The Watchers (40 page)

“I just realized something,” I called to out
to Daniel as I stared at the sky.

“Can I open my eyes now?” he asked, his voice
laced with laughter.

“Nope. I just realized that the answers we’re
looking for don’t matter nearly as much as moments like these. All
the bad stuff…” I held my arms up toward the moon, trying to
embrace her, “can’t compare to this.”

I heard an unexpected splash come from the
direction of the rock. I swallowed water as I dunked beneath the
surface to hide my body. Daniel came towards me doing a slow
breaststroke, his eyes playful.

With everything but my head beneath the water
I said, “What do you think you’re doing?!”

“Swimming.”

“This is my lake,” I said.

“You can’t own a lake.”

“Well, just stay over there. That’s your
side. This is my side.”

Ignoring me, he swam right up, his bare chest
reflecting the light of the moon.

“You’re right. It’s moments like these that
matter. Everything else…peripheral.” He touched my neck, cupping it
gently. “And Clare?” I looked at him questioningly. “I totally
peeked at you.” He smirked.

“That’s because you’re a cheater.”

“No one is perfect.”

I rolled my eyes. Then, because he was so
conveniently close, I kissed him. He felt great, solid and real,
continuity in a life that felt like it was being overrun by too
much random weirdness.

I broke away from him, all too aware of how
easy kissing him was, how easily getting lost in the moment would
be. Now wasn’t the time for that…not when I was so emotional and
confused.

Feeling slightly awkward with the emotions
pounding inside my chest, I shoved Daniel under the water and swam
towards the waterfall, daring him to catch up. Laughing, we raced
each other there, not as half-angels, not as murderers, but as two
people embracing the moment.

We tied.

Epilogue

There’s something about funerals I hate.
Beyond the dead bodies, I mean. What made this one worse was the
fact that Amanda was angry, hurt, and only there because her aunt
had forced her to come. You didn’t have to be a mind reader to see
it. It was written on her face and every impatient shift of her
body.

Daniel had his arm draped around my shoulders
as we walked across the spongy ground towards his car. The sun,
which had finally broken the pallor of winter’s grip, beat down at
us warmly. A trickle of sweat rolled down my back as I walked. It
was the first day I hadn’t had to wear Daniel’s jacket. Spring was
here at last.

Amanda walked with her Aunt Colleen, two or
three people ahead of us, the pastor finally releasing us from his
droning monologue. Her head was bowed as she struggled with
overwhelming emotions; emotions she couldn’t make heads or tails
of. I could clearly hear her thoughts over everyone else. They were
too loud and too angry to ignore. I knew what I had to do. I had
been contemplating it ever since we arrived. I stopped Daniel, and
Alex, who was walking with us.

Alex not only forgave me for changing her
into a Nightstalker but was handling the whole thing stoically.
She’d said a part of her had known the possible consequences and
hadn’t cared. She couldn’t remember much beyond feeling called to
the bunker and the overwhelming rage, but she knew she was glad to
have helped. She was an amazing friend. One I was glad to have.

“I need to talk to Amanda…do you mind?” I
asked as I faced them.

Daniel smiled and shook his head. His green
eyes told me he knew what I was doing. “We’ll wait by the car.”

Alex looked at Ellen and Sam, who were
talking to a short man standing near the casket. When they walked
away from the man – through the gravestones, deeper into the
cemetery – Sam’s hand rested on the small of Ellen’s back. I
watched them, sensing Ellen wanted to pay her respects to my
grandfather. Although Ellen’s face was solemn with the idea of what
she was about to do, she was glowing at Sam’s touch. “Actually, I
need to talk to Dad about something before he leaves,” Alex
said.

“You need money for clothes for your date.” I
smirked.

Davis had finally gotten up the nerve to ask
Alex out. With everything that had happened, that simple act had
given me the most hope. Life wasn’t all about pain and heartbreak,
it was about the little things, like a boy finding the courage to
ask a girl out.

“When don’t I need money for clothes?” Alex
asked with a smile.

“When you’re asleep, I suppose,” I said.

“Not always,” she said.

She waved a brief goodbye and hurried to
catch up with Sam before he got too far away. I kissed Daniel on
the cheek and ran to catch up with Amanda in the other
direction.

“Amanda!”

Amanda and her aunt turned at the call. The
pair was almost carbon copies of each other, the only difference
being that Amanda had dark brown eyes and Colleen’s were blue.
Colleen was dressed in an expensive looking suit that matched her
salon-styled hair perfectly. I remembered hearing that she was a
big book editor in New York City. Despite having a no-nonsense
face, and a keen knack for business, her thoughts told me she was
compassionate, a feeler, totally opposite from her brother.

“Can I talk to you for a second?” I asked
Amanda, catching a curious glance from the aunt.

Amanda was still rather pale from her
near-death experience. The way she had looked at the bottom of the
river flashed in front of my eyes. It made it hard to look at her,
but I kept my eyes trained on her dark one’s, knowing I had to tell
her the truth. She had to know that the reason for her anger wasn’t
as justified as she thought.

Her first thought was angry.
Someone else who didn’t know how bad a person he
was telling me they’re sorry.
Sadness, guilt, and
gratitude swept over her as she remembered what I had done for
her…how I had also kept her suicide attempt to myself and not
spread it to the school. Her eyes softened.
But for her, I’ll endure the platitudes
.
“Sure.”

I pulled her out of her aunt’s range of
hearing. “How are you feeling?” I asked.

“Oh…okay…you know…” She shrugged,
uncomfortable.

“Good…” There was a moment of awkward silence
before I blurted out the reason I had stopped her. “I don’t know
how much you really know about how your father died…”

Her eyes grew wide, not expecting that. “It
was an animal attack. That’s what Chuck said.”

“Not…not exactly. I can’t go into details,
but he was helping out some people who weren’t very nice.”

Figures. Must have been that creepy man who
kept coming around.

Slightly startled by the vision of Thomas she
had forced on me, I continued, “The whole story doesn’t matter,
what matters is that at the end he was trying to save you. The bad
people were using your suicide attempt as a way to draw…others out,
and your father didn’t want any part of that. He tried to stop
them, and they killed him for it. His last act was to try and save
you.”

I don’t believe her!
“How could you possibly know that?” she demanded. Her brown
eyes burned into mine. Their intensity reminded me of Sheriff
Cobb.

“I just do. It’s the truth.”

Amanda looked at me skeptically. I kept my
eyes on hers, facing her skepticism with stubborn determination. It
was important she believe. I heard her thoughts fight their way to
the conclusion I was telling her the truth. Maybe, subconsciously,
she realized I had powers beyond the normal, or maybe she wanted to
be able to believe in her dad again. Either way, her eyes filled
with tears.

“You’re not lying to me are you?” she
pleaded.

“I swear to you on my mother’s life, on my
life, I’m not.”

“I…My father wasn’t a good man. Nothing will
change that fact, but…thank you for telling me.” She hesitated.
“And thank you for saving me. There are things I still need to work
out but…you’ve given me so much.”

She hugged me, startling me with the action.
She would never forgive her father for the things he had done to
her, the abuse he had inflicted, but she had the knowledge that,
even for a brief moment, he had loved her enough to die for her. I
figured a person could go far with that kind of knowledge. She
released me, her sadness taking away her voice, and walked over to
her aunt, who was waiting by the car. I watched her walk, thinking
over her future.

She would be moving to New York as soon as
all the arrangements were done – a move that provided her with new
opportunities and endless possibilities. I hoped her future would
be better than what her past had given her.

Daniel appeared at my side and took my hand.
We walked to the car. “That was a very kind thing you just did,” he
said.

“It was the truth.”

“It was kind all the same.”

He smiled at me, his eyes impossibly soft. He
opened my door, and I slid in as he walked around to join me. I
watched him walk, feeling strangely happy, as if a weight had
lifted off of me. We didn’t have the results from all the tests
Beatrice and Han had done. We didn’t know what my future held, or
what kind of creature I was, but we had each other. I figured, like
Amanda, I could go far with that.

“Would it be inappropriate for me to tell you
how amazing you look?” he asked, starting the Audi and maneuvering
around the parked cars.

“Yes,” I said, looking at the black dress,
heels and jewelry Alex had forced on me.

“I won’t say it, then.”

“That qualifies as saying it,” I
retorted.

“I was never one for the appropriate.”

“That’s the truth…” I turned to talk to Alex,
but the backseat was empty. I looked at the side of his face
questioningly. “Did we ditch Alex?”

“No. She left with Sam and Ellen. They’re
going out to lunch…I asked her if we could be alone for a little
while, because I have a surprise.”

“What surprise?”

He laughed. “You can’t ask about it in that
demanding tone, Clare. It won’t make me tell you what it is.”

I made a face. “Do you think she’ll
recover?”

“You or Amanda?” he asked pointedly.

“Don’t start.”

He thought about his answer. “I tried to look
through all the possibilities, as much as I could, and I feel like
Amanda is going to flourish in New York. It’ll be good for
her.”

“I hope so.”

He made another turn, and I realized we were
headed towards his house. I hoped his surprise didn’t involve
needles. I couldn’t handle any more of those. They had been my
mainstay for the past two days. Oddly enough, though, his place had
become my refuge. Even though the tests happened there, it was the
one place that was unassailable. It was my castle in the woods.

“Clare…I’ve been meaning to ask you
something.”

“What?”

“When’s your birthday?”

I stared at him, peeling my eyes away from
the trees which were encroaching on the road as we drove up his
mountain. We had been trying to keep the weird things at bay,
concentrating on being together as a couple, but I knew in spite of
that, or maybe, because of it, that the weird things couldn’t be
put off forever. My throat was suddenly dry. Did my birthday even
mean anything anymore? Did it matter that I would turn seventeen? I
thought I had jumped that barrier when I had killed.

“October
31
^st
. Why?”

“Halloween?” He laughed. “That’s
awesome.”

“Why?” I asked again.

“I want to get you a present of course.
Something special. You only turn seventeen once.” He thought about
my age for a moment. “You skipped a grade didn’t you?”

Ignoring his question I asked, “Are you sure
you’re not asking because you’re wondering if it’ll have any effect
on what I can do? Or how much time we have before they come looking
for me again?”

“Nope,” he said.

“No, you’re not sure, or no, you’re not?”

“No.”

We drove past an old well house, which
reminded me of the cellar I had fought Thomas in. My heart started
pounding at the memory. Cobb’s desperate eyes filled my thoughts.
“Do you ever stop thinking about them?” I asked quietly,
finally.

His lips hardened, and his eyes grew distant.
He knew I meant the deaths I had caused. “Only when I’m around you.
When I’m alone…well, that’s another story. So, no. They never
really leave you.”

“I’m afraid because…because….”

“A part of you enjoyed it? You felt righteous
when they died?”

“Yes,” I admitted.

“I’m not going to gloss over the fact that
you killed them, or downplay your role in that, because I know you
don’t want me to, and because you wouldn’t listen. I’ve been there.
But I will say this. You didn’t kill them in cold blood, Clare. You
killed people who were threatening your life and my life. It wasn’t
a vengeful slaying. You did take those lives, but you took them
because you had no other choice. That’s what distinguishes us from
them. We kill when there is no other choice.”

“But a part of me…” I began.

“That’s the part of you that you have to
always look at honestly. Keep it to the front of your brain. It
will help you know when it’s time to defend yourself or when you
are closing in on the boundary of wanton murder.”

“I feel so weak, and vulnerable, and bad, all
at the same time.”

I was getting better at sharing the darkest
parts of me, at coming clean about my weaknesses. Daniel was very
understanding. He’d been through so much in his long years that he
didn’t judge me for whatever I said, and that helped.

“You’re the opposite of bad and the epitome
of strength. But, it’s okay to feel that way. When I first killed…I
felt the same way. Worse actually.”