The Warrior Vampire (25 page)

“I'm sorry, Naya.” The words were a mantra, barely audible even to him. “I'm sorry, Naya. I'm sorry.” He took a deep, shuddering breath and hugged her to him. “I'm sorry.”

Moments passed and the world fell away. There were only the two of them, the sound of their soft breaths, gentle touches with seeking hands. Ronan couldn't bear to be parted from her. Inches of space were too much. As long as he could touch her, kiss her, inhale her sweet scent, he'd be all right. He could do anything as long as he had her.

“You've got to be fucking
kidding
me!”

Luz's incredulous outburst broke the spell and the reality of their situation crashed around him. Ronan looked over Naya's shoulder at the sight of her enraged cousin. Her stance was battle ready and she gripped a wicked citrine dagger in her palm. His mate might not have wanted to kill him, but Luz sure as hell wanted to see him dead.

“Are you seriously going to just sit there in his lap and pretend that he didn't want to suck you dry right now? And like a crazy person, you just
gave
your throat to him?”

“That's exactly what I'm going to do.” Naya didn't move, didn't even turn to face her cousin. “I can't live without him, Luz. I won't.”

 

CHAPTER

21

Naya didn't understand this tether that bound her to Ronan, but one thing was certain: Come hell or high water, nothing would come between them. And that included her family.

“Call Manny. It's time to end this.”

“
Estás loca
,” Luz said. Naya didn't have to look at her cousin to know a piteous expression had settled on her usually chipper face. “I'll call him, but you'd better deal with Paul before sundown. I love you, but he won't hesitate to put the vampire down. I hope you know what you're doing, Cuz.”

“Yeah. Me too. After you call Manny, tell Paul that you found me and that I'll be over to see him soon. I don't want anyone else to get hurt, and if Joaquin or any of them are searching after sundown it'll invite trouble.”

An uncomfortable silence descended and Naya's skin prickled. She wouldn't put it past Luz to do something rash. “Luz?”

“If you so much as lay a threatening finger on her while I'm gone, I'll run my dagger through your heart myself, vampire.”

The door closed behind her and silence once again settled over them like a too-warm blanket.

“I'm sorry, Naya.”

His words caused a fissure in her heart, so full of tender emotion. Tears stung at Naya's eyes and she willed them to stay put. The last thing she needed was for him to see her fall apart when he was so clearly hanging on by the barest of threads.

With her face still buried in the crook of his neck, Naya couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to sink her teeth into his flesh. Take his blood on her tongue. “What's it like?” she asked. She needed to keep him in the moment. Negative emotions—even regret—could trigger the magic to reawaken. If she didn't extract it from Ronan's body soon, he'd become a mapinguari, a demon with an unquenchable thirst for chaos. If that happened, Luz would get her wish and there wouldn't be a gods-damned thing Naya could do about it.

“What's what like?” He held her so tight, as though he was afraid she'd slip away. His fingers teased the strands of her hair and she shivered.

“Drinking my blood.”

Ronan pulled away and stared into her face. His irises flashed with silver and a furrow marred his brow. “It's
everything,
” he replied in a hoarse whisper. “I've fed from dhampirs, taken my king's own blood the night he turned me. But even my first taste as a true vampire can't compare to the experience of taking your vein, Naya.” He stroked his fingers through the hair that framed her face as he studied her. “I am in love with the locks of your hair,” he remarked with a quiet laugh. “Like threads of raw silk against my skin.”

“I could cut some for you to carry around in your pocket.” She looked away with a nervous laugh, afraid that he might see the shameless want shining in her eyes. “You know, if you're into that sort of thing.” She'd used the joke to deflect from the fact that what she wanted to hear from him was that he was in love with more than just her hair. Though she decried the idea of belonging to anyone, Naya wanted a male to love her. Even if she was bald, ugly, too thick, or too thin. And most of all, she wanted a male to love her even when she was
powerless
. When she had nothing more to offer than herself.

“To cut even a strand of your hair would be a travesty.” He continued to stroke her as though the act itself kept him grounded. “I want it long and wild.”

Naya's lips hitched in a half smile. “It's not long enough, huh?”

“Hardly. I want it cascading down your back, covering your breasts. I want your hair to brush my chest, the tops of my thighs as you ride me.”

Heat swamped her, pulsing low in Naya's abdomen. She wanted him so badly that she ached and nothing short of joining their bodies would make that hurt go away. It wasn't normal to want someone so badly. This went beyond obsession. It was a need that couldn't be sated.

“The sun is still up.” Naya swallowed down the lump that rose in her throat. She needed to put some distance between them, but her body refused to move. “Shouldn't you be out for the count?”

His brows pulled together as Ronan searched her face. “Cold darkness woke me.” Pain marred his handsome face and Naya smoothed her thumbs over the furrows that lined his forehead. “It's growing stronger. Harder to fight. Luz might be driving her dagger through my heart sooner than either of us thinks.”

“That's not going to happen.”

“It might. My thirst is unquenchable, Naya. The darkness is insatiable. I'll gladly die if it keeps you safe from me. My only regret will be not having the opportunity to join with you in a true mate bond and enjoy your body while I take your vein.”

The idea of having Ronan's fangs buried in her throat while he fucked her sent a thrill through Naya's bloodstream. “Is that what a vampire mating entails?” Bororo matings were more ceremonial than physical. Always performed at the full moon and witnessed by every member of the tribe's pod. It was an unbreakable contract. One that, if broken, would gain swift retribution. The Bororo were big on shame. And breaking sacred vows was as shameful as it came. “Sex and blood?”

“Can you think of anything better?” Ronan asked with a flirtatious grin. It turned Naya's insides to mush and caused her heart to beat wildly in her chest. “The tether is sacred for so many reasons, Naya. When tethered, our souls are returned to us from an empty oblivion.” He cupped the back of her neck, his artful fingers loosening the tight muscles there. She let out a soft sigh, her lids drooping. The sound of his voice, his touch, his very presence, was a comfort unlike anything she'd ever known. “And though we can gather strength from our covens, from that bond that connects us all, the blood of our mate is an elixir of life and power that has no equal. It makes us stronger not only as individuals but as a whole. The tether is revered among vampires.”

“And the sex?”

“Isn't sex a sacred act no matter your creed? Is it not the one thing that solidifies any mate bond?”

Naya smiled. “So true. But…” She worried her lip between her teeth. “You seem to want to bite me when we're intimate. Is drinking blood and sex tied?”

Ronan's lips curved in a sensual grin that revealed the sharp tips of his fangs. “My mate is so curious.” He searched her face and silver chased across his gaze. “It warms my blood.”

A flush crept to Naya's cheeks. She wasn't a vampire, but even she sensed the connection. Wanted his bite as he pleasured her. It supercharged every sensation in her body. Heightened her sensitivity. “It makes me…” She paused. Let out a nervous breath as she looked away.

Ronan guided her chin up until she had no choice but to meet his eyes. “There isn't anything you can't say to me. Ask me. For you, Naya, I'm an open book.”

For you, Naya.
Did he have any idea how his words affected her? “The bite. It makes me feel so
good
. Is it the same for a vampire?”

A low purr vibrated in his chest and Naya swore she felt it in her pussy. The ache in the center of her core intensified until she thought she'd go mad with want. “It's the same. For us, sex and feeding are closely tied. They're both acts of intimacy. To take your mate's vein—to have your vein taken by your mate—there's no equal.”

Despair settled in Naya's stomach like a stone. How could he ever be truly happy with her then? She wasn't a vampire. Wouldn't ever be a vampire. If they stayed together there would always be an essential part of their relationship that was missing.

“What are we doing, Ronan?” The words burst from her lips, unbidden. “This is ridiculous. How can we use words like ‘bond' and ‘tether' and ‘mate' when we're about as compatible as a sheep and a wolf?” Anger burned in her chest, banishing the warm glow of her arousal. “Who's Siobhan, Ronan?”

His jaw squared as he met Naya's gaze. “A dhampir. Leader of one of the city's most powerful covens. And…”—he took a deep breath—“… the female Chelle and I took refuge with when we fled England. I made a blood troth to her in exchange for a codex that I gave to Mikhail. If any female save her lays claim to my body, my blood will boil and the heat of my betrayal will burn me alive.”

“We're both promised to others for the love of the gods!” Rueful laughter bubbled in Naya's throat. “I can't even touch you the way I want to without the risk of you burning from the inside out?” She pushed herself away, but Ronan held on to her, refusing to let her go. Gods, he was a stubborn male. “Is that how you want to live? Without ever being able to solidify our—”She snorted. “I can't even call what this is a
relationship.
Our tether? I don't need your blood to live, Ronan! We can't even have sex!”

Magic pooled in her cells and trickled from her pores. Ronan jerked and released his hold on her as though he'd been stung. A sob rose in her throat and Naya swallowed it as she scrambled to stand. She had to get out of there. Get away from
him
before she lost it.

She reached for the doorknob and turned, only to have the door slammed shut. The heat from Ronan's chest buffeted her back. He surrounded her. Overwhelmed her. His presence sucked all of the breathable oxygen from the air and Naya's head swam with his clean, masculine scent.

“Let me go, Ronan.”

His response was a low growl. “No.”

“I want to leave. Damn it, let me leave!”

Again, “No.”

Did he want to see her fall apart? Her world was crumbling around her and Naya would be left with nothing but ruin. “This tether is going to destroy us both. Gods, Ronan, don't you understand? I can't
ever
be what you need!”

*   *   *

There was no doubt that their situation was a fucking mess, but Naya was sorely mistaken if she thought he'd simply let her walk out that door and out of his life. “I thought you were a fighter, Naya.”

She bucked her chin in the air. So defiant. How could she possibly think she couldn't be what he needed? Naya was the
only
thing he needed in this gods-forsaken world. “What in the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Ronan kept his palm planted firmly on the door. Naya seemed reluctant to let go of the knob. As though it were the only thing keeping her from reaching out to him. “You know what it means. You're bailing. You're making excuses so you don't have to deal with this. With
us
.”

“There is no us, Ronan!” She pulled on the knob, desperate for an escape that he refused to give her. “There's just you, and me, and this desperate, crazy, all-consuming want that's destroying us both!”

“Naya.”

“No!” She released the knob to shove at his chest, but Ronan wouldn't be moved. “I belong to Joaquin. You belong to Siobhan. You deserve to be with a female who can make you feel whole. Who can pierce your skin with her fangs. Drink from you! Do all of those things that you say are so vital. And I…” A tortured sob escaped her lips “… I have to stay here. I have an obligation to Joaquin. To Luz. To all of them.”

“Those are bullshit excuses and you know it, Naya!”

Tears glistened in her eyes and the air soured with her sorrow. Ronan's heart ached in his chest. A deep, stabbing sensation that stole his breath.

“What do you want from me?”

“I want you to fight for us, damn it!”

“How many times do I have to say it? There is no
us,
Ronan!”

She shoved at him again and he captured her wrists, pinning them against the door, high above her head. With his free hand he snatched her around her waist and hoisted her up, pressing Naya's body against the closed door. Her breasts rubbed against his chest and Ronan couldn't help but thrust into the cradle of her open thighs. Naya let out a desperate moan that was more pain than pleasure, but she didn't fight him. “I can't keep going like this.” Her voice was a ragged whisper in the darkened room. “I'm unraveling. I can't think straight. It gets worse every minute that I'm with you, and I'm afraid that if I don't leave you now we'll both pay for it.”

“I'm not afraid, Naya.” He leaned in close until his mouth rested at her ear. Ronan inhaled her tropical scent, the rain forest in full bloom. “As long as we're together, nothing else matters.”

“I'm terrified.” Her voice quavered with the murmured words, sending a spasm of anxiety through him. “You apologized to me for succumbing to a force that you have no hope of controlling. When it's me who should be apologizing for being unable to control it for you. If I fail…” She rested her forehead on his and her breath hitched. “If I can't save you from this
thing,
I won't survive it. How can I possibly feel that way, Ronan? When we're so clearly
not
meant for each other, why do I feel like dying when I picture an existence without you?”