The War of Gods (A Welcome to the Underworld Novel, Book 3) (8 page)

I was never meant to exist
, Yoori brooded as she drove in agonized silence. She was never meant to exist and from the look of things, Yoori had the innate feeling she wouldn’t exist for much longer. This was An Soo Jin’s world—An Soo Jin’s life—and when the time arose and Soo Jin came back to reclaim the life that was rightfully hers, Choi Yoori would be nothing but a mere memory.

This thought
pained Yoori because despite all the torment she felt (and despite the difficulty of being associated with this vindictive world), she still wanted to live. She wanted to live because she didn’t want to be taken away from the life she had created for herself. She didn’t want to forget about the people she loved. Most importantly, she didn’t want the monster inside her to come out.

Her conversation with Jung Min flashed in her mind, and Yoori knew that she could no longer avoid the inevitable truth. She hated Tae Hyun, but she would never allow anyone to hurt him. And right now, the biggest threat wasn’t Ji Hoon, the Advisors, or the Underworld
—the biggest threat was her Underworld counterpart. The Queen of the Underworld may do everything in her power to kill Tae Hyun, but Yoori would do everything in her power to protect him.

Yoori inhaled sharply, finally accepting the reality of her life.

Jung Min was right.

He had been right all along.

A war was coming, but this particular war was not between herself and Tae Hyun; it was between herself and An Soo Jin.

And for the sake of everything she loved in this world, Yoori prayed she’d win this war. She prayed she’d be able to bury Soo Jin, and not allow Soo Jin to bury her
.

“And the weak. . .”

04: Greater Pain

It took Yoori the entire day at the library to recover from the night prior. Tae Hyun, Chae Young, Ji Hoon, and Soo Jin continued to haunt her. The only solace she found was in the stories she escaped into. Reading was like a drug. The instant she took her dosage, she would forget about her pain, forget about the damning world she lived in, and forget about the dramas of her life. Yoori knew she couldn’t dwell in the world of books forever, but she wanted to stay in it for a bit longer. Just a bit longer until she found a job, recovered from everything that happened to her, got on with her life, and continued to keep An Soo Jin at bay. One could only hope, and all Yoori had was hope.

“Can I join you?” asked a tentative voice.

Yoori lifted her eyes from her book.

She froze when she noted that the person standing before her was Kang Min’s girlfriend, and Kwon Tae Hyun’s baby sister, Kwon Hae Jin.

Hae Jin’s black hair was tied up in a stylish ponytail that accentuated her perfect curls. She wore a white turtleneck, black jeans that hugged her tall body flawlessly, and heels. A black trench coat hung off her arm with remnants of fresh snow stuck to it. There were two rosy circles on her cheeks, bringing life to her normally pale face.

Yoori straightened uneasily.
She hadn’t expected to see anyone at the library, much less Hae Jin. She glanced to the corner where her unofficial Serpents bodyguards typically sat. They were nowhere to be seen. Yoori had the innate feeling that Hae Jin had ordered them to go downstairs so she could have some alone time with her.

“I know you’re upset with Kang Min and Jae Won because they knew what my brother was do
ing the entire time,” Hae Jin began apprehensively. She took in a tense breath. “If you think I knew something about it, then I want you to know that I didn’t. I only found out everything after I heard you left. I really thought you were his girlfriend. I had no idea you were his ‘assistant’ and that it was his plan to meet you.” She smiled uncertainly at Yoori, nervously tapping her fingernails on the oak table where Yoori sat. “With all that said, I hope you’re not upset with me as well.”

“No, no. Of course I’m not,
” Yoori assured meekly, edging the stack of books closer to her. It was her silent confirmation that Hae Jin could take a seat.

She ha
d time to mull over things further, and Yoori came to the conclusion that she would’ve been pulled into the Underworld some other way even if Tae Hyun hadn’t been the one to lure her in. Ultimately, she could forgive him for that. However, she couldn’t forgive the lies that continued to fester as she grew close to him. She doubted the betrayal of trust was something she could forget.

As though anticipating a
more hostile reaction from Yoori, Hae Jin nodded gratefully. “Good. I’m happy to hear that.”

Yoori smiled kindly at Hae Jin. It was her unspoken way of assuring Hae Jin that she did not harbor any ill feelings toward her.
Hae Jin had always been in the dark about the realities of Yoori’s relationship with her brother. Out of everyone in their group, Hae Jin and Chae Young were the only ones who were still in Yoori’s good graces.

“Please,” Yoori started gently. “Please sit, Hae Jin.”

Hae Jin smiled again and nodded.

“I j
ust came from seeing Chae Young,” she shared, taking a seat across from Yoori.

Yoori’s
heart clenched when she was reminded of Chae Young. She had been such a horrible friend. It had been days since she saw her best friend, and she still found no strength to overcome the guilt that continued to plague her. Yoori wondered if such guilt would ever diminish.

Only when I kill Jin Ae
, Yoori concluded crossly.

“How is she?”
Yoori asked, truly wanting to know.

Moroseness inhabited Hae Jin’s brown eyes.
“She hasn’t been eating much. Jae Won says she’s dazed most of the time and has trouble sleeping. She wasn’t really receptive to seeing guests when Kang Min and I went to visit, but I managed to slip through with a bowl of soup for her.”

Yoori’s voice was hopeful
when she said, “Did she eat?”

Hae Jin nodded,
earning a sigh of relief from Yoori.

“How’d you manage that?”
asked Yoori.

They were o
n the upper level of the library, right in the corner where the encyclopedias sat. Yoori was thankful that it was late at night and that there were no patrons around who could be bothered by their conversation. They could talk as much as they wanted.

“I told her that I unde
rstood what she’s going through,” said Hae Jin. Although her voice remained composed, pain still throbbed in it. “Even though our situations are different, I told her that I still understood.”

Yoori nodded forlornly, recalling that Hae Jin was raped by her
eldest brother, Kwon Ho Young, before Tae Hyun killed him. Anguish clawed at her. In that moment, Yoori saw how small her problems were compared to Chae Young and Hae Jin’s. It was one thing to combat life problems, but it was something else entirely when rape was involved.

“Thank you,
” Yoori told her gratefully. She was tempted to jump over the table and hug Hae Jin for helping to take care of her friend. She also wanted to embrace Hae Jin as a small form of condolence for everything that she had been through. “I should be the one helping to take care of her—”

“
You’re going through a lot, Yoori,” Hae Jin interjected in understanding. “You can’t help someone else unless you help yourself first. It’s better that you’re here, getting everything in order instead of seeing Chae Young and risking breaking down in front of her. That’s the last thing Chae Young needs.”

Though Yoori nodded,
she didn’t feel any less guilty (or shitty).

“We’ve missed you,
” Hae Jin added once she saw the ache manifest on Yoori’s face. “My brother being at the top of the list.”

Yoori froze at the mention of Tae Hyun. She
suspected that it would only be a matter of time before they spoke about him. However, that didn’t mean she was exempt from the emotions that boiled up whenever he was brought up. The walls that she once had lowered for Hae Jin quickly reassembled. She couldn’t allow herself to become vulnerable to the hurt by all of this again.

“Kwon Tae Hyun doesn’t miss me,
” Yoori stated steadily, recalling the previous night in which he didn’t even acknowledge her existence. There was conviction in her voice. Yoori may have forgiven him for bringing her into the Underworld—because it was obvious that it would’ve happened one way or another—but she couldn’t forgive him for the rest. She couldn’t forgive him for the lies and the humiliation she felt. Perhaps one day, she would truly be over him. For now, she would simply pretend that she was. “Someone as corrupted as him led a great life before he met me. He’ll be just as fine without me. After all, he has his precious Underworld and all the girls in the world to take care of him.”

Yoori hoped
the venom in her words would convince Hae Jin that she was over someone like Tae Hyun.

Hae Jin did not heed the malice in Yoori’s voice. Instead, she changed the subject to ease away all the poisonous thoughts Yoori associated with Tae Hyun.

“Did you know that we were really close as a family?” Hae Jin asked instead.

Yoori
collapsed into silence at Hae Jin’s unexpected question. She knew what was to come. She dreaded hearing it, for it would be information that would probably ruin any hope of her ever getting over Tae Hyun. But because she was curious, she kept quiet. She allowed Hae Jin to go on because as much as her rationale told her that Tae Hyun was a horrible person, she knew that there was more to him than what meets the eye. There was more to Tae Hyun and his Underworld persona, and she wanted to hear it from the only person who knew anything about his past—his baby sister.

Hae Jin continued to speak when it was clear that
she had claimed Yoori’s attention. “My parents, my brothers, and I were all once very close. Our father was busy, but he made sure the family spent time together. He made sure we went to the lake house every other weekend, he made sure all of our birthdays were celebrated, and he made sure we bonded as a family and loved each other like family members should.”

The warm glint
in her eyes began to diminish.

“Our lives were great
. . .
like a fairytale until one event changed everything. When Ji Hoon killed our father, our family began to tear apart. Our father was our glue. He was the one who protected us, guided us, and showered us with nothing but love and affection. When he died, our world fell apart. My mother was the first to go. She started to alienate herself while she mourned the loss of our father. She ignored us and didn’t speak to us because she was so depressed. The three of us tried to speak to her—to get through to her—but she was already pushed over the edge. A couple of weeks after his death, she committed suicide and died with him.”

Yoori felt the weight of the world push against her chest. She recalled how much Tae Hyun hated it when she ignored him an
d gave him the silent treatment. She had no idea it was something his mother did to the whole family before she committed suicide.

“It didn’t take long for th
e rest of us to fall apart,” Hae Jin continued. “My eldest brother, who was already drinking and taking drugs after my father’s death, started to abuse more drugs. Oppa, who took it the hardest because she died a few days before his birthday, escaped by schooling abroad.”

Yoori took in a sharp breath. She understood now why Tae Hyun was not eager to celebrate his birthday. Who would want to celebrate their birthday when their mother committed suicide just days before?

“And me,” said Hae Jin. “I not only lost my parents, but both of my older brothers too.” Her voice started to become shaky. It was expressive in her face that this was a difficult memory for her to revisit. But to give her brother justice, she fought through it. “There was a time where I hated him too, you know? After my father’s death, my eldest brother started acting strange toward me. It got so bad that I was afraid to even be alone with him. I told oppa this, and you know what he told me? He said he was too busy—he didn’t have time for me and my imagination.” She shook her head, exhaling painfully. “He left for college, and I was left alone with Ho Young. Then
. . .
Ho Young started doing things to me that I knew were wrong. He was touching me, forcing me to do things with him, and just
. . .
” She took a moment to gather her breath. “And just made my life a living hell. At that instance, I hated Kwon Tae Hyun.”

She glanced at Yoori.  

“We don’t talk about our eldest brother much, but he still haunts us every single day.” Her face grew paler. “I’ll never forget that night, when my eldest brother came into my room, drunk off his mind, and told me that I wasn’t his sister anymore, that he needed me as something else.” As though to prevent tears from streaming down her face, she bit her quivering lips. “That night was hard, but it was harder when oppa came home unannounced and found Ho Young on top of me
. . .
touching me.” Hae Jin closed her eyes and tried to steady her breathing.