw me off.”

I stopped walking, letting he
r cling to me. “Get in the car.” I kept my voice even but I still didn’t look at her.

“I…”

“Get in the car. I won’t ask you again.”

She finally let me go then got into the backseat of the infinity. Scarlet came to me next, her eyes bubbling with tears.

“Ryan, I—”

“Shut the fuck up.”

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She wobbled on her feet then opened her eyes. I’d babied her for her entire life. But I wasn’t now.

“You were supposed to be the one person in
this damn world that always had my back no matter what. You should betray everyone else before you even considered betraying me. How could be so selfish? All you care about is getting what you want, even if that means lying to your own damn brother.

“I had a bat bashed against my ribs, a fucking ashtray thrown against my head, my face scratched with nails full of ash
, anda fracture on my skull because I risked my damn life to protect you! I did everything for you. I fucking raised you and always put your first! And this is what I get? You call yourself my sister?

“
Now I feel stupid for every trusting you implicitly. When you ignored me for a year when I needed you, I should have let you go. When you showed up on my doorstep and expected me to take care of you, I should have told you to fuck off.

“I’m done with you.” I stared her down, emphasizing my words with the fire in my eyes.

“Ryan, I know how much you love Janice and I just didn’t want you to ruin that!” Now she was sobbing.

“Fuck you. Don’t give me that shit.” I g
ot in her face, my mouth close to her face.

Sean came to her side then placed his hand on my arm, pulling me away gently. The touch set me off and I punched him in the face without thinking. He stumbled back and gripped his nose.

Scarlet covered her face and gasped at my extreme violence. “Sean, don’t hit him back.”

Sean stayed back like a dog.

The terror on her face didn’t elicit any emotion inside me, other than anger. “I’m more than capable of taking care of my relationship without your help. You’re the one who’s crippled and needs my approval for every damn thing. The idea of Janice being with Sean makes me sick, but we’ll work through it. I know she didn’t do anything wrong. I’m not mad at her. I’m fucking pissed at you for not telling me. You’re supposed to have my back. After everything I’ve done for you, I’ve earned at least that. I thought I had your loyalty. I guess I don’t.

She sobbed loudly “Ryan, I’m so sorry. I love you. I…I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

I turned around. “I’m done with you.”

She stopped crying for a moment. “What…?”

“What you did was unforgivable. I can’t trust you.”

“No!” She ran to me then hugged my waist. “I’m sorry. I’ll do anything, Ryan. I love you so much. Please don’t do this.”

“Get off me.” I wanted to tug her off but I didn’t want to hurt her. I may be livid, but hitting a woman gave me no release. I’d rather punch Sean again.

“No…” She fell to her knees and clung to my knees. “Please, Ryan. I’m sorry…from the bottom of my heart.”

I looked at Sean. “Get your wife off me.”

Sean kneeled down and grabbed her arms gently. As soon as she was off me, I walked to the car.

“No!” Scarlet screamed. “Ryan, please.”

Sean held her tightly, his head on top of hers.

I got into the passenger seat and slammed the door. “Get me out of here.”

Cortland backed out then drove down the road back to the city. Janice was silent in the backseat. Cortland glanced at me but kept his mouth shut.

“Did you know about this?” I snapped