The Wandering Caravan (4 page)

“You’re disgusting.” I could hear the smile in her voice.

“I’m disgusting when it comes to you. We can have phone sex if you want. Or better yet, web came sex.”

“Or you can just wait until you get home.”

“Nah.”

She turned slightly then hugged me. “I love you.”

That was an unexpected response. “Where did that come form?”

“No man has ever wanted me as much as you do. I’ve never felt beautiful or loved.”

That broke my heart. “And you’ll never feel that way ever again.”

“I know,” she whispered.

I kissed her forehead again.

My phone rang on my nightstand.
Without moving Scarlet, I grabbed it and looked at the screen. It was my mom. I ignored it.

“Who was that?”

“Mom.”

“Oh.”

She called again. I sighed in annoyance.

“Maybe it’s important, Sean.”

“I don’t want to talk to her right now.”

“She knows you’re on your honeymoon. She’s probably calling for a reason.”

“Fine.” I answered it. “Hello?”

“Hello, dear. How’s the honeymoon?”

It didn’t sound like anything was wrong. “It’s great. We’re having a good time.”

“That’s good. Have you guys gone snorkeling?”

“Mom, did you call for something?”

“I haven’t talked to you in a week,” she said. “I just wanted to check in.”

I loved my mom but she could be really annoying sometimes. “I’ll talk to you when I get back.”

I heard my father’s voice in the background. “Diane, I told you not to call him!”

At least my dad understood boundaries. “Mom, I got to go.”

“I just wanted to check on him,” she shouted at my dad.

I rolled my eyes as I listened to them argue.

“Don’t call a man when he’s on his honeymoon, Diane. If he needs something, he’ll call.”

I seemed to be forgotten, so I hung up.

Scarlet just shook her head. “I’ll try to get along with my mother-in-law but I have a feeling I never will.”

I laughed. “I don’t blame you. She means well but she doesn’t understand boundaries sometimes. One time she walked in on me when I was…you know…and the next day she bought me Playboys. She was trying to be a cool mom but it just backfired.”

Scarlet laughed loudly. “Oh my god.”

“Really awkward.”

“I thought you would get a lecture about how inappropriate
your actions were.”

“She hoped I wouldn’t have sex until I was an adult if I was masturbating.” I shook my head. “She couldn’t have been more wrong about that.”

Scarlet kept laughing. “That’s so embarrassing.”

“Has Ryan ever caught you doing anything?”

“No,” she said immediately. “Because I’ve never done anything like that.”

“Really?” I asked.

“It’s not my thing.”

“Wow. Now I understand why you were so…easy to please the first time we slept together.”

“Thanks for being so sensitive about it,” she said with a smile.

“I’d teach you now but you won’t need it.”

“What about during webcam sex?” she asked.

My eyes widened. “I forgot about that. I’m going to have to teach you.”

“I’m sure it feels better when you do it.”

“Then pretend it’s me,” I
whispered.

“I don’t know…I feel dirty.”

“You are dirty.” I gripped her waist as I held her to my chest.

“Only with you.”

“It’s still me. As long as you’re thinking about me.”

“I never think about anyone else, Sean.”

“Good answer.” My hand moved to her back and I rubbed her gently. “We’ll start practicing.”

Her cheeks reddened.

“There’s no reason to be embarrassed.”

“I just can’t believe my husba
nd is the one to teach me all this.”

“He’s the only who should teach you anything,” I whispered.

She turned in my arms and faced me. When she lay on my chest, she was as light as a feather. I never snuggled with someone so much. Penelope and I always took separate sides of the bed. I never liked to cuddle, except with Scarlet. Even when we were just friends, she and I would still do it.

Now I couldn’t image a time when she wouldn’t be sprawled on my chest like this. The slight weight was a comfort to me. As soon as she moved, I knew she wasn’t there. It was like
an alarm system. I needed to have her near me all the time. As soon as she left, I was aching.

“I couldn’t live without you,” I whispered. I
didn’t think before I spoke. It just came out. I knew it a year ago when she left me in New York. I stood on the curb, crying while she left me. I knew I lost the most amazing thing in the world and I’d never get it back. I couldn’t breath. I couldn’t think.

She sat up and looked at me. “I couldn’t live without you either.”

“Then it’s a good thing we got married.”

She lay back down and closed her eyes. “A very good thing.”

The next evening, we met Sydney and Coen at the taco shop by the
coast. They were already sitting at a table by the window. Coen had his arm around her and he was whispering in her ear. She smiled while she listened to him. They looked like a young couple in love.

Scarlet and I took the seat ac
ross from them. I could tell Scarlet was smitten with Sydney. They reminded me of each other. Scarlet had a natural ability to be friends with everyone she met. It didn’t matter where or who.

“Hey,” Scarlet said happily. “Thanks for inviting us.”

“No problem,” Sydney said. “You have to take break from…you know…sometime.”

“I didn’t need a break,” Coen said.

I held up my hand and high-fived him. I knew we’d get along just fine.

We ordered our food at the counter then returned to our seats. Scarlet and I both had tacos. Coen had a burrito and Sydney had veggie tacos.

“How long have you been here?” Sydney asked.

“Over a week,” Scarlet answered. “It’s beautiful here.”

“Where are you from?” Coen asked.

“New York and Seattle,” I answered. “We’ve been going back and forth recently.”

“Cool,” Coen said. “What do you do for a living?”

“I own a software company.”

Coen didn’t seem impressed. “Cool.”

Now I liked him even more. Every one was always impressed when I revealed this, or they instantly liked me more because I had money. Coen didn’t seem to care. Sydney didn’t either.

“What do you do?” Sydney asked Scarlet.

“I’m an editor.”

“What kind?” she asked.

“I edit novels.”

“Cool. Coen and I both go to the university. We’re marine biologists.”

Scarlet’s face lit up at the announcement. “That’s so cool.”

“Thanks,” Sydney said. “We both like it.”

“No wonder why you’re married,” I commented. “I’m assuming that’s how you met?”

“Yep. I was his tutor and it took off from there.”

Coen inhaled his burrito then placed his arm around her shoulder. “I didn’t give her a choice.”

“We didn’t date very long before we got married,” Sydney said. “Only for three months. But when you know, you know.”

I looked at Scarlet and we shared a look. I knew she was the right person for me but it took a lot longer than three months to figure that out. We weren’t as fortunate. “We’ve been dating officially for a year.”

“Officially?” Coen asked. “I can already tell you’ve had a complicated relationship.”

“We were friends before we were lovers—for about ten years.”

“Wow,” Sydney said. “So you know each other really well.”

“There are things I wish I didn’t know,” Scarlet said with a laugh.

Sydney laughed at her joke then finished her tacos. “Are you sad to go home?”

“Yes and No,” Scarlet said. “I really miss my family. I see them everyday and now I’m getting homesick.”

I rolled my eyes. “She has a sick codependent relationship with her brother.”

Coen looked at her. “Reminds me of you and Henry.”

Sydney glared at him. “I doubt it.”

Scarlet ignored the comment. “We managed to explore the island and do everything we wanted to do in just a few short days.”

“I thought you were here for over a week?” Coen asked.

I smiled. “I held her prisoner in the bedroom most of the time.”

Coen winked. “That sounds about right.”

Scarlet’s cheeks r
eddened. “I finally persuaded him to leave the hotel room.”

“It sou
nds like he’s trying to get you pregnant,” Sydney said.

I shr
ugged. “It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.”

“No,” Scarlet said firmly. “We aren’t having kids for a few years. I already have to baby Sean.”

“You don’t baby me,” I said.

“If I didn’t cook for you, you’d starve.”

“Well, I’ll give you that,” I said.

We spent
the next hour getting to know our new friends in paradise. Coen was a defense trainer and Sydney used to be his student. Now I knew I shouldn’t mess with him. They seemed extremely opposite of each other despite their commonalities. Coen was quiet and observant; watching everything his wife did without making it obvious. Sydney was more direct in her opinions and desires. And when she looked at Coen, she made it obvious. She didn’t seem concerned with the world around her. She trusted Coen to take care of her.

Scarlet and Sydney got along well. Coen and I clicked as soon as we met. We had a lot in common in terms of our wives. We were both equally protective and suspicious of anything that came near them.

When we finished our dinner, we had a long goodbye. Sydney and Scarlet exchanged numbers so they could keep in contact.

“Next time you come to the island, stay with us,” Sydney said. “We have a house on the beach.”

“Wow. I’ll take you up on that,” Scarlet said.

They shared a hug and Coen and I shook hands. When we went our separate ways, Scarlet was sad.

“I hope we see them again someday.”

I wrapped my arm around her and walked her to the car. “I’m sure we will, baby.”

5

Scarlet

We were finally on our way home. The plane was quiet and everyone was reading a magazine or watching a movie while listening to their headsets. I crossed my legs then squeezed my thighs together. I was extremely sore from all the lovemaking we did for ten days. It didn’t happen until recently. And I didn’t mention it to Sean because I didn’t want to make him feel bad. He was always gentle with me. We just had sex so much that my body couldn’t handle it anymore.

Sean placed his hand on my thigh. “I’m sad our honeymoon is over but I’m excited to spend the rest of my life with you.”

I loved it when Sean was romantic. It happened a lot more often now that we were married.

“So…I’m going to the bathroom.”

Not this again. “Sean, no.”

He nuzzled
my neck and gave me gentle kisses. “Let’s keep the honeymoon going.”

“That tradition needs to die out and be forgotten,” I said firmly.

“One last time,” he pressed.

I looked out the window and avoided his gaze. “No.”

He moved his hand under my dress and inched closer to the apex of my thighs. I knew where this was going and I had to stop it. I placed my hand on his and stopped it. “Sean, I said no.”

His hand stilled at the seriousness of my voice. Then he pulled it away. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m just not in the mood right now.”

He stared at me suspiciously. “You’re always in the mood.”

I rolled my eyes. “I am not.”

“Who are you kidding?”

Yeah, he did have a point.

“Scar, is everything okay? You’re a valued member of the Mile High club.”

“We already got in trouble once. We shouldn’t risk it again.”

He didn’t seem convinced. “Scarlet, you’ve never told me to stop touching you—not like that. I could tell you really meant it. Did I do something?”

“No.” I grabbed his hand and held it. “You didn’t do anything.”

“Then what’s bothering you?”

“I’m just…a little sore.” I didn’t look at him when I said it.

I could tell how upset he was by the tension in his arms. His jaw clenched and
he took a deep breath. He pulled away from me then rested his forehead against the palm of his hand.

“Sean?”

He didn’t say anything.

“It’s not a big deal. It doesn’t even hurt that bad.”

“But I still hurt you,” he said sadly. “Fuck.”

I wished I hadn’t said anything.

“I’m so sorry.” When he looked at me he had tears in his eyes. “If I had known, I would have stopped.”

“Sean, it’s fine. Really.
It wasn’t intentional.”

“The last
thing I’d ever want to do is hurt you.”

“I know. I know.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were in pain?”

“I didn’t feel it until this morning,” I said.

He sighed. “I’m so sorry.”

“Sean, it’s okay.”

He pulled away from me, hating himself in isolation. I didn’t know what to say to make him feel better. I leaned into him then rested my head on his shoulder. My arm hooked around his waist and squeezed gently. He didn’t push me away but he didn’t reciprocate any affection.

After we left the plane and grabbed our luggage, Sean carried everything to the pick-up area. Cortland and Ryan were giving us a lift back to the apartment. I was excited to see my family, but now I was shaken up about Sean. He looked devastated by my words. I wanted to hit myself in the forehead for being so damn stupid. What was I thinking telling him that?

Sean stood beside me and waited for the car to arrive.

I sighed then looked at him. “It’s really not a big deal, Sean.”

“Maybe not to you,” he said darkly. “I want to make you feel good, not bad.”

“You didn’t. My body is just…tired.”

Sean fell silent and I knew the conversation was over.

The car pulled up
, and Cortland and Ryan both got out at the same time. I wasn’t as excited to see them as I should have been. I was more concerned about Sean.

Ryan stopped in front of me. “You know it’s me, right?”

I smiled then hugged him. “I missed you.”

“It doesn’t seem like it,” he said as he wrapped his arms around me. “I thought you were blind for a second.”

Cortland hugged me next. “You okay, Scar?”

“Yeah.”

He eyed me but didn’t press the question. I knew I would be interrogated by both of them later. Ryan embraced Sean then helped him pack the luggage in the trunk. When we got inside, Sean made sure my safety belt was on before he sat at the opposite side of the car. He didn’t even hold my hand. He just looked out the window.

Cortland headed back to the apartment then glanced in the rearview mirror. “I smell divorce…”

I glared at him.

Ryan looked over his shoulder and glanced at me. “What are you guys fighting about now?”

“Nothing,” I said immediately.

“Maybe they are sick of each other,” Cortland said.

“Why don’t you just tell them?” Sean said. “You’re going to tell them everything as soon as I’m gone anyway.” I noted the darkness in his voice. He was angry, but I wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t my fault.

Ryan turned back around and fell silent. The tension picked up in the car.

Cortland arrived at our apartment. “We’re pretty much packed. Now we’ll have to do your apartment tomorrow. It shouldn’t take too long with all of us.”

“Thanks,” I said.

“You coming over?” Ryan asked.

I didn’t know if I should. I looked at Sean.

He glanced at me then turned away. “Call me when you want me to pick you up.”

“Umm…I think I’m going to stay with Sean.”

“No,” Sean said immediately. “I want to be alone right now.” He got out then grabbed the luggage from the trunk. I didn’t get out of the car because I didn’t see the point. Cortland helped him carry everything inside. Ryan and I stayed in the car.

My brother eyed me with a concerned expression but he didn’t question me—not yet.

Cortland returned to the car and drove away.

Ryan turned in his seat and looked at me. “Should I be worried…?”

“No. We just…had a problem.”

“Spill it,” Cortland said. “He seemed really upset.”

“Well, it’s kinda personal…” I was thinking of my brother. This was a little awkward.

Ryan rolled his eyes. “There’s nothing about you I don’t know. Even all the shit that makes me
gag. I think I can handle it.”

That was true. “We had a lot of sex.”

“Shocking,” Ryan said sarcastically.

“And now I’m pretty sore. When I told
Sean, he was angry with himself. He hates the idea of hurting me.”

“Well, if you were doing it that much, it was bound to happen,” Cortland said. “It obviously wasn’t intentional.”

“I said the same thing to Sean, but he doesn’t listen.”

“He’ll get over it,” Ryan said. “It’s not like you were seriously injured.”

“I hope so.”

We came back to the apartment, but there wasn’t much space. Boxes were littered everywhere. In the corner, there was fort made out of boxes. I had a feeling Ryan and Cortland got bored and decided to build it.

Janice came out of the bedroom then sat beside me on the couch. We discussed my honeymoon, and I told her about my new friends, Sydney and Coen. Ryan ordered a pizza and we ate it on the floor. Seeing the apartment packed up made me depressed. We were really moving.

“Why are you sad?” Ryan asked. “This is what you want, right?”

“Yeah…there’s just a lot of memories here.”

“We’ll have to go to MegaShake one more time before we leave,” Cortland said.

That made me even more depressed. “Yeah.”

When it was almost midnight, I decided to call Sean. I didn’t want to bother him because he was in a bad mood, but
he’d be pissed if I took a cab by myself. His protectiveness only increased after we tied the knot.

He didn’t say hi when he answered. “I’m leaving now.”

“Okay.”

He hung up.

I sighed in irritation.

“What?” Ryan asked.

“I hate it when he acts like this. He completely cuts me off.”

“Tell him off,” Ryan said simply. “I do it to Janice all the time.”

I ignored his comment and waited for Sean to arrive. A few minutes later, he walked through the unlocked door. “You ready?”

“Yeah…”

“Good night,” Sean said to everyone.

“We’ll be there tomorrow to help you pack,” Ryan said.

“Sound good.” Sean still sounded depressed.

Sean was silent for the entire ride home. He didn’t hold my hand or touch me. I felt like a stranger to him.

When we got inside, Sean placed a pillow and blanket on the couch. He pulled his clothes off then lay down.

Was he not sleeping with me? “Sean, what are you doing?”

“Going to bed.” He closed his eyes.

“Then why aren’t you in the bedroom?”

“I want to sleep here.” He was short with me.

I started to get angry. “Why are you blaming this on me? I didn’t do anything wrong. Now get your ass up and get in bed.”

He sat up and looked at me. “I’m not blaming you. I just don’t want to sleep with you.”

I felt my heart clench painfully. “Why…?”

He wouldn’t look at me. “I don’t deserve to.”

“Sean, you’re making this a bigger deal than it needs to be. Just let it go.”

“No. What I did was unacceptable. I should have been easier on you.”

“It was an accident. If it doesn’t bother me, it shouldn’t bother you,” I said.

He leaned back on the couch, sitting in his briefs.

“Either come to bed or I’m sleeping on the couch with you. And I prefer the bed.”

“You want to sleep with me?” he asked hesitantly.

“Of course I do, Sean. You’re my husband. I want to sleep with you every night.”

He still didn’t move. “You do?”

I grabbed his hand and yanked him to a stand. “Yes.”

He stood in front of me, his chest bare. I placed a gentle kiss on his heart. “Did you tell Ryan?”

“What do you think?” I whispered.

“Is he pissed at me?”

“No. He thinks you’re overreacting too.”

“It’s just…I feel sick to my stomach for hurting you. I hate myself.”

“Sean, let it go. I’ll be fine by tomorrow.”

He sighed. “Okay.”

“Now stop being annoying and come to bed.”

He smiled at me. “Annoying?”

“You’re acting like a girl.”

He laughed. “Thanks. That really makes me feel better.”

I pulled him to bed then undressed. Sean lay in the center of the bed and waited for me to join him. I pulled on one of his t-shirts then took my place on top of his chest.
He took a deep breath while he wrapped his arms around me. His fingers glided through my hair until I fell asleep.