The Way to Her Heart (21 page)

He tried to let her choose the movie.

“Nope. It’s your turn. I got to pick last time.”

“But that was at home, so it doesn’t count.”

“Pick a movie, Josh.” She tried to look stern but ended up laughing.

He held up his hands in surrender. “God, you’re bossy. Fine. Just for that, I choose a horror movie.”

She smirked; she loved horror movies. The scarier the better, and she’d been dying to see the one for which Josh was currently purchasing tickets. “Ooh, I hope it’s not too scary.” She tried for an innocent tone.

He narrowed his eyes as he gave her a ticket. “You love horror movies, don’t you?”

She bit her lip, trying not to laugh. “I do.”

He chuckled. “It figures. That’s what I get, huh? I know you love popcorn, so let’s get a big bucket.”

They managed to find seats right behind the rail between the sections so they could put their feet up. Josh pushed the armrest up between them and balanced the giant bucket of popcorn on her lap. Now she was perfectly aware of movie theater date rules: armrest down meant no handholding, friend zone. Armrest up—well, it left a person’s options open. She sternly admonished herself for momentarily entertaining the thought that he had done it because he wanted this to be a real date.
Knock it off, Bernie! It’s not like that. He only did it so you can share the popcorn.

Halfway through the movie, she didn’t know what it was like or what to think. Josh had set the now-empty popcorn bucket on the floor at their feet but remained angled toward her. As the plot of the movie escalated and the suspense mounted, Josh clutched her arm tighter. She couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment when she realized he was actually clutching her hand, his fingers intertwined with hers. She completely lost the thread of the plot as the warmth from his palm eclipsed rational thought. What did it mean, if anything? He confused her. He seemed to enjoy spending time with her, and he was very physical, touching and hugging her frequently. And what about the kiss? He had kissed her back, she was sure of it! But there was never any follow-up. He never asked her out. Part of her really wanted to call him on it. Part of her was tempted to pull her hand away from his. She did neither. She couldn’t bear to ruin what they had—whatever it was.

***

“
Can
I come in?” She peeked around Josh’s partially open bedroom door.

“Sure. As long as you can handle the sight of me packing my underwear.” He chuckled and held up a small stack of white briefs before stacking them in the suitcase lying open on his bed.

“I think I can deal with it.” She smiled and tried not to picture him in those briefs. “So, you leave first thing in the morning, huh?” She propped herself at the end of his bed and started folding the pile of clothes beside her.

“You don’t need to do that.”

“I don’t mind.” She folded a few of his shirts, mainly the classic rock band t-shirts he tended to favor. “Are you excited about your trip?” He was leaving early the next morning for his week-long culinary camp in San Francisco.

“Yeah, of course. I hope to learn a lot.” He turned to his dresser and grabbed a pile of socks to add to the suitcase.

There was something so intimate about watching him pack his clothing. She watched his face, her stomach clenching as she thought about how much she was going to miss him while he was gone. “I stopped by and looked at the apartment today.” Maurice had promised her a reasonable rental rate on the newly remodeled unit in his triplex.

“And?”

“It’s gorgeous. Thank you, Josh. I know you’re the reason I’m getting such a great apartment.”

“I only introduced you to Maurice. He’s thrilled to have a quiet, responsible tenant.” He closed the suitcase and set it on the floor. “I’ll help you move in when I get back.”

“Thanks.” She wanted her own place, of course, but his apparent eagerness to get her out of his house was depressing. She wondered if they would drift apart once she moved out. It hurt to think about not being close to him.

“Bernie.” He sat next to her and took her hand. “Be careful while I’m gone.”

He sounded so serious suddenly. She looked up at him in surprise. “What do you mean?”

He dropped her hand, running his hands through his hair. “I don’t know.” He stood and began pacing. “It’s crazy, I know. Just please be careful, okay?”

“Of course. I’m always careful.”

He knelt in front of her and placed one hand on her face. “I mean it, Bernie. I need you to promise me.”

She stared into his cobalt-blue eyes, seeing concern and…fear? “What’s going on, Josh?”

“Just promise me.”

“I promise.”

***

Bernie had taken Saturday morning off so she could go with Claire to the airport to say good-bye to Josh. It was silly and probably tipped her hand about how she felt about him, but heck, the kiss she’d plastered on him had done
that
.
She was going to miss him and wanted to see him off, so she did. She was glad she had as she watched Claire hug her son tearfully before he went through security.

“Mom.” Josh’s voice was strained as he held his mother tightly. “You’re going to be okay, aren’t you? I’ll only be gone for a week.”

“Of course I will.” She pulled back slightly and laughed a bit. “I’m being ridiculous.”

Bernie’s throat tightened as she realized this was the first time they’d been apart since Caleb and Josh’s dad had died.
Why does love have to hurt so much sometimes?

“You’re not ridiculous. I’m going to miss you too.”

“Oh, I hope you’re busy learning so much you don’t have time to miss your old mom. Now say good-bye to Bernie while I fix my face.” She fished in her purse for a tissue.

She loved how he pulled her into his arms with no awkwardness at all.

“Take care of her while I’m gone, okay? She’s having a rough time with this,” he whispered against her hair.

“Sure. I’ll spend extra time with her.”

“Thanks, Bernie. Maybe you two can have another Buffyfest or something.” He pulled back and looked into her face. “Remember what you promised?”

She rolled her eyes and nodded. “Yes. I remember.”

“Yeah, okay. Good. I gotta go.” He sighed and looked over his shoulder at his mother. He turned back to Bernie and bent to brush her lips lightly with his. “Bye, Bernie. Be safe.” Then he spun away and joined the stream of other passengers rushing to get through security and on to their gates.

She watched him weave through the line until she couldn’t see him anymore.

Claire snaked her arm around Bernie’s waist and leaned her head on her shoulder. “We’re gonna miss him, huh?”

Bernie hugged her back and nodded.

“Let’s stop for breakfast, okay? I don’t feel like going home yet. The house is going to be too empty.”

They ate at a little diner near the airport. Bernie ordered enchiladas and eggs and frowned at Claire when she tried to order only coffee.

“Fine. I’ll have the eggs Benedict special. Happy?” Claire groused as she handed the menu to the waitress.

“I’m just making sure you eat. I promised Josh I’d take care of you.”

“He worries too much. But thank you. I’ll try not to be so high maintenance this week.” She was silent while the waitress delivered Bernie’s orange juice. “You and Josh have become really good friends.”

“Is that a question?”

“No. Merely an observation.” Claire sipped her coffee and looked around at the other diner patrons. “You’re good for him, you know.”

“I am?” She didn’t think she’d ever been good for anyone. What did that even mean?

“This has been a really tough year for him, Bernie.”

“For you too,” Bernie whispered.

Claire nodded. “But he’s better since he met you. Thank you.”

Bernie gulped, not sure how to respond. What would Claire think if she knew how Bernie really felt about Josh? She was pretty sure Claire would not appreciate the direction her thoughts often took when she looked at him. “Maybe we’re good for each other.”

Claire smiled. “There’s no maybe about it.”

***

The
week crawled by without him. Bernie and Claire had started with a bang, ordering Chinese food and binge-watching
Buffy
, but by Tuesday they couldn’t seem to dredge the will to do anything organized. By Thursday they were eating cereal—no milk since they’d run out and neither felt like stopping on the way home.

“God, we’re pathetic. You may not tell Josh we nearly starved to death while he was gone!” Claire set the unappetizing dry cereal on a side table.

“My lips are sealed.”

“I could order pizza,” Claire suggested, not sounding at all thrilled.

“No thanks, unless you want it.”

“Not really. I could go for some ice cream, though.”

“I think there’s some in the freezer.”

“Then why are we sitting here eating dry cereal?” Claire gathered their bowls and led the way to the kitchen. They found half a carton of mint chocolate chip, and Bernie split it between two bowls, reserving a small amount for Freddie. “You’re not messing around, huh?”

“Nope. We get more since it’s a meal. That’s how it works.”

“I like the way you think. Let’s watch a Bradley Cooper movie. And not the one where he’s a raccoon. I need eye candy.”

***

Bernie worked all day Friday, and she was exhausted. She’d put in long hours all week, happy to spend her spring break earning extra money for the big initial payment she owed Maurice for the apartment. The long hours made the time without Josh go by faster. That’s what she told herself. Her move-in date was scheduled for the following week, barring any delays from the contractors. Tonight she was looking forward to a quiet evening in front of the television with Freddie. Josh would be home late Saturday, and Bernie couldn’t wait. Her phone vibrated with a message as she was locking up.

Natalia: Im on my way 2 pick u up. Ur at work, right?

She sighed in irritation. She had absolutely no desire to spend the evening partying with Natalia and her friends.

Bernie: Cant 2nite. Sorry.

The phone rang approximately six seconds after she sent the message. She didn’t even have to look at the caller ID. “Hey, Nat. Sorry I can’t go tonight. I promised—”

“It’s important, Bernie. It’s at the same place as the night Gabby disappeared. I know you’re still trying to figure out what happened to her. The guy who lives there was really coming on to her that night. But if you don’t care…”

Bernie sighed again in frustration. “Yeah, okay. I guess I should talk to him. Where is this place?”

“I’ll pick you up. I’m about two blocks away.”

“I’ll just follow you. I want to be able to leave early.”

“There’s not very much parking. Just let me pick you up, Bernie! We can leave whenever you want, okay? I’m almost there.”

“All right. Fine. But I’m exhausted and don’t plan to stay out late.”

“No problem,” Natalia assured her.

Bernie clicked off and finished locking up. She decided not to text Claire since she planned to be home early. She only had to wait about a minute before Natalia and Sofia screeched into the parking lot. She reached for the front door handle but noticed Sofia was sitting in the front passenger seat. Bernie frowned; what did it remind her of? She puzzled over the random thought as she got in the backseat.

“I’m so glad you decided to come!” Natalia gushed. She barely waited until Bernie had shut the door before accelerating so fast she was pressed against the seat. Bernie swore to herself she would never catch a ride with Natalia again.

“So, what’s this guy’s name who was coming on to Gabby? Does he go to our school? Do I know him?”

“Um, no. I don’t think you know him. He’s kind of a creeper. I just heard about this party like an hour ago and I remembered this guy and I thought you might want to question him.”

Bernie closed her eyes wearily, trying to decipher Natalia’s rambling statement. “I might ask him a few questions, but I wouldn’t call it ‘questioning.’”

“Huh. My mistake.”

They rode in silence for the remainder of the trip across town. Bernie actually dozed off, waking as Natalia pulled into a parking spot directly across the street from the house that was obviously hosting the party. Bernie swallowed her irritation over Natalia’s overstatement of the parking dilemma and followed the two girls up the walk.

Inside, music was blaring and people were engaged in a variety of activities, most holding what Bernie assumed were alcoholic beverages. The average age of the partygoers struck her as older than high school, and it made her faintly uncomfortable for some reason. She turned to ask Natalia about it but found herself standing alone.
Great. How am I going to figure out who this guy is who was scamming on Gabby?