The Warrior's Touch (15 page)

A few hours before dawn, Whelon began to stir. His eyes brightened when he saw them. Aileen sat beside him, Connor opposite.

‘You’re here,’ he whispered, a soft glow of happiness shining in his eyes. ‘I hoped you’d come.’

Aileen smoothed the hair from his forehead. ‘Would you like some broth or water?’

Whelon shook his head. He regarded Connor solemnly. ‘I thank you for my training.’

Connor shook his head and took the boy’s hand in his. The misshapen fingers covered Whelon’s smaller hand. ‘You still have much to learn.’

The brightness in Whelon’s face swelled. ‘I have learned all that I can.’

‘Bring me the holy water, Aileen,’ Connor ordered. The intensity of the command made her falter.

‘No. He’s not going to die.’ She refused to relinquish her hold upon the boy’s life. ‘I won’t let it happen.’

‘It’s all right, Aileen,’ Whelon said. His cracked lips turned upwards. ‘I’m going to be a true warrior now.’

Tears bled a path down her face. ‘You can be a warrior here.’

‘Not a whole one.’ Whelon lifted his eyes upwards. ‘Let me go, Aileen.’

Connor marked him with the holy water, murmuring the words of Last Rites beneath his breath. Aileen joined him, tasting the salt of her tears.

Pure unrelenting joy shone from the boy’s eyes. Peace descended over his face, and he took Connor’s hand and Aileen’s. With exertion, he placed the two together. Aileen’s fingers interlaced with Connor’s.

And with that, the boy breathed his last.

I
nside Aileen’s hut, glass shattered. Connor stood back, silent while she struck down clay and leather vessels of medicines and herbs. With tears streaming down her face, she curled her fist and smashed against the unyielding wicker frame of the hut. Curses spilled forth as she vented her rage upon the wood.

‘Aileen.’ He used his strength to subdue her, holding her in his arms. ‘Don’t.’

‘He shouldn’t have died.’ Fury blazed in her eyes, the colour turning thunderous. She sank to her knees, her shoulders slumped low. In the shadows, she trembled with exhaustion and grief.

‘Look at me.’ He sat beside her, taking her hand. Her skin was icy. ‘It wasn’t your fault.’

He wanted to take away her pain, to ease it somehow. But words were not enough.

She looked up, her expression that of a broken woman. ‘I keep thinking that, if I had learned more from Kyna. Or perhaps if I’d tried a different combination of herbs. Maybe—’

‘No. You did everything you could.’ He bade her rise and embraced her, offering the comfort of his arms.

‘Connor?’ she whispered. She tilted her chin, her mouth only inches from his. Belenus, he wanted to kiss her. But if he gave into the fierce need, he would not stop. ‘Will you help me to forget all of this?’

Aileen took a step backwards, her dark hair spilling across her shoulder. His mind conjured up sinful images, but he could not pull his gaze away. She pulled her hair to one side, then lifted her overdress away. Clad in the sheer white
léine
, her silhouette tempted him to give into his darkest desires.

His honour held by no more than a breath of reason. ‘I am leaving Banslieve.’

‘So am I. Seamus will force me to leave.’

‘I won’t take advantage of you this way.’

She bared one shoulder, then the other, until her
léine
slid to the floor. Naked, she looked like an ethereal goddess, beckoning for him to worship before her. Her nipples held the deep red of a woman who had given birth, but her waist was as small as a maiden’s. A silken web of dark hair guarded her womanhood.

‘You said you wanted me, once before. Is it still true?’

His manhood hardened in response. He ached to take her in his arms, to taste the sweetness of her flesh. ‘What are you doing, Aileen?’

He didn’t like the way she was behaving, as though she had nothing to lose. Beneath her bravado lay a woman who had been deeply hurt.

‘You know what I am doing, Connor. What will your answer be?’

He wanted to tell her no. He wanted to take the honourable path and leave her untouched. There could be no future for them.

Instead, he crushed her mouth to his, knowing it was wrong. His hands roamed across her beautiful skin, and he gloried in the ability to finally touch a woman. This woman.

Her tongue reached out to his, in a slow, seductive touch. She yielded to him, her heavy breasts tightening with the same need he felt.

He knew it was wrong to make love with her, when it would only make it more difficult to leave her behind. He broke away, offering her one more chance to end this seduction.

‘Why, Aileen? Why do you want to do something we’ll both regret?’

‘Because I need to feel alive. This night, with you. And then I’ll let you go.’

She untied the laces of his tunic and lifted the moss-coloured garment away. ‘Give me a memory. For we both know this is the last night we’ll see each other.’

Her hands moved over his muscles, tracing the battle scars. His breath caught when she lowered her lips to his chest.

The needling sense of familiarity caught him. Her touch, her body. There was something about her, a memory beyond his reach.

With her hands, she tugged at his trews, pulling them downward until she exposed his nakedness. His manhood jutted forward, long and hard.

‘I need to touch you,’ he gritted out. ‘Do not move.’

She stood before him, and he palmed her bottom, bringing her close until her breasts touched his chest. He took her nipple into his mouth, tasting the hardened tip. A sigh caught in her throat, her neck arching with pleasure.

His own body ached to fill her, to drive his length inside her sweet depths. He parted her thighs, and inserted a finger, feeling her wetness surrounding him.

‘Connor,’ she moaned.

He was losing his mind. Perhaps it was this place, the darkened shadows evoking memories of long ago. But he’d swear he’d made love to Aileen before.

He trailed a path of kisses down to her stomach, lowering her to the ground.

‘I’ve waited for this,’ she said. ‘I’ve wanted you for a long time.’

By the gods, though he knew it was wrong to take her this way, his resistance was gone. With his tongue, he tasted her honeyed femininity. Spasms of fierce need made her body shudder. He watched her body seize with pleasure while he tasted, nipped at her until waves of release stole her breath.

‘Enough,’ she begged, and turned him on to his back. Her hair spilled over his chest, soft and sensual. His erection was excruciatingly hard, but he wanted to make this moment special for her.

When she lowered herself on top of him, he closed his eyes to fight the release urge. She moved slowly, driving every inch of him deep inside her. Her tight well squeezed him, and he reached up to take her breasts in his hands.

Past and present merged, and he remembered every moment of Bealtaine. Sweet gods, but the last time he’d felt such intense pleasure was when he was barely a man.

He grabbed her waist, increasing the tempo until her body slammed against him. Desire roared through him, and he rolled her onto her back, lifting her knees to allow him to go deeper.

With each thrust, he claimed her as his own. Her breathing was fast now, her body shuddering and clenching with release. It wasn’t enough for him. Faster. Deeper. Stronger.

Aileen had lain in his arms that night. He was sure of it.

‘Bealtaine,’ he gritted out. ‘It was you, wasn’t it? That’s what you wanted to tell me.’

She lifted her hips, opening her eyes to meet his. ‘I took Lianna’s place.’

Her confession twisted at his heart. He should be relieved to learn that it had not been Lianna who had turned against him. But somehow, the new knowledge invaded his trust in Aileen.

He increased the speed, until she sobbed out in pleasure. At last, he spilled himself deep within her womb.

He stayed inside, her legs wrapped around his waist. Burying his face against her neck, he fought the confused feelings of betrayal.

‘Connor?’ she whispered, kissing his cheek. He withdrew from her, still shaken by her admission.

He pulled on his trews, no longer blinded by desire. Though his body was sated, questions filled his mind. Why had she lied to him? Was it simply a night of stolen lovemaking?

‘I want to know exactly what happened that night.’

Aileen pulled on her
léine
, suddenly self-conscious of her nakedness. Inside the hut, the fire had died down to muted coals.

‘Lianna was not a virgin.’ She closed her eyes, reliving that night so long ago. ‘She asked me to lie with you, and I agreed. In the darkness, we thought you would not know.’

‘You played me for a fool.’

The edge of his voice cut her like a blade. Aileen tried to hide her feelings. It hadn’t been that way at all. But how could he understand the yearnings of a girl only sixteen years of age? She’d been so afraid, but she’d done what she thought was right.

‘I believed if she fulfilled her part, the harvest would suffer. It would—’

‘You played her part because you wanted to lie with me.’

She could not deny it. ‘Yes.’

Beneath his accusing eyes, she struggled to maintain her composure. Tonight, she had cast aside every inhibition, anything to avoid the grief threatening to suffocate her. She’d needed him so badly.

But now, he looked at her as though she’d betrayed him. The angry glare of a warrior bore into her, of a man who didn’t like being used.

‘Tell me this, Aileen.’ He imprisoned her wrist. ‘What else did you wish to reveal about Bealtaine?’ The glint in his eyes robbed her of breath.

‘N-nothing.’

‘Rhiannon is my child, isn’t she?’

Aileen couldn’t answer. It didn’t matter what she said, for already he knew the truth. Her skin turned numb with fear. A tear rolled down her face, granting him the answer he sought.

‘Damn the both of you,’ he said, rising to his feet. His voice turned to thunder. ‘Did you enjoy laughing behind my back? Give Connor any woman and he’ll not know the difference. Is that what you said?’

He jerked the rest of his clothing back on, and Aileen covered her mouth with her hands. ‘No. We never talked about it.’

‘I saw Lianna the next morn. Naked in Tómas’s arms. I thought she’d betrayed me. But it wasn’t her. I had no cause to be angry with her.’

His eyes were black with hatred, and Aileen wished she could take the confession back. But it was too late. He wasn’t going to forgive her.

Blood rushed to her face, and she couldn’t stop shivering. Right now she wanted to flee, to seek the solace of the night and weep for all she’d lost. But she had made her own fate. It was time to face the penalty for her stolen night.

‘I don’t regret what I did,’ she said. How could she? Rhiannon was her treasure, her very heart.

‘I have a daughter,’ he said. ‘One who was raised believing her father was another man. And you find no shame in that?’

‘I tried to tell you. Twice.’ She reached out, but he would not look at her. ‘You refused to listen to me.’

‘And now? What do you expect me to do? Go and tell her who I am?’

She paled. ‘Don’t. It would only frighten her.’ She had never seen Connor so angry, but her protectiveness toward Rhiannon fortified her courage.

‘You want me to pretend as though she doesn’t exist?’

‘That would be for the best.’ Now, it was more clear than ever that she couldn’t have Connor back in her life. His words bruised her heart, and she would not shatter Rhiannon’s safe world with the truth.

‘I won’t have my daughter believing her father abandoned her.’ Cold steel eyes glared at her.

Strange, how one revelation could transform a man so. Only a moment ago, she had lain naked in his arms, both of them sated from lovemaking. Now in his visage, she saw hatred.

‘You abandoned me,’ Aileen whispered. ‘That day in the rain, when I first tried to tell you. You didn’t want any part of me.’

Her anger boiled inside her with the need to spill out all the feelings she’d held back over the past seven years. ‘Poor, plain-faced Aileen, in love with Connor MacEgan,’ she taunted. ‘I knew it would horrify you to learn that you’d shared my bed. You made that clear from the first. I wasn’t about to let you hurt Rhiannon.’

‘I would have helped you take care of her.’

‘No, you wouldn’t.’ She closed her eyes. ‘You wouldn’t have believed me. And I had Eachan to take care of us.’

‘She deserves to know the truth.’ He crossed his arms, trying to intimidate her.

She’d have none of it. Her maternal hackles rose up. ‘Are you going to give up your fight against Ó Banníon?’

‘No.’

‘Then there’s no need to tell Rhiannon about you. You won’t be there to watch her grow up.’ By Danu, why couldn’t she stop the tears from filling up inside her? She needed to be strong, to stand up for her daughter’s needs.

‘You don’t believe I will defeat him.’

‘I don’t, no.’
Do not cry. Do not let him see you weaken
. She tightened her hands into fists, digging her nails into her palms.

‘Then there’s nothing more to be said, is there?’ He strode to the door, tossing it open. With a backwards glance, he added, ‘After Samhain, I want Rhiannon fostered at my home in Laochre. Deny me, and you will regret it.’

Connor slammed his fist against the exterior of the sick hut. For nearly ten years, he’d not returned to these lands. He’d cut himself off from friends and from his foster family. But Lianna had done nothing wrong. It was Aileen who was to blame for it.

He might have forgiven her if it had only been a stolen night of lovemaking. But she’d borne him a child.

He thought of Rhiannon, her wild dark hair like her mother’s. Like a young colt with long limbs, she would be a tall maiden one day. Her creamy complexion rivalled Aileen’s, but her eyes mirrored his own. He should have recognised it.

Beyond her appearance, he knew nothing of the girl. To have a child nearly six summers of age and to be unaware of her existence troubled him. How could Aileen hold such a secret and not tell him? He was not the sort of man to leave bastard children behind.

He gathered his belongings into a bundle, placing his brother’s sword atop it. He lifted the heavy weapon with his left hand, then shifted it to his right. His wrist burned, but he gave a practice swing.

Once, he could wield a blade fluidly, without any thought. Now, it took his complete concentration to make the weapon move where he wanted it to.

He’d stayed here too long. He should have left a sennight ago. Only by training with his brothers could he defeat Flynn Ó Banníon.

After setting his belongings next to the entrance, he opened the door to let in the crisp night air. The dim starlight filtered in through the entrance, and he inhaled the scent of night.

And then, the scent of healing herbs. He closed his eyes, shutting out the memory of Aileen. His body remembered the seductive touch of her body beneath him.

Damn her for her lies. Perhaps there were some men who could father children and leave them behind, but he could not turn his back on a child. It was an act of dishonour.

He didn’t know what to do about Rhiannon, save bring her to Laochre. At least then he could do something to atone for his neglect. He’d show her that he hadn’t abandoned her.

His gaze fell upon a pair of splints and a ragged bandage. He held his hands up to the light. His hands were as whole as Aileen could have made them. She had kept her word and healed him.

But he still could not forgive her for the secret she’d kept.